Some Communist Bullshit

So, the cruise is over. I made it back to Miami just in time for HURRICANE HYSTERIA! AGGHHHHH!! RUN!!!! HIDE!!!! The wind is going to blow, and it might rain!!!!

This is some serious communist bullshit here. I have to work tomorrow, but can my lobsterfied ass just lounge around trying to hide from any source of light so the red will go away? Hell no. I have to put up shutters. And find a place for my kayak to hang out. And so on.

Actually, it is a little more serious than that. The power will probably go out - again. What a GREAT FRIGGIN IDEA it was to not bury all the power lines! I am so glad that all the utility lines are above ground on wooden poles - where trees can knock them down and wind can slap them together blowing fuses and transformers. During an actual hurricane if you have a porch not facing the wind you can sit out and watch the green flashes. Each green flash is a transformer signing off. The fun part is guessing which green flash will make your TV turn off.

And then there is the "blue roof" problem. Many people still have blue tarps from last year's hurricanes. And why? Because insurance companies LOVE to deposit your premium checks, but they HATE to write checks. So good luck with your claim! You may get the money - and you may not. But either way, your rates shoot up.

Anyway, here are the fun details. As always, the image is clickable if you want a lager picture with more detail.

And now, back to the CRUISE! The first day was cool. I checked in, got on the ship, went to the cabin, and put away all my crap. Then it was off to the Lido Deck for some chow. On a cruise boat, there is always food somewhere. Just follow the "large" people and they lead you right to it. And holy crap - do people EAT! Its like they have never seen food before. HUGE plates, overflowing with food.

After I had a light snack, I decided to check out the sports deck. This was as high up as I gould get in the bow section of the ship. I hung out there while the boat left the docks.

Next was the LIFEBOAT DRILL! How fun! You get to pretend the boat is sinking. First, you have to run to your stateroom, which is usually ALWAYS on a deck below the one you are on. Thats right - they make you run TOWARDS the direction of the imaginary liquid of death before you can escape to safety.

When you find your stateroom (if you can - some were already tossed at this point barely one hour into the cruise), you have to locate the bulky ass lifejackets, put one on, then go to your muster station. Now these lifejackets are HUGE. And HOT. And about as comfortable as a rat trap sprung on your nuts (nipples if you do not have nuts). After WAY TOO LONG, the boat wistle sounds and you can stop preteding the boat is sinking, and put the lifejacket away.

From that point on you just do whatever you want. You can duty free shop. I picked up some CANADIAN ICE WINE. There are shows. There are pools. There are bars. There are deck chairs where one can get skin cancer. There is a disco. A casino. Or, you can just hang out on an open deck in a chair in the shade and watch the world float by.

And speaking of floating - the water in the Gulf Stream is this amazing blue color. You have to see it. I can only describe it as "gulf stream blue".

That is all for now. More later. IF I have power that is. Stupid hurricane!