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King Gambrinus - Patron Saint of beer.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

LIVE! From The Florida Governor's Hurricane Conference.

Investigative reporting! I love it. And now I get to do some!

You see, I am currently at the convention center where the Florida Governor's Hurricane Conference is.

It is not as exciting as one would think. There is no hurricane. The conference part is here however. I assume the governor part is also around here someplace - but I do not know where.

So why am I here? ICS-300. Look it up. I am learning all about the incident command system and how it works. Pretty neat huh? I think so. The training is actually very informative.

But I also got some bad news. There will be NO free stuff. I lack access to the free stuff part of the conference.

The cost to attend this thing is broken down into three areas. Conference only, training only, or both. If you are training only, you get a cool green ID / wallet thing you have to wear around your neck. The training and conference people have a blue wallet / ID holder thing.

I have a green one. So no access to the display booth room for me.

I could gain access to the full conference - for another $100. I did the cost/benefit analysis and determined that for $100 I could just buy more crap than I would get for free. The cost would therefore outweigh the benefit.

But all is not lost. Sort of. You see, I paid for the training. In theory it will be a benefit to me.

But I did not expect a cool wallet / ID holder thing. So that counts as "free". I also got this tote bag thing that is actually fairly decent. That counts as "free".

And there is all manners of free coffee. The stirrers are even encrusted with rock candy (AKA crystallized sugar). And there are even cinnamon sticks (tree bark) for the coffee.

That is some gourmet shit right there.

And trust me this night owl is LOADING up on that stuff. It is my lifeblood at this point. I am like the cookie monster, only I am walking around saying "coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee".

I fully expect an intervention at any moment now. But I do not have a problem - everyone else does.

As long as they do not try to slip me that decaf stuff Ill be fine.

And what kind of sick bastard came up with decaf coffee? That is like non-alcoholic beer, THC free pot, or cocaine free cocaine. It is just not as much fun without the active ingredient.

5 Comments:

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

You're not fooling me. I know you're standing outside with a tin can, trying to gain admittance. Come clean, Lazy. Put down the beer and 'fess up.

15:04  
Blogger Fuzz said...

About "Near Beer"
"Whoever called it 'Near Beer' was a poor judge of distance"

18:28  
Blogger actonbell said...

Great picture! And we all know that you could stop anytime you want, right? There's no problem.

But right now, I'm thinking that I sure could go for a beer, but I can't get one without my husband seeing, and he would think that we drank last night, the night before, and the night before that, and we'll be drinking tomorrow night, too--so....this is not a good urge.

Gourmet coffee is great, too.

21:05  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Scarlet - I was actually inside. Where the free internet was. As you know, I am all about the free stuff. Wireless internet, pens, note pads - whatever.

Fuzz - I agree. The beer I like can not come in a "light" variety - and "near" would be impossible, I would rather drink carbonated water. Really.

Actionbell - one beer a day is not a big deal. Perfectly OK. 10 beers a day is bad. One today, 4 tomorrow, then three more the day after that is.....uhhhh...well probably not too good. So forget it. Bad example.

Where was I again?

23:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cute post. I know exactly what you mean when you can drink coffee all day long, I am a "caffeineholic" too.

08:06  

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