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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Full Of Christmas Cheer

Yes I am full of Christmas cheer. Hell I am so full of Christmas Cheer that I am overflowing with it. It is leaking out of every pore in my body.

Of course by "Christmas cheer" I really mean "Christmas snot" and by "every pore on my body " I mean "my nose".

Yes, I have contracted some mystery Christmas funk. I do not know how this happened. I have pretty much secluded myself from the general public. But I did go to Barnes and Noble the other day to look for a book I could read before signing up for the sailing class. And then I went to Best Buy to look for a XD card reader. Then I went to the supermarket to buy food and beer and shit. So I could have picked up the Christmas Funk from any of these places.

In other news, you may notice my Iguana Links to the left. One of those links is Bock Imagery. If you can, link to it on your site. A good friend of mine is attempting to start some photography business. So the more links the site gets, the faster Google will index it.

Anyway, I found some books at Barnes and Noble - but did not buy any. I found the XD card reader at Best Buy. The retards employees pointed me to the external readers that require a USB cable. I explained that I have a laptop, and if I am going to connect anything to the computer with a cable it will be the camera. They told me that was all they had, and then I found a PCMCIA 6 in 1 reader that fits into the card slot on my laptop and reads XD cards, memory stick, and SD cards. Perfect.

I should have known something funky was going on in the Publix. See I usually use the express lane. Normally I buy 10 items or less. This is why I like to by my emergency food (boxed macaroni and cheese) in 6 packs. The 6 packages are wrapped together counting as one item.

Anyway there were no 6 packs. So I bought 4 boxes. And then I bought some cans of food. And some of those "instant noodles" things. And some organic "happy cow" whole milk. And some organic "happy cow" half-and-half. And of course, beer. So I had way more than 10 items.

But I get in the express line anyway. I do not realize I have more than 10 items till it is too late. so now I look like an idiot in front of the Publix checkout chick. Great. At that point I knew something was going on.

This morning the funk was in force. I spent the day moping around, feeling mostly bad. I also managed to lock myself out of the bathroom. I tried to open the door using a wire hanger - but that did not work. Now there is another shitter here so I could just use that. But all my shower stuff was in the locked bathroom. So I removed the door knob. Had I been noticing things, I would have seen that what I needed to open the door was a simple flat head screwdriver. But did I notice that? Hell no. So I had to destroy the door knob to get the door open. Now it is held shut by a screwdriver jammed in where the knob used to be. Darn Christmas Funk!

Now for some photos! A post about Christmas Funk is just not right. So here we go! Photos from my great Broward ICW adventure on December 15th!

This is not from my adventure. This is the "always on tap" beer menu from Titanic Brewery. I was playing with some camera settings. If you are into beer you may want to click the image to see it in full size so you can read it.

This is my boat, at the docks of the Southport Raw Bar located at 15th street and Cordova. It is a pretty good place.

This is another view of the boat at the docks of the Southport Raw Bar. I had the fish and chips, and 3 or 4 Guinness "pub draft" bottles.

This is a photo of a cruise ship at Port Everglades - the Holland America "Zuiderdam". It must be a high end ship, because it sails from Florida to Europe, 6 - 16 day Caribbean cruises, and Panama Canal cruises.

This is a view of Port Everglades while passing under the 17th street bridge. Click it and you can see several cruise ships.

And this is a small mega yacht. In fact, this may be the tender from a larger yacht that was too big to make it into the ICW.

That about does it!

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Blogger Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hey there, hope you get rid of the Christmas Lurgy soon ... sounds like not much fun.

Anyway, just dropping by to say HI, and to wish you a very Merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year.

Hope to drop by more often in the new year.

Take care, Meow

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i had a 'clicked' close look at the Zuiderdam and by gosh, it looks like they are deploying the life boats...and look at those whoppin great fenders!

....i love the sea, ships, yachts etc, - could never tire of them....your boat looks brilliant, - one could have much fun and good times on it.

merry xmas.
(save some fruit cake for others)

Blogger M@ said...

Yeah, that boat looks like it could be a "tender" of a larger boat anchored further out. Still, I'd take it!

I, too, am learning to tolerate the nincompoops of the world.

Blogger Avery Gray said...

Glad you got your card reader. I love Best Buy, but the people they've got working there... I'm not that tech savvy, so if I know more than they do, you know you're not getting great tech help.

Sorry you're not feeling well. I hope you're better soon.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Meow - Good to hear from you. I hope to be able to make it back to your blog more often too!

Ironic - the USCG was doing their inspections. The small ship by the forward fender is the ship's tender - and there were USCG people on it. I guess it went to the base to pick them up. They were lowering some (maybe all) of the life boats, starting them up, and briefly
running them. There was also some guy on a floating platform doing something to the anchor.

M@ - not me. I could not afford the fuel. I would sell that thing for whatever I could get for it quickly. If I got it with a full tank, then I would run the fuel tanks dry then sell it.

Avery - I got the card reader. So now I can charge the camera battery and look at the photos on the computer screen at the same time. I am going to use the gift card for an external DVD/CD burner with lightscribe capabilities. My laptop CD drive died.

Anonymous krok8 said...

The lazy,

I would have popped a cap into you at Publix and I'm confident Doozie would have stabbed you.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

You sound like my younger, single and very cute sister. She is in a funk over Christmas, too.

Those yachts are enormous. The only luxury yacht I've seen up close and personal is Tiger Woods' yacht. Off to check out Boch Imagery.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Krok - I pack a taser. Just so you know. If you zap someone enough, they piss their pants.

Emma - Tiger Woods yacht would be a speed bump compared to the yachts that the REALLY rich have. Even I was amazed. I just do not see as many large boats in Miami. Sure, I see lots of boats - but in the Broward ICW everywhere you look there is a big ass yacht. I swear I did not catch my Christmas funk from your younger cute single sister. But even if I did - I would not mention such things here.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

umm....why don't you get one of those little gizmo's for opening interior door locks and keep it up above on the trim?

I have those

I like those

Do you smell good?

When you have all that christmas cheer does a little of it squeeze out when you urinate?

I love your theory on buying a 6 pack of mac n cheese. I buy six pacs of those all the time. It is just rockin awesome, keep up the good work, and nice going balancing the junk food with organic milk

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Doozie - I have one of those. It is called a clothes hanger. Problem is that the knob needed a small flathead screwdriver. Oh well.

What are "those"? I am a little lost here.

I buy the organic "happy cow" milk because it lasts forever.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

And yes, I smell good. In my arsenal I have:

1. Azarro Chrome (running low)
2. Kenneth Cole Black.
3. Polo Black (KC Black is better)
4. Polo Blue (running low)
5. Burberry Brit (plaid bottle)
6. Burberry Brit (red box)
7. John Varvatos

And currently in the shower is Axe shower Gel - Snake Peel. With desert minerals and cactus oil.

Blogger Dusty said...

I love Polo..I wouldn't mind sniffing you if you were wearing one of those.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Polo Blue is better than Polo Black.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

Okay, I found his yacht but I don't see it on the list of top 100 largest for 2007. Some of those are like small countries!

Mr. Coffee always smells good. WITH exception. He likes Canoe. Like THE OLD MAN PERFUME. Geez, I tell him he smells clean and like my Great Great Uncle who died in the 80s.

Blogger Lily Strange said...

We will have none of that Xmas Cheer here, Buddy!
What the hell, I've been celibate for nine years. And semi-sober for five. I'll have the Triple Screw ale.

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

The Brewmaster is going to check out your menu.

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