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Wednesday, August 17, 2005

It is 11:00 PM. Do You Know Where Your Head Is?

So today I get a call from the nice lady at the HR department. She says that some of my paperwork was returned, because of an ID issue. My drivers license and social security card were photocopied and sent off with the paperwork for US Customs Bonding. Now they need my birth certificate, along with my drivers license and social security card.

The fun part is - I have no idea where my birth certificate is. You would think that me being here is proof that I was born, but no. You need a paper saying you were born.

Getting the certificate replaced was way too easy. All I had to do was go to a county office of vital records, and ask for one. I needed (get ready for this) one photo ID (in this case, my drivers license).

Call me crazy, but if all I need to get a birth certificate issued is a drivers license - and they already had a copy of my license - what will the certificate tell them? That I was born? You would think they could tell that from the fact I have a ssn.

I brought everything to the phantom building, and this is where the REAL fun began. I was informed that my physical results were in. My urine contained only approved chemicals. So the nice HR lady asked when I could start. I already explained to her hows this works. I am the one looking for the job. The County is the one offering it. Therefore, I do not have any input here. They tell me when I start, not the other way around.

But the nice lady asked anyway. I told her I could start the very next day. Everything looked ok, but then the evil empire music started and payroll spoke. Payroll supposedly can not process paperwork on any day that is not a Monday. This is not what the boss wants to hear. He wants to hear I will be there today. He has been calling the nice lady at HR daily, wondering where the new warm body he needs is.

The people in payroll said that they can not process my paperwork unless they get an over-ride. But the over-ride lady had already left for the day.

At this point I used my office ninja skills, and snuck into the payroll office. Using my cell phone camera, I captured this image.

At this point, I am on what I am dubbing "sort-of on call". What this means is that if the over-ride is approved, the phone will ring and I get to join the sheep in rush hour traffic for the first time ever (my other real jobs either started way before rush hour started, or had me going in the opposite direction as everyone else). On the other hand, if the over-ride is not approved I will get to sleep in late and watch Spongebob Squarepants. Either way I do have to go back to the airport, I have the US Customs paperwork to re-submit. It is just a matter of if I will have to pay for parking or not.

I have done civil service for the federal government, and for Dade County Public Schools, but I have a feeling that Dade County is going to be the best. I want to work in a department where I can decide that I can only do something one day of each week.


Blogger Aginoth said...

Work , it's a four letter word. Unless your Spanish of course in which case it's 8 letters trabajar.

Nice blog, linked to you, come have a look at mine.

Blogger GodlessMom said...

Nice picture! You never know what ridiculous policy the various levels of government will come up with next. Enjoy Spongebob for as long as you can!

Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

You can get a copy of your birth certificate on line. There are many sites. Google birth certificate and it will pop up.

Good luck.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Nobody watched my office ninja link?

Blogger Tan Lucy Pez said...

Well, I tried to watch it. Maybe others did too. Anyway, it just bounces back and forward and I never get to see it. Maybe my firewall? dunno

On the job situation: You are in payroll/personnel hell. It happens. Payroll and Personnel never like each other. As an Accounting Systems Analyst, I once worked with both groups in order to design an "intergrated system" for the two. Each group thought that the other group was stupid. In defense of Payroll, I have to mention that they have an "input" date. It's a hardwired date that the system is designed for.
BUT, the truth is that you can hire someone on any given date. It's just MORE WORK for Payroll. Other truths:
1.Starting on an "off" date will probably delay your first check.
2. The Payroll folks will remember your name forever. Not your fault, but you may suffer.

I love the picture.

Blogger Econo-Girl said...

Bureaucracies can be so funny to observe! Getting a government job is a pretty good idea, though. The stability is nice.

Blogger AP3 said...

Good grief. Silly bureaucracy!

Blogger Fred said...

The link worked fine. A silly commercial came on first, but it's a good one to watch.

Great picture - I'm sure it's not the first time he's been up there.


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