Still Here!

I am still here. Contrary to internet rumors I was not carried off into the everglades by a pack of alligators or anything.

Internet rumors. Never believe them. Unless they are funny. Like the internet rumor about Richard Gere and a gerbil.

Anyhow lets get away from that. The guy falls asleep in a pet store and a rodent gets confused and thinks "that" was a habitrail. Could happen to anyone right???

Uhhhh....not.....really? We can only hope the gerbil was at least declawed. I suppose. Or do you want the claws??? I don't really know much about these things.

The tour guide think is going along pretty good. Everyone is having a nice time. As it turns out, the out of town people want to go to different tourist spots and drink. Go figure! So I took em to the beach, and while they baked in the sun I hid from the sun at a bar. And so on. Really this guide thing is pretty easy. You just make shit up!

Really. Make shit up. Like anyone is going to know you are making shit up. Like for instance, Star Island. A few famous people live there. But which houses are owned by famous people and which homes are just owned by anonymous VERY rich people? Got me. I don't care where Rosie O'Donnel lives, or where Madonna used to live. I just assume that Rosie lives at the home with the giant "Slow speed manatee zone year round" sign.

I mean the sign must be there for a reason right? So why put the sign there as opposed to somewhere else?

But bad manatee jokes aside, it is going along well.

I also discovered something. The Doral Golf Resort. This is in Doral. Which is in Miami. Not too far away from home really. The golf course is famous or something. The Blue Monster? Something like that. It is some sort of a big deal on the PGA tour. Which I could give a shit less about.

Golf is a waste of land.

But there was some manner of trade show there. And the people had to go to it. That was the whole point in the trip down here really. So they are staying at the golf resort thing. And it is a pretty nice place. The drinks are expensive however. But the resort is cool enough. If you actually give a crap about golf it is probably much cooler.

Everyone leaves tomorrow. Then it will be back to normal.