The Future

My last post was about outsourcing as we know it today, and why capitalism likes it.

Capitalism is an economic system based on exploiting resources for fun and profit. We have pretty much tapped the natural resources to the point where further tapping is no longer cheap - so third world labor is the final frontier. It is still cheap.

But what happens when this cheap labor is used up? What happens when the third world reaches the point where it is industrialized, and workers demand more? What happens when they form unions?

At that point, the party as we know it today is over. The world's economic systems will have to evolve. What they will evolve into I can not say (my crystal ball is getting fixed).

I do not think this is a bad thing. The world's economic system has evolved many times in the past. The first evolution was going from a barter system to a system of money. In American history, the system has evolved three times. The first change was going from a colonial system (we could only trade with England) to being a nation. The second change was when America industrialized and Adam Smith's classical view went out the window (Smith put farmers at the base of the economy, industry changed that). The third and most recent change was when Keynes came up with his formula GDP=G+I+C+(exports-imports). We are using the Keynes system today.

Keynes formula is so important to us because when he came up with it, most economic cone heads were still stuck in the world of classical economics. Under Keynes, the government can pump up the economy by deficit spending when the other variables drop. In the classical world, the economy is directly tied into how well farmers do. The Lazy Iguana thinks that the most important variable in Keynes's formula is C or consumer spending. In the classical world, most consumer spending was on farm tools as there was no industry to mass produce anything. But today we can buy all sorts of crap.

Anyway, once the third world gets to where America was in the early 1900s, labor costs will start to increase. At some point, it will not be as cost effective to move factories overseas.

This is when things get interesting. The Lazy Iguana does not think that the current system of American over consumption is sustainable. We do not need new cell phones every year, and vehicles that get 12 mpg in the city. In the next economic step, I do not think that all this will be here. The world will HAVE TO be more efficient in its consumption of energy. We will run out of oil and gas. Coal will get more and more expensive to mine. This is just a cold hard fact.

All this leads back to another dead white guy, Karl Marx. He said that industry leads to revolution. I think he might ultimately be correct. I do not think that "revolution" has to mean a civil war, it can simply mean change. I think that Marx was too much of an idealist; his system can not happen as long as humans are greedy (and we are greedy bastards!!). But at the same time, our system is not sustainable, once again because humans are greedy.

So what will the next step be? Only time will tell.

Outsourcing - good or bad?

Who benefits from outsourcing? Why, everyone - according to economic theory.

In the cone head world of economics, there is something called a "competitive advantage". What this says is that nations should produce things they are good at producing. Under this theory, if nation A can make widgets of equal quality for less than nation B can produce them, nation B should get out of the widget business.

The third world has one huge competitive advantage - cheap labor.

Add to this the fact that business is there to turn a profit, not to provide an income to employees. A good manager will always seek to produce stuff at the lowest cost possible.

In the USA, employees want things like a decent wage, benefits, insurance, 401K programs, paid vacations, and unions. Because of all these added costs, the final price of the product goes up. Costs went up to the point where it became cheaper to produce the stuff in Bangladesh and ship it here on a barge. So that is exactly what business did.

Made in the USA used to mean quality. People were willing to pay a little extra for that quality. But gone are the days when made in the USA meant excellent quality. Made in the USA tags are now just a marketing tool used by companies in an effort to pass off goods for a higher price than other comparable goods. Made in the USA no longer means "excellent quality" like it did 50 years ago. Now it means "buy the extended warranty". I drive a Toyota (assembled in the USA, but most of the parts were made in Japan).

Made in the USA used to mean the entire process was done here. For cars, the steel was made in the USA, the leather was made in the USA, the plastic was made in the USA, the engine was made in the USA, the glass was made in the USA, and everything was bolted together in the USA.

Today, most things made in the USA are really imported as parts, and simply put together here. Car makers do this on a regular basis. Look at the sticker in your door jam, you will see that even if you drive a Ford at least 1/2 of the parts were made somewhere else. So was that car really made in the USA? Not really - it was made in 4 or 5 nations.

So who benefits from outsourcing? Well, in a way all consumers do. If quality is the same, consumers will choose the cheapest option. Say you are shopping for clothes. You find two very similar garments. One is made in Honduars and costs $15. The other was made in the USA and costs $25. Most people will buy the $15 garment, assuming similar quality and materials.

By offering consumers the goods they demand, at the lowest possible retail price, outsourcing benefits consumers and investors.

Of course, all this just makes you mad if you have lost your job due to outsourcing. This is the dark ugly side that nobody wants to talk about. Workers sell their labor on an open market. American labor is unwilling to work for less than $1 per hour, but labor in the third world will gladly do so! Therefore, labor in America is at a major competitive disadvantage compared to say Mexico.

And it is not just labor, it is society that make the cost of doing business in the USA high. OSHA regulations require a somewhat safe worlplace. The third world has no such requlations. The USA has strict pollution controls, in the third world you can still dump toxic waste down the drain. And so on. All this amounts to more competitive disadvantage.

So how can America save its manufacturing jobs? Several things have to happen.

1. Consumers have to DEMAND American made goods, and be willing to pay 2x or even 3x more than they are paying for the same products now.

2. The third world has to have a labor revolution, like America had in the late 1800s/early 1900s. The third world needs to form labor unions, demand a living wage, demand benefits, demand weekends, and all the other things American workers are used to.

3. I hate to say this, but American workers need to be less lazy. The Japanese kicked our asses because of their very strong work ethic and company loyality. While American auto workers were just putting in hours, Japanese workers were striving for excellence.

Sadly, I do not see any of the above happening anytime soon. I do not think that the third world will have a labor revolution soon enough to make a difference to the people alive now. By the time they do organize, all the manufacture jobs in the industrial world will be outsourced.

Capitalism is based on exploiting resources. Right now, labor is one of the last things that can be exploited cheaply. Once the cheap labor in th third world is gone, I do not see the economic system alive today being able to survive. But this is OK, the USA will survive the final death blow to capitalism as we know it today. I will explore that tomorrow.

Death of society

A lot has been said about the reasons for the decline of American society. Crime is up, divorce is way up, drug use is super way up, and violence is up - compared to say 50 or 60 years ago.

Now why is this the case? People have blamed many things for all this, from television to pot smoking hippies in the 60s, from not going to church to rap music, and even on more recent issues such as gay marriage. My opinion is that all of the above are not causes, they are symptoms.

Before WWII, people really did not have a whole lot of stuff. There were manufactured goods and automobiles and stuff, but not on the scale we have today. Not even close. American business was using companies like Ford as a model. This is important because Henry Ford had a simple and brilliant idea. Pay people enough so that they could all afford to buy the things they were making. Workers were valued for their experience and skill, and the company tried to hold onto them. Life was mostly stable.

Then came WWII. America was looking at two REAL threats to national security, Imperial Japan in the Pacific, and the Nazis in Europe. So the industrial might of America went into high gear. The government ordered as much war material as it possibly could. Entire factories were built just to make guns and tanks. Other factories were re-tooled. IBM, who at the time made mechanical typewriters, made guns (I know this because I want to get one – it will go with my International Harvester M1 Garand rifle). The US wartime production that was untouchable by enemy bombs won the war on both fronts.

When the war was over, a whole new problem was discovered. What should be done with all those factories? With every single American soldier wanting to get back to normal life, and with Europe still in ruins, the answer was clear. Re-tool all the factories in America to make stuff.

So now we are in the late 40s early 50s. American factories are cranking out all sorts of gizmos that people did not have access to before the war. Electric can openers, automatic dish washers, an explosion in the automobile industry, television - you name it. Also came the rise of the Soviet Union and "the bomb". We had it, and the Russians had it. But the Russians did not have electric can openers - so therefore we were better than them.

Television ads from this time clearly show the ideal home. The husband works, the wife stays at home and takes are of the house. The family lives in the suburbs, with only one car which the man uses to get to work. But it is not all work for the wife! Not with a house full of time saving gadgets and gizmos! Why, housework had never been easier!

The only problem was that 5 years before, that same woman WAS the factory worker while the men were off killing each other in some awful bloody war. Many of the veterans had to be suffering in silence from some kind of post war stress disorder, and the women were not exactly all that willing to be the housewife anymore. But you would not know that from the television ads of the time!

It is also important to point out that American business was at the time using the General Motors business model, which was the same as Ford's. Pay your employees enough so that they could afford to buy the crap you are selling. General Motors took that one step further, by having a very good benefits package including a wonderful pension plan. People could expect to work for only one company for their entire career. Company loyalty and pride in workmanship was common place among employees.

At some point, all this fell apart. Companies still tried to sell you the idea that products make your life better and bring you happiness, but top level managers wanted to get more milk from the cow. So companies began to shun the General Motors business model, and form something else. Why hire full time employees when you can hire part time people and not have to give them benefits? Automate your factory, so that human skill is not as important. Pay people less, or pay the same and raise your prices. And so on.

At the same time, other aspects of society were changing. Civil Rights and the Women's Liberation movement were here. Black people, who had been long oppressed in America, suddenly decided to get pissed off about it. Women demanded access to the workplace. The traditional "white man in charge of everything" model was under attack.

After all that dust settled (if you can call it settled, there is still a disparity between what black people earn VS what white people earn, but that is a whole other issue), we found ourselves in the late 70s early 80s and on to today. Success is measured in how much crap you have. It is measured by what car you drive. It is measured by the clothes you wear.

The problem is that the car that says "I am not a total loser" is not the Ford Escort, it is something that is in the $30,000 class. And that is only an entry level not-a-looser car! To really be cool, look at spending at least $40,000 or more. The clothes that say "I have made it" are designer threads that you can only buy at an overpriced hip store at the mall. The cool shoes will cost you at least $200 per pair, maybe more.

Affording all this stuff on one salary became almost impossible. How could one middle class income buy two BMWs? It can't, but two might! More and more families became dual income houses, just so that people could afford all the things that "success" brings. The single income families that never bought new cars and did not dress in designer clothes were losers.

With two jobs, other problems became apparent. For one, it brought a lot of stress. Who would take care of the kids? Who was going to fix dinner? Who was going to clean all the crap in the house? Not the man - that’s not men’s work! And not the woman, she worked the same 40 hours a week as the man.

Another problem was when was family time? It was possible for the husband and wife to have different days off, and even different shifts. In many cases, it was hard to have a vacation because time off could not be coordinated. Also, who can afford a vacation when you have the luxury car payments, mortgage for the big house, leather furniture bill, and kid expenses to pay off?

People found that no matter what crap they owned, they were still unhappy. So they would get a divorce, thinking it was the other person that made them miserable. Families were torn apart. Television raised children. Parents would make up for not being there by buying stuff for their kids. Kids were at home with no adults around, so they could smoke pot in the backyard. And so on.

I believe that CONSUMERISM killed America. Our lust for crap is the death of us all. The quest for lowering cost has forced many companies offshore. No longer do people think that they will work for the same company for 30 years. Life is more uncertain, which causes more stress. And all this so we can have 50 choices of what car to drive, and electric can openers for $10 at Wal-Mart.

What will come to be

This post shall be about me predicting the future. And unlike a man who lived in France about 500 years ago, I will not make my predictions cryptic. Besides, all this has happened before, so all I am saying is it WILL happen again

First off, this is what will happen to the republican party. It will go further and futher to the right. The crazy people on the fringe right are NOT the majority of the party, but they are the most vocal and pushy - so right now they are getting their way. They will continue to push to the right. They will get louder and louder, and more and more demanding. At some point the whole thing will blow up in their face, and they will loose the party.

This has already happened. The fringe has been able to make "liberal" a bad word, and been able to label "moderates" as people that can not make up their minds. This means that according to the far right, only consertives who think exactly like them AND do not ever change their minds are "strong leaders". The problem with electing people who think like this is that people DO make mistakes! To me, if you make a bad decision you should NOT keep doing the same thing and hope the results change. Doing so is what Albert Einstien called insanity. The smart thing to do is to "waffle" and try something else.

And as for the charge that moderates can not make up their mind without looking at a poll - EXCUSE ME! WE THE PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO RUN AMERICA! Politicians SHOULD look at opinion polls, the people being polled ARE THE BOSS! Keeping people in office that do not care about the opinion of the people is dangerous. I do not care what party a politician is part of, if they are not going to listen to the people they need to GO!

So this is what will happen. Sooner or later, the moderate majortity will just not be able to take it anymore. The republicans will veer too far to the right, and they will loose elections. Moderate democrats will get swept into power. For a while, things will be ok.

but then the democrats will allow the same thing to happen. The fringe left will creep in, and slowly take over the party. After some time, the party will have fewer moderates and more far leftists. The crazy ideas will begin to to become mainstream - and at that time the voters will swing back to moderate republicans. Then the cycle will begin all over again.

So hang in there folks. What we have now we will not have forever. Already, the backlash is rumbling. I do not think that anything will change in 2006, but I do see changes possible for 2008. It is rather hard to run against a sitting president, but in 2008 Bush can not run again. Two totally new people will be running for the job.

I am more of a moderate than anything. On some issues, I tend to take a more liberal stand. On other issues, I favor a more consertive view. Then there are some issues I have to think about, to decide how I really feel about it.

What I like to see is power split evenly. If the republican party has the white house, the democrat party should have the congress - but not by enough to overturn a veto! If the democrats have the white house, the republicans should have the congress - but once again not with a 2/3 majority. This way NEITHER party can just push their crap through. The government is forced to listen to the other side, and cut deals with them. The majority in congress can block agenda items they do not like, but they will not be powerful enough to push stuff through if the president vetos it. The winners in this case - we the people.

This is what I hope happens in 2006. And of not, this is what I would like to see in 2008.

If I agree, it is fair

There is a trend in America that fair means you get your way. This is nothing new, not at all - but it seems to me that this thought process is stronger than ever today than it was 10 years ago.

I think this is because the party in power is being taken over by people far to the right of what most Americans really think. How can they get away with this? Why do people keep voting for them? Because they use the power of religion to screw with people.

Religion is a very powerful thing. The evangelicals know this, and use it to consolidate their power. It only takes a few of them to join a church and convert everyone to their line of thinking. They use key verses from the bible, and ignore everything else. They convince people that to be christian, you MUST agree with them. Once they get that far, they use one or two issues to sway the way people vote. The whole goal is to get people to vote with them. I know this because I saw it happen at the church my mother used to go to. I would take my grandfather there, because he was deeply religous. He went to a different Sunday school class than I would go to (adults and old people went to different rooms).

My class was run by some born again fundie who (I swear this is true) got upset in a shopping mall because none of the stores had a cross in them. He called the mall "godless" because of this. Well DUH! Since when are malls in the business of selling god? They are in the business of selling overpriced crap like shoes, clothes, bad food, and other stuff. Churches do not sell shoes, and Dadeland Mall does not sell god! Get it??!?!

When I asked the guy if the mall should also have jewish, islamic, buddist, and hindu symbols I got the answer I was expecting, namely "no, we are a christian nation". The sad part was everyone else in the room agreed with him. When I tried to explain that America is a nation made up of people from many faiths, and that no faith is more or less valid than any other, all hell broke loose. My thoughts were dismissed as "satan confusing me". They were right, I was wrong. There was no maybe. Only christian symbols are fit for display in America. All other religions "will not lead you to the kingdom of heaven" (yes the guy said that - so sorry all you jewish people! Guess where you are going!).

Now once you can accept such a narrow minded view of the world, it is not hard to see how the evangelical wing of the republican party has managed to take over. For well over 10 years, the evangelicals have been slowly taking over one church after another. Like a fog creeping over a lake, they move slowly and deliberatly. Before you notice it, you are in it.

This is why I do not see the red states going anywhere. They will remain red. There are already enough people pumped up to keep the evangelical candidates in power for a long time to come. They will campaign SOLELY on two issues - abortion and gay marriage. People will vote for them because the preacher says both these things are wrong. No other issues will matter. Health care, the environment, energy independence, war - none of this means squat. What is REALLY important is that gay people can not get married. The evangelical preachers will say this over and over and over, and the sheep will vote accordingly. Even if it does lead to other things that they are against.

And as for fairness? Today, that that means getting exactly what you want. If you have to reach any sort of comprimise with anyone else, that is unfair. After all, you won the election right? Never mind the fact that 49% did NOT vote for you. It is simply not fair to have to listen to that 49%.

Bad deals

This is why I think the Senate deal is bad news.

The Senate was carefully set up to make it hard to shanghi. Each state, no matter how large or small gets 2 Senators. This keeps populated states from being able to totally bully rural states.
There are also safeguards set up by the CONSTITUTION that prevent the majority party from running over the minority party. This safeguard is more commonly known as the fillabuster.

Of course, the majority party always dislikes the fillabuster. Using it, just a few senators from a minority party can gum up the grand plans of the majority party - for good or bad. When faced with such a prospect, the usual solution is compramise. When nominations are fillabustered, the usual course is to find another nomination that is less objectional. I think this is a good system.

But it is not a good enough system for the current republican party. No - they want total control. A handful of judical nominations, about 5%, have been fillabustered by democrats. This means that 95% have not. As a result, the republican party brought up the prospect of a rule change preventing any fillabuster - the so called nuclear option.

The republican party claims that the nominations "deserve an up or down vote". In reality, they do not "deserve" anything! No nominee is entitled to a vote. They might get a vote, or they might get blocked. This is all they deserve.

The republicans claimed that the democrats are obstructionists, because they have blocked 5% of the nominations. Compare that to 1 out of 3 Clinton nominees being blocked by the republicans during the height of the "republican revolution". 5% VS 33%, and the democrats are obstuctionists. Talk about fuzzy math!

Also, consider what the same republican party would be saying IF the democrats tried to change the rules when they were the party in power. What would today's consertives be saying in that case? Would they support the idea, like they do now?

The democrats have NO SPINE! They should not have backed down on this one. They should have allowed Bill Frist to invoke the nuclear option, so America could see what the GOP version of the way things should be really is. One party with all the power, kind of like the communist party in Cuba or the nazi party in WWII Germany. I think that in this case, reasonable people in America would see the danger in one party having all the power, and would have voted out the republicans in 2006.

On the other hand, voters might have agreed with such an action, in which case it would be a signal that our nation was on a decline, spiriling downward to facism or something else just as bad or worse.

The minority party, no matter which party that is, NEEDS TO HAVE SOME POWER! My opinion is that America needs a viable third party, so that the power base can be split 3 ways. This would make bills even harder to pass through congress, and would make overturning a veto almost impossible. In such a case the people would win, less bills means less laws which can only mean one thing - MORE FREEDOM!

Of course, the right wingers will disagree. To them, as long as they consolidate their power the Constitution can be used as toilet paper. Taking over the Senate? No problem! As long as Bush gets all the nominations he wants. Activist judges? Those are fine, so long as they are republican activists.

The only good thing would be when the democrats took back the power. Then we could all watch the same republicans who wanted to change the rules cry a river because they were shut out.

Lord, save us from Court TV!

I wrote before about crappy TV, and apparently the industry did not listen to what I had to say. Therefore, I must write some more.

Court TV has to be the WORST STATION EVER! I had a TV accident today any tuned into them for about 2 minutes. That was all I could stand without blowing my brains out with a 12 gauge shotgun.

The MJ molestation case is very close to being over. Nobody knows what the jury will decide. NOBODY! So really, there is nothing to say about the case right now. But Court TV has to fill hours and hours of air time with something – so they MAKE SHIT UP! That’s right; they just sit around and make stuff up. For the few minutes I had that station on all they did was speculate about the meaning of the vests that the molester wore.

Does the clothes someone wears to court have any meaning? HELL NO! Even a retarded Dade County Parks Department employee working at a boat ramp knows that. But yet, that bitch that I can not stand was running her yap ad nausea about the topic.

Someone PLEASE do the world a favor and cram something in her mouth to shut her up! Then give her an angry dragon. Maybe some bukkake is in order for her. ANYTHING TO SHUT HER UP!!!!! PLEASE!!!

For the record, the Lazy Iguana thinks that the jury will find MJ not guilty, even though he probably did fondle little boys. Too many idiots in America are obsessed with celebrities, and loose what little intelligence they have when they see one. MJ is about as famous as you can get. Even if he stood up in court and said “I touched his winkie” the jury would come up with a not-guilty verdict. It is not about evidence or reasonable thinking in cases involving famous people, it is all about the defense filling the jury box with star struck, celebrity obsessed, autograph seeking idiots.

Just ask OJ.

We don't need no steenking Stem Cells!

Stem Cells are back in the news again! Of course this is not really shocking, the politics behind cells are very well known. The pro-life side is adament that everybody should agree with them, that human life begins when you think about having sex, and that anything short of that is a moral sin. The other side is more reasonable.

Now allow me to defend that statement. NOBODY on the other side is saying that people have to use stem cells. Nobody is saying that doctors can force people to accept treatment that involves stem cells. But the pro-life side IS saying that even if stem cells can help you, too friggin bad. You can not use them. You have to be able to afford to travel to Europe and pay for your treatment with cash, which the people in power can afford to do.

The problem is that the rest of the world is not so hung up in this issue. Other nations already allow stem cell research. We run the very real risk of LOOSING our top researchers and doctors when they move to another country because they can not do anything in the USA. We run the risk of not being the nation on the cutting edge anymore.

If I need a new kidney or liver, and stem cells can make one for me - I want that kidney. If I have a spinal cord injury, I want it fixed. I do not want some moralist telling me some bullshit about what they believe I should do.

Do you think that even the most hard line pro-lifer would not do whatever they could to save someone they loved? Do you think that any of them would tell their child "sorry, god wants you to live for the rest of your life in a wheel chair on a ventalator because you hit your head in the car accident"?? Well maybe some would, but most would do what any parent would do - tell the doctors to do whatever they could. And if the answer was to use stem cells, I bet that their moral views would change, long enough for their child to be helped. Then it would be back to business as usual. The people leading the "choose life" movement can afford to seek medical care in other nations that allow stem cell research, so even if they block such treatment in the USA they can decide to take a family vacation to Canada or Europe - and while there maybe visit a doctor secretly.

On the other hand, if you need some treatment and the doctors tell you that the treatment requires the use of stem cells - you can still assert your moral beliefs. You can refuse treatment. You can say "no thanks, I am not no baby killer". You can choose death or a life in a wheelchair attached to an iron lung for yourself, your spouse, or your children. That is what America is all about - you having the right to decide for yourself what is best for you and your family!

I am just asking that you DO NOT choose the same for me. I am an adult, I can make my own choices. I do not need, nor do I want, your "moral guidence".

Retarded County Employees

I thought Dade County did not hire total retards. Well, I was wrong. They recruit straight from the special olympics. The worst part is they do not hire the person who wins the gold medal. They hire the people that get the ribbon for trying.

So why would I say this? Get ready, this might take some time.

Today I decided to use my boat. I like using my boat. I get to drink beer and hang out on the water, where no assholes can piss me off. Except for when I am at the boat ramp.

Dade County used to have a guy at the boat ramp that would collect your user fee ($10) then hand you a ticket you left on your dashboard to show you paid. This system worked perfectly. So, Dade County decided to fuck it all up.

They got rid of the guy in the booth and replaced him with automated pay stations. First off, it SUCKS ASS when some stupid machine takes over the job of a HUMAN BEING. Fuck the machines.

To make matters worse, there was a guy who did not speak english that insisted that I pay before I park. Why does this matter? Obviously you never launched a boat.

I trailer my boat. So after I put the boat in the water, I had a truck and an empty boat trailer. When I went to park the truck (to get it out of the way) the no-speak-english guy would not let me. So, I had to leave my truck where it was, get out, and pay. Meanwhile my truck and trailer was blocking up the works so nobody behind me could move. This caused people waiting to launch their boats to sit there, looking at usused boat slips that they could not get to because there were a bunch of empty trailers blocking them because I was using the pay station.

I tried to tell the retard that I was going to pay, but first I needed to get the trailer out of everyone's way. But NOOOOOOOO that would be too easy. The retard insisted that I pay first, blocking everything.

I did call the guy the following: dick head, moron, and fucking idiot - all in the same sentence. I am going to send angry hate mail to the county after I finish my beer.

Flushing the Koran

Here we go again! As if that whole prision torture thing were not enough, now there are reports that prisioner's copies of the koran were ripped up and flushed down the toilet, apparently as a way to make them talk. I have to wonder what goon came up with this idea.

Of course someone leaked, and now the world knows about it. In the muslim world, this is a big deal. Imagine the fuss that the born agains in charge of the republican party would make if copies of the bible were ripped up and thrown into porta-potties at a gay rally? They would be outraged! How dare someone desicrate the holy book! And so on. But, when it is someone elses holy book, aparantly it is OK.

In the middle east, the fundamentalist islamic crazy people are saying that the west hates islam, that the christian and jewish crusaders want to take over all muslim holy land, and so on. We say it is not true, we just want to spread "freedom" and "liberty" - but then we use their bible as toilet paper. This action only gives credibility to the crazy towel wearing fundies. What would you believe if you were a muslim, the guys who are using your "word of god" as toilet paper, or the priest who says the west hates you?

No matter how you look at the situation, it was a stupid move. As long as stuff like this keeps happening, things will not get better. At times like this, I seriously question the motive for moving to war in the first place. What are we really trying to do in the middle east? If the answer is to really spread freedom, this is an ass backwards way of doing so.

Congress continues it's obsession of drugs

This just in - three members of congress (more than likely republicans) want to introduce a law that would require drug testing for professional sports. Will it ever end?

Why do I think that the three members are republicans? Simple - they are now the party of micromanagement. They are doing this in the name of "morality" and "values". Also, it distracts people from the mess in the middle east.

What happened to the republican party that was for LESS government interference? Remember that party? Now, they are obsessed with pandering to the evangelical conservative christians. Any law, no matter how intrusive, is too much for them - as long as the law can be justified as moral or value based. Take gay marriage. I personally do not care if two twinks want to get married. Why would same sex weddings "de-value" the family? Just because two men get married, I am suddenly going to shun my family? Not likely. They (the christians) will claim that a marriage is something done before god - hogwash! A marriage (as far as States are concerned) is a LEGAL CONTRACT entered into by two people. You can have a judge marry you, you can have a justice of the peace marry you, and in Las Vegas you can have some dude dressed up like Elvis marry you. In every state - such secular marriages are JUST AS VALID as if the Pope performs the ceremony. Nobody is telling churches that they must perform gay marriages, but churches are trying to tell states, and the federal government, what contracts they should recognize as valid.

If you ask me, what cheapens marriage more than same sex weddings is the high divorce rate in our society. Nobody is talking about that. No churches want to make divorce illegal. And nobody wants to explore why divorce is so common - namely our economic system. The American Dream is now defined as a nice home full of nice things, a cool car, snappy clothes, etc. Your "success" is judged by how much useless crap you have. The family that always buys used cars, that shops for clothes at discount stores, that has old furniture, that does not have a flat screen HDTV - but where the husband and wife have stayed married are not as successful as people who have a new BMW, leather couches, a new boat, and are divorced. THAT is what has cheapened the family, not gay people.

Anyway, back to drug testing professional athletes. While I do not care about sports in the slightest, I think that congress needs to worry about other things. The government has no right to tell employers who they can and can not hire - it should be up to the employer. Obviously, employers that use discriminatory practices in regard to race, national origin, physical disability, etc SHOULD be illegal. But the choice to drug test or not is not something government needs to worry about. Do I care if some football player is on drugs? Not really.

Now I know that some people might say "but sports holes are role models for children!" Here is what I think of that. The only reason your kids idolize some idiot that can catch a ball is because YOU the parent thought them to me. My dad was never a big sports fan. He would watch the Stupid Bowl, but that is about it. As a consequence, I never looked up to any athlete. So do not cry to me that your kids think that someone who is barely literate is a hero.

Sports is a national sickness. Kids grow up thinking that celebrities and athletes can do whatever they want. Who cares if you get bad grades, as long as you can throw a ball! Who cares if you can not read, as long as you can hit a ball with a stick! But do not use drugs! Kids look up to you! We do not care if kids can not read, or do math - as long as they are not on drugs!

Besides, public schools can always be blamed when kids can not read. Then vouchers can be issued, removing money from the public system and shifting it to private systems. Once there is no more public system, the takeover will be complete. People without a lot of money will have to send their kids to second rate private schools (old computers, old books, non-certified teachers, etc), while the wealthy will send their kids to schools with the best everything. This is much better than fixing the public system.

Hurricane Hysteria

Here we go again. Just because one year ago Florida got hit with five named storms, people are starting to go crazy. There is a hurricane out there now, but it is in the PACIFIC OCEAN (and is therefore a typhoon).

Florida, in case you do not know, is in the Atlantic Ocean.

But you would not know this if you watch the TV weather people. Yea, the thing is supposedly going to pass over Central America and end up in the Carribean Sea - but so what?!? Is a little rain such a big deal when you live in a friggin SWAMP and it is summer time? Really now.

People need to chill out.

And TV weather goons are idiots.

Drug Test Congress

In the latest act of insanity, the Congress of the USA has decided to hold hearings on products that claim to be able to defeat drug tests. Like there is nothing else more important for congress to hold hearings on - for example the food for oil scandal. Yes, some slimeballs in DC are trying to blame all the problems in Iraq on the UN. EXCUSE ME!??!?! The UN did not decide to invade the place. People like George Galloway of Scotland are right to speak up.

Anyway, I am veering off subject. Congress wants to hold hearings on and possibly (likely) ban products advertised to help beat the drug test. I believe there is only ONE foolproof way to cheat the drug test - you study for at least 1 month. After 1 month of not using drugs, even Cheech and/or Chong could pass a drug test. Those teas and pills and crap do not work all the time. And they will NOT work for random tests, when your employer hands you a cup and says "pee in this by the end of the day". The only time the products might work is for pre-employment screening.
So now Congress is going to pass laws about what I can and can not do to my piss. Is this not totally insane? I do not think the "fool the drug test" products actually work, which is why the companies that sell the products refused to testify.

Yea, you might know some guy who smokes pot and passed a random test. He might claim that it was due to detox tea. Maybe it was, OR maybe he got lucky and his test was a false negative (the pee test is the least accurate way to test for drugs, hair is the most accurate). Give Mr. Pot Head 10 drug tests and you will see his luck change. It is all a matter of odds.

Therefore, I propose that we DRUG TEST ELECTED OFFICALS! You know some of them are smoking something. How else would they know about all the products that claim to help pass a drug test? They must be shopping for them.

As for me, I quit smoking pot a number of years ago because I was going to graduate from college and figured that I might want a job. Knowing the only way to pass a piss test 100% of the time was to go clean - I did. I ran out of my last bag of weed on Thanksgiving Day 2001 and never bought more. I can pass drug tests all day and night. Will I ever smoke again? Most likely, yes I will. But not anytime soon. I have to get a better job first.

And Congress - please STOP WASTING MY TAX MONEY! If you want to hold hearings on something, hold them on something of substance, not baseball players using roids or fake products that do not help you pass a drug test.

Ass-kicking beer

I had some beer imported from Germany. Can you get this same beer?? NOT A CHANCE! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

It came from a brew house (Germany is full of them). Brew houses are like brew pubs in the USA (or for those who do not drink, resturants that happen to brew their own beer). For a while, brew pubs were the latest craze in America, but like all fads they died out. Too bad too - just goes to prove that most Americans have very poor taste. That or they would rather go to the supermarket, buy some cheap lousy mass produced swill, and drink it in their front yard (while roasting a possum in you live in the deep south). YEE-HAW!

Anyway, this stuff was poured from a tap into a bottle then capped. Imagine that - in Germany you CAN get beer to go just like you can get food to go. It is not illegal to walk out of a pub with a liter (quart for those who are metric impared) of your favorite beer. In FloriDUH doing that would make me and the bartender a criminal. And I live "in the land of the free".

Sometimes, I think that Canada should liberate us. Or better yet, I should invent a time machine and STOP the American Revolution from happening. Then we would be part of the UK. I do not think that people in the UK have less freedom than we have in the USA. If only King George had allowed the American Colonies to have seats in Parliment all that time ago. That is what the Founding Fathers really wanted, representation. Choice B was to revolt from the crown.

And so what - the queen would be on our money, not some dead white guy. Our money would be worth more than the euro, making all imports cheap (except imports from England). Other than that would things be any different? Not really.

And I would be able to get beer to go in FloriDUH. Let freedom ring.

TV sucks ass

What the hell happened to TV? There used to be shows worth watching. Cable TV used to be cool. But not anymore!

Networks are hung up on "reality" shows. Putting a bunch of goobers on a beach is NOT reality. Making people eat gross stuff is NOT reality. Taking a bunch of misfits and making them live together is NOT reality. Swapping moms is NOT reality. Reality is boring. A true reality show would be the "get up and go to work" show, or the "my job sucks and my boss is an asswad" show. It might even be the "my life sucks and I don't know why I have not killed myself yet" show. Network reality shows are about as real as a jewish pope. But idiots keep watching them!

Then there is that crappy American Idol show. Remember the days when you had to know how to sing AND write your own music? American Idol should be renamed "people really good at karaoke". The show blows.

Cable TV used to hold a lot of promise. I remember going from 5 or 6 local channels to about 30 or so channels in 1980 or 81, just in time for MTV (when they played music). There were so many empty channels, and so many possibilities! It was very exciting.

But look at what we have. 2 C-SPAN channels??? WHY?!?!?! But C-SPAN is not the worst. Court TV is. It is even worse than the evil Fox News Network. They take one case at a time and pick it apart down to the smallest detail. And for what?? Does anyone really give a shit? Who wants to sit at home and watch a trial? People will do ANYTHING to get out of jury duty, but then plop their asses on the sofa and watch a trial on TV? I blame OJ for this shit, before his trial no trials were covered gavel to gavel. For that matter, there were few "high profile" cases.

But now you have 4 or so cable news networks, that each have to fill 24 hours a day with something. So they cover things to death. CNN will pick up a story, like the bitch bride who bailed, then not to be left out Fox and MSNBC and all the rest jump in. Then they all compete to see who can say the most about it. They create "high profile" cases that nobody really gives a shit about, then court tv covers the trial. And if the judge has brains and keeps cameras out of the court room, they sit around all day speculating and making shit up while showing water color paintings of the "action". AND PEOPLE WATCH IT! They will spend hours discussing what clothes the defendant wore that day, or speculate on what their choice in shoes means. Legal "experts" have a big on air circle jerk making stuff up, then arguing about whose made up shit is probably correct.

And right now as type, people are tuned into Court TV waiting for the latest in the Michael Jackson case. All the "news" networks are playing along, not to be outdone by another channel.
It is almost like there is nothing else going on EXCEPT for the fluff they report on. Is there some kind of war going on? Nobody would know by watching CNN!

A picture is worth a thousand words

It is a really nice day outside. Not too hot, not raining, not very windy - just nice.

BUT - of course, people can not leave well enough alone. Some jackass has decided to share their music with the whole neighborhood, and drive around in a riced out piece of shit car and share even more music. To make matters worse, there is a whole pack of rice mobiles driving around doing the same. There is apparently an asshole convention going on at my block.

I have a message for people that buy Honda Accords then decide that they are race cars. GET A CORVETTE YOU JACKASS! Your 4 door sedan is not, and never will be, a race car. I do not give a shit how loud your muffler is.

I feel like hitching up my boat, towing it to the right of way in front of the asshole convention, getting a very long garden hose, and then starting the boat engine. Outboard boat engines use the water as a muffler, so on dry land they are VERY loud. And the funny part is the boat probably has more horsepower then 3/4 of the rice mobiles with the oversize pipes.



How I really feel (stolen from THIS SITE)

Scooby Doo

For some reason, I am watching Scooby Doo. And not the good Scooby Doo (the 70s version) but the crappy new one. It sucks.

But anyway, upon watching it I wonder why the morality police have not attacked this cartoon. The moral majority types love to attack cartoons after all. It is what they do. They seem to be able to find "the homosexual agenda" or "moral decay" in almost everything they see.

Take poor Spongebob for example. Normal people watch Spongebob and just wish they had access to the same quality drugs that the guy who creates the show is on. But when the morality police watch it they see gayness and the "homosexual agenda". How can a sponge or a starfish be gay? I just do not get it.

Anyway, they seem to have totally overlooked Scooby Doo. I am of course talking about the 1970s version of the show. I will now break it down for you.

1. Scooby and Shaggy. Obviously, these characters are hard core stoners. They say things like "zoinks" and are always looking for munchies. Now I have smoked my fair share of pot (the good stuff too, not that street crap) and I have never once said "zoinks". For Shaggy to say it must really mean he burns a lot of weed. I am thinking an ounce a day. Minimum.

2. Fred. He is a flaming homo. Big time flamer. He never tried to get into Daphnie's pants, and he wears an ascot. In every episode, he and Daphnie are one team (they always seem to ditch Velma, or send her off with the stoners). And what does Fred do? Does he sneak off to The Mystery Machine to do the nasty? NO! He actually tries to solve the mystery. Either Daphnie is Fred's sister, or Fred is a homo.

3. Velma. She is lezbo. And a butch lezbo at that. She tries her best to look like a dude, and has some strange need to always solve the mystery. It is like she is trying very hard to show up Fred and the stoners so that everyone knows that Velma wears the pants. I am surprised that she never pimp slapped Fred and drove the van, making Fred sit bitch with Daphnie on her lap.

4. Daphnie. She is just a ditz. Her elevator does not go to the top floor. She is a few fries short of a happy meal. You get the idea. She is the kind of chick you can talk into doing just about anything (which is more proof Fred is a homo, he could probably talk Daphnie into going down then give her the angry dragon as a joke). I also think that Daphnie would be just as likely to hop in the sack with a dude as with another chick.

So there you go. My analysis of Scooby Doo. I hope you like it. With all these deviant lifestyles promoted to kids who watched the original Scooby Doo, it is a wonder that any of us turned out to be normal. With Fred the fag, Velma the butch, Daphnie the dumb bi, and Shaggy and Scooby the stoners - and millions of people my age who used to watch the show daily - it kind of shoots the theory in the ass that cartoons on TV can spread any agenda.

Now if you will excuse me, I have a big fat joint that needs to be lit, and I have to solve the mystery of "where the hell did I leave my bong at".

United Airlines Sucks

So, United Airlines decided to STIFF employees by defaulting on the pension plan. What a wonderful company. Top level managers are obviously trying to save whatever stock value they can, so that when the company finally dies they can sell the assets for the full value and still make something. Who cares if the employees who worked there for years get screwed as a result.

This is a prime example of WHY ADAM SMITH WAS WRONG. In case you do not know, Adam Smith first wrote about the idea that government should have a "hands off" policy towards business (see The Wealth Of Nations). This might have been find and dandy in Smith's time when most people were farmers, but it was not long before the truth came out.

During the period of the industrial revolution, a few men became very VERY rich. Unimaginably rich. This is the period of the Robber Barons. People, for the first time, did not have to farm. They could (in theory) work at a factory, make a wage, then buy food from the farmer. So, what went wrong.

Greed. The Robber Barons could never have enough money. The goal then was to become a monopoly, so that you had no competition. Factories were not made to be safe, they were made to maximize profit for the owner. Wages were kept low so that workers would depend on the meager pay to live. Few people had very much money to "save", investing for retirement was only for the rich.

So the government stepped in. The hands off policy failed, it led to a system of monopolies, low wages, unsafe conditions, and a few very rich men. Monopolies were busted up, labor unions formed, workers got things like "weekends" and factories that had working fire escapes, and wages went up. The few rich men were still very rich, but their monopolies were busted up. America became better as a result.

But all this is forgotten by too many. More and more politicians of ONE party keep talking that "hands off" is the best policy, that government should not get involved with business. We already tried that and it was not good.

So how does this relate to the United Pension Fund? The company executives decided to let the fund default, because it will make them (top management) more money when the airline is sold off. The quasi-government fund that will take over only has to pay 2/3 of the value of each pension. So people who worked hard, followed the rules, and paid into the system instantly loose 33% of their money. That is going to hurt a lot of people.

If the "hands off" theory were in place, the pension would have ZERO value. Many retired people would be forced into poverty overnight. They would have to sell everything they own just to eat. This is just not right.

Adam Smith was wrong. Left alone, big business would rather screw employees than treat them fairly. Think about this next time you hear some blow hard politician on TV saying otherwise. Read some history books. Talk to old people about why labor unions were formed (hurry up, soon the people that are responsible for the labor movement today will die of old age).

And for the love of god - DO NOT FLY UNITED! Do not support evil corporations that would screw over retired employees. And when the airline dies, write to your elected clowns and tell them they should FORCE THE AIRLINE TO SELL OFF ENOUGH ASSETS TO FULLY FUND THE PENSION PLAN! After all, it is the right thing to do. Most people who paid into the pension worked very hard for many years. They deserve to enjoy as much of their retirement as possible, before illness and old age does its thing to them. If this means some top managers do not get a bonus, I will not cry too hard.

Pimp Your Firefox

I hope that by now you have made the switch to Mozilla Firefox. If you have not, you are retarded. Firefox totally rules. It is the king of all windows based web browsers. Dump that crappy Internet Exploder crap and go with Firefox! It is a free download.

Anyway, now that you have Firefox, you can pimp it out! Just click HERE and download the theme for free. It is tacky, overdone, it is Pimpzilla. Yea!

What Jeb should eat.

Jeb, the governor of Florida (in case you do not know) should shut up and eat urinal mints. Why would I make such a statement? Good question.

Last November, the State Constitution was changed to allow 2 counties in FL (Dade and Broward) to hold local elections to decide if Vegas style slot machines should be allowed at horse racing tracks. The measure passed, barely, largely due to heavy support in Dade and Broward Counties. The redneck parts of FL did not want it, because somehow it will ruin the family friendly tourist reputation of the state. For those who do not live here, there is nothing family friendly about Dade or Broward Counties. In Miami, the popular areas all involve night clubs, drinking, drugs, and the like. Families do not go to South Beach nightclubs.

Anyway, in the second election Broward County voters said yes to slot machines. This is where the assmunch governor showed his true colors.

Jeb never wanted the slots. The holy religious right wing, who he views as his ticket to the 2008 presidency, made a big stink about it. Oddly enough, the redneck parts of FL would never vote to get rid of alcohol, even if people do abuse it. But the fact that some people might become addictive gamblers bothers them. Go figure.

Now regardless of how you personally feel about slot machines (I like video poker, but that's about it) THE PEOPLE VOTED AND SAID YES! But to Jeb, that does not matter. He had some cronies in the State House Of representatives draft a proposal that would set such crazy regulations that the slots would never have a chance. In doing this he is saying "I do not care what the people voted for, I know better than they do what is good for them". Dictators do this shit. Despots do this shit. Nazis do this kind of shit.

So America - these are the facts. If you keep electing politicians who will not do what the people want, you will end up with a dictator. Don't think this can happen in America? Well then just remember this - Hitler was democratically elected. Once in power he did away with elections, set up the secret police, brainwashed the youth, and started a terrible world war.

I am not saying that any elected official is anything like Hitler. Anyone who really thinks that is crazy. Get real for a second please. I AM saying that allowing politicians to thwart the will of the voters with legislation is VERY DANGEROUS. Even if George or his brother Jeb are not full fledged nazis (they are more like Franco really), who knows what turd will float up in 15 or 20 years. People that are sitting back, not paying attention, going along with it, and not getting upset ARE PAVING THE ROAD FOR THE NEXT HITLER TO TAKE OVER! Like I said, it will not be in the next election, nor in the election after the next election. That is too soon. But 25 years down the road? Maybe.

And once it happens, it will be too late to do anything. The secret police will be in place, the youth will be brainwashed, your neighbors will be spies, and your ass will be in jail.

Give me a MAN HUG!

Who do you think gets to be on top?


awwww...Ain't it sweet...what a cute couple

Assholes on parade (and more boobies)

First, click HERE for the boobies. If you are under 18 (mentally or physically) do not click HERE. Click somewhere else (but watch out for Bert and Ernie - they are twinks)

OK, now that is out of the way and you have rubbed yourself raw I can get on with the REAL good stuff. Assholes on parade.

I blame the public at large for the hostile takeover of America by assholes. Yes - it is YOUR fault. This is what happens when you would rather keep your big fat ass on the couch watching gay shit than keep up with what is going on around you. And yes, football IS GAY. Think about it, a bunch of MEN wearing SPANDAX pants playing with BALLS and slapping each other on the ASS after they SCORE. Sounds gay as a five way circle jerk with Richard Simmons as the pivot man to me.

First, I call your attention to story 1. In Texas, it is now against the law for cheerleaders to "shake it" during routines. The Texas Senate has not voted on the bill yet, but you can bet they will pass it. Now I do not know what kind of sluts the good redneck Christian people of Texas have raised, but for the state to pass a law against cheerleading the sluttiness factor must be high. Or maybe the Texas lawmakers are sex crazed maniacs, who want to fuck anything they see in a cheerleader uniform. The law does not define what "shaking it" is, it just gives the state power to punish schools if they find cheers offensive. So now we have the cheer police! GREAT! Just what we need to keep us safe! And with no clear definition of what a "suggestive cheer" is, ANYTHING could be deemed offensive. So what are schools supposed to do? Here is my suggestion that will make the Christian Taliban in Texas happy.

1. Change cheerleader uniforms to burkas
2. NO DANCING! Dancing leads to body parts moving! It is disgusting
3. NO CHEERING! Cheering might lead to an accidental jump which might cause body parts to jiggle.
4. ONLY CHURCH MUSIC! No more marching bands. Equip all football fields with a pipe organ.

Now onto the next item. In Michigan, a marching band was told not to play "Louie Louie" during a parade. That's right, some ass clown superintendent told a Middle School band not to play "Louie Louie". Why? Because it has "suggestive lyrics" HUH?!?!?! We are talking about a BAND here, nobody was going to sing anything. Also, most people do not know this but the FBI wasted two years investigating the song. They interviewed teenagers who claimed to know the lyrics, they collected letters from concerned parents, they played the song forwards and backwards at different speeds - and concluded what we all know. The song in unintelligible at any speed. This was in the 1960s. But now, after 40 years AND an exhaustive investigation by the FBI, some ass clown dumb shit is still making a fuss over it.

Wake up people. You need to STOP THE INSANITY and start telling these assholes to cut the shit. If you (YES YOU) keep letting the asshole parade continue everything fun will be illegal, and the church police will arrest anyone who does not report to church every Sunday.

Not again!

Once again, a photo stolen from here. I do not know if this is a real work of art or not, but if you know please leave me a comment. Supposedly, this is in a church or monastery somewhere.


I like the boobies!

Work VS Jail

Just in case you can not tell the difference in work and jail, I stole this checklist from some joke of the day site. Actually I stole it from an e-mail sent by someone who stole it from a joke of the day site.

Prison vs Work

Just in case you ever get these two environments mixed up, this should make
things a little bit clearer.

IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK..........you have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON..........they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you aren't even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON.........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK............you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK ...........you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON .........you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...........they are called managers.

Fucktards

My favorite place in the universe is out of double IPA. This kind of sucks. Actually, it DOES suck. I liked that double IPA. It had a shit load of hops, and enough malt to give it a 9% or so alcohol content. Now I have to drink more beer I guess. Oh well.

It rained today. Not that this is a big deal, I do live in South Florida. But everyone acted like they had never seen rain before. I am surrounded by fucktards. I can not get away from them. I would like to get the hell out of this shithole, but where would I go? I hate the cold, so the frozen north is out. Fucking idiot inbred toothless trailer park living redneck assholes piss me off, so the entire deep south is out. Pretty much I would have to leave the USA, which I can not afford to do. I am boned. If I could afford it, I would buy a fucking nice sailboat and leave. I would just sail away, and to hell with everyone and everything. They can all give me a rim job. They can mine for fudge with their tounge, so that I can give them a dutch oven.

At any rate. when my sailboat pulled into port I would be in Bermuda or the Brittish Virgin Islands. It would be nice there. I would live on my boat, and the main sail would have a huge sign stiched into it reading "GO AWAY ASSHOLE. LEAVE ME ALONE. I HAVE A GUN. APPROACH AT YOUR OWN RISK.". The name of the boat would be "I Hate Fucktards". Maybe I could install .50 caliber machine guns on the boat, that ought to keep people away. Better yet, have those guns connected to the ship radar so that I can lay waste to assholes in zero visibility.

But all this is pointless. I can not afford a large enough sailboat. I can afford more beer, so I suppose this will have to do for now. I am entitled to one vice god damn it, and I choose beer. I could give a shit less about wine or hard liqour, but I will drink that too - if I like it. Most hard liqour I do not like, unless it is in the form of a mixed drink. I do not like to do shots really. I had to give up weed to have a job. Fucking piss nazis. Do not get me started about them. It is perfectly fine for me to drink all the booze I want but if I smoke a plant I am a criminal. Have hippy pot heads ever started a war? NO! How about a fight? NO! Potheads loose their car keys and by the time they find them they have forgotten where they wanted to go. Pot is soooo much better than alcohol. People stoned are less violent and less likely to kill someone in a car than a drunk. But all this is pointless, what is legal is legal and what is not is not. Potheads forget to organize, so it is unlikely that things will ever change. On election day pot heads get up, smoke, forget that they should vote, then look for Doritos.

Anyway, I forgot what I originally wanted to say. I think it had something to do with not being able to get more Double IPA. But the title is fucktards. I confused myself. Fucking fucktard fuckers. Is "fucking fucktards fuckers" a complete sentence? Lets see here. Fucking can be a verb, but combined with the word fucktards (a noun) is is more like another noun. And in this case, "fuckers" is a verb, so I guess it is a complete sentence. My english teachers would be so proud of me. I be edumacated.

Fuck you.

Work

I do not get rich people. Take the current president for example. He was born rich. He really does not need a job. It is not like he would have to apply for food stamps if he lost his job.

But yet, here he is. Trying to run the fucking planet. And for what?? Ill tell you what - EGO. Pure and simple. Ego! That's all. He gets to be on TV, everyone knows who he is, and he can help make himself and his friends even richer. Meanwhile, he claims to "understand middle America". My ass! If you think he has ever once had to decide what bill to pay late you are a fucking retard.

Anyway, I am not picking on the president. That is far too easy. You can apply the example of the president to any rich asshole. Take Bill Gates. Does he really need his job??? HELL NO! Yet he keeps showing up to work. For Donald Trump, being a rich asshole with either a terrible haircut or a toupee that looks like a dead muskrat was not enough. Not for him! He needed a TV show too. What a douch bag. By the way Donald - get rid of the muskrat on your head. Just be bald. If that is your real hair, tell the barber "Your Fired". Holy shit man.

So what would I do if I had even 10% of Bill Gates's wealth? As little as possible that's what. I would not have anything that resembled a job or do anything that could be considered work. I would not give a flying fuck about being on TV. Run for president?!?!?! NO FUCKING WAY! Way too much work.

What I would do is just hang out. I would start hanging out in Las Vegas. I have been there before, but what the hell. It would take me a few days to get bored. Then I would rent a classic car (you can do that in Vegas) and explore. After a few more days I would be bored again. So I would get on a plane and go someplace. I would hang out there till I got bored, then I would go someplace else!

I would also have a boat. Probably two boats. Maybe even three boats. A sweet ass pimpin power cat, a kickin trimaran sailboat, and something smaller for fishing. But fuck work! No way in hell you would see me doing that.

I would waste ungodly amounts of money on stupid shit I really do not need. I would live in every major city on the planet at least once.

My goal would be to die knowing that the last check I write to my doctor will bounce.

But one thing is written in stone - I would in no way do anything that resembles a job. Fuck that shit in the goat ass. Rich people that could do all of the above but would rather wake up in the morning and go to work are fucking insane.

Jenna is hot, and other assorted shit.

First off, I have to say something. Jenna Bush is hot. VERY hot. Scorching hot. There - now nobody can say that I hate republicans, although who knows what her political leanings actually are. Anyway, I could care less - she is hot enough. In case you are retarded, there is a link in this paragraph. The first photo at this link is NOT Jenna, but the next few appear to be - but more than likely they are fakes. Don't forget to check out the interactive boobies, click the link and scroll all the way to the bottom of the page.

***NOTICE***
The above link is good only for today. Tomorrow some other chick will be there. Also, do not send me the hate mail. Send all hate mail to the site that actually has the photos. I did not take them OR post them - I just included a link. So stuff it up your ass if you do not like it. Besides, chances are the photos are a fake. Lighten up you closet facist!

There! I feel so much better now.

Since I am talking about chicks, and since you might actually be a chick, I am going to type more random rantings.

It seems that I am running into more and more vegetarian chicks. Not that I really care what another person's eating habits are. Honestly, it is none of my business who eats what, as long as my pets are not on the menu. Maybe I ought to change my diet, which is rather heavy on the cow and pig and light on veggies. The way I see it, let the rabbit eat the carrots then I can eat the rabbit. In theory, it is like I am eating the carrot too. I suppose. I have had some vegetarian dishes, and they were pretty good. Of course, I was also very hungry. But still, they were good.

Of course I will never kick the cow habit. Never. Nor will I ever kick my baby back ribs habit. I don't give a rats ass what you PETA people say about it, the shit is tasty.

Now I am not of shit to say. It is my fault really, I have vodka right here. I could drink it then come up with a whole lot more stuff - but I have to go to work. Work sucks. I do not hate my job, but it still sucks that I have to go to it. I would much rather be 31, retired, and set for life. Then I could do whatever I wanted to do. Hell, if I were rich and retired my ass would be in Amsterdam right now consuming shit that is illegal here in the "Land Of The Free". Fuck work.

Why licensing is a good thing

Now I am no big fan of over regulation, but there is something I DO think is a good idea. Licensing. Nobody is born knowing how to do things like drive or shoot. But here in Florida, the hardest thing about getting a drivers license is proving you are not an illegal immigrant. The road test is a joke. Blind people pass it. Drivers in Miami suck as a result.

You do not need any kind of license to operate a boat. All you need to do is buy one, and put it in the water. This results is all sorts of madness on the water. I have a boat, and I am not trying to sound like I am the world's best boater - I am not. But at least I kinda sorta know the rules. I try to stay in channels, and I try to abide by slow speed / no wake signs.

The worst thing is with guns. To get a concealed carry permit in Florida you do NOT have to actually shoot a gun. You just take some lame ass class, pay the state the fee, and you are Rambo. Nowhere does the law require you to demonstrate even basic marksmanship abilities. So you can get a license to carry without EVER ONCE shooting the gun. Now if you are a paranoid right wing lunatic who only cares about the second amendment, you probably think this is a good thing. But really now - do you want some jackass who can not hit the side of a barn packing heat? My paranoid "everyone is a gun grabber" friend, you know as well as I do that if you never practice, you will not be able to hit your target. Bullets that miss will go somewhere and hit something - maybe you! Maybe your dog!

If you are going to carry a gun, you ought to know how to use it. The ONLY way to guarantee that people do this is to REQUIRE them to attend a shooting class given by a NRA instructor. They should have to qualify with whatever gun they intend to carry. It will not "take away" your rights, it will just make those who do carry at least know the basics of shooting.


Throttle back dude!