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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Lets Play Sniff The Bullshit!!

It has come to my attention that A WHOLE LOT of bullshit has been spread this election cycle.

MUCH more than the normal amount. I should not be surprised, but I am. I did not know there were enough bulls in the world to produce this amount of shit.

People must have been stockpiling it for a few years or something.

So here is how you can sort it all out. Lets say you get some email that Obama is a (fill in the blank) or that Obama (blank).

For example, Obama traveled at age 20 on a foreign passport, and visited North Korea.

Here is what you can do! Go to Fox News. On the main page, there is a "search" box. Search the Fox News website for "Obama passport" and see what comes up!

Whats that?!?!?! NOTHING about his travels to North Korea on a foreign passport? Really?!?!?!

At this point you can only draw two conclusions.

1. The story someone emailed you is BULLSHIT

2. Fox News is part of the vast liberal media cover up.

By the way, if you conclude option 2 then you should stop watching Fox, because it is part of that darn liberal media. By not watching Fox anymore it will go off the air, and the average IQ of the nation will go up by 10 points.

If you conclude option 1 - then Fox is not part of the liberal media cover up. The story is just bullshit. Not true. False. Made up.

The election is less than 2 weeks away. And that is GREAT! I am so done with it at this point.

And by the way - to all the desperate McCain supporters. If you are going to make up a story and carve a B into your face, remember that if you look in a mirror to do the self mutilation, mirror images are REVERSED! So if you are looking in the mirror, the B should appear backwards. If it appears correct in the mirror you carved it on your face backwards.

Got it??? GOOD! Remember mirror images are reversed, or get someone else in on the attempt to spread more bullshit to do the carving for you.

Also - remember your story. Do not get little details confused. And remember that if your story is going to involve an ATM - those things have video cameras. Make sure you actually go there.

The Lazy One recommends saving all carving for Halloween pumpkins. Leave your face alone. You are just going to cause medical insurance premiums to go up. The Lazy One also recommends that you just have a beer and forget about elaborate plans. It is a whole lot of effort after all.

As for me - I just want to fish more. The more time spent fishing, the better. There is no TV when you are fishing. And trust me - that is a GOOD thing.

Sunday Ill be out on the water. There is a series of sailboat races at the boat club. I get to be a safety boat. After it is over the boat club is going to provide me TWO beverages of my choice.

I shall choose Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Or maybe rum. Ill have to think about that.

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2 Comments:

Blogger Lily Strange said...

I have a horrific cold sore that is deforming my face. I think I'll form a conspiracy theory about it.
I'm also so over all of the campaign ads. I need them to shut the fuck up already!

02:16  
Blogger Dusty said...

The avg IQ would go up a lot more than 10 pts if Faux Noise went off the air.

05:11  

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