Random Crap

This will be a random crap post, so I can use up some funny crap I have managed to accumulate in my head and on my hard drive. Oh yea, today's word is "crap". So I will say crap a lot in this post. But no photos of crap, for nobody wants to see that. Just crappy photos.

I DID MY TAXES! Yes I know - I should have done them long ago. But whatever. I filled out the 1040 EZ form because I am lazy and that is the shortest form the IRS makes. I am getting back a little over $800. The tax form is in the mail, on its way to Atlanta. GA right now. I hope the envelope does not get stabbed. My return will be electronic.

But while I was stuffing everything in the envelope and looking for stamps, something occurred to me. WHY THE HELL did I almost use a "love" stamp? You know, those stupid Hershey Kiss motif stamps that were for Valentine's day or something. Anyway - this was NOT the kind of stamp you send off to the IRS! So I went looking for a stamp that did a better job of expressing my feelings. But I could not find one, so I used a generic "eagle" stamp. Hey - better than a "love" stamp!

Now for next year I have a better plan. You see, there are places where you can create your own photo stamps. AH HA! Most people use photos of their kids or pets or whatever for custom photo stamps. But I am going to market my own line of stamps for paying bills and taxes. Go to my STAMP PAGE by clicking anywhere that says "STAMP PAGE". Hey - it might make you feel better! Lazy Iguana Therapy Stamps - guaranteed to help you with your anger management issues.

Now for something I may or may not have stolen from a radio show. You may want to steal this yourself and turn it into one of those "meme" things. Or as I call them "msmd" (monkey see monkey do).

5 THINGS YOU WOULD NEVER HEAR HENRY KISSINGER SAY!

1. How much for the little boy?
2. Do you have the video "Hot Johnny Up The Yam Shoot?"
3. Gee your hair smells terrific!
4. I was not talking about your pet cat.
5. That is too much for this amount of crack.

So if you want to steal this, just come up with 5 things of your own that you would never hear Henry Kissinger say.

Next - on Cheesemeister's blog there has been an in depth highbrow very important discussion regarding a very important topic - do chicks fart? So I set off on a photo quest to find out!

What can I say here. The bubbles. This chick thought she would be slick by ducking underwater and swimming away from the farts. But she seems to have forgot that farts are less dense than water and therefore will bubble to the surface. Oh well. We can forgive her because she is probably hot.

Here we see the much dreaded "fire fart". Nobody likes the fire fart! This particular variety of fart usually comes after eating spicy foods. But as we can see in this photo, the fire fart gave this athlete that extra boost needed to complete her gymnastic routine and take home the gold. I think this girl is Russian, because they have a space program and understand the concept of rockets.

And lastly, do you think they will ever find this guy they are looking for? They put the police sketch on the local news. I wonder if anyone has seen the dude?

NOTE - I do not think the sketch is that similar to the news guy. But the hair is exactly the same. So are the nose, eyes, and lip hair. In fact, if the news guy's face were just a little bit narrower it the two would be dead on. You know there were jokes in the station about this.

And now, MOVIE REVIEW TIME!!!

The Royal Tenebaums. This is a movie about the Tenebaum family. Royal, the father, seems to have a great deal of money and marries some woman. They have two boys and adopt a daughter. At some point Royal moves out and the woman keeps the house - but they never get divorced. The kids turn out to be mega achievers. One kid is some kind of business mastermind, figuring out how the world of international finance works and starting several companies before age 12. The girl is also very smart and writes plays and stuff. The other kid is very close to the adopted sister, and becomes a tennis pro before the age of 17.

And then a few years pass. Again stuff happens. The adopted daughter turns into Gwyneth Paltrow and is ultra hot. Wacky and sometimes tragic stuff happens to each of the children in the process of them becoming adults.

But Royal, the father, was pretty much not there for most of it. He leaves early in the movie. There is never a formal divorce, but he is not there. Royal gets old and decides to get back with his family. But they do not really want too much to do with that idea. Or do they? And why does Royal want to get back? Because he feels guilty? Because he runs out of money? Who knows. This is a movie about broken bonds healing. Oh yea, and there is a falcon. Falcons are cool.