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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Slanderous Sunday - This Is Not A Spam Blog

Well I WAS going to post this very funny You Tube video - but it seems Blogger has decided that this is a SPAM BLOG! What the crap?! So if you want humor, you will just have to make do with my latest Paint creation - which can be viewed AT THIS LINK or by clicking the link directly below the Senor Caiman 2006 blog award.

So I had to do more of this word verification crap to send a request to have someone from Blogger review my site to see if it is a spam blog or not.

By the way, did I mention I am selling penis enlargement pills? Oh yea! It is a new side business. I have 100% natural herbal pills that will increase size and girth. You will be like King Freaking Kong down there - only less foreskin if you have been clipped. Speaking of penis pills a few years ago I knew this chick that has since moved out of Miami (GOOD IDEA). Anyway she made a comment to me about getting tons of spam about penis enlargement pills. This was funny because at the time I was getting spam about breast augmentation. Anyway - I found some humor there.

Now that I can't have the YOU TUBE video posted here because of the word verification shit, I have to just do this instead. Ridicule Blogger. I will start with the "word" verification thing. Since when is "zlbgzjpr" a word? Huh? You tell me? But yet this is the "word" I have to enter to publish this post. They should call it "a series of random letters verification". If someone from Blogger reads this run my name change idea past the technical nerds in the back room smoking pot and watching Star Trek re-runs ok? Tell them to "make it so" or you will shoot them with a plastic phaser.

And also notice my cool pimping THREE COLUMN template! Can't get that from the standard Blogger templates! OH NO! I had to steal it from somewhere else, then modify it so that it had all my crap, Would a spam blog bother to do this? No chance!

So what is a spam blog, and how does Blogger identify them? I decided to find out! This is from Blogger.

"The ease of creating and updating webpages with Blogger has made it particularly prone to a form of behavior known as link spamming. Blogs engaged in this behavior are called spam blogs, and can be recognized by their irrelevant, repetitive, or nonsensical text, along with a large number of links, usually all pointing to a single site."

OK OK OK! So I may do this. I like to think my text is relevant to something, but lets be honest here - it is not. in fact, I submit to you that 90% or more of the internet is irrelevant. When did home internet access become the thing to have? Mid 1990s? It is amazing that humanity had some form of civilization for THOUSANDS OF YEARS before Al Gore created the internet. And it is a good thing Gore did create the internet - if he did not can you name ONE single Republican with the brain power that could have done this? I can't!

Anyway I have a lot of links to www.lazyiguana.org. But what do you expect? See the relation here? We have lazyiguana.blogspot.com and lazyiguana.org and my email address posted above as a jpg so that spam bots can not harvest my lazyiguana.org email address - see a pattern here? I bought the lazyiguana.org domain so that I will have a place to post photos, MP3 files, and whatever else I want to put here. I put my crap on my domain, then link to there from here. I put the crap "over there" so that it can also be here. If this a veiled Bush joke? Probably.

I also have many links to many other blogs, off site video games, and other assorted crap.

I may also engage in keyword stuffing. But only for fun. Most recently I engaged in keyword stuffing by including "Uncle Fester's Meth Recipe" several times in a post. and Google did pick this up! I was, and my still be, the number one result for "Uncle Fester's Meth Recipe". But really - if you are searching for a meth recipe what the hell is wrong with you? Don't you know that shit is illegal? And are you some kind of idiot getting a recipe off the internet where any idiot can post whatever they want? Are you aware that the chemicals used to make street meth are dangerous and CAN explode? So my keyword stuffing is not a big deal. It is not like I am responsible for the White House biography of George Bush to come up as number 1 in a search for "failure". But that is funny too. The Republican internet nerd response to this was to make Michael Moore's site number 2 or 3 for failure. That is the best they can do - attack an overweight film maker who has nothing to do with anything.

But spam blogs can be a problem. For one, they like to steal content from other sites. Like NOBODY ELSE does this! Oh no, 100% of all content on all non-spam sites is 100% original! Nobody ever steals photos, text, ideas, or templates from other sites. They steal this content to make it seem like there is something you are looking for there - but there never is. And a spam blog can post a lot of stuff in a short time, clogging up service for other users. Like a toilet at a hot dog eating contest - it can get clogged!

Blogger does not like Spam Blogs. Nobody does really. So they are doing something to prevent them. Like the "series of random letters verification" thing. Also this blog is no longer listed in Nextblog or added to the "recently published" list.

For the record - I think it is a good idea to do something about spam blogs. Someone will review this site and determine that while it may be irrelevant and appear to engage in keyword stuffing and link spamming - it is not "spam". I am not really trying to sell penis enlargement pills. I do not harvest email addresses if someone sends me hate mail.

I expect to be able to post the You Tube video soon.

Labels: , , , , , ,

22 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

The Lazy,

Thanks for the song. Issue: I am playing the song by linking to your blog. I don't know any other way to do this. Do you have any suggestions?

I'd love to have a giant penis but I'm scared to take drugs. What if my nose started to get really big. Those girls on the infomercials certainly like large penises.

You-tube is going to collaspe under the lawsuits.

12:40  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Caiman - I can give you the direct link to the website I got the MP3 from. It is a local radio talk show site. But the file is small and I have a TON of bandwidth so you do not have to do anything.

13:59  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know if I would buy penis enlargement pills from the Lazy Iguana. Maybe the Perky Iguana or the Energetic Iguana but Lazy Iguana? It just doesn't scream "Manly Prowess" to me. (Not to impune your personal um....manliness) Your spam career will be short lived.

15:37  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Anonymous. Iguanas have HUGE tails. Their tails can account for 3/4 of their total length.

Male iguanas with a long tail can be lazy, because the lady iguanas are attracted to the massive tail.

My spam career will never die.

16:44  
Blogger Jim said...

hey Lazy Ig

i have been having an on line romance with this blonde from california

Now she is coming down to meet me in India

I am nervous
she is a widow a year older than me
she has seen more men than i have seen girls

wat worries me is the size of my penis
it is small by indian standards too
and she is an american

i read somewhere the american penis is an inch or two bigger than in indian penis

do your penis enlargement pills cost a bomb?

we indians besides having small dicks are poor too

16:54  
Blogger Cie Cheesemeister said...

Oh you godforsaken backass network connection! I just posted the coolest comment and it disappeared because I lost connectivity. Let me try to recreate it from my fried brain cells.
This is the serious part:
Jim, dick size is not that important. The important thing is how you act. If you act like a dick, you won't fare very well with this lady. If you act like a gentleman, and the two of you really have a connection, you'll be fine. Seriously!
Now I get silly:
If you are dating a porn star, however, you need to buy up Iguana's entire supply of penis enlargement pills. You then need to purchase a genuine Swedish made penis pump. I do wonder why the Swedes are always manufacturing these things. I also wonder if Abba is behind it, since they pretty well own Sweden.
If Lazy Iguana and Abba were to form a coalition? Wow, what a super-power! They would be making a killing from all the men coming to them to get larger endowments because of their great male enhancement products.
BTW I think old Smilin' Horny Bob is funny as hell but I find those stupid Maxoderm or Vasoderm or whatever the hell it is ads offensive, with all the foolish middle-aged coots messing around with gold digging skanks young enough to be their daughter. I'm just sayin'.

17:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Iguana,
I find your suggestion that the content at The Crappy Times is not 100% original completely offensive! We at The Crappy Times would never do anything sneaky, underhanded, libelous, or slanderous!
But thank you for mentioning the toilet at the hot dog eating contest. I'll be sending one of our reporters over to check that out right away.
Sincerely,
Dirty Dan
Publisher, The Crappy Times
http://thecrappytimes.blogspot.com

17:48  
Blogger Lila said...

Nice job with the Bill of Rights, you SPAM BLOGGER, you! That's really funny... i can't believe they thought your blog was a spam enterprise.

Keyword stuffing... great concept. I'll have to play with that sometime.

19:49  
Blogger Dave said...

The Lazy,

Yhanks for the bandwith. I owe you one.

20:18  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Jim - is this "lady" named Frank? From the looks of your icon photo "her" name is either Frsnk or Tom or something.

CM - you have some good ideas. The chick in ABBA used to be hot. Maybe she still has hot friends or a hot younger sister or something? Or maybe she knows some hot associate of the Queen of Sweden! I would be able to borrow the Royal Yacht and host out of control parties of epic and legendary proportions! Ill invite the "girls gone wild" people, stock a bunch of alcohol, and wear my Captain's silk bathrobe.

Dirty Dan - I am glad you want to steal my "clogged up as much as a toilet at a hot dog eating contest". The whole version is "clogged up worse then the toilets at a stadium on free beer and chili night".

AP3 - I impressed myself with the Bill Of Rights creation. I just started and ended up with the finished result.

20:39  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say, so I'll just say, I hope you get this sorted out soon, so that we don't have to lay awake at night worrying

21:35  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

What, me worry?

Come into the light....all are welcome....

22:51  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shucks u r only 33 Ig
i tot u was older

u gott a lott to learn from me
i might even come to florida to teach u

22:24  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Jim, if you are going to come to Miami I suggest you stay on South Beach. You will meet many friends.

Or just skip Miami and go to Key West. You can wear your assless leather pants there and meet even more friends.

23:04  
Blogger Cie Cheesemeister said...

Jim,
Step away from the Iguana. I am not responsible for the damage that may be inflicted on you should you fail to heed my warning.

09:42  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

the background is wavy gravy, not iguina

17:42  
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