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Saturday, November 24, 2007

Mystery Package

So today I get up, and go outside. And on the doorstep is a mystery package. From somewhere. And inside this box is a crazy assortment of stuff.

But first - MOVIE REVIEW. Been a long time without one.

Coffee And Cigarettes - a movie about conversations held over coffee and cigarettes. The conversations are all unrelated - but some common themes keep popping up. This is an independent film from a foreign director, but the dialog is in English. Except for a few words in French for one conversation. Bill Murray and two members of the Wu Tang Clan are also in the movie.

Night On Earth - this movie is from the same guy that did Coffee And Cigarettes. It is 5 short stories which take place in different cities at the same time. The 5 cities are LA, New York, Paris, Rome, and Helsinki. All the stories take place in a taxi cab. The LA story is about a young chick cab driver who has her life all planned out. The New York story is about a cab driver from East Germany trying to assimilate to American life, and a black guy who can not get any other driver to take him to Brooklyn at night. The Paris story is about a blind chick getting a ride home, the Rome story is great - it is a taxi cab confessional. The cab driver has some sins to confess. The Helsinki story is about three guys who are drunk and call a cab. One of the three men is having a really bad day.

Both movies are interesting, and both are similar. They are worth watching. Turn the subtitles on for Night On Earth after the LA and New York stories are over. The Paris story is in French, the Rome story is in Italian, and the Helsinki story is in Finnish or Swedish (both languages are spoken in Finland, the Country has two official languages).

Now back to the box! And just what kind of stuff is in the box? Strange things. This is the inventory of the entire box.

One Santa hat. Just in time. I did not already have one.
Two packages of Mentos - strawberry and green apple flavor.
A single dose packet of Imodium Advanced anti-green apple splatters medicine, to go with the green apple Mentos.
A packet of Alka-Seltzer, which may come in handy. That is some good stuff.
A little tiny screwdriver. Phillips head. Good for those screws in eye glasses.
Some crazy pencil sharpening / wind up flower device.
One Ring Pop. Strawberry. I did not know they still made those things.
Two cat theme refrigerator magnets.
A note pad with a shopping list already written on it.
Two Viagra (sildenafil citrate) pens.
A LED light with a clip that is in need of repair
the broken part of the clip that is in need of some super glue
Color Bright staples. They appear to be blue.
A motivational button that encourages people to reach for a rainbow today. Then taste it. Skittles - taste the rainbow (PS Skittles company now owes me $500 for the advertising plug)
A package of rattlesnake eggs. But there are no rattlesnake eggs in the package.
One garnet in the rough. Really cool. I think it was mined from Idaho.
Some tissue paper, apparently added for packaging material.

Pretty cool assortment of stuff. As part of the junk exchange, I already sent off something. The mystery item I send off should be arriving in the next day or two or three. Hard to tell with snail mail.

I may attempt to brave a trip to a store today. Just to see the craziness first hand. I did not want to go anywhere near a store Friday. I was going to go to Shark Valley for a bike ride - but then I got lazy and forgot about that idea. I would have to install the bike carrier, load on the bike, drive all the way out to Shark Valley, pay to get in as my annual pass is expired, unload the bike, ride the 15 mile loop, load the bike back up, drive all the way home, unload the bike, then remove the bike carrier. LOTS of work there. Maybe I will go Sunday. If I can motivate myself. It warmed up so I am thinking that the insects that fly around and feed on blood might be active. Not good. Shark Valley is best experienced when the flying insects are not around.

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Blogger Cheesemeister said...

I went to the store the night before thanksgiving. It wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Still, I was in there for an hour and a half. That's way too long. The checkout guy asked if I'd found everything I needed. I said "at this point if I haven't I don't even care." I loathe being around crowds of people. And I don't particularly like shopping. Maybe I'll put one of the exciting recipes I tried on my boring blog. I'm glad I'm not having that kind of writers' block on my creative writing. The first draft of the second book is almost done! Of course then I have to promote it too. There is a downside to everything.
People who ask if the glass is half empty or half full never ask what it is half empty or full of. It could be full of Night Train. Or urine. Would anyone really want to drink either of those?

Blogger TLP said...

I'm not going anywhere near any store today, or tomorrow. I didn't go yesterday either. Maybe on Monday I'll brave the stores.

Great package! Good imagination used by whoever sent it.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

glad you got the package, hope you can use all of the items to the best of your abilities. WE could use a picture of you with the santa hat on? The box you sent arrived, and my friend collected it from the doorstep cause we are not at home right now. so I am looking forward to getting it

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

I knew it was from Doozie right away.

I would like to send you the remainder of this Sierra Nevada Pale Ale I bought and tried today. I'm sorry, Ig, but I did not care for that. There was an after taste that made me wonder when I had actually licked grass, which would be how I would know what grass tasted like? I had to run out just now and buy some 1554 Black Ale. I really wanted some 2 Below.

Blogger M@ said...

Bill Motherfucking Murray knows his hip-hop!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

CM - I have noticed that NOBODY says their gas tank is 1/2 full. No matter how optimistic you are, your fuel tank is always 1/2 empty. Or 1/4 empty. But you are also correct. Nobody ever says what the glass is 1/2 full of! If it is piss, I would just dump it in the back yard and then burn the glass.

TLP - I had 2 glasses of red French Wine and 2 Sam Adams beers, and then ventured into a Bed, Bath, and Beyond. I like the Beyond section best.

QZ - I can not find my Sony digital camera, and the other camera quit working. But I want to buy an older but still in production digital camera that is waterproof to 33 feet. I need that for the boat. Ill post or email you a Santa had photo.

Scarlet - it is possible your Sierra Nevada was bad. Doozie can give you my address, or you can email me and I can email you. Just send one bottle, I do not need all of them. I can then tell you if the stuff is good or bad. The Pale Ale has a very pronounced hops flavor. You really have to like hops to drink that stuff. I happen to really like it. A beer exchange with you would be a lot of fun.

M@ - so you saw Coffee And Cigarettes huh? Bill motherfuckin Murray. That was the BEST segment on the movie. Too bad Old Dirty Bastard could not be there.


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