Shark Mystery And Stuff

It seems researchers at the Norfolk VA aquarium are baffled. They can not seem to figure out how Tidbit the black tip reef shark got pregnant. Really. They are totally clueless on this one.

I have my ideas how this happened. And you would think that a fish biologist would be able to connect the dots. But apparently those fish biologists do not get a lot of action. Even less than I get it seems. I mean, the concept of how something gets knocked up is a mystery to them? Wow. Good thing I did not study fish biology in college after all! I did almost go down that lonely action free road. But the whole biology thing with the memorization and then the math involved with chemistry and all - too much. And I was a lot like electricity back then, always looking for the path of least resistance.

Anyway, I could draw a diagram for the fish biologist guys (insert tab A into slot B) but I would not want to depress them. I think sharks reproduce in a similar manner. But I am no fish biologist.

In other news - I HATE CAULKING! It sucks. First off, it is impossible to work with caulk without getting it all over the place.

The boat bilge pumps are mounted on a fiberglass plate which is then glued in place using something that can be pulled up. Caulk is the perfect thing to use for this application.

So I hunt for the darn caulk gun and of course I can not find it. But they are cheap, so I just buy one for $3. I cut the tip off a tube of this silicone based "wet or dry" stuff that I figure will work fine. I load the tube in the gun.

Now there is the matter of how to get the shit out of the tube. I squeezed the handle as hard as I could - and nothing. There was a small plug of hardened stuff in the tip. No matter how hard I would squeeze, it was not happening.

So I face the gun up (the tube is now pointed at the sky) and place the handle on a concrete block. I stepped on the trigger. The trigger was pushed down, but nothing came out (it was oozing out the back of the tube at this point, without me realizing it). So I release the pressure and step down again.

And it was like Mount Vesuvius, only in Florida and there was more caulk and less lava. The shit explodes out of the tube. Caulk shot a good 4 feet in the air. The shit got everywhere.

But after that it was easy to pump the caulk out of the tube. So I caulk up one fiberglass plate, and stick it in the bilge. No problem.

This is going good, so I caulk up the second plate. But the starboard bilge has all the wires and steering controls and shit in it. So the bilge access is not as easy as the other side. I stick the plate in there and then drop it. It goes SPLAT. There is much cursing at this point. I pull the plate back out, goop it back up, and put it back in there. I get it in place - but then realize the electrical wires for the pumps are now under the plate. So I pull it up again, get the wires out from under the plate, use my hand to push all the caulk that is now everywhere into a pile, and plop the pump plate back down.

Now my hand is covered in waterproof caulk that will NOT wash off. So I throw the caulk gun on the ground in disgust, and walk off to find something to dissolve the caulk on me. Orange TKO did it. I only got a little caulk on the doorknob and bathroom fixtures in the process.

The next day I go out to check that everything was OK. It seems to be. I managed to not glue the float switches down or up or whatever. At least I think so. Who knows. I do not know if I give a crap anymore. The good part is that the mess is in the bilge where I never have to look at it. Out of sight, out of mind!

But I saw the caulk gun on the ground. So I figure I will remove the tube and put the thing away where I can find it again if I ever need it.

But the plunger thing will not back out! No matter how hard I pull. There is more cursing. I think I made up some new foul words. The neighbors must love me - but hey nobody ever accused a sailor of using proper words!

I placed the pull handle of the plunger thing on a wooden fence, pressed down the release tab, and put my weight into it. No dice.

Now it comes to my attention that maybe there is some gunk preventing the plunger from backing out. So I twist the plunger around to break loose anything that was holding it in place. Then I put the thing on the fence again.

This time I made progress. The plunger was backing out. Slowly. But I keep pulling and the plunger keeps backing out.

But remember how I had to step on the trigger to get the shit flowing in the first place? Well this extreme pressure caused some caulk to leak out the BACK of the tube, behind the plunger. So there is this clump of semi-hardened crap in the gun. And of course, as the plunger backs out it gets everywhere. Again.

I get the tube out, but now I have caulk on my hands again. Using the hose and my fingers I get the remaining shit out of the gun.

I throw the caulk gun down in disgust (again). The plug of caulk removed from the thing is in the yard, where it will harden and then I can run it over with the mower.

What a mess! Oh yea I also stepped in caulk and got it on my shoe. It is on the wooden fence. It is on the concrete block. I think some is in orbit. It is messy shit that I do not want to mess with for a long time.