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Thursday, July 05, 2007

Smells Like A Gun Fight.

I take it everyone still has all their fingers and toes. I hope. If you paid attention to the wonderful safety video I posted then you should be OK.

Now if you read the comments from yesterday, you learned about the insane fireworks policy Pennsylvania has. Fireworks are illegal there, yet they are openly sold. Just not to people who live there. You have to be from out of State. So if you live in New Jersey close to the Pennsylvania border just drive across it and buy whatever you want. But if you live in PA then I guess you have to drive to New Jersey to buy stuff. Something like that.

Florida, not to be outdone, has its own crazy fireworks policy. Ariel stuff is illegal. If it goes BOOM or up in the air, it is illegal. Pretty simple.

Except that there are many places that will sell you anything. You just have to promise that you will go out of State to shoot the stuff off. There are fireworks warehouse places in South Florida where you can buy all the illegal fireworks you want. Shells, rockets, whatever. You can also mail order stuff.

So needless to say, all over the place people were setting off all manners of stuff. Some of the shells people buy are almost like the "professional" shells at the public shows. They go up there pretty high and explode creating large displays. People must spend big bucks on that stuff. But unlike the public shows, the fire department is not on standby. And there is no safety buffer zone. People just set that stuff off in the middle of the street. And if the launch tube should fall over? OH WELL! Or should a shell fizzle and explode too low? OH WELL! Sucks to be you.

But I did not hear any horrific screams, so everyone around here must have been OK. I guess. The air was thick with gunpowder. Of course for Miami it is perfectly normal for the air to be thick with gunpowder smoke.

At least it rained earlier in the day. Having everything wet is good when possibly drunk people are playing with explosives.

Today's safety video is called "How To Not Launch A Jet Ski". Enjoy.

This guy is a moron. How he got that truck so far in the water is a mystery to me. The ski weighs only a few hundred pounds. You do not need to get them that far in the water to float them. I launch a real boat in a similar truck (My Tacoma has 4 doors and the V6 engine) and never have any problems. If my 18 foot and 19 foot boat did not have to be that deep to float, neither does a jet ski.

Shit like this is funny to watch. People here go to the ramps on a busy day just to watch the madness. It is like a spectator sport.

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Blogger TLP said...

Nothing like the smell of fireworks or Napalm in the morning.

Just think, that idiot in the video is out on the road every single day, making decisions like the one that got him stuck in the water. Any day now, he might decide to do something that causes a big wreck. He IS a big wreck.

Blogger Ed Abbey said...

When I'm out canoeing of kayaking on a whitewater river, I always like to stop for lunch by some little tricky avoidance spot. I seen so many boats reduced to floatsam I have nearly choked on my sandwich laughing so hard. It's in our nature to watch the lessers of our species struggle with intelligence.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

the big fireworks? you mean mortars? we gots us lots o dem round here.

people should have to pass a skills course to back boats in water

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just in case you missed this one:

Anonymous Hair Krok said...

The Lazy,

I went to a party last night and this Dude had spent a fortune on fireworks. I love the smell of gunpowder.

Most jet ski people are idiots.

Blogger TLP said...

July 6 is "W"'s birthday. I think it's your duty to celebrate it with a special post. You do George so well.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

TLP - that is a scary thought. There are a lot of jet ski accidents. Now we know why.

Ed - I have a kayak video for you that you will love.

Doozie - there were mortars galore here. It was like downtown Iraq on Ladies Drink Free night. It was crazy. Backing a boat trailer up is a skill. Putting your entire truck in the water doing it is dumb.

Danielle - that happens a lot. Fireworks tents are best avoided.

Krok - People spend crazy amounts on fireworks. And all that money is gone in a short time. I do not stop for jet skis.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

how does dude in pickup with jetski end up sinking truck? he backed his truck onto the slick stuff on the ramp. the algae thats always just below the waterline.

when that happens you're supposed to press the brakes only enough to hold the vehicle from going down further and give it gas at the same time. powerbrake it. burn the algae off and tires will grip and you'll feel vehicle beginning to push forward, then release brakes slowly.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Anonymous - I do not think so. The front tires would have been on dry pavement. The ski is not heavy enough to pull the truck in the drink. I think the dumb ass backed the truck that far in the water on his own. THEN lost traction.

My heavier boat has never pulled my truck in the water when getting it back on the trailer, even with the back wheels slightly in the slick.

Blogger Cheesemeister said...

If you live in Denver, all you have to do is drive up to Cheyenne and buy fireworks. Wyoming doesn't much care if other states burn to the ground just so long as they sold them a few fireworks first!
The penalties here are pretty stiff for setting off fireworks. I saw a few pop bottle rockets but didn't hear too many noisemakers. It was actually pretty calm except for my knucklehead neighbor who started a bonfire in his yard near the wooden fence this evening.


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