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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Genius Level Ideas

Well it is kind of late for this year - but plenty of time for next year. The perfect Halloween costume. This guy is a genius. And even when it is not Halloween, this guy could help lower health care costs. His not so high tech machine looks like it could be constructed for less than $10.

It appears that his machine only uses visual detection methods. While this is a start, I think I can improve on the idea and add a tactile screening method as well as visual. I got a while to tinker with some designs. Halloween 2008 is a long way off.

But there are other ideas that fit into this time of year. Like my "mistletoe on a stick" idea. It is pretty simple. You get a stick, some string, and a sprig of mistletoe. Tie the mistletoe to the stick using the string so that it hangs a little.

Now you have mistletoe on a stick! At the holiday party you can use the stick to place the mistletoe over anyone at the party. And then cop a smooch.

Conversely, you can take a wire clothes hanger, some mistletoe, and a Santa hat. Now you can rig the wire hanger so it suspends some mistletoe over you. Then go talk to the hot chicks at the party. And cop a smooch.

NOTE - ALCOHOL IS YOUR FRIEND HERE. If there is no booze at the party, then it probably is not going to work. And what the hell - if it is an office party and you know some coworkers are hot.....what happens at the office party is soon plastered all over the company. You will be LEGENDARY. From that point on you will be "that guy in accounting who made out with all the hot single chicks at the company party". Songs will be sung of your deeds. Everyone will be in awe of you.

Or you will get canned.

This is why I like to keep a photocopy my ass on file. You never know when you may need to slip it into the company mail with a note explaining all the places someone can kiss when you are on your way out the door. Bonus points if the photocopy of your ass contains your frank and beans somehow.



Blogger Lily Strange said...

He wishes! I would place my two butt cheeks in his box and blow him a kiss!

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

I'd be afraid to photocopy my arse. I might end up perched right as someone came around the corner, or opened the door.

By the way, I though this was to be about raising your blog readability level. I'm at high school now. Isn't that fun? I think I'll change it once a week just for fun.

As for the big red button, sadly the NAB awards were a wash. Fun while it lasted...three whole days.

Hey, I also just thought up a great website idea but do not know how to do the hosting etc...

This idea is so good, I'll probably get it sold for a mint in a year or so and might even get sued in the process. Are you interested?

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Lily - the guy might like that. You never know.

Emma - Nobody likes to get a non-award. It is like getting a shitty gift, which reminds me of a post idea. Email me the details for the website. I do not have anything, so therefore I can not be sued. One can not squeeze blood from a rock.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanna see the arse photo you have on file! Post it!

Blogger M@ said...

I once PASSED OUT at an office Christmas party. I mean, I lost consciousness for a while after I climbed behind the bar and stole a bottle of vodka.

I AM that guy.

As a sober man now, I am not averse to getting a woman drunk. Hell, I encourage heavy drinking in others, especially young, attractive women.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Anonymous - the photocopy of my ass is on file at my desk, which of course I do not have access to.

M@ - I never got really tossed at an office party. Yet. There is always time.

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

He needs to move the "Place Boobs Here" sign a little higher. It looks like he's seeking a donation. (He also looks like he's probably got his own man boobs, anyway.)

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Scarlet - I thought the same thing. I would have put the "place boobs here" sign right under where the boobs are to be placed.

When I am in charge of things, man boobs will be illegal. Men with man boobs who show them off in public will be face a felony charge of super mega indecency.


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