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Friday, November 30, 2007

Worst Gift Idea For Christmas 2007

So someone get you a shitty gift last year? Looking for some shitty gift revenge? YES?!?!

But Lazy, I do not want to make it too obvious! I can not give that jerk a flaming bag of dog poop no matter how much I want to! I want a terrible gift, but something that would look like a "real" gift!!

I hear you. The flaming bag of dog poop is better gifted as an anonymous gift. Then you can blame it on the poop in a bag fairy. And this trick is too old. Way too old. Everyone knows NEVER stomp out the bag. Except cranky old men and Sasquatch.

This one has a surprise ending that I do not remember seeing on TV. Sasquatch gets his revenge - Sasquatch style. Turn about is fair play after all.

So what do you get? Lets see here. Crappy revenge gift....don't want to spend a lot on it.....has to look "real"......I GOT IT! THE WEATHER CHANNEL CD!

Yes, the Weather Channel Smooth Jazz CD. The ultimate perfect crappy gift. Featuring such hits as "that shit they play during weather on the 8s", 6 times per hour at 8 minutes past the hour then every 10 minutes after that.

You get such toe tappers as "rain", "mist", "hurricane", and "holy shit is it raining frogs, this can not be good. I should probably repent or something but it is probably too late".

The local used CD store will not want to take this one in for trade. Whoever you give it to will be stuck with it. Unless they send it off to someone else, along with the fruitcake.

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Blogger M@ said...

I LOVE how they give each other five. Ha!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

I like how Sasquatch targets the fat guy for the flinging of the poop. Can't really blame Sasquatch, the fat guy is always the easy target. In elementary school dodge ball, the fat kid always had 5 or 6 incoming bean balls as soon as the game started. I would hide behind the fat kids and use them as a shield.

Blogger Scarlet W. Blue said...

My kids hear "Jack Links" and come skidding across the floor to the computer.

Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

That dog poop gift seems to never go out of favor or style!

Blogger Avery Gray said...

The Weather Channel Smooth Jazz CD--because God knows that's the only reason I tune in to the Weather Channel, for their progressive Jazz selection. Haven't heard the raining frog track yet. Sounds like a good one!

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Scarlet - I would so mess with Sasquatch. I could not resist myself.

Barbara - you can never beat the classics. The dog poop in the flaming bag gag will never die.

Avery - People still watch The Weather Channel? I just look out the door. If I see clouds, then it will probably rain.

Blogger Emma Sometimes said...

hahhaha, Dooz just informed me she got your zapper in the mail. She says when the boy refuses to get in the tub....wack! I must procure one of these. She might even loan it to me.

That is a bad CD and not a Lawrence Fishburn kind of bad. This is Kenny G does a cover for something by James Blunt Bad.

That Sasquatch was totally owned.

Blogger The Lazy Iguana said...

Emma - I figured Doozie would find a use for the zapper. I have another one here that uses D cells. I would have sent that one off, but I could not find it in time. Oh well.

I think Sasquatch got even.


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