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Friday, July 18, 2008

Runn Oft

It seems it is that time of the year again.

The time I am FORCED to haul off to the other side of Florida and spend a week in a beach condo. Yea I know - sounds horrible. The place is right on the beach. Well actually about 100 - 125 yards from the beach. I have never measured the distance. There is also a large pool and a pool bar and shit. The condo itself has a full kitchen. It is stocked with plates and cooking stuff and so on. You just check in, lug all your shit up the stairs, and put it away.

Of course I devised a way to DEFEAT the evil stairs. The stairs used to be the bane of the vacation. See the resort seems to ignore the ADA. There are no elevators. Only stairs. Cant get up the stairs? TOO BAD!

So anyway you had to lug all your crap up the stairs. The beer, your clothes, and whatever food you decided to get.

And then there is all the other stuff. This is sort of a family vacation thing. My dad brings a lot of shit. Too much really. I can jug my crap up in two trips. One trip for the clothes and 1/2 of the beer, then another trip for the other 1/2 of the beer.

But old people like to bring a lot of things. PILES of things. At least two coolers. Plus enough clothes for a month per person. Plus who knows what else.

Ever see older people at the airport lugging enough luggage for the Saudi Royal Family? You ask them where they are going and they say "we are going to (someplace only 2 hours by air away) for three days". Three days huh? So you have two LARGE bags per day?? Are you planning to use all that shit?

Anyway chances are I am related to those people. And yes, somehow they do manage to use all that shit.

So.....I invented a STUFF ELEVATOR! It consists of two straps, a metal tube bent to an L shape, a pulley, some rope, and a clip. Here is how it works!

When I get to the place I go up the stairs with the items. The metal tube gets strapped to a concrete beam and the pulley is hung from it. Then I loop the rope through the pulley. On each end of the rope is a clip.

At the ground there is now a rope with a clip attached to a pulley at the top of the stairs. Then someone at the ground level takes a large canvas bag, stuffs it full of shit, and clips the handles to the rope. I haul it up.

Now this is where the device is PURE GENIUS. The pipe can pivot in the straps. It will not fall, but I can pivot it 90 degrees. So once I haul up a bag of shit I can pivot the pipe and the shit moves over the railing! Then I can plot it down.

After the shit is hauled up the stairs the stuff is then moved from the hallway to the condo.

And then the stuff elevator is taken apart and stashed somewhere.

Of course I am bringing the boat. I was working most of the day getting it all ready. I had to remove the floor boxes to get to the bilge so I could check the through hull fittings. They all look fine. No problems. Then I had to put the boxes back and replace the bolts that attach the box lids to the hinges. And then there was the installation of the two additional courtesy lights I was putting off. But it is ready now.

I just hope someone does not say "hey a boat! Someone will be here to hook it up to a truck and haul it off to the other side of the state! I think I will pack it full of shit".

There is a wet slip for the boat. This is the best part. And why I had to check the fittings below the waterline. The boat will go to live at the marina where it can hang out with a lot of other boats. And whenever I want to use the boat it is already in the water! Floating. No trailer needed! No boat ramp. It is going to rule.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Lily Strange said...

I have always been prone to overpacking. My vitamin and herbal supplements alone take up a small suitcase, I think! This is what I get for being someone with health problems who can't stand the side effects of modern medications. This stuff works well, but is bulky as hell!

06:37  
Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I do not count medicine / chemicals / vitamins as "luggage". If you need that stuff then you need it! No question.

But do you need that ironing board? Are you really going to iron anything? On vacation? Who gives a shit if something is wrinkled. You are on vacation!!

19:43  

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