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Friday, March 30, 2007

New Stuff

I was thinking there is not enough crap here, so I added more. The terror alert status thing. As you can see, we are at "Ernie" level for all commercial flights and "Bert" level for everything else. The highest alert level is "Elmo". Below "Bert Level" is "Cookie Monster", and then the lowest alert level is "Oscar". Pretty simple huh? I think so.

And that is not all. Seeing as how it is Good Friday and stuff today I figured - why not go to the Daina Beach Marine Flea Market? The flea market needs a new name. You see, it used to be at the Daina Beach Jai-Alai / horse track place. But then Broward voters approved evil Las Vegas style slot machines - Dade County voters PUSSIED OUT and fell for the ad campaigns paid for by SUN CRUZ CASINO BOATS and various religious groups who hate casinos and think that gambling will "ruin the family friendly environment" but they LOVE all the money those evil casinos gave them to make propaganda! Also there is not a "family friendly" environment here. South Beach is very gay and nothing but bars and nightclubs. Not that there is anything wrong with this. People like nightclubs - and the clubs on the beach are among the hottest in the Nation. And bars - well people like to drink! At least on the beach they do. As for the gay part - well when the area was run down and crappy they moved in for cheap. Then they fixed the place up, and got some of the Art Deco buildings restored. So good for them! At least someone did what needed to be done!

But that is off topic. The casino expansion at the horse track place displaced the marine flea market. So now it is at JOE ROBBIE stadium. The bald menace can rename it anything he likes, but it is and will always be named after Joe Robbie - the owner of the Dolphins that had hair and everyone liked. GOT THAT BALDY!!!

This is what an asshole looks like. Notice the ass like head. You can buy up all the crap you want Wayne, but if you must go around renaming things then BUILD THEM YOURSELF without asking for WELFARE from people who do not give a shit about the Dolphins or Marlins or Panthers or whatever. Use your own money to build your own for profit business. But what do I know about that - I am probably some sort of communist. So yea, build your own stadium and name it whatever you want.

In your honor Wayne, brand new Iguana Music.

The flea market is in the parking area of the stadium. The plan is to get there early, before the "good stuff" is sold. If there is any "good stuff" there. These flea markets tend to feature a lot of junk. Plain old junk. You have to sift through the shit to find the good stuff. So I get there early on the first day, do the sifting thing, possibly find stuff, and then go home. Saturday there is usually a lot of people at the thing. I am hoping to beat some of the crowd, unless EVERYONE is going to skip work tomorrow.

Ever notice how everyone is "religious" on religious holidays that are not already paid days off? Funny how that happens. But I have been working with the local public school system - so work is pretty much canceled for people like me for the next week. It is not so bad, and it passes the time till I can find more full time employment I deem to be worthy of my abilities and skills.

Translation - no good offers yet. But if I make it like "I am too good for that crap job anyway" then it makes you feel better. Pint of view is everything.

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Blogger Ed Abbey said...

You are a week off. Good Friday is next week.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Oh poo. Traffic will suck.

Blogger Daisy said...

I sure hope we never get to an Elmo level alert.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Me too. Elmo is creepy in a muppet sort of way. Even creepier than Ernie and his rubber ducky fetish.

Blogger Fuzz said...

I like Gonzo best.

Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

Dude I'd be scared to go to a flea market in Miami. How on earth do you keep the Cubans from fighting or just killing you?

I like the new terror alert signals they make terror seem more pleasant.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

My son just got back from San Diego. He had to deal with Ernie's new terrorist management skills, but was fortunate enough to sit next to "a well-behaved child," which is a rarity these days!
Don't send Wayne to Iceland--it's pretty there. Send him to Greenland. Because as the old song says, Greenland is a terrible place where nothing's ever green.
I try to work paid holidays but my parents tend to be kinda fussy about Easter and Christmas so I'll join them for their yearly festivity. Praise the Lord and pass the mint sauce for the unfortunate sacrificial mutton!

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I'm going to play Blog Appreciation Matchmaker. I think you'd like Normy's blog. Her politics are similar to yours and you're both obsessed with instruments of transportation, yours being boats and hers being classic cars.

Blogger Normy said...

I love flea markets... they're usually worth going to, even if you have to sift through crap. One time I drug home a vintage pedestal ashtray, even though I don't smoke.

Speaking of sports franchises, the Indianapolis Colts are getting a new stadium here, paid for by ::cough:: taxpayer dollars. I love the Colts, don't get me wrong, but yeah... do they really need a new stadium.

Blogger Senor Caiman said...

The Lazy,

It worries me when you don't post I assume you have been stabbed and left by the side of the road.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Fuzz - Gonzo was on The Muppet Show, and most recently given the job of US Attorney General. Unfortunately for the terror alert gag to work all characters must be from the same show, in this case Sesame Street. So Cookie Monster it has to be.

Caiman - The Sesame Street characters do seem to make the alert status more friendly and less scary. I have not been stabbed and left on the side of the road.

CM - perhaps Greenland is a better place for Wayne the bald menace. It would be unfair to the people of Iceland to send Wayne there. Ill go check out the new blog right now.

Normy - I do not pay attention to men playing with balls while wearing spandex tights. It seems a little....uhhh...not straight to me. But these teams generate millions of dollars. Players salaries alone amount to a huge amount of money, let alone money that the owners make. So let them build their own stadiums. They have the cash flow to do this. Players and owners may make make less, but their pay will still be more than most people get.

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