It is 11:00 PM. Do You Know Where Your Head Is?

So today I get a call from the nice lady at the HR department. She says that some of my paperwork was returned, because of an ID issue. My drivers license and social security card were photocopied and sent off with the paperwork for US Customs Bonding. Now they need my birth certificate, along with my drivers license and social security card.

The fun part is - I have no idea where my birth certificate is. You would think that me being here is proof that I was born, but no. You need a paper saying you were born.

Getting the certificate replaced was way too easy. All I had to do was go to a county office of vital records, and ask for one. I needed (get ready for this) one photo ID (in this case, my drivers license).

Call me crazy, but if all I need to get a birth certificate issued is a drivers license - and they already had a copy of my license - what will the certificate tell them? That I was born? You would think they could tell that from the fact I have a ssn.

I brought everything to the phantom building, and this is where the REAL fun began. I was informed that my physical results were in. My urine contained only approved chemicals. So the nice HR lady asked when I could start. I already explained to her hows this works. I am the one looking for the job. The County is the one offering it. Therefore, I do not have any input here. They tell me when I start, not the other way around.

But the nice lady asked anyway. I told her I could start the very next day. Everything looked ok, but then the evil empire music started and payroll spoke. Payroll supposedly can not process paperwork on any day that is not a Monday. This is not what the boss wants to hear. He wants to hear I will be there today. He has been calling the nice lady at HR daily, wondering where the new warm body he needs is.

The people in payroll said that they can not process my paperwork unless they get an over-ride. But the over-ride lady had already left for the day.

At this point I used my office ninja skills, and snuck into the payroll office. Using my cell phone camera, I captured this image.

At this point, I am on what I am dubbing "sort-of on call". What this means is that if the over-ride is approved, the phone will ring and I get to join the sheep in rush hour traffic for the first time ever (my other real jobs either started way before rush hour started, or had me going in the opposite direction as everyone else). On the other hand, if the over-ride is not approved I will get to sleep in late and watch Spongebob Squarepants. Either way I do have to go back to the airport, I have the US Customs paperwork to re-submit. It is just a matter of if I will have to pay for parking or not.

I have done civil service for the federal government, and for Dade County Public Schools, but I have a feeling that Dade County is going to be the best. I want to work in a department where I can decide that I can only do something one day of each week.