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Thursday, May 31, 2007

Traffic Lawyers, BBQ For The Boat, BEER REVIEW!!!

I hired the cheese head today. It cost me $80. The last cheese head was $100 and that was YEARS ago. In the mid 90s. I got pulled over for preventing the police from getting the guy they were after. It seems that I was just driving along in a commercial van, minding my own business. It was raining, and the cops were trying to get some guy for something. But my van got in the way. The cop who pulled my over was SUPER pissed. And it was raining, so his hat got wet. I got a ticket for "speeding" or something. Anyway, I gave some cheese head a Franklin and was found to be not guilty.

The cop was REALLY pissed. He had to get his hat wet. Cops HATE to get their hats wet. You have to do something really horrible to get pulled over in the rain. I was afraid I was going to get clubbed and left for dead on the side of the road. But all I got was a ticket.

It seems that traffic lawyers have gone down in price. If these cheese heads do not produce results, I will collect the stuff I find in the three cat litter boxes for a month and dump it in their lobby. The gamble is court fees. If there are court fees then it would have been cheaper to pay for the traffic school scam and then get the 18% discount on the ticket. If there are no court fees, then the lawyer is cheaper. Either way I still think West Miami blows. If you live in Miami-Dade County, add West Miami to your list of places to avoid.

I got a pretty good deal at West Marine today. Normally West Marine has high prices on crap. But there are a lot of West Marine stores so people go there because they are lazy. I can get cheaper stuff from other places - but I have to drive further.

Anyway they had a bunch of crap on clearance. Among the things was a Force 10 extra large stainless steel BBQ grill. The clearance price was $165 or something, but I got another discount on top of that because of my affiliations with the US Coast Guard Auxiliary. So I got the thing for $70 with tax. Online I found a Force 10 large stainless steel BBQ for $200.

I was looking at a better grill for the boat. And I guess I found one. This is a really nice one.

18,000 BTUs and 225 square inches of cooking surface. 100% marine grade stainless steel. It uses 1 pound propane cylinders, or it can be hooked up to a LP gas system. All I need now are two rail mount things so I can mount the grill on the bow rail. Nice.

BEER REVIEW! It has been a long time since I did a beer review. Too long. So here we go! Dogfish Head 120 Minute IPA. This is one serious beer. 20% alcohol by volume. Yes, 20%. It is like drinking 12 ounces of strong wine. During the boil, they continuously add hops for a FULL 120 minutes. Dogfish Head Brewery invented a method to continuously add hops, as opposed to throwing them in at time intervals. Anyway after the boil the stuff is fermented for a full month, and each day the beer is dry hopped. Dry hopping is when you toss hops into the fermenting beer. This gives the beer a very strong hops aroma.

When it is all over, you have one ass kicking beer. It is NOT for everybody. It is very strong and very VERY hoppy. Almost too hoppy. And I like hops! The stuff is expensive. I had to fork over $10 for a single 12 ounce bottle. And that was NOT at a bar - it was at a supermarket.

The beer is malty sweet (it needs a lot of malt to get to that 20% abv) and hoppy bitter both at the same time. I suppose it is balanced for such a malty strong beer. You have to REALLY like hops for this one. I would imagine that most beer drinkers will not like it. I will probably not buy another bottle, unless I am going to share it.

And now to clarify something. THIS is a dolphin.

They are also called "Mahi-Mahi" and "Dorados". But around here they are simply "dolphin". They are prized game fish. First off, they are good. A dolphin catch is always welcome on a fishing boat. And these fish are fast swimmers. They have been clocked at 50 mph. They fight hard. The "fish finder" is really just a sonar. It can tell you how deep the water is, and can also pick up some bottom detail. If the bottom hard? Soft? Rocky? Smooth? The fish finder can tell you. It will also see fish that are under the boat - if there are any fish there. My sonar has never found shit for me.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, this information about the mahi mahi conflicts with other information and what not. I was told they were not "dolphins" because Red Lobster told me. They didn't want us to think we were eating dolphin. Ok, my brain is fried. Just half way done moving, and stopped for the night.

I hope to heck you get off of having to pay that ticket, serves them right. donut munchers!

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

We finally passed the 600 day mark. Can't wait until zero.

Blogger Daisy said...

The dolphin in the first picture looks mean. Maybe because he knows he is going to get eaten.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

ba doozie,

I told you, don't you remember me on the phone with Mr Coffee? (WIKIPEDIA THIS!!) Then I told the waitress, and the neighboring table and anyone in the bar that would listen.

They have been clocked at 50 knots, aka 57 mph. They also have scales (kosher) and are in the dolphin family but are not mammals.

Don't you feel enlightened now?

as for The C@im@n, he was found out. I hope he knows you can google search a blog and look at the cached pages on google. Unless you go to google and ask that the bots don't pick up his URL.

I'm just full of i...nformation today.

Anonymous Caiman said...

The Lazy,

The male dolphin is very handsome. I like that grill idea. I don't grill to often because if someone disrespects my cookin I stab them.

One time I had some NY Jamaicans put a deposit on one of my condos for 5k and I never heard from them again, weird, so I bought an ultra suede coat with the money.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ba Doozie - places started to call the fish by their pacific / Hawaii name because people were freaking out in places like Red Lobster because they thought Flipper was on the menu. But if Flipper tastes good Ill take a rack of bottle nose dolphin ribs.

Ed - the countdown timer is depressing. The number of days left is still too high.

Daisy - Dolphin fight hard and get your boat all bloody.

Emma - if you have a spy report about C@im@n, you should email me. My secret email address is posted in such a way that the spam bots can not harvest it. I created a jpeg of my email address. Pretty slick huh?

Caiman - whats up man? Some changes going on huh? The boat stainless steel propane grill is the greatest boat accessory one can ever get.

Blogger Normy said...

Cops around here have little plastic rain covers for their Smokey hats.

That would be really cool having a BBQ grill on a boat... we always just used a camp stove.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Normy - the boat grill is really cool. The one I have will mount to the bow rail.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I was pretty sure this was the kind of dolphin you were talking about. You don't seem quite the baby-seal-clubbing-porpoise-canning type to me.


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