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Thursday, August 14, 2008

He Wants The French To Win

Seriously, why does President Bush WANT the US team to not win? Does he hate America that much?

See it is that one time every 4 years where I am an expert in all things beach volleyball. The rest of the time - I really do not care much about it.

In two more years Ill pretend to be an expert in curling. Like everyone else. One guy slides a large rock down the ice, someone else sweeps in front of it. Then someone wins. I do not get it now but just wait for two winters from now! Ill be a friggin expert. Even though I have never actually done it before.

But back to why Bush wants the beach volleyball team to lose.

See there is a long standing tradition in womens beach volleyball that team members will slap each other on the ass after they score a point or make a good play. It seems to being good luck.

HEY! Don't knock it! Team USA won the last games. And then there was the traditional celebrating the win by hugging and rolling around in the fake beach sand. Getting all sandy and whatnot.



Plotting the teams defeat huh? Or plotting something! But what??? Chances are whatever is being plotted is probably not a good plan. You know, not thought out fully.

Also - imagine for a second that it is not Bush in the photo but none other than Bill Clinton. I am sure there would be jokes a plenty. Why I would probably have a few of my own.

But Bill would have taken action to ensure another gold for Team USA.

Getting back to the traditional good luck thing. It is good luck for players on the team to give each other a little friendly harmless not erotic in any way sportsman like slap on the ass. No big deal. We are all adults here. It is for the team!!! GO USA!!! And so on.

So when presented with a chance to bring good luck to the team, what happens????



The backhand? And not even anywhere near the good luck spot! Here is this Olympic athlete who makes the offer of a good luck ass slap and what does the President do? Give her the backhand on the back.

Not me! I would have played that off differently. What the hell W, you already gave Chancellor Merkel of Germany a very VERY creepy back rub. At a G-8 summit. Have you already forgotten that one? Where was "Presidential restraint" then? Where was "trying to act dignified" then? OUT THE WINDOW! So you make an ass out of the entire nation by giving the representative from Germany a very creepy back rub. And then she reacts by making a face that seems to say "Oh my God he is TOUCHING ME!!! EWWWWW!!!" while she wiggles away, arches her shoulders, and throws her arms up.

Yea....THAT is OK. That is perfectly fine.

But you can't give a good luck ass slap for team USA at the Olympics. OH NO!

Now if I were President there would have been some ass slapping going on. It is only polite. I mean she presented the ass for the Presidential slap. You can't be rude after all. And it is for the gold! That is some not really that important crap there!

And what could anyone do? Not a damn thing. Let the news say what it wanted to. What would I care? I would still be rich. So what do I care what people say?

I would not.

Also, in this fictional case I would be ending my second term. Can't run again! No more reelection worries. I would just be coasting, trying not to blow up the universe before the next guy gets the job.

Clearly Bush wants the American team to lose and the French team to win. Or something like that.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Daisy said...

I agree, that little backhand to the back was weird!

08:14  
Blogger Lily Strange said...

The chancellor does look pretty creeped out. How funny! Can't say as I blame her. She must be wondering if Mrs. Bush is both blind and insane.

02:41  

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