Another Day

Fishing Friday was a wash. There was a late start and weather conditions were not really all that great. Sure - an offshore trip could have happened, but why? So we could get beat up and soaked from bow spray??

Naaa - forget that mess.

So it turned into Friday Fun Cruise. It was a nice time.

The holdup was mostly due to fog. The fog was actually thick in the morning. Thick fog is not common here. Sure we get some fog, and central Florida gets socked in often. But this is not central FL. What happens here is that the ocean water is usually warm enough to keep the air warm enough so that fog thins out as you get closer to the beach.

In the everglades it can get thick however.

But it was a foggy morning. And the fog took a while to burn off. And it was on the beach.

To my trained eye - this could only mean one thing. A somewhat strong cold front was going to hit that day. And it did.

It was pretty neat. I was out in the bay. The sun was up. It was cool - not hot and not cold. Comfortable.

Clouds formed fairly rapidly. As the boat turned to the north to go back to port, somewhere between the 79th street causeway and the Broad Causeway BAM! Temperature dropped significantly. No rain - just a drop. It started to get a little chilly. The sky was gray.

Weather in South Florida is strange. Predicable - yet not predictable.

Fishing Friday!

That is right - Fishing Friday. Here is how it works. It is Friday, so why not go fishing.

Some people I know only through a boating forum on the internet are in town. Well some of them are ALWAYS in town as they live here. But some are from out of state. I guess this is all part of a Miami International Boat Show pre-party. The boat show will be here soon after all.

Anyhow I will be going out on someone's boat. The plan (right now) is to TRY to head offshore for some fishing in the morning, then retreating to the ICW when the winds build up the seas. Unless the fish are biting.

So that is that. Fishing Friday. Why not.

Just Another Day - Again

So a friend of mine calls and says that he needs to make a run to Home Depot to buy some plywood. Or something. And since I have the truck I get drafted for these sorts of missions.

Now how boring is that? Home Depot?? Of all places?? There is not even any beer there! BORING!

But it was not. I get to the intersection of Bird Road and SW 117th ave and what do I see??

Two fat guys fighting. Over what?? I don't know. I don't care. Maybe one said that Castro is not such a bad guy after all. Maybe there was only one doughnut left. Maybe they could not agree on an all you can eat buffet.

Did I mention the fatness of the two guys??

Anyhow there is this county bus that is trying to get out of the fight lane at the red light and I show up. At first I just think the bus driver is trying to get out from behind a broken down vehicle. But then I see the fight. Fat guys rolling around on the pavement.

The cool part about these incidents is that nobody seems to do anything. Not my problem! So long as when the light turns green nobody is blocking me. Fight all you want.

I was a little concerned that someone might have a gun. But this did not seem to be the case.

But fighting is hard work. So by the time the light cycled it was over.

Very strange.

Results

The shrimp were just not running the other night. It was more like a leisurely stroll for the shrimp. When they are running you can load up.

Really - I sort of thought this may be the case. They seem to like to run the best on cool or cold nights around the full moon.

Anyhow - I did not get skunked. Not totally anyway.

That is a standard dinner plate. What you see there is about 2 pounds of shrimp.

This was the largest shrimp captured. It almost qualifies as a lobster.

If I get a chance to get back out again Ill go.

The Art Of Catching Shrimp

Also known as "shrimping".

There will be a mission today. On the outgoing tide. Just after sunset. Word on the water is that the bugs are running. People are reporting catching them 10 and 20 at a time throwing a cast net from shore.

Of course Ill be in a boat. There will be one and maybe two people manning the dip nets. The idea is to light up the water, and look for red beady eyes running along the surface. Those would be the shrimp. You hope.

Bag limit is one five gallon bucket per boat per day. If I can fill a bucket up Ill be happy as shit. Ill have to split it of course - but a five gallon bucket is a lot of shrimp and one can only eat so many of the bugs.

OK not really bugs. At least not insects. Shrimp are crustaceans. But the highly scientific term "bug" can include anything that is not a snail and has an exoskeleton.

So they ARE bugs. If they were on land you would probably call them "roaches". But they live in the sea, so they are called "shrimp" and people deep fry them.

Anyhow - this should be interesting. I have never gone on a boat shrimping mission before.

I hope I catch something!!

WTF Thursday

Hello, and welcome to the first ever (and possibly last ever) installment of WTF Thursday! Today's first ever WTF Thursday will feature a photo search!

Can you spot the plutonium sample in this photo?? If there even a plutonium sample in this photo? And is it weapons grade plutonium or just that cheap ass "made in China" Wal-Mart plutonium? If there is any plutonium in the photo, is it historic plutonium??

Ill let you look at it for a minute and decide.

TIME IS UP!!!!

The answer is......YES! There is in fact plutonium in the above photo. It was found inside that rusty ass safe. So where is it? You see that bottle to the right? Next to the funnel looking thing? With the orange stain? Well there you go!

And yes, it is weapons grade - as opposed to fuel grade or power grade. The "cheap ass made in China Wal-Mart grade" option was only there to trick you. Wal-Mart does not sell that stuff. And I am sure that if China is making the stuff it is of good quality.

UNLIKE the cheap ass megaphone I bought that needs to be returned because it is a cheap peice of shit that did not work properly out of the box. OH and the colored pencils I bought that can not be sharpened because the graphite breaks off if you try.

And finally - it is historic. It is a sample of the first plutonium ever refined anywhere in the world. A sample of the same shit in world's first plutonium atomic bomb, dropped on the Japanese city of Nagasaki. The other bomb was made with uranium by the way.

So what was it doing in what appears to be a plastic or glass bottle inside a rusty ass old safe? Good question. The site was apparently used to make a lot of radioactive shit. It is in Washington State, right on the Columbia River. Due to lax regulations and safety procedures - shit was just dumped here and there. Some into the river, some was just buried on site. The safe turned up during the ongoing cleanup of the place.

The very brief "nothing to worry about here! Move along now" article - with cool photos - is HERE.

And that is todays WTF Thursday post.

Thanks to Left Wing Nutjob for somehow uncovering this little tidbit.

Off To The Swamps

Something strange happened.

It got cold. And by cold I mean the lower 40s. Tomorrow the wind chill may even bring it down to the LOWER 30s!!!!!

And it will be clear. No clouds. And we are very close to a new moon. Sooooo........

There is another everglades mission planned. Ill head down there with the telescope and shit and set it all up and stuff.

I need it to be cold because that kills the bugs. Also, it just so happens that a cold night in South Florida usually means a CLEAR night. No clouds. Clouds trap heat - and obscure the sky.

Thursday may also be a possibility. It will be a little but warmer on Thursday night. It will be in the mid 40s.

But Wednesday holds an edge. I hope. Bugs suck.

I will NOT need ice for the cooler. The beer should remain cold enough just sitting out.

*************************************************

In other news, I got word about some manner of a job. Full time even. Beats what I got going on now. And it would also have health insurance. So I can get sick again!! That will be nice. The location is on the water - so I can go fishing during lunch. Oh yea - and there is a cafeteria on premises that has decent food for not a whole lot of money - something like $2 or $3.

I have to travel to this mythical magical place tomorrow and see what the deal is.

End Of An Error

My countdown timer was 13 hours ahead of the game (countdown reached 0 at 11 PM eastern time).

But Ill still take the 0.

I could have taken it years ago really.

So what do I expect out of all this? Not much really. Just that someone who knows about emergency management will be in charge of FEMA, scientists will be in charge of the FDA, someone who gives a shit about the environment will be in charge of the EPA, someone who is not a mine owner will be in charge of whoever regulates mine safety, someone NOT in the coal, oil, or mining industry will be in charge of the Department of the Interior, and so on.

I expect a cabinet that is NOT obsessed with only one world view. A view which can not be questioned or challenged.

I expect an administration that will NOT only look at "facts" that support what they want to think - while ignoring everything else.

And so on. You know - nothing big.

I will not be attending any parties or anything. There are a few going on - but I am not going. I have to go to the boat club for some training.

I am going to learn all about the navigation rules!! There are a lot of them. For example, what is the light pattern for a semi-submerged tow under 300 meters??

Don't know? I do not think I do either. I know that there has to be a yellow light somewhere. And the thing that is bring towed has at least one white light. Maybe more. Who knows.

You see, what I do when out on the water at night is AVOID things with lights. The more lights it has, the more I want to AVOID it. And if someone on the boat asks me "what is that" I just make something up. They don't know. So as long as I just say something like I know what I am talking about, they buy it.

So far that strategy has worked for me, but I suppose if I must learn then so be it. I have to take a test. And you can't bullshit the test. I actually ALMOST passed it the first time I took it - which was sort of amazing seeing as how I did not spend any time actually studying. So maybe you can bullshit the test?

Anyhow - no party. I might have a beer or three after the class however.

But if people do want to go to a party it is fine with me. There is a lot of talk about the money being spent on the events of today. Is it appropriate to spend the money given the current state of the economy?

I say yes. Yes it is.

It is a mere fraction of what Halliburton and Blackwater and KBR will make this month. But more importantly, today is important to many people. Record crowds are expected to be in the nations capitol today. So should they all be told to go home - we are not spending any money?

No - that would just not be right.

So if you are going to a party today - have fun! If you are going to be standing around somewhere in DC - enjoy the capitol. It is there for all Americans after all. Enjoy the day.

The real work begins tomorrow. And there will be a lot of work to do. This whole economy thing is NOT ust going to get better. It will not be that easy. More jobs will be lost. More homes will be foreclosed on. More investment money will be lost.

The new guy is taking over at a bad time. But I do not think the outgoing guy would be able to do anything about this.

Why I Hate Valet Parking

NOTE TO READERS! If you are a scumbag asshole valet parking douche bag, you may not want to read this. Because I intend to rip people like you the new asshole you deserve.

It is no secret. I dislike valet parking. This is clear from my intro.

First off - I am perfectly able to park my own vehicle. I do not need your help. And I can walk.

And I really hate how you assholes feel the need to take over entire parking lots. So of course the 10 self parking spots fill up. And then people are FORCED to use your "service" which we do not want OR need.

And if you are one of the fuck heads who insist on using valet "services" - what the hell is wrong with you? Can't you park? It really is not that hard. If you can not park your car you really should NOT be driving. Use a bus. Call a cab. Whatever. But just because you are too retarded to park, or too lazy to walk 10 fucking feet - does NOT mean that an entire industry needs to be constructed to suit your needs.

Anyhow I had to go to an event at a place that shall remain nameless.

OK it was THE RUSTY PELICAN. On Virginia Key. Got that everyone?? RUSTY PELICAN! DO NOT GO THERE! THE PLACE SUCKS ASS!!!!

Anyhow there was no self parking. All the spots were full. So I had two choices. Choice 1 was pay some jerk off $5 to park my vehicle. Choice 2 was to find a paring space at the next door marina.

You see, 3/4 of the parking lot is reserved for valet service. What a scam that is.

Now I was already about 1/2 hour late for cash bar time. And I was a little bit thirsty. So I decide that I can just use the EXTORTION valet service. Just this once.

And then I go in, find the cash bar, and quickly forget about it all.

Now the Rusty Pelican is supposed to be a fancy place. And it is in a good location. Right on the water. You can get some really good views of the Virginia Key lagoon, a marina with some really nice boats, and Biscayne Bay with the financial district / Brickell condo district views.

But guess what? The event featured a buffet. There was some GRAY stuff. It looked kinds of questionable. But I scooped some on my plate anyway. My strategy for attacking the buffet involves getting a little bit of everything on my first pass, then going back or the good stuff on the second pass. My first plate is typically very light.

So I see the gray stuff. Well what can it be? Got me. Might as well try it. And it kind of tasted like......uhhhhh.....nothing? Chicken maybe? Turkey? Pate?

Well guess what it was! TUNA SALAD! TUNA!!!

Since WHEN is tuna GRAY???? Tuna is either RED or WHITE. I suppose it could also be pink. BUT NEVER GRAY!!!!!! Holy shit!

If there is a head chef at that place, he/she should be hung. You do NOT let gray tuna out of your kitchen.

I hope I do not die, as I did eat the stuff. Not knowing what it was.

By the way - there was no second pass. NONE of the food was that good. There was no reason to make a second pass. I knew I had cold pizza at home that was going to be better.

Anyhow after the event was over I went to get my vehicle. I gave the ticket to someone who ran off to get my vehicle.

And as my truck came into view - I notice a headlight is out.

Well great! Just what I wanted to see! A burnt out headlight! Well shit. Who knows why this happened. Could be a number of reasons. Headlights do burn out you know. And I did have spare bulbs in the truck toolbox. So no big deal.

But still - WHY now? WHY does the headlight suddenly decide that now is a good time to burn out? HUH?????

Anyhow - what is worse is that my satellite radio receiver was trashed. The audio out connector somehow got TORN OUT! Now this sucks. I like my satellite radio receiver. I use my satellite radio receiver. So I KNOW for a FACT it was working fine. How do I know this? I WAS USING IT DURING THE DRIVE THERE!!!

This is what I suspect happened. I have some excess cords attached to the drivers side oh shit handle. One of these cords is the audio cable that runs from the receiver to the input of the stereo.

Climbing in or out of my truck, some valet grabbed the oh shit handle. In doing so they put too much strain on the cable - which in turn tore out the connector on the receiver. This made the audio out plug on the receiver useless. Broken. Kaput.

If this is the case - he is my suggestion to the valet service.

QUIT HIRING SMURFS!!! I am not driving a monster truck here. I do not need the oh shit handle to get in or out of my vehicle.

So the saga of my broken receiver begins. I have yet to see how the establishment will deal with this. Somehow I suspect to hear "we are not responsible for damages blah blah blah". Or "the valet service is another company that we have no affiliation with". Or whatever.

And the valet service will say something along the same lines.

But I do not know this for sure. Ill know more tomorrow.

I fucking HATE valet parking. HATE IT!

2 Days, 21 Hours, 45 Minutes. Not That I Am COunting Or Anything

The countdown thing I have had on the page for as long as I can remember is ticking down.

I can recall when there was a large number there. And it would depress me. That number seemed so big. And it counted down so slowly.

But now we are down to under 3 days. As of right now, as I type this, 2 days 21 hours and 46 minutes.

45 minutes now.

I remember when I put the counter up. Get ANYONE else. It did not matter who. Just as long as it was someone else.

And so here we are. We got someone else. And I am pleased with the choice. The new guy is not in the office yet, and so has not done anything yet. But already the right is predicting failure, fires, floods, plagues, terror attacks, and whatever else they can possibly think of.

But I am the one full of doom and gloom.

Assholes on the radio are talking about the "Obama recession" because the stock market did not immediately recover the day after the election.

As if that has anything to do with anything.

I can remember early 2001 fairly vividly. The conformation hearings. Crony after crony was paraded in. The one party in power was quick to confirm them all. Anyone who questioned and appointment was just carrying sour grapes from the 2000 election results.

So we made a horse breeder head of FEMA. We put a dolt in charge of the justice department. We put a good man in charge of the State Department, and a criminal in as Secretary Of Defense.

The good man quit after 4 years - his once perfect reputation in tatters.

Compare that to now. Look at who the appointees are. People who might actually be able to do a decent job. Sure there are questions - and they are being asked. As they should. But not one appointment is based strictly on being "loyal" or being a long time personal friend who has no real claim to the job - other than the king wants you to have it.

We do not know what the future has to hold. I expect there to be good times, and bad times. Maybe more bad times than good. Who really knows.

But as far as the executive branch is concerned, I have more confidence that better decisions will be made.

The Congress - I am not so sure about. I do not know if the house will be willing or able to pull towards the center. The senate will probably be able to pull itself more to the center.

I have little doubt that the new executive branch will govern from and push an agenda for the center. At least I hope so.

So, out with the old and in with the new - in accordance with American tradition and government structure. There is no revolution. No overthrowing anything. Nothing but an orderly transition from one administration to another. Something that is not really as common as it needs to be in this world.

To the old - just go already. You really do not have to wait for the last minute. Do not forget to pardon yourself and everyone connected to you, so that you can admit guilt and the new administration will NOT have to drag the nation through investigations and whatnot. It can just end. Otherwise there will be investigations into possible wrong doing (which you already admitted to on TV when you claimed that you got legal opinions before violating various international agreements that the USA was a steward of) - or calls for investigations into why there are no investigations. A self appointed pardon will make all of that unneeded.

To the new - do not screw up. You are going to be held to a higher standard. Other than that - nobody can really say anything. We have to just wait to see what you do.

All For Me Grog

So what a week this was. So far anyway.

On Monday I bought a bon voyage gift for the crew of the fair ship Wanderlust. A bottle of Pussers Navy Rum. A proper gift for sure. But I could not get to the boat club Monday or Tuesday.

But on Wednesday one of my many surces tracked down FREE FOOD and FREE WINE. And it gets better! The event with the free stuff was at the University Of Miami School of Marine Biology. I always wanted to go to that place.

And I heard a lucture from the the top shark researcher in the USA. Probably the ONLY shark researher in the USA. And what shark was he studying? Why the largest shark in the ocean. Also the largest fish in the ocean. Only the great whales are larger.

So what is this fish? The whale shark.


There are going to be three more Sea Secrets lectures at the school. I plan to get to them all. I like this kind of thing. Really cool.

And then I went off to the boat club to deliver the bon voyage gift to the crew of the fair ship Wanderlust. And what was the gift? A bottle of Pussers Navy Rum. It is supposed to be the same rum the British Navy issued as part of a daily ration to all personell.

They do not do that anymore. Now I think that was a mistake. When the British Navy ruled the seas, rum was issued daily to everyone. Today - the British Navy does not rule the seas anymore. And there is no rum.

See a connection there? I do. Rum ration, rule the seas. No rum ration, no ruling the seas. No empire.

Anyhow, the bottle got opened. And consumed. I did my part.

It was one of those nights.

The Test

Tuesday was civil service test day. I applied for some position that required testing. This is common for positions where they do not want morons, yet a 4 year degree is not required.

So they can pay you less.

Anyhow - I have taken these exams before. No big deal. You show up, take the test, then leave. But it is NEVER that simple.

When I get to the testing center, things got really dumb really fast.

First there are four open doors, with a sign over them saying line 1, line 2, line 3, and line 4. And then there were also two random assortment of letters, which I assume are last names.

Clearly they want people to line up in the proper place based on their last names. My last name starts with a C so I get in the "Abjuhazzapqh - Damussahaka" line. I am making up the names, but trust me they were strange. Are these real last names are just made up last names? Who knows.

Nobody else is in line 1. So I figure "HEY GREAT! No standing in line". The strange thing was that nobody was in line 4 either. Everyone was in line 2 and 3. But line 2, 3, and 4 were for people whose last name did not begin with A, B, C, or DA.

Little do I know I am about to look like an idiot. I walk up to the line 1 table and there is a line at it. People in line 2. Now this is confusing. I am told "you have to get in line".

But I am in line! Line 1. You want me to get into line 2 even if my last name starts with "C"??

Yes.

OK - no problem. So the system was too good. It made too much sense. Clearly it had to be amended to something that made no sense.

I get into line 2. No big deal. Ill just hang out in line 2. Then line 2 is merged into line 3. OK so Ill stand in line 3 now.

But I still have to register with the line 1 table.

Anyhow - not a big deal. On a scale of 1 - 10 this is a negative 5. Not even remotely important.

OH YEA! The building the testing was in had defective toilets. There was water leaking out from under the door to the mens room - which is never a good sign- and reports from the ladies room indicated that the toilets were overflowing as well. With sewage.

OK! So don't step in the water. Got it. I do not go around stepping in strange puddles of water anyway. I hope the County got a discount on the use of the building for the day.

Anyhow that was the check in process.

When the doors closed, we were told to write our SSN on the test form and bubble in the numbers. OK got it. Pretty easy. Then we were told that there were two blank lines, and to write our name and SSN on the blank lines.

Well what would you do? I followed the directions. I put my name and SSN on the blank lines.

THEN the test bookelts were handed out, and we were told to put the test booklet number on the second line.

Well shit, the SSN was already there. Why not say "put your name and SSN on the top line and leave the lower line blank". For that would be proper instructuoins.

So now I have to erase the SSN, put the test book number in its place, and squeeze the SSN in the space left next to my name.

You know, following instructions would be eaiser if COMPLETE instructions were given in the first place. Just saying. You know, in an attempt to be helpful. To make the process better. For I truly believe in continuing excellence. Everything can be inproved. Right??

And then I start the test. It was really easy. First I had to read a paragraph then answer some questions. Then read two paragraphs and answer some quetions. Then a whole page - sometimes containing charts and graphs - and answer some questions.

Now one would think that the concept of "proof reading" would be a part of the process. But no. There were typos on the test. The typos meant that for some questions - there WAS NO CORRECT answer.

So what do you bubble in when none of the answers are correct, and one of the choices is not "none of the above"?

My hearing is pretty good. So I can hear others asking questions to the proctors. The standard answer was either "read it again" or "yea we know about that" or "we found this question this morning".

This morning? Really? So the person who made the test did not take it them self? I would have. I would have taken the test myself. I would have even asked a coworker or supervisor to take it as well. So that little mistakes could be discovered and corrected.

But no. That did not happen.

Anyhow the typos were pretty obvious, so I was able to deduce the correct answer. I think. But I have my doubts as to the validity of the scores. If they can make so many mistakes on the test itself - who the hell knows how accurate the answer key is.

There were also maps to read. Well that is not hard now is it??

Well yes and no. You see, the maps in the test book looked like 10th generation photocopied mess. There were words on the map you could not read. There were shaded areas that were supposed to look different - but they all looked the same. So the key was next to useless. In that an N? M? Who the hell knows, It is in sub micro print, and then in a shaded area to boot.

Now what the crap? You want to test me on my ability to read a map - when the map copy is so crappy that you can not even read it? Hey I got an idea! Here are some tablets found on Easter Island. Nobody has ever been able to decipher them.


Now I want the person who put that map in the test to tell me what this section of the tablet means.

Whats that?? You don't know?? Well why not? The symbols are clear aren't they? That is more than I can say for the map you saw fit to include.

And then there was my personal favorite. The math section. There was some adding to do. And you had to be able to read a table.

Questions were along the lines of "how many items were counted on Monday" - at which time you looked at the table and it told you.

Anyhow one question was "what is the combined weekly average for all data fields". Well there were two data fields, divided into two sections each. So I had to add up sections A and B of field 1, then sections A and B for field 2, then add the total for 1 and 2 together, then divide by 7.

Well the answer I got was not one of the choices. Not even close. So I checked my math. And then I noticed something strange.

One of the "answers" was the total combined figure. Well hell. Problem is the question is asking for an AVERAGE - not a raw total.

So I summon a proctor and point it out. They ask me to read the question. So I did. What is the combined weekly average. Then I point out the concept of taking an average, and then show that none of the answers listed are even close to correct - BUT if I just remove the word "average" from the test question there is a correct answer.

And you know what the answer is? "Well just guess". Just guess? What the crap is that? So I say "there is no point in guessing - since all the answers are wrong".

Well then just change the test question.

Change the test question? Well shit if I am going to change one question I might as well change them all. Then change all the answers. So everyone gets a 100%!!!!!

Anyhow I scratched out the word "average" and then picked the correct answer - assuming I have the power to just change test questions to suit my whims.

After that I was done. Test over. I turned in the materials, and mentioned to the person to took my stuff that someone needed to review the test because there were some problems. They said they knew and indicated that the test would be reviewed.

Which is great. Because if nobody says anything, how are they to know? Are they mind readers? No. Nobody is. And I might not notice my own mistakes. So quality control is good. Pointing out errors is good, because then they can be corrected and the next version can be even better. And so on.

Ill have my score next week. If I did not get a 100, or at least a 98, the answer key is flawed.

Weekend Highlights

A few highlights from this past weekend.

Haulover Cut - a popular place for people to drop anchor and chill out. There is a pretty big sandbar there, just outside of a channel. A few other boats were there - but it is a lot busier on a hot summer day. Depth under the keel was less than three feet, and the anchor was only in a foot of water. The shallowest part of the sandbar was only a few inches under the water. This is what makes it so popular.




Saw a boat on the rocks. Looks like it was stripped out then abandoned. This actually happens fairly often.


A floating landing pad. I guess airport fees are getting out of hand.


And then some dock photos. Got to have dock photos.


And I was at the dockside restaurant long enough for the sun to go down.


And yes - this is January. Notice the lack of ice and snow and polar bears and yeti and whatnot. The only things floating in the water were coconuts and the occasional palm tree branches. And of course boats.

Fair Winds And Following Seas

To the crew of the sailing vessel Wanderlust. They are pulling up the anchor soon and departing for a grand adventure on the high seas. The crew consists of a family of three, and one ships cat.

I ran into the crew while hanging out at the yacht club that I like to drink at. They invited me on board for a Miami to Key Largo race. Of course I went. I spend two nights and three days on the boat. During all that time I was only on dry land for a few hours. After the race on Saturday we loaded onto a small tender and made for land. Land had a freshwater swimming pool. And a place to get food and drinks.

We may have lost the race, but I doubt any other boat had as much fun.

They always said that they were not here to stay. And who can really blame them? Their home floats and can go to many places.

It seems that the itinerary includes setting a course to the Panama Canal. Once in the Pacific Ocean they will continue heading south through the doldrums, crossing the equator at some point. Once in the southern hemisphere trade winds, the ship and all aboard will make a course to the west. Following in the footsteps of Captain Cook, places such as Tahiti will make for some neat ports of call.

This is the dream. Being able to go almost anywhere - without ever leaving home.

Fair winds and following seas Wanderlust. Say hello to the people in Tahiti for me.

The Question

As I plan for the day, when I will be out in the bay but not in my boat, a thought keeps running through my head.

What is the point?

And to that - I do not know. What is the point? What is the point in anything? What if there really is no meaning to life? We are just here, and then one day we are not here. And there is no point to any of it at all.

To me, this makes everything more meaningful. I do not have a cosmic purpose. I am not here as part of some supreme beings plan. A plan which I have no choice but to be part of, meaning I am just a pre-programmed robot - here to do my part of the preordained plan. No will of my own.

But if there is no point, then maybe I do have free will. What I decide to do, or not to do, is all about my personal sense of ethics and what I deem to be right or wrong.

No cosmic plan that I am forced to be a part of, no matter what.

Anyhow - for some reasons I think about this stuff. Often.

I need to drink more beer.

Bugs

I learned a few things today.

1. It is NOT everglades season. Not yet. I jumped the gun and got too excited about a cold front that passed the other day. The bugs are still out there. Big time.

2. Before you go to the everglades, check the tide book. Why the tide book? Do you care if it is high or low tide? Not really. But the tide book also tells you the moon phase. You do not want there to be a full moon. The full moon washes out the sky.

3. If you have not used your telescope in a long time, you really should take some time to read the manual. You know, so you remember how it works.

See I totally forgot to do the alignment. OOPS!!!! The alignment is important. What happens is you are supposed to point it to the north. It has a thingie on it that knows when it is level. Now I remembered this.

But where is north? Beats me. What do I look like to you, a compass?

Anyhow I was close to north. Then I turned the thing on. But I FORGOT TO ALIGN IT!! What a goof. I just went right to the good part - selecting stuff to look at. I selected a good standby - the Orion nebula.

So the telescope starts to do its thing. On its own. And when it stops moving it is not pointed at Orion.

Why? Well there was the whole issue with skipping the thee star alignment. And there was the problem that when I turned it on it was not exactly pointing north. I was not sure there north was you see, so I guessed.

This winter started out on such a good note. The first cold front came early. But now it is just a let down. There are still bugs. It is not really super bad, but there are enough to be annoying.

I will try again. Hopefully it will remain cool long enough for there to be less bugs for the next new moon.

And next time I will be ready. Ill remember how to set everything up. It will be cool.

Lots Of Balls

Now this is hard to quantify. You see, I do not really pay attention to this "issue" when it comes up. Really. I do not care. And it is not an "issue" really.

So what am I talking about??

Why the inauguration balls of course! In theory these come around every 4 years. But not really. When a President serves a second term - nobody really cares. Sure there is still all the pomp and circumstance, for that is tradition and nobody fucks with tradition. It is traditional after all! So there is the whole swearing in, the obligatory speech, and then the parties.

But only when these things happen for the first time does anyone really care.

So it was 8 whole years ago when this was last in the news. And who can remember back that far? Well I can - IF I had paid any attention. Which I did not.

After all - it was hardly news. Inauguration balls??? REALLY!?!?!?! I suppose now you are going to tell me there will be fireworks too! And a parade. And some sort of ceremony. Probably a brass military band. And so on.

THERE ARE?!!??!?! Since when?????

Anyhow - NOT NEWS. We know about it way before hand. For it is traditional. NOT having such events would actually be far more newsworthy. For that would be bucking tradition.

I also know there are multiple formal parties. New Presidents spend much of their first day in office jumping from venue to venue, and taking care of important ceremonial things. I think there are papers to sign or something? Maybe a lease? Write a check to be held as a security deposit in case a pet chews up something really expensive and historic? Who knows.

But whatever the case, I vaguely remember inauguration events being chronicled 8 years ago. Not so much 4 years ago as it was a reelection. So there was nothing really new. Same deal for 1996.

So in the spirit of things, I would like to propose this anthem to be adopted as the official anthem of the day whenever appropriate. Either every 4 or 8 years.

I know - not terribly original - but it works. Sort of.

Readers Ask Part 2

Doozie asks "are you on crack? What about storms".

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Yes, this is a concern. A pretty big one in fact.

But believe it or not I have researched this aspect of a life at sea, as well as many other aspects.

Now in an ideal world I would just set sail to Canada on the first day of hurricane season. Maybe even head east once off the coast of Newfoundland and visit Iceland. Conversely I could set sail around Florida, head into the Gulf Of Mexico, then to the mouth of the Mississippi River. From there it is a clear shot to Chicago and then into the Great Lakes. Which eventually leads you to the Hudson River.

But who can do this? It requires being gone for months at a time. This of course means you have to accumulate a large enough amount of money that having to work is not a problem.

So that is out. I can't just pull up the anchor and skip town.

So all is lost, right? Not exactly. You have other options.

Probably the best option is to hide out in a hurricane hole. This is a somewhat protected area where you can lay out your storm anchor(s), secure the boat as best you can, and then leave for dry land. Up to a cat 3 storm this is a good option. Better than securing in place at a marina or well used anchorage.

The problem with a marina or anchorage is that invariably, someone fails to take the proper actions to secure their property. So you go out there, lay out your storm lines, take action to prevent the lines from chafing and breaking, deploy extra fenders, and so on.

But then because some jackass in the other slip did nothing, their boat breaks loose, slams into yours, and then your boat sinks in place. Or suffers major damage.

Oh yea - DO NOT TIE THE LINES TIGHT! Remember - if there is to be a 5 foot storm surge the boat needs at least 5 feet of slack in the lines so it can keep floating.

At an anchorage, the problem is compounded. Many marinas require boats to have a storm plan on file. And if you do not take action to secure your property - they will take action for you. And charge you accordingly. But at an anchorage this is not always the case. Some boats may even be abandoned. Left there to fend for themselves. So they will break loose from the moorings and then hit you.

A good hurricane hole is away from other things, yet sheltered. Ideally you have a place where you can make a spider web of lines, secured to things that are likely to still be there after the storm. Really good places are far up canals - but these holes are hard to come by.

So you have to hunt for your hole. Well before hand.

If you are not going to be able to tie off to things, you will need storm anchors. As in more than one. A popular storm anchor configuration is three heavy anchors, your main anchor off the bow as you would do normally (only using a heavier anchor) with two more set off of the main anchor at a 45 degree angle. For a small storm (cat 1 or 2) you may not need to put out three anchors, but it would not hurt.

You need a lot of scope here. The more the better. The ground tackle for the anchors should be all chain. At least 200 or so feet of the stuff. Some say it is OK to make the last 50 feet or so of the system be heavy nylon line, as it acts as a sort of shock absorber - some say forget that mess and go all chain.

Another option is to haul the boat out, and secure it on dry land. You really have to make arrangements for this. You will need to have a contract with a haul out marina that clearly says they will haul you out during a storm watch. If you plan to move the boat inland, you will need a similar contract with a trucking company, not to mention a deal with someone who owns the land you plan to secure the boat at.

All this sounds like a lot of hassle. And it is really. But storms to not come around every year. The odds of a major hurricane (cat 4 or 5) are a lot slimmer than the odds of a minor hurricane (cat 1 or weak 2). Tropical storms and lower are not really a huge problem.

And then again - a concrete block house faces the same problems. You have to secure those too. You need shutters over the windows and all that shit. You could loose the roof. And so on.

Hurricanes are bad news no matter what. No structure can be considered "hurricane proof". A house stands a better chance than a boat - but at least a boat CAN move.

Lastly, I would carry insurance. Of course. And I would not stay on board for something nasty. I would take whatever action I could - given time constraints and whatnot - then get out. Taking with me as much as I could. As soon as the winds calmed down I would return.

Life is all about balancing perceived risk with expected return. Boats do survive storms. It all depends on the size of the storm, where you decide to put the boat, how you secure it, and luck.

Readers Ask

M@ asked "Huh. It takes a lot of equipment to live on a boat."

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Not really. In fact just the opposite. When you decide to live on a boat - unless it is a very large boat - everything must have a purpose. In fact, it is better if something has multiple uses. You simply do not have any room for crap you do not need.

A 40 foot monohull boat has less room than a small apartment. Maybe even less room than a small studio or efficiency. The V berth in the bow is small and cramped. If you are too tall, you may not even fit in it. And even if you do fit in it, you are NOT going to have anything in there. There is no space for even a little TV. You may have some hammocks hanging - and those become your cabinets and shelves and stuff. You do not even have a drawer for your underwear. It is all there - in plain sight for all to see.

The head - or toilet - is also very spartian. Tub?? Forget that shit! A tub on a boat is only for the rich. No, the typical sailboat like I would be able to afford will be quite small. Just a toilet, a sink, a drain in the floor, and a hand held shower head. Want to take a shower? Lower the lid on the toilet, have a seat, and go at it. For there may not be enough room to stand up comfortably.

And that is not all. Leaving the water running is wasteful. On a boat you waste nothing. So you will only use three or four gallons at the most to shower. The less water used, the better. Because your fresh water tank may only hold 40 gallons. And 40 gallons is considered quite a bit. You can get larger freshwater tanks - but they just add weight and take up space you could use for something else.

Your toilet will more than likely use salt water. If it uses fresh water then it will only use a pint or so per flush. Even if it uses salt water it will not waste a lot of water per flush. And you know why? Because you need a holding tank! Thats right. The USCG and the EPA and other agencies say you can not dump your untreated shit overboard. So you need to dump it to a holding tank and then have that pumped out. Or go at least three miles offshore (unless you are in a lake or river where you can not discharge anything at any time) where you can dump your shit overboard legally.

Since you need a holding tank, that means one more thing that takes up room. But at a pint of water per flush, a 10 gallon holding tank will hold about 64 - 80 flushes. Depending on a number of facotrs. If you had a gallon per flush that 10 gallon holding tank would need to be pumped out every other day or so.

Conversely, I could get a Type I marine toilet. A type I toilet treats the sewage with electricity. They only work with salt water. The waste is pumped into a blender of sorts where it is turned into a horrible mess. Then electricty is applied. The electricty splits the water into hydrogen and oxygen - and in the process relases free chlorine ions into the water (from the salt). The chlorine then kills most of the nasty bacteria.

Truthfully at this point I would then just discharge the mess overboard. It is not like I would be in a lake where people get their drinking water from.

From there is the main salon. This is your living area AND kitchen. Now assuming I am in a 40 foot boat here - I may have a 12 foot beam. Surely no more than that. So below decks my main living area would be all of 10 or so feet wide. So my kitchen, dining room, and living room would be maybe 10x15 feet or so. Maybe a little more. And in this space will be a table to eat off of, a small galley with an aocohol stove to cook food (propane is an option but then you need to find a place for the gas cylinders which rust and shit), two bench seats that can convert to sleeping areas, a plotting table, the stairs leading to the upper decks, and the engine. The bench seats have storage under them, and there are also commonly shelves over the seats for whatever.

In the stern is another berth - larger than the V berth but still not huge.

So no. You do not have "a lot" of equipment. You have the bare minimum needed to get by. If you do not use something every single day - it is a waste of space.

The upper decks on a sailboat are reserved for the rigging and crap - so there is not much room there for stuff. You do have a cockpit where the wheel is. You may also have some dingy davits to hang a small tender from.

Another problem with stuff is that it requires power. Power which you may not have. Unless you are at a dock with shore power - your only source of electricity is a bank of 12v batteries, a few solar panels, and maybe a wind generator. The solar cells and wind generator serve to recharge batteries and supply power for things. But it is not like you can just take anything and plug it into the wall and expect it to work. Take a simple microwave oven. Lets say you have a 900 watt oven - which is small. Well a decent size wind generator is only 800 watts - at full speed. So if the winds are light and the generator is only producing 500 watts, you need to put another load of around 33 amps on your batteries. That is a lot.

Forget about running AC on batteries. Not unless you have a hell of a lot of batteries. AC needs either shore power or you have to run a generator.

Same goes for hot water. If you want a hot shower you need to run an engine (with a heat exchanger setup to heat water using the engine), a generator to run an electric heater (could draw a lot of juice there, 20 - 25 amps of 120v easy), shore power, or propane.

Sounds cramped huh? Well it is. And a 40 foot sailboat is strting to get pretty big.

So what I would actually look for is a slightly smaller catamaran. If I could find one I could afford. Cats tend to cost more, as they tend to be newer. The biggest advantage to a catamaran is that your salon is MUCH larger. You have a lot more beam. So even if I took a hit on length I would get a massive upgrade on beam (width). And since the cats have twin hulls - the berths are not in the same area as the salon. The berths are in the twin hulls. The salon is all open. And at the stern you have a patio of sorts.

The question is - can you live off the grid? Can you live off a couple of solar panels and a wind generator? Well - can you?

Also can you afford to buy the boat, replace anything that needs to be fixed, add the solar panels / wind generator if they are not already there, and then maintain it all???

Cosmic Origins

I do not know about you, but the novelty of the new year is all worn out on me.

It is going to have to prove itself to me before I believe it is any better than the year before. So enough of that!!!!

Now onto more pressing matters.

Skipper The Cat is back to scratching and licking himself raw again. He is allergic to something. Who knows what.

I bought him a cone collar. But he hates it. I put it on him and while it does prevent scratching an licking - it also brings on severe depression. Ever see a depressed cat? It is a sad sight. He just mopes around. Laying in one spot. Which is unusual behavior for him.

But if I leave it off he licks and scratches himself all night long.

This will certainly result in a vet bill.

BUT IN OTHER NEWS........

I am really liking my Roku Netflix Player. It is this small black box that you connect to a TV. You can use HDMI, composite video (yellow RCA plug), S Video, or composite video. Pick one. There is also an optical connection for audio.

It connects to your high speed internet router either wirelessly or through Ethernet. I went with the wireless connecton.

Setup could not be easier. You just plug it into the TV, connect it to power, and you are done. It finds your wireless network, asks you for the SSID password if you have one, then it connects to Netflix and obtains a confirmation code. You then log into your Netflix accound on your computer, and enter that confirmation code.

The device then shows you all the movies on your queue that you can watch instantly. Just like that.

There is one flaw in the device however. You can't turn the thing off unless you unplug it.

Anyhow it is pretty cool. It works very well.

So Far So Good

Well the first day of the new year went OK here.

Titanic fixed their beer. At least it tasted like they fixed the beer. Ill have a better idea tomorrow.

As far as indicators go, this is as good as any. The beer indicator.

Oh yea - a little lesson on why you should ALWAYS keep a camera on hand. Just in case you see someone doing something that might be funny. Like the person spotted stumbling down the street, with a lit roman candle in each hand - yelling WOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Now why would you want to film that? Dude - if that is NOT a potential You Tube moment I do not know what is. There is just so much that could happen. Any number of things could get set on fire. Worst case here is that nothing happens and you just delete the footage. Best case is you upload the next You Tube hit, getting 10,000,000 views per month.

For which you get paid diddly-squat. Nothing. You provide the content, they collect the advertising revenue.

So what are my grand plans for the year? I do not have any. What is the point?

The New Year Is Here

I love time shifting. I did not think I would, but this is great. I can type now and post later. Like now for example.

Anyhow - the New Year will have just begun when this is posted. And I have no idea what I will be doing. Maybe something, maybe nothing - who knows.

But there will ALWAYS be days to go out and party. So what is the big deal about December 31 at midnight anyway?

I know. Tradition. Fun. Any excuse is a good excuse. Can't argue with those things!!

So I will not.

Anyhow - I hope everyone reading this had a decent time doing whatever it is you were doing.

But more importantly, I wish everyone the best in 2009. It may be a bumpy year. But I am hopeful that something positive is going on. Something big. Something that may just turn the way things are going now around. There is ground swelling going on. The hope of many millions of people. The majority of the millions. All this ground swelling needs is a spark. Just one little spark. Much like a pile of gunpowder.

And this is good. We could all use this.

So happy new years day to you all. May 2009 bring only the best for you and yours.

If you are reading this hung over - you are not really starting off too well. But if this is the case look at it this way. For you, it is a given that tomorrow will be better. See!!! Improvement already!!