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I arrived back in Miami on Friday. Just in case anyone was wondering.

I have more photos that I need to post, but I am fairly lazy and have not done so yet.

I also have a significant amount of work to do. For one, the Waverunner needs to be put away. The engine was flushed after the last ride, and the engine was also hosed off. When I got it home I jacked the trailer tongue WAY up and rinsed it off very well - including the engine and bilge again. I also removed all the crap from the storage compartment and rinsed that out.

The fire extinguisher got broken somehow.

I still need to wash it down with soap, dry it, wax it, put all the crap back into the storage compartment (assuming it is dry), then put the cover back on. Oh yea - and spray the engine down with Corrosion Block. I forgot to mention that part.

The boat also needs to be washed down. I really need to do a deep cleaning on that thing. The hull at and below the waterline has a yellow tinge to it. So that means I need more strong acid based cleaner. I love working with that stuff.

But that is just how it is.

Ask The Iguana!

Fuzz asks:

"Money? for wallpaper?
What kinda place is this?"

Glad you asked.

This place is the restaurant / bar on Cabbage Key. Cabbage Key is a privately owned island, accessible only by boat. Or Waverunner. Or kayak, canoe, rowboat, windsurfer, or whatever else you have that floats.

The key was first purchased in the early 1900s. I forgot exactly when. The question I have about that is who did the first owner buy it from? If you are the first owner then that means there was no owner before you - so how does that work? Hey! Want to buy this thing I do not own from me?

Anyhow, they built a house there. The house is still there, along with the 25,000 gallon rain water collecting tank thing. See, there was no water on the island, so it was necessary to catch rainwater. I think they still do this - although the current owner paid for a water line to run out to the island. There is also an underwater power cable.

Anyhow at some point the people living on the island decided to open up a small kitchen and bar to the local fishermen. Sometime in the 1960s. Back then there were fewer people living in the area (it is in the Fort Myers / Pine Island / Port Charlotte area), and fewer boats. So it was not a big hang out spot.

The fishermen would sometimes catch stuff, and sometimes not catch stuff. So then they had a good day, they would leave a dollar on the bar. Literally on the bar. They would write their name on it then staple or nail or tape it to the bar. Whatever worked.

That way on a bad day, there was already one of their dollars at the bar, which could then be converted into a beer and some soup. Things were a lot cheaper back then.

Well as time ticked on, motorboats became more common, and so there were more weekend boaters. They quickly discovered Cabbage Key and started going there for beer.

They still go there for beer. And food. And they discovered the dollars left by the fishermen. And for some reason they thought it would be cool if they did the same thing. So they did.

The owners did not discourage this, because people started talking about "that place with the dollars on the wall". This brought more people in, who left a dollar on the wall, making more dollars on the wall for more people to talk about - and ultimately selling a lot more beer and burgers.

So today there is an estimated $70,000 on the walls, support columns, ceiling, doors, rafters, and so on.

Every year at least $10,000 falls off the walls. Some years more - some years less - but the average is around $12,000 or so.

The money that falls off the wall is collected, and donated to a charity.

Selected Photos From North Captiva And Cabbage Key

First - North Captiva!! Accessible only by boat, some people actually live on the island. There are no cars, as there are no ferry boats that can carry cars that go to North Captiva. You do not really need a car anyway - the island is mostly empty. Open deserted beach. No crowds. The way it should be.


Some of the houses on North Captiva are rental units. If you can arrange for your own transportation to the island (I recommend a boat - unless you are a good long distance swimmer), you can stay there.

The second stop of the day was Cabbage Key. This is a privately owned island, but it is open to the public. There are various rental cottages, and a bar / resturant. People do live there - the owner of the island is one of them. The staff also live there - as the commute to work would be a bitch every day. This is the resturant - and the original house first built on Cabbage Key. Well part of it is anyway.

A dollar is just not worth shit anymore. This is apparent when you go to Cabbage Key. The value of a dollar has dropped SO LOW, that people have resorted to using dollar bills as wallpaper.

I Have Too Much Blood In My Alcohol System

Or something like that.

Sunday was WAVERUNNER DAY here on Sanibel Island.

Now some of you may be wondering why I stay in Florida. I sure do bitch about this place a whole lot after all. Why do I stay? Got me.


OH YEA! I remember now. By the way, the above photo was taken in the "surf zone" of the beach. I was anchored on the first sandbar, in really super shallow water. Notice the lack of waves. It was FLAT calm out today.

Perfect Waverunner conditions. It could not have been much better. Wide open throttle (WOT) gets me to around 50 mph. Slower if there are are waves. 55 mph is supposed to be top speed but the speedometer does not read a steady speed much above 50 mph. I tend to cruise at around 40 or so.

It is a wild ride.

For lunch I met up with my parents, who were on the boat. Lunch was at a place called "The Waterfront" on Pine Island.

On the agenda for Monday is a run to Cayo Costa State Park. This state park is accessible only by boat. Or Waverunner. Since you can not drive there, the beaches are less crowded. Not like the beaches on Sanibel are crowded or anything - but there are less people at the State Park. I can usually find cool shells.

Then Ill make a trek to Cabbage Key. What the hell.

Beachy

Things are going pretty darn good here on the island. I managed to wake up, then get to the marina.

This took more effort than one might imagine.


Of course the boat is at the marina. Floating in a wet slip. Ill have the same slip all week. This is great because all I can leave my dock lines tied to the pilings. To leave, all I do is remove the eye splice loops from the cleats on the boat - then leave the lines on the dock. When I get back the lines are already set. Once the spring lines are on the right cleats - the boat is exactly where I want it to stay.


This is the resort as seen by sea. It faces the open Gulf Of Mexico. The marina is on the San Carlos Bay side of the island. The ride from the marina to the resort beach is short.

Once anchored it is a short walk to the beach. And once on the beach you are close to the pool. I thought this was a decent photo. A shot of the beach, the path leading to the pool, and the boat anchored off the beach.


And the pool is close to the pool bar. The pool bar has rum. The rum featured here is Mount Gay rum from Barbados. On the rocks. A simple drink for a simple time.

After the proper amount of time spent at the pool bar, one remembers that the boat is still at anchor off the beach. So I had to wade back out to the boat, bring up the anchor, and get back to the slip at the marina.

Life is hard right about now. I am on a barrier island in Florida, with a powerboat in a marina wet slip.

There is also a Waverunner around here someplace. I remember towing it from Miami. I plan to take it out to play later today. Once the sun is up.

The Other Side Of Florida

Well I am here. On Sanibel Island, FL. And where is that? If I wanted to know I would use this secret internet site NOBODY knows about. It is called "Google maps".

Anyhow every year I make the trek over to the island for a week. It is always the same exact week too. I have been doing this for some 30 years now. It is a timeshare deal. A pretty good deal too.

But there is one problem. The nemesis. The nemesis is here every year. But I have concocted a way to defeat the nemesis.

And what is this nemesis? Stairs. There is no elevator here, so everything you want to bring must be hauled up the stairs. There are 4 flights of 7 stairs - for a grand total of 28 steps. This may not sound like a lot, and in reality it is not. Unless there is a lot of shit to haul up.

Now you may notice something odd in the stairs photo. There seems to be a rope of some sort in the picture. More on that later.

Now if I am at the top of the stairs and I look over the rail, I can see that it is a long way down. Too far to jump, and too far to throw things up to someone standing at the top.


But there is a solution. The rope you see is a big part of that solution. Using that rope, a pulley, some straps, and some scrap metal parts this device was cobbled together.

I am a big fan of labor saving devices that actually save labor. And this device really saves A LOT of work. No having to go up and down all those steps carrying shit. Someone downstairs simply attaches a bag to a hook, loads shit in the bag, then hauls it up by pulling the rope. Someone at the top of the stairs is there to receive the shit, remove the bag from the hook, take the bag in the apartment, unload the shit, then send the bag back down.

Meanwhile, the person at the bottom of the stairs loads the second bag with shit and waits for the other person to get done so that bag can be sent up.

Doing this, all the crap can be hauled up MUCH faster and with MUCH less effort.

This means that I can hang out here faster. The view from the back porch.

The water in the background is the Gulf Of Mexico.

The beer is Sierra Nevada.

Goings On

I have TONS of stuff going on. So here is a preview of things to come!!!

Wednesday - Take the truck to Ye Ole Service Department for a new timing belt. I like to be on time to things, and for this to happen it helps if you have a good timing belt. Also, if the timing belt breaks pistons can slam onto valves - and this is NEVER good. I got this part done already, seeing as how Wednesday was yesterday.

Thursday - Get the truck back. Ye Ole Service Department finished working too late for me to get the truck back the same day, so Ill need to get it today. Then I have to finish getting the boat ready to trailer. And I have to get the Waverunner ready to trailer. This is pretty much done already. The boat trailer got a new torsion axle Tuesday! it needed one, as the old one had a rust hole in it that you could feel the rubber rods through. The rubber was also pretty shot, and was not really acting as a shock absorber as much. The action on the trailer axle was stiff. It is springy again now. The Waverunner trailer could use another tire. I also need to clean out the truck, and clean out the toolbox. I have to pack. I have to find the antenna for my wireless access point, or just get another one that will have greater range (802.11 G).

Friday - load the shit I packed into the truck. Take the cats to the vet where they will hang out for the week. Hitch up the Waverunner and pull it to the other side of Florida. Sanibel Island to be more precise. The boat is going to go also - someone else will pull it. Once on the island the boat needs to be put into the water and taken to the marina where it will hang out for the week.

Saturday - Drink something made with crushed ice and rum. Maybe use the boat. Maybe use the Waveruner. Who knows.

Sunday - Same as Saturday

Monday - Same as Sunday

Tuesday - Same as Monday

Wednesday - Same as Tuesday

Thursday - Same as Wednesday

Friday - return to Miami. Collect the cats from the vet. Wash down the boat and Waverunner. And a bunch of other crap.

Ill probably remember to post photos from Sanibel Island here. The place I stay at every year has high speed internet.

Three Knots

A retired old sailor decides that just one last time he will put on his captains uniform and head to the docks.

After a couple of drinks, he decides that just one last time he will hire a prostitute for the night.

While engaged in the act, the old sailor says to the prostitute "How am I doing? Not bad for an old guy huh".

The prostitute replied "Well sailor, you are doing three knots. You not hard, your not in, and you are not getting your money back".

Stolen joke from a boating forum.

Radio Call

I put the boat in the water Thursday. I am going to be a support boat for a sailboat race today to help out the boat club. Putting the boat in the water Thursday means I do not have to get up extra early Saturday, and deal with the trailer.

It also means the boat was floating Friday, ready to take out for a quick ride. Which was part of the plan.

And so it happened. I call a friend of mine and tell her to come to the boat club. We will then head off and go to someplace on the Miami River for food and drinks. Arrival will be - of course - by sea.

Thus taking care of many things at once. A boat ride. Food. Some sightseeing. Time together. And so on.

Leaving the place on the river, I turn on the radio. It is set to channel 16. Channel 16 is for distress, urgency, safety, and hailing. Channel 16 is always on in my boat. Most of the time it is just background noise - but sometimes something important happens. Such will be the case tonight.

Off in the distance I can see flashes of light - alerting me that somewhere there was bad weather. It was not too close, as I could not hear the thunder. I could only see flashes of light. As I make my way down the river, a voice comes over channel 16.

It is the US Coast Guard radio watch stander, telling everyone listening that for urgent weather information turn to channel 22a. So I turn to channel 22a. The flashes of light are indeed indicators of bad weather. Wind gusts up to and in excess of 50 mph were reported. All mariners were advised to avoid the weather if possible. The smaller your boat, the more you want to avoid the weather.

No big deal. I had no intention of getting caught in the rain anyway. I was close to the club and if I had to - I would ignore the slow speed zone. There was no boat traffic anyway.

I point out to my friend (who is learning boat stuff) some of the signs that the weather could turn shitty. Other than the flashes of light which seemed to be getting closer, there were other signs too. The wind was picking up. Earlier the wind was still - and now it was blowing. The wind was also cool - which was actually very nice.

I make the decision to go back to the club, and not taking an extended night time cruise.

The radio remained fairly quiet for the next 15 minutes, then the weather information is repeated. This time I do not turn to channel 22a. I am very close to port.

As I am retrieving the small fender I attached to the line I left tied to the mooring buoy, I hear another voice on the VHF radio. The voice sounds somewhat calm, yet not quite right. Something is going on. I do not know what, but something tells me that this call is not ordinary.

I slip the line tied to the mooring buoy to a stern cleat, and bring in the fender I was using as a float. I am now almost all tied up.

There has just been a collision at sea. One boat ran over a flats boat. The voice on the radio is reporting it. I do not know if the person making the call was involved in the collision, but I get the impression that whoever it was simply witnessed the event.

Flats boats sit very low to the water. They are designed to not draw much water. They can get into very shallow areas. To be able to do this, they have very little freeboard - or very little distance from the water to the gunwale.

Knowing this, I instantly get a picture of what probably happened. Something ran clear over the flats boat. This is never good.

I stop tying the boat up for a second. I know that the range of VHF radio is somewhat limited. Since I was hearing another boat (as opposed to a shore station with a tall tower and powerful antenna) this has to be fairly close to where I am. The transmission was crystal clear - so the range was only a couple of miles at the most. Probably less.

More information comes over the radio. One person is dead. One more was pulled from the water. Another boat that out with the flats boat is running a search pattern, looking for more people. It is unclear how many people are involved. The flats boat is upside down and has suffered significant damage.

The US Coast Guard radio watch stander is trying to sort that out. But if one boat with people on it that knew the people on the flats boat (or other boat involved in the collision) were running a search pattern - it suggests that there were others missing.

How the person talking to the Coast Guard was remaining so calm suggests a few things. Whoever was talking was not involved - allowing them to be distanced from the event. They were also probably somewhat experienced boaters.

And here I am. I am trained to run search patterns. I know the search patterns used by the Coast Guard. The boat is in the water, full of fuel. The engine is still running. The event has to be close by, because I can hear the transmissions so clearly. I have already turned the GPS off, so I so not know my exact location when the GPS coordinates for the collision are read over the radio - so I can not really make a good estimation of the distance involved.

But I was lacking a crew. Contacting the base over the radio, identifying who I am, and offering to help could just increase confusion. Rescue units were already on the way. I had a couple of beers at the place on the river. Only 2, and with dinner - and over a good 1.5 hours of time (at least), but still. And I did not know exactly where the event happened at.

I made the decision to turn off the radio, and finish tying the boat up. There was nothing I could do. I would have probably only added confusion to the situation. Bad weather was possibly moving in, and I have an open boat with noplace to hide from lightning in. I did not have a good crew for a SAR mission.

All those factors influenced my decision. I turned off the engine and raised the lower unit out of the water.

I wonder if I made the right call.

Heat Index

Temperature is not everything. There is also this thing called "heat index".

The heat index is a function of actual heat and humidity. The idea is to come up with a "feels like" figure to throw out to the public.

And here is how it works. You take the actual air temperature as felt by the thermometer. Then you factor in the relative humidity. Now using this chart, you can figure out what the heat index is.

Wednesday at around 1 PM it reached at least 94 degrees, with a relative humidity of around 55%. The chart says the heat index was at least 106.

I was outside under a tarp, working on the boat at this time. Out of the direct sun.

My shirt was soaked. It got so bad that holding onto the tools became difficult. I had to get rags to wipe sweat off things once my shirt was no longer working for this chore.

But I am a native. Heat in the summer is not really unheard of for South Florida. It is summer, therefore it will be hot.

Since I was working on the boat, and the boat is ALWAYS stocked with stuff to drink - it was not so bad. There was plenty of drinking water on board (I am never short of 20 oz water bottles) and also Gatorade.

It is critical to remain hydrated. If you get thirsty, you are already in the first stages of dehydration. Water is always good - but you also need something to replace the salt and other stuff you lose by sweating.

If you can prevent dehydration, then the heat is something you can deal with.

It is not like you have a choice down here anyway.

At least there is no reason to own a snow shovel down here. That works for me.

Late To The Punch

You may not have heard this, but Palin quit her job as Governor of Alaska. Not that it really matters to me - I do not live in Alaska.

But the speech she made was just silly. It made little sense to me. She goes on and on about how she fixed the whole state in two years - so it is time to quit. Or something like that.

What amazes me the most is the TV people who were stumped. What the hell is that all about? Here you ass clowns are getting paid the BIG BUCKS to keep up with stuff like this. And you were surprised? You do not know what is going on?

I may be a little late to the punch here - but Ill spell it out for you anyway.

She wants to run in 2012. She thinks she can. In her deluded world, it will all work out.

So why quit? Being Governor of a horseball state is just not working out for her. It was getting in her way. How could she fly around all over the place making speeches and shit if she has to be the Governor of Alaska?

I am not sure she would even win reelection in Alaska. Since she was tapped for the VP slot, she has seemingly spent more time OUT of Alaska than in it. But who knows how voters in the state would have reacted to that.

Face it Alaska - Palin is WAY bigger than your state. She has more important things to do. Only losers stick around in Alaska! Everyone else moves someplace warmer. So she quit. Screw it. She was hired for 4 years, and quit after 2. The pay scale was not enough, the working conditions sucked, and most importantly the job was getting in the way of bigger and better things.

She thinks she can run and win in 2012. I would be surprised if she made it past round 1 of the primaries. And if by some chance the Republican Party has dwindled to only the cranks by 2012, her running all but gurantees Obama is reelected.

But that is why she quit. She feels her state is dragging her down.

I also like how she claims to have "asked her family". Yea - right. I suppose you also asked your family about running for VP? Hey pregnant teenage daughter - how would you like your sex life splashed on the national news? Sounds like fun huh?

Or did you not know that your stance on teen pregnancy would NOT become an issue - seeing as how your own daughter is pregnant. Abstinence only huh? Works great for your family - it must also work great for everyone else.

So no, I do not buy this "I asked my family" crap. You put your own ambitions over your family. Otherwise you would have not accepted the VP bid, nobody outside Alaska would know about the pregnant unwed daughter, and things would have been A LOT easier on said teenage daughter.

Not that who is pregnant is really any of our business. But whatever.

And the media is STILL talking about this issue. Why did she do it?

I told you. End of story. Move onto something else now. Please.

No Rain

Independence Day went over pretty good.

It started out pretty crappy however. I got the boat all hooked up and shit, then I went to the ramp. It is a good ramp in a great spot, but parking is limited. So I planned to get there early.

And I did. But there was no parking.

And there was a cop there. And some parking enforcement asshole. But did either of them bother to say anything to anyone?

Hell no. They watched me pull into the area, get the boat ready to launch, then put it into the water. And tie it off to the dock.

Then I pulled out to park - and there were no spots. At that point, after I had already figured out that there was no parking - the cop says that there is no parking.

Captain Obvious joined the police force.

But I was not in a very jovial mood, so I asked the cop why he did not say anything to me about the parking BEFORE the boat was in the water. Because that would have been a lot more helpful. The cop was also not in a very jovial mood, so he said to me something about it not being his job to count.

I could not resist that setup. I mentioned that they should include counting at some point in police cadet training.

Well it went downhill from there. The cop insisted that I had to leave due to there being no place to park, and I insisted that it would be a lot more helpful if the cop put down the doughnut, got out of the patrol car, and did something productive.

I got to tell a cop to put down the doughnut and do something useful. I always wanted to do that.

The cop repeated that I had to leave, and alluded to being towed, having the boat impounded, and me going to the station for "disturbing the peace" or some such bullshit. I replied that I intended to leave, but first I had to put the boat back on the trailer because someone was not helpful to give me a little heads up before the boat was floating.

Then I went to another boat ramp. Where there was plenty of parking. The second ramp is a County ramp, and they need the money. So they do not care where the hell you park. You can use a marked space, but once they are gone anywhere you are not in the way is OK. I found a space on the grass and all was good. So long as you have $15 cash, the County ramps love you.

From that point the day got better. I went from the ramp to the yacht club to say hi to some people I know. Then I went to a party island to drop anchor and swim around.

More like float around. Swimming requires effort. Floating is a lot more relaxing. All you need is something that floats, rope, and beer. You tie the rope to the thing that floats, then attach the rope to the boat so you do not float away. Then you get in the water, get on the thing that floats, then grab the beer.

My preferred floating thing is a pool toy known as a "Wacky Noodle". I carry two Wacky Noodles on board. I found both of them - they were free.

After that I had to meet up with the crew. The crew consisted of one of my friends, his girlfriend, and three other girls (another friend of mine, one of her friends, and a foreign exchange student from France). It was a pretty good time. Everyone had a good time.

Most amazingly enough, it did not rain. At least not on the water. It rained like hell on land. I got various spy reports confirming this. But on the water there was clear skies and sun.

On the water, I can get really close to the fireworks display. The shock waves from the explosions could be felt through the hull of the boat.

All in all, it was a nice day. I am ready to do it all over again.

Happy Birthday America

The first US flag.

All Signals Are.....Uhhhhh....Maybe?

So the great planned July 4th boat trip is currently on a "maybe" status. The forecast is questionable.

It has pretty much been raining every day. Lots of lightning too - which really is the dangerous thing. I can rig a rain shelter on the boat using tarps and shit, but creating a safe refuge from lightning is another story.

So right now the plan is a go. The idea is to put the boat in the water early, then collect the crew later.

If there is to be afternoon rain storms, Ill find a safe place to hide. Then they can pass by, and I will be able to anchor someplace and watch fireworks.

That is the plan anyway. It remains to be seen how it all pans out.

Brain Clutter

Did you know that the deepest point in the world's oceans is called "Challenger Deep", and that it is named after the HMS Challenger that discovered the general area? The ship's crew did this with a lead line - or a very VERY long rope with a chunk of lead (pb) attached to the end.

Before the underwater survey was done (in the golden age of sail, then the sun never set on the British Empire) it was thought that the open sea bottom was flat and featureless. Nobody had any idea there were mountain ranges, trenches, and other shit.

The HMS Challenger survey was supposed to confirm this belief. Well, it failed its mission and discovered the Mariana Trench (the trench where Challenger Deep is found).

And why do I know this? Who the hell knows. I just do. I try to rot my brain by watching Cartoon Network - but it is clearly not working out too well.

Nautical Code Flag Post

I am thinking of flying these signal flags this weekend when I am out on my boat











Click HERE for the letters each flag stands for.