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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The Waiting Game Begins

I love job interview day. You get to get up at a normal hour and put on a suit and then drive somewhere and get stuck in the normal morning rush hour traffic with other normal people going to normal jobs. And you fit in with all the normal people. If anyone looks at you they think "hey here is this guy going to work! Just like me! Only his suit is better than mine".

Usually if I am in morning rush hour traffic I do not fit in. Not in the slightest. Because while all the scary normal people are heading off to work, I am going home. So I am driving against the flow of traffic. And while everyone else is in business attire I am wearing whatever I was wearing when I left the house the day before at 9 or 10 PM. Sometimes later. And while everyone else is drinking coffee and eating breakfast, I want a beer and dinner. In no way what so ever is this "fitting in".

So today was cool. I got to fit in. For once. EVERYONE just wants to fit in.

Oh yea! I almost forgot about my favorite way to piss people off in morning rush hour traffic! I loved doing this at the last "normal" job when I worked mostly when the sun was up but had weekdays off.

At least once a month I would use the boat. It was so much fun to hitch the boat up at 7 AM and saunter off into morning work traffic. All the people stressed out because they had to go to work, and here I am, some asshole towing a boat. Clearly NOT going to work. I would even load up fishing poles in the rod holders even if I was not going to go fishing. Just to rub it in. Am I in a hurry? NOPE! Not at all. I have a boat in tow. I know the ramps are not going to have anyone at them. Oh those were the days! Oh how the people hated me.

MENTAL NOTE TO MYSELF! Remember to get a bumper sticker for the boat that says "keep working, people on welfare and unemployment depend on you". That would so rule. I might even get shot at.

What was I saying again? OH YEA! Job interview day. I think I did OK. There were not many people there to be interviewed, so hey at least I made the short list. This is positive. I think I gave good answers - so that is positive. A positive times a positive equals another positive. There are three positives right there!

So now, I wait. And watch the minute hand on the clock ever so slowly tick by. I marvel at just how long it takes for the hour hand to go around once. And I keep the phone close by, waiting for it to make some manner of noise. Tick....tick....tick.....tick....CHIGGER....tick....mite....bedbug....

It seems I have parasites. 4 ticks, a chigger, another tick, a mite, and a bedbug. How about that? Good thing I have pet flea shampoo handy.

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Blogger Ems said...

Oh, good luck Lazy. When do you hear back?

And you have bedbugs? I don't think I have ever seen one. Ticks are just plain old gross. We get a lot of brown recluse here...and wolf spiders...and let's not forget our best friends, the possum. Those things are gross, especially really bloody and flat on the road.

Hey, did you know that Adam Sandlers beer song is available on project playlist?

Blogger Normy said...

Good luck with the job deal... hope they call you. That's one of the worst things, waiting to hear about a job you really would like to get. When I drive to work, it's 5:30 AM, so there aren't too many normal people in suits. Just construction workers and other fellow blue collars. At least the traffic isn't too bad.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Ems - I hear back when I hear back I suppose. Rocking the boat disturbs the stillness of the pond. I do not really have bedbugs. I would torch the mattress and sleep on the couch if this ever happened.

NORMY! Welcome back to the blog world. I find it is a good place to keep my wits sharp, while the world spins away on its axis. I used to work a 4 AM - Noon shift. It sucked at first, but after a week I was used to it and it was not so bad. I never really had any traffic. And I could get a lot of things done.


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