Hurricane Season 09 Begins

But not today. Monday is actually the first day of Hurricane Season 09.

I am pretty much used to the drill. Nobody does anything. Sure, the TV people are all like "get your kit together" and "buy your crap".

But that is a scam. Nobody will actually heed the advice. I know I will not.

It is a good idea. Right now you can get anything you would want. Since nobody is going to buy squat, the stores will be full.

However, there is no urgency. Therefore there is no fun.

The truth is there is not a lot for me to do. All the windows in this place are impact resistant - no shutters needed. This is really good, as the old method of having to put up shutters sucked ass. It required much effort. So it would always get put off. And then it was the same shit every storm. You get the plywood shutters out and discover that some of the shutters are either rotted or so warped that they are cracking. So you have to go to the plywood store and get a couple of sheets.

Now you need to cut the things to length.

And then you ALWAYS need more hardware. The lead anchors seem like they will work, but a lot of times they just suck. So you get those metal concrete screws - but they suck too.

Bottom line is you ALWAYS need to go to the store to get something.

Then to make it even worse, it is now known that plywood is shit during a storm. A lot of insurance policies will not cover storm damage if all you put up is plywood. Even if you use the 5/8 thick and heavy shit, it really only offers minimal protection. They do not meet standards in South Florida.

So you think you are just going to get metal shutters huh? Well those are steel. Steel is heavy. And sharp. If you mishandle a steel shutter panel or drop it - you could get cut badly. Then you have to put up shutters AND go to the hospital. Or just say "fuck it" and drink. When the storm is almost there, as the outer bands are blowing in - show up at the emergency room all bloody and pathetic looking. Hopefully they take you in. Play the pity card.

And steel also rusts, so you still may have to replace those panels from time to time. Most likely you will discover this a day or two before a storm.

But you will get aluminum? OK that does not rust. And it is lighter. But the panels still have sharp edges. And they cost more.

But the impact windows - I am thinking that is the way to go. No need to do much of anything.

Of course there is all kinds of other things to start thinking about. Like for example, which canned food would I most like to eat for a week or so. And how do I secure the jet ski and boat? I am thinking about some dirt anchors. I am thinking of going with the aluminum "arrow head" anchors from THIS SOURCE.

I need at least 4, but 6 would be better.

But for now my plan is to do nothing. It is more fun to put things off.

Post 1,341

Yup 1,341 posts on this blog.

And who knows how many hours of my life Ill never get back.

Actually - math knows! Math knows all there is to know, assuming numbers are involved. If numbers are not involved - math is rather retarded.

Assuming a mere 10 minutes per post, times 1,341 posts, means 223.5 hours. Or 9.3125 days. 1.3303 weeks.

I would go into months, but then Ill have nothing but a zero, then a decimal point, then random numbers. And nobody pays attention to small numbers. They seem so insignificant. Laughable. This is why you do not see people expressing their height in light years. Or the dimensions of various organs.

Not you could start to express your weight in kilograms. Then if you weigh say 200 pounds, you can say that you weigh a mere 90 kilograms. Same thing, but one sounds like less than the other.

But 10 minutes per post is a low ball estimate. So even with the power of math - who knows how much time I have wasted.

It really does not matter. I really had nothing else better to do. It is sad, but the truth is often sad.

Memorial Day Weekend

Ill be back Tuesday.

Rain, Weekends, Boats, And Getting Seasick

I like getting some advance notice of things.

Like just now. The satellite TV cut out. The screen got pixelated then went black. So I knew it would rain. And then it did! Just now. And there is the thunder clap. Just one? That is odd. Usually there are more than one.

South Florida still needs the rain - so this is good!! Even though a three day weekend is approaching, anyone in FL who bitches about rain is an ass. Would you rather we not get any rain? You like taking showers right? Well guess what genius! You think that water just falls from the sky??

Oh wait - it does. Never mind. But if it does not fall from the sky, then we run out of it. So a rainy weekend is well worth it.

And speaking of three day weekends, I have yet to form a plan. All my associates are either going out of town (smart move), working, or have little projects to accomplish.

I kind of want to hit the water, but it remains to be seen if this will happen. In a way it would not be too bad if I did not do anything. I have things to do that really need to get done. Using the boat would be a wonderful excuse to not get those things done.

So maybe Ill just do some of those things, and if I want to take a break go watch a movie. That will be a whole lot cheaper than using the boat anyway.

Unless of course the schedule of some friends clears up. In that case I might have to reconsider the options.

And speaking of boats - this is fairly exciting. The chance to go hang out on an 87 foot vessel is here, and for real. I have to jump through some hoops - but the hoops have a dual payoff. I will have additional things to put on job applications and ye ole resume. This never hurts.

At first, the duties will be dockside. Lots of learning to do. I have to prove myself, and gain the confidence of others.

Once that is done, I can go to sea. And probably get somewhat seasick. Word on the street is EVERYONE gets seasick. 87 feet is really not as large as one might think it is in 4 - 6 foot ocean rollers. Sure, the sea may be at two feet or less - but it can just as easily not be that calm.

All that is part of the fun anyway. If getting seasick is not for you - then neither is going to sea.

So I will get involved in the program. The goal is worth the effort - at least in my view.

And if I puke I puke.

Land Of Extremes

NOTE - this is not a complaint post. Just an observation post.

South Florida - and Florida in general - has been experiencing a somewhat dry spell. The "winter" is normally the dry season. But "dry" is a relative term.

So is "winter". We really do not have winter as many people in the USA know it. We have hurricane season and not hurricane season. Bug season and less bugs season. And wet and dry season. Hot as hell and nice and pleasant season.

By the way, all the seasons overlap nicely. Hurricane season is associated with hot as hell season, wet season, bug season, and no snowbirds season.

Not hurricane season is associated with the others on the list.

So what does "dry" season mean? Well it means less rain. Not really no rain - just less of it.

But these past few months it has been BONE DRY. Extra dry. In some regards this has worked out OK. There are no mosquitoes! Well not as many as normal anyway. With no standing water, the only place for the bugs to lay eggs in is water that contains fish. Fish that eat mosquito larva.

Well apparently - and almost perfectly on cue - nature turned on the tap. We went from an extended period of no rain at all to three or four (I lost count) days of steady rain. Skies went from blue and clear to gray and cloudy.

Just like that. And when the rain came - it fell rather hard.

Now like I said - this is not a bitch post. We need the rain. Bad. The rain needs to continue. Maybe not as hard and fast squalls, what we really need is a good steady soaking type rain. The kind of rain that falls slowly, over a longer period of time. This way the parched Earth can soak up the water. The hard and fast stuff is mostly washed into storm drains and dumped in the many canals - which eventually dump into the sea. That does not really do much good for the rain situation.

So I welcome this rainy season. Even if that means more bugs. And lawns that grow. And all that other fun stuff associated with the wet season.

The good outweighs the bad. So long as we do not get the urban flood type rain - or some other nasty surprise.

12 Days

Hurricane season begins in 12 days.

Great. I hope it is a quiet season. Hurricanes are a pain in the ass.

But at least there is a director of FEMA. Quietly, and without much fanfare - one David Vitter (R), a Senator from (of all places) Louisiana, sat down and shut the hell up.

Finally. Because he was holding up a very important appointment.

And there is some good news! This time around, the FEMA director is actually qualified. His name is Craig Fugate. Google it if you like. He knows emergency management. And I would know.

You see, Craig Fugate is from my home state. Florida.

Here is a sampling of what he has done to be qualified to head up FEMA.

He became a volunteer firefighter in high school, like his father and his uncle. Later attended Florida State Fire College.

After Florida State Fire College he worked as a firefighter, a paramedic (all firefighter are also paramedics - not all paramedics are fire fighters), and eventually made it all the way to the rank of lieutenant in the fire department.

He served for 10 years as Alachua County's chief of emergency management.

He served for 15 years as the assissitant director for the Florida Division Of Emergency Management.

From 2001 - very recently, he was the director of the Florida Division Of Emergency Management.

During this time (2001 - 2008) Florida had the following hurricanes:

Charley, Frances, Jeanne, Ivan, Dennis, Katrina, Rita and Wilma. Charley was a major cat 4 storm by the way.

But hurricanes were not all that happened. There were also a bunch of major fires. Here is a fire map from summer 2007.


There were also floods, tornados, and all kinds of other fun things. Oh and by the way - the above fire map was drawn BEFORE the fires peaked in number and intensity.

Needless to say, the new FEMA director knows what a disaster looks like - and how to put a handle on the response.

I will not even bother to compare Craig Fugate, President Obama's first pick for FEMA - to Joe Allbaugh, the man appointed to head FEMA in 2001. What did Allbaugh's resume look like?

He worked for Oklahoma Senator Henry Bellmon in 1974. In 1984 he worked on the Reagan campaign. Then in 1986 he worked on Bellmon's staff for his successful run for Governor of Oklahoma. He later worked as deputy secretary of transportation in Oklahoma.

In 1994 he went to work for Bush, to manage his campaign for governor. He was then the chief of staff till 1999, when Bush ran for President. He worked on the Bush campaign - then in 2001 became the number 1 man in FEMA.

Not a shred of emergency management experience.

His number 2 was "Heck of a job" Michael Brown. The horse breeder with even less emergency management experience. Brown was brought into FEMA by Allbaugh as general counsel. A lawyer. Brown was good friends from way back with both Bush and Allbaugh - so he went from someone hired to give legal opinions to the number 2 for FEMA.

I feel a lot better knowing that FEMA is back in the hands of someone who knows emergency management. The current director did good for Florida, and I think he will do good for America.

Thank you Senator Vitter, for sitting down and shutting the fuck up - allowing a qualified person to take an appointment.

Beer Surprise

The first day of National Boating Safety Week went well for me. I was not involved in any boat related accident. Of course I was not actually out on the water. Not being out on the water really lowers your odds of being involved in a boating accident.

I may be out today. I have not really decided. It all depends on how motivated I get when the sun is up. If I do end up out there, it will be on the Waverunner. I know some people that will be out riding. If I go then I can meet up with them. If I do not go then I save some money by not having to get more gas.

Anyhow - the beer surprise. Hold on - you will be surprised. I know I was!

I have said before that pale ales are my preferred beer style. When I see one I have not yet tried, I am drawn to it. Like the moths I once released in the movie theater were drawn to the projection booth window - pissing everyone off except me. I thought it was amusing.

By the way - if you do something like that DO NOT laugh. When you laugh you give yourself away. You also need to have a plan to ditch the moth jar discreetly.

Anyhow, I was at the supermarket looking at the beer isle. The Sierra Nevada Pale Ale - my current favorite - was restocked. The 5 pack from a few days ago was gone. Well actually I think it was still there. Only now it is a three pack.

But every so often I scan the isle for something new. And then I saw.............


Yes - Michelob. Michelob Pale Ale.

Now I know. Michelob? What the hell? Normally, I would scoff at anything in a Michelob bottle or can.

But the label DID say "Pale Ale". My favorite of all the ales. So I just had to do it.

I put away the Sierra Nevada and picked up the Michelob.

I will also admit to being highly skeptical. I have tried the Budweiser America Ale. I was somewhat excited about the American Ale, thinking it could be on par with Samuel Adams. But I was let down. The American Ale was not at all well balanced. I think it needed more hops. Or less malt. One of the two - it is hard to tell. The bottom line is that I thought the American Ale has potential - but it is not ready for prime time yet.

So now I see Michelob Pale Ale. That is a tall order there. You are screwing with my favorite beer style here. And I put down a 6 pack of Sierra Nevada!

So I get it home, and stick it in the fridge for a couple of hours to cool down. Then I opened it.

The color is very good. I have had pale ale that was a deeper color, but a pale ale is supposed to be...well...pale. Not a brown ale, not a red ale, not a porter, not a stout - but a pale ale. So the color of the Michelob is acceptable.

But what is important is the taste.

The Michelob Pale Ale is dry hopped. This means that hops are dumped into the fermenter after the brewing is over. What this does is adds aroma without adding hops bitterness. So when you take a wiff of the Michelob, you can smell hops. It is not an overpowering nose, but it is there.

That was good.

The head is a bit weak. It goes away fairly quick. Even when you pour directly into the middle of the glass. By the way - this is the recommended method. Pout directly into the middle of an imperial pint glass - not down the side. If you want less head, you can pour about 1/4 of the beer down the side of the glass then the rest into the middle.

And now for the taste. It is actually good! I like it. I will have to compare it head to head with Sierra Nevada. I think it will come up short against Sierra Nevada, but to beat Sierra Nevada would be tough.

I think the Michelob is a tad "lighter". This makes it a better hot weather beer. Down here, when it gets hot as hell in the summer - a heavy full beer will kill you. Well not kill you, but it may not be something you want. I prefer a lighter beer when it is hot. Flavorful, yet lighter. Maybe a lower alcohol content. Something like that.

Unless I am chilling in the AC.

Anyhow - now for the rating. For a pale ale - I give it a "B". This rating is subject to change once I compare it head to head with Sierra - but it is still good, if you like pale ale.

I can easily see myself buying more of this stuff. It might even become the official boat beer of the summer - edging out the reigning champ Samuel Adams Summer Ale.

Michelob. Who would have thought?

NSBW 09

It is time for National Safe Boating Week. A week where we pay attention to boating safety.

The other 51 weeks of the year are a free for all.

Now I understand the point of these national weeks and days. Every day is national something day, every week is national something week, and every month is national something month.

By the way, this month is national hamburger month. So.....eat a bunch of hamburgers? Or maybe we are suppose to be aware of the dangers of choking on a hamburger?

Who knows.

And I am not even sure the National Hamburger Month thing is for real or not. It is just something I heard on the Jimmy Buffett channel on Sirius radio.

But back to NSBW. It is for real. A week when boating safety is promoted nationwide. Where I live boating season is all year. But for most of the USA - boating season officially opens Memorial Day weekend. Next weekend in fact. This is why NSBW is this week.

So how am I involved? In all kinds of ways. I have to be up at some unholy hour of the morning, so that I can be where I need to be in time to get things going.

The person designated to bring the coffee better come through.

Options

It is no secret I like boats.

So here is the deal. I have the opportunity to go out on a REAL boat. A US Coast Guard Cutter. Now this is not a cruise ship. First, Ill have to prove I am worthy of being a member of the crew. I do not anticipate this as being much of a problem. I am sure I can find some way to make myself seem useful.

Or at the least, I have the sense to get the hell out of the way if I get the idea I am clogging up the works.

Of course, there are other factors to consider here. The last big boat I was on was in fact a cruise ship. So the job of the entire crew was to see to it that I had fun. There were multiple bars so I did not have to wonder around looking for more things to drink. There was food available all the time. There were chairs upon which I could sit and watch the world float by. I had a cabin with a private toilet. And so on.

The cutter will probably be lacking in some of these features. I can take a pretty good guess at what features might be different.

However, the idea is still sitting there in my head. A cutter huh? Out in the open sea, doing open sea type things. On a military vessel! No telling what sorts of adventures might await me. No telling who I might be able to start a legendary brawl with at some port of call bar.

Oh wait - that is the US Navy. They have been known to get involved in this sort of thing. But then again, drunken brawling is a tradition among sailors. But that was then. In the days of yore, before there was all this "media" bullshit creating the need to maintain a "positive image".

I plan to go to the meeting to get more information. I want to see what it is all about.

Pile Of Loot

So here is what I managed to accumulate at the hurricane conference. There was a small trade show that was part of the event. Now I like trade shows. There is usually cool shit to look at. And if the trade show is half way decent - there are always free handouts.

This is what I got!

1 - portable water jug. It is called a Bagula. It was invented by someone who went to a disaster to distribute water. The people had nothing suitable to put the water into. The Bagula is a thick plastic bag. They are cheap to produce, light, an ass load of them can be transported easily, and they hold around 4 gallons each.

1 - magnetic hurricane tracking map with clip on dry erase marker

1 - calendar good till 2010, or the end of the world / humanity. Whichever comes first.

1 - Bamaco Inc hat. They sponsored the show or some shit

5- tote bags!

5 - 2 ounce packages of "Bayou Bang Dry Rub" seasoning

1 - thing that looks like a smurf size backpack. I am not really sure what the hell it is for but it was free. I am thinking cell phone holder??? Stash pouch??

3 - flashlights. 2 of them are ultra cheap lights that take AA batteries and use a standard bulb. The other one is actually a 5 LED light that is bright for something that uses three AAA batteries.

2 - neck lanyard ID clip things - one has an additional retractable ID clip on the end of the lanyard. I can also remove the retractable thing and just use that if I want.

1 - poncho in a bag.

1 - sewing kit

1 - 8 inch / 20 cm straight edge WITH a calculator. Solar powered, with battery backup

1 - key chain measuring tape thing

1 - DOUBLE LED key chain light

1 - single LED key chain liight that is also a bottle opener

1 - cheap ass non LED key chain light

1 - plastic letter opener

2 - Sharpie marker size spray hand sanitizer things. I can refill them when they are empty. Hand sanitizer was a big thing there. Something about a flu going around???? I was not really paying attention

5 - pens

1 - rubber ball like thing that bounces in random directions. It is not really a ball - it is made of solod rectangles attached to make a cube. Makes an OK cat toy

1 - light up LED ball surrounded in what looks like a giant soft rubber sand spur. When you throw it the LEDs inside the ball light up.

Not too bad really. The trade show portion was not that big.

I am done with the conference till next year . If I go.

17 days remain till Hurricane Season 2009.

LIVE! From The Florida Governor's Hurricane Conference - Part 2

GOOD NEWS!

My green ID card holder was good enough for admittance to the free loot room. And I got.....

FREE LUNCH!!!!

So that was good. A free all you can eat as long as you only go through the line ONCE and can fit all the food on the plate buffet. The lunch buffet I had to pay $10 for was also a "one pass only" deal - but they gave you a plate and a paper tray to carry the plate on. So I ditched the plate and just used the tray. What the hell - the tray was made of paper. The plate was made of paper. So why not.

But I am sneaky, so I was able to sneak through today's line twice. See, they had "security" for the buffet. Only people with blue or green ID holders got the free food. I was given one free meal card and one free "ONE DRINK ONLY" card.

Apparently, there is a terrible shortage of water and ice tea. So all you were allowed was one cup of drink. That is it. No more.

Anyhow I just bypassed the "security" without even realizing it. Then I got some food. Then I went back for just a little more - at which time someone noticed and revoked my card. No problem. The free drink guy remembered me.

Anyhow - I loaded up with other free goodies. I have multiple tote bags, all sorts of pens, a cool flashlight, at least three LED key chain lights, an ass load of pens, and a bunch of other stuff. I also entered a drawing to win a bunch of crap.

A complete inventory of my take will be posted here tomorrow! And more Cookie Monster photoshop creations -that I actually made.

LIVE! From The Florida Governor's Hurricane Conference.

Investigative reporting! I love it. And now I get to do some!

You see, I am currently at the convention center where the Florida Governor's Hurricane Conference is.

It is not as exciting as one would think. There is no hurricane. The conference part is here however. I assume the governor part is also around here someplace - but I do not know where.

So why am I here? ICS-300. Look it up. I am learning all about the incident command system and how it works. Pretty neat huh? I think so. The training is actually very informative.

But I also got some bad news. There will be NO free stuff. I lack access to the free stuff part of the conference.

The cost to attend this thing is broken down into three areas. Conference only, training only, or both. If you are training only, you get a cool green ID / wallet thing you have to wear around your neck. The training and conference people have a blue wallet / ID holder thing.

I have a green one. So no access to the display booth room for me.

I could gain access to the full conference - for another $100. I did the cost/benefit analysis and determined that for $100 I could just buy more crap than I would get for free. The cost would therefore outweigh the benefit.

But all is not lost. Sort of. You see, I paid for the training. In theory it will be a benefit to me.

But I did not expect a cool wallet / ID holder thing. So that counts as "free". I also got this tote bag thing that is actually fairly decent. That counts as "free".

And there is all manners of free coffee. The stirrers are even encrusted with rock candy (AKA crystallized sugar). And there are even cinnamon sticks (tree bark) for the coffee.

That is some gourmet shit right there.

And trust me this night owl is LOADING up on that stuff. It is my lifeblood at this point. I am like the cookie monster, only I am walking around saying "coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee".

I fully expect an intervention at any moment now. But I do not have a problem - everyone else does.

As long as they do not try to slip me that decaf stuff Ill be fine.

And what kind of sick bastard came up with decaf coffee? That is like non-alcoholic beer, THC free pot, or cocaine free cocaine. It is just not as much fun without the active ingredient.

Pirates Have Nothing To Do With This Post

This is how I envision what my life would be like, if I were a pirate.



I have to arise at some unholy hour today. By 8030 I have to be in Fort Lauderdale. For those of you who do not understand why this is a problem, allow me to fill in some information that will help you realize the gravity of this situation.

Morning rush hour traffic flows to the NORTH and/or EAST. If you are going south, or west, it is clear sailing. if you have to go east or north, you are fucked. You will not be going very fast. Hell, you should consider yourself lucky if you even move.

To get from where I am now to Fort Lauderdale, I have to go about 10 miles east, and about 27 or so miles north.

On the highway.

So to be there at 0830 I am pretty much forced to depart at some unholy hour of the morning. At a time when no human being should be forced to be on the roads - unless they are leaving for home from the bar that has last call at 5 AM.

By 7 AM traffic is building rapidly. So I figure I should be out the door by 0630. The goal is to make it to I-95 BEFORE the exit ramp off the 836 to I-95 north backs up like a toilet at the bar where last call is 5 AM during chili cheeseburger night.

And all for a hurricane conference. The Governor's Hurricane Conference. Lots of conferencing abut hurricanes.

Do not worry - I plan to LOAD UP on the free stuff. At these types of things, a shrewd individual can load up on free stuff. Nothing is too large or too small. For the large free stuff, the truck is parked nearby. For the small free stuff, I have a bag.

If the pickings are good enough, Ill bring a suitcase on wheels.

I truly have no shame.

But one can not just show up to a conference and expect to plunder all the free stuff. You have to fool the people in charge of handing out the loot that you are actually important.

For example, here is what you DO NOT want to do.

PERSON IN CHARGE OF LOOT: Welcome to my booth! Are there any questions I can answer about the products and/or services we offer?

ME: Not really. I am not in any position to actually buy anything. You see, I am a fairly low level cog in the wheel.

BZZZZZZZ! You will be lucky to get one pen this way.

Now lets see what happens if you use some creativity and improv skills! Here is how you would dazzle someone with bullshit.

PERSON IN CHARGE OF LOOT: Welcome to my booth! Are there any questions I can answer about the products and/or services we offer?

ME: Yes! I was just promoted at the Emergency Operations Center, and I have some plans to rethink the way we work. I am very interested in new technology, new ideas, new ways to do things, increasing agency efficiency, and so I need to keep on top of the latest new products and services.

LOOT PERSON: Wow! sounds like you have a lot on your plate there!

ME: You said it! I have this budget that I will need to spend, and to be totally honest I do not know what to spend it all on. I have never had a budget this large to spend before! I am really excited about it.

At this point, you will get loaded down with free stuff. Anything in the booth is now yours. Like the shoes the booth guy is wearing? They are yours. Just say "nice shoes!". The guy will staple his business card to the shoes, and hand them to you.

Here you go! Oh no...it is not a problem at all! I like to go barefoot!

Needless to say, I have no shame. There is no such thing as a low I will not stoop to when free stuff is at stake.

Ill keep a running tally of the loot I obtain as I obtain it. There is an internet room at the conference. I am hoping they have free wi-fi, because the internet room is close to the training room I will be spending the most time at. And the laptop is fully wireless compatible. 802.11 B/G/N - and bluetooth!

Odds And Ends

Just a few odds and ends here. Stuff I could not really fit into any other post format. No matter what crazy ass tangent I go off on. It was just not going to happen.

So here it goes!!!

1. Scarlet Blue is back. I have to assume her screen name was picked because of the eternal question. Which Chimay version do you select? There is the red/scarlet label, and the blue label. And yes - there is a difference.

Chimay Red is a 7% top fermented selection.

First sold in 75 cl (25.4 fl.oz.) bottles, it is noted for its coppery colour which makes it particularly attractive.

Topped with a creamy head, it gives off a light, fruity apricot aroma produced by the fermentation. The taste perceived in the mouth is a balance confirming the fruity nuances noticed in the fragrance.

Its taste, which imparts a silky sensation to the tongue, is made refreshing by a light touch of bitterness. To the palate, the taster perceives a pleasant astringency which complements the flavour qualities of this beer very harmoniously.

This top fermented Trappist beer, refermented in the bottle, is not pasteurized.

Not bad stuff really. I like it. I do not drink it often on account of it being harder to find AND somewhat expensive. But hey - Tappist Monks have to eat too.

Chimay Blue on the other hand.....TOTALLY different.

Named Grande Réserve in 75 cl (25.4 fl.oz.) bottles, it is principally distinguished by its character of a strong beer (9% ABV).

This is a beer whose fragrance of fresh yeast with a light, flowery rosy touch is especially pleasant.

Its flavour, noticed when tasting it, only accentuates the pleasant sensations perceived in the aroma , while revealing a light but pleasant touch of roasted malt.

This top fermented Trappist beer , refermented in the bottle, is not pasteurized.

I prefer the blue label myself - but only on special occasions. The stuff ain't cheap.

Anyhow - this is my theory behind the blog name "Scarlet Blue". Why commit to just one kind of Chimay? Keep your options open.

#2 - Where is Doozie? Apparently she just vanished. And her blog is closed. So if you know where she is - pester her to add me to the approved readers list. Remember - the key to pestering is to do it often!!! 8 or 9 times a day is a good start.

#3 - I made some creations for Dusty. Dusty's blog may not be for anyone - she can go off the deep end from time to time. But hey - what else would you expect from a blog titled "Left Wing Nutjob"? Agree or disagree - you have to admit the title is fitting. Anyway, in the spirit of wasting time and accomplishing absolutely nothing in the process - I made THESE PHOTOS. Not my best creations, but Ill do better at some point. No telling when that might be. I have to be inspired to do really good work. The inspiration for the things I made so far was just a simple matrix of bordem and beer. And it shows. On a scale of 1 - 10, I give the stuff a 3.

But since I am not an asshole who never admits to schlock - there you go. The proof is on the internet, for all to see.

#4 - Skipper The Cat is getting his fur back. This is good. He was starting to look like a mole rat with a long tail. But now he looks more like a cat again. Ill have to remember to post a photo.

#5 - I have taken a bunch of FEMA self study courses. Why? Well I had my reasons. But mostly - they were a good way to pass some time. Go here for the NIMS selections, and here for the ISP selections.

By the way, various jobs now require some of these self study courses. The common ones are ICS-100, ICS-200, ICS-700, and ICS-800. The courses can also be listed a IS-100, IS-200, IS-700, and IS-800.

And since this is a FEMA creation, the numbers are not exactly in order. IS-100 pairs with IS-700, IS-200 pairs with IS-800. I know, I know - that is odd. But that is just how it is. So roll with it. Trying to figure it out will just drive you insane. The numbers may not make sense, but then again the course numbers are not what is important. The content is.

Other than that - happy Saturday!

How Many Sports Stations Does One Market Need?

The answer is........FIVE! Yes, five. Five sports stations, for a town that does not give a shit about sports. Hell, the Marlins can not even sell out a game unless it is a series playoff. But even so - and in spite of a dismal economy that is forcing every County department to cut back, the Marlins are getting a new stadium.

Anyhow, it all began with deregulation. Deregulation allowed media companies to own as many TV and radio stations as they wanted in any given market. In time, this resulted in the plague known as Clear Channel Communications. They are the largest of the radio companies, owning thousands of stations in hundreds of markets.

The effect of this was the death of local radio. Local radio is expensive. You have to hire on air talent inside each market. And this is just the start. You have to hire support staff for each station in each market. Now if you only run one station in one market - no problem.

But it is FAR CHEAPER to just have a switch board monkey flip a switch, and pot up a show that is syndicated nationally. Under this model, you can pretty much run a station with 4 or 5 people on the staff.

For a very long time, there was one sports station in South Florida. And that was enough. People that wanted to hear sports talk all the time knew where to go. All was good.

The rest of the dial was news or talk commentary. If you wanted to listen to that stuff. Few did. FM ratings were always better than AM ratings.

Sometime in the mid to late 90s, the last station that still carried local talk radio pulled the plug on that format. I used to listen to this station - 610 AM - as my job at the time had me stuck in a commercial van that was equipped with a push button (no digital tuning) AM/FM radio with two speakers in the dash. No CD player, no tape player.

940 AM was "all news", but this was a dead format. Nobody really needed "all news all the time" and what happened was that if you listened for 1/2 hour you heard the whole days programming. Sometime in the 90s Clear Channel bought 940 and made it the outlet for shows like Rush Limbaugh and so on.

When the last of the local programming was pulled from 610, the programming on 610 was the same as 940. They just used both stations to broadcast the same thing. I went back to the FM dial - where honestly I spent most time anyway.

At this time, ratings for the local programming was higher than the ratings for the nationally syndicated stuff - but the plug was pulled on the higher rated shows anyway. The ratings were not much higher, but still - they were higher. My guess is that 940 did make more money than 610, even if 610 had the better ratings because 940 had lower operating costs.

Now lets fast forward a few years. 610 and 940 are still airing the same shows at the same times. But a new network is born. Air America. All the AM dial is pretty much one big right wing radio show at this point. Not because of ratings - just because there is nothing else there. Stations stack shows - so you have Rush competing with Rush. This is how it was in Miami anyway.

Well sort of. There was a time when you had Bill O'Reilly's radio show on some horseball station. But NOBODY listened to it. Seriously. His show would pull in 0.1 and 0.2 share numbers. Sometimes even 0.0. Yet his show could be heard (by nobody) for at least a full year.

But other than that there was not really any competition for the format.

Clear Channel decided to syndicate Air America. They put that on 940. 610 remained right wing.

At around the same time, I was discovering satellite radio. So I really did not care about the AM dial. Plus, the job I had did not have me stuck in a vehicle for most of the day. I would drive to work at 4 AM when there was no traffic, then return home at 1 PM when there was no major traffic conjestion. 10 minutes to get to work, 20 minutes to get home.

But over time, I started to go back to the AM dial. Sometimes. For short periods of time. I still had the satellite radio in for most of the time, but when I wanted a break from the same 5 or 6 channels I had the habit of listening to on Sirius,

As the political bullshit heated up - I listened to more 940. There were two shows I would listen to. Not the whole shows - who has time for that. But I would tune in.

I had a desk job. And on this desk I put a radio. It had a CD player, and that was good. But when I was tired of the CDs I brought in and sick of the endless commercials on the FM dial I would kick it on 940. Mostly it was just a little background noise. The purpose was to claim my little cubicle. Somethine to keep invading noises at bay. I could not blast music, so talk shows filled in decently enough. I did not spend all the time in the cube - a good deal of my day was actually spent outside the little space. So it was not like I was sitting there, actively listneing and taking notes and calling in and stuff. No time for that.

I also listened to NPR - mostly on the weekends, and when I was working before and after normal office hours.

VERY recently - there was a major change however.

940 ceased to air progressive shows. They went all sports. The format change was announced by someone using a very fake Rush Limbaugh voice, saying something that since Obama won the election and it was because of progressive radio - the format had to go. And it was going all sports because there is a black president and since black people like basketball, 940 would be the new home of the Miami Heat. 940 was then The Sports Animal. Just like that.

Of course it was all ratings. The fact that it is a Clear Channel station - and Clear Channel loves the right wing format - can not possibly have anything to do with it. It was the ratings!

It is true 940 did not have awesome numbers. These are the ratings for 2007 and 2008. WIOD is 610, and WINZ is 940. As you can see, WIOD did have better numbers for both years. Of course, WIOD shows were also better promoted. Clear Channel also owns a bunch of billboards, and when nobody wants to rent the space the company puts up an ad for a radio show. Uusually on WIOD. But be this as it may, WIOD had better numbers. In 2007 WIOD ranked 12 overall and WINZ ranked 23 overall. But as far as numbers go, in 2007 WIOD had a high of 3.2 VS WINZ high of 1.7. The top FM station had a 6.4 share.

WQAM, the highest rated sports station, ranked 22nd in 2007. And the highest rated show on WQAM is Neil Rogers - which is not a sports show. Neil is the last truly local show in the market that is in English.

In 2008, there was not a lot of difference in the trends.

The other sports format stations do not even register on the ratings. They are ranked below 25th place. The number 2 sports station has less than half the audience of WQAM. And there are two more sports stations under that.

NO audience. WQAM is the only sports station that this market needs. It is the only sports station that has any audience.

Which brings up the question - and the point of this long pointless post.

Why change formats? It could not possibly just be numbers. WINZ with the progressive talk shows was already doing as well as WQAM - the number 1 sports station in the market. WINZ was kicking the ass of the other three sports stations. There is no way possible that changing the format to sports is going to see better ratings for WINZ.

So then - why?

If you ask me, it was not just a business decision. If it were, I would expect that the format change would be to something that would have a hope of producing much better numbers. Since WIOD already carries the right wing stuff, it would not make sense for WINZ to just adopt this format.

But switching from a format that at least got you in the top 25 to a format that will NOT be in the top 25 seems like either a terrible business decision - or one that was politically motivated.

WINZ will now air the Fox Sports syndicated stuff. That nobody will listen to. Nobody. Ratings will drop.

Now I do not think this is going to be a surprise to Clear Channel and station management. So this leaves only one option.

It was political. Clear Channel will syndicate more Fox stuff, giving more money to Rupert Murdoch. And to do so, they will dump the progressive format in South Florida.

EDITORS NOTE

I really do not care. I was not a die hard follower of WINZ. I would occasionally tune in from time to time just to hear what was being said - providing I did not want to listen to music instead. But the format change did get me to thinking of what the reason behind it was. Not being able to make sense of a format that would at least get you a 1.5 or 2.0 share would be dumped for a format that almost guarantees a 0.5 share (or lower) - I had to assume it was a political move by the parent company. Fox sports??? As opposed to any other sports network?? Seems a little strange to me.

Ode To The Asshole At Publix

Who took one bottle of Sierra Nevada from the 6 pack.

Why would you do this? Single beer bottles are NOT bar coded. You can not just buy one. You have to buy all 6, or not buy any. That is how it works.

But no - you had to take one. I hope you choked on it. I hope the bottle cap became firmly lodged in your trachea - blocking airflow forever.

Because you see - once you removed the one bottle the six pack became a five pack. Nobody buys five packs. NOBODY. The store can not just charge me for five beers, and they will not sell me the five for the price of six.

What on Earth were you thinking? You just wanted one? Why? Are you such a pussy that you were afraid of the beer?

You really should just stick with Miller Lite.

I went to the store, to forage for dinner. And get some beer. I was thinking "some Sierra Nevada Pale Ale will be good right now". So I go to the beer isle and all I can find is one five pack.

Needless to say, I was less than amused.

If you are the mega douche bag responsible for the beer injustice at the Publix located on Miller Drive and SW 94th Ave - you suck. I hope you stub the shit out of your toe or something.

I had to go with the Samuel Adams Boston Lager. Not a bad beer really. I like the stuff. But what I really wanted was the Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.

Awards

It seems I have won an award. I have no idea what I could possibly have done for it.

Truth be told, all I do is have a couple of shots of rum and then start typing. Only sometimes I do not feel like having any rum, and other times I find the rum bottle already empty.

But for whatever it is worth, here is the award. It is from Utah Savage.

Now this is not just an award you get, stuff in the sidebar, and forget about. OH NO! It is one of those awards you are supposed to pawn off on someone else. Just like you do with the flu when you work in an office.

Spread it.

In theory, if everyone spreads this award EVERYONE will get it. Which to be honest, I do not understand. What is the point in an award if everyone else gets it too?

But be that as it may, I am supposed to pick 15 other people to pass this off onto. Of course I am fairly lazy. And I do not read 15 blogs. And judging by my comments, 15 people do not read this blog anymore.

So I pick cheesemeister / Lily Strange and all the blogs she keeps track of. I think I can get all 15 awards pawned off in one shot that way. And if not - well at least I tried! Can't say I did not put any effort into this! You can say I put minimal effort into it. That would be fair.

Oh yea, if you want it you can have it too. Don't want to leave anyone out after all!

I got Photoshop to work with Vista. A friend of mine who uses Photoshop all the time said that it would not work. Maybe this was the case with earlier versions of Vista, but it installed just fine with the version I am running.

I did not try very hard with this creation, but here it is.

Proof photoshop does work in Vista. And also of Marvin The Martian's true identity. His real name is Marvin Ray-Gun.

Get it? Ray-Gun? I slay myself. Sit down comedy at its finest.

Crazy Email

I get all sorts of email. Most people do not know this, but I have 5 or 6 email accounts. I do not check them all frequently. I have one account that forwards to my phone, and another I check on a regular basis - but the others are pretty much just there to catch the spam.

One account is used just for political shit. I sign up for various bullshit "action alert" stuff. Moveon.org has this address. And so does the RNC. I also got email from both candidates for the last election cycle. I did not read most of it, but I could have if I wanted to.

It is just that I did not want to.

But every so often I get a real gem. Something that stands out. A subject line that says "do not just delete me without reading it".

Like this one, from the RNC. Outrage over Arlen Specter. I just had to open that one. I was down for some good old fashioned outrage. So in case you did not get the email - here it is!!

"Dear Lazy,

I hope Arlen Specter's party change outrages you. It should for two reasons:

First - Specter claimed it was philosophical--and pointed his finger of blame at
Republicans all over America for his defection to the Democrats. He told us all to
go jump in the lake today.

I'm sorry, but I don't believe a word he said."

OK so far I get it. I should be outraged because Specter switched parties. Well as one who does not really care much about parties (unless there are hot chicks at them) I could care less if Specter changed parties. None of my business really. He did not tell me to jump in a lake. He told what is left of the Pennsylvania Republican primary voters - who do not like him anyway - to jump in a lake. I live in Florida. Specter is not even my senator.

And it seems to me that his reasons were philosophical. The man said so himself. Specter has a rather moderate voting record. I can respect that. I think most people are actually moderate. In the middle. Leaning one way on some issues, and another way on other issues. Maybe you support stem cell research, and also believe in the right to own guns. How about that? Is it possible??

Well no. Not if you want to be Republican.

Bottom line is that Specter was chased out of the party. No longer welcome. Get out. How dare you disagree with one issue! So who else is there to point the finger at? Me? I do not even live in the man's state! No, the finger of blame is pointing at the party. The party that turned too far to the right for most Americans. The party that continues down that path - even in spite of dropping poll numbers.

And there is no room for moderates. There is no room for people in the middle. There is only room for those who agree 100% with everything being said on Fox.

"Arlen Specter committed a purely political and self-serving act today. He simply
believes he has a better chance of saving his political hide and his job as a
Democrat. He loves the title of Senator more than he loves the party--and the
principles--that elected him and nurtured him."

This may be true. It was purely political. Political parties are purely political. And Specter may just win reelection as a Democrat. You see, the Democrat primary pool in PA has a lot of moderates in it. A lot of people switched parties for the last election. They had enough. But that does not mean all those who changed parties are going to be hard to the left. They will not be. They just realized that they did not fit in with the "base" and were pushed out.

And really - what is wrong with liking the title of "senator" more than your party affiliation? Is your job as Senator not representing the people - not the party? So if the people in your state want something, it is your job to vote for it.

Or am I crazy?

"Second--and more importantly--Arlen Specter handed Barack Obama and his band of radical leftists nearly absolute power in the United States Senate. In leaving the Republican Party--and joining the Democrats--he absolutely undercut Republicans' efforts to slow down Obama's radical agenda through the threat of filibuster."

And now we get to the good part! And if this does not prove my point (there is no room for moderates in the Republican Party anymore) nothing will. Because Specter changed a single letter in his title (Senator R-PA to Senator D-PA) he is now.......

A radical leftist. Specter is Che Guevara reincarnated. If you are not a Republican - you must be a radical leftist. Specter - the moderate - will hand power over to the "radical left" -0 giving them absolute power.

Now of course this is not true. Specter is still a moderate. So are many democrats in the house and senate.

And what is so "radical" about Obama's agenda? I do not see it. Now I know the RNC and talk radio sources like to say it is "radical" - but is it? And if so - what is radical? Name one thing.

If any "radical" policies are proposed, we can count on the moderates to vote no. This is what moderates do. They vote no on crazy shit. This is why there is no room on the Republican side for them - the party platform is too far to the right. So why the hell would they suddenly go for a platform too far to the left?

They will not. It is just bullshit. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Facing defeat in Pennsylvania's 2010 Republican primary due to his left-wing voting record, and an end to his 30 year career in the U.S. Senate, he has peddled his services--and his vote--to the leftist Obama Democrats who aim to remake America with their leftist plan."

Have you ever seen a paragraph that used the word "leftist" so much? And what "left wing" voting record are they talking about here? One vote? Voting yes for the recovery plan? That suddenly makes him "left wing"? What about his other 30 years of votes? Do they no longer count? I guess not! He is now "left wing". A radical. A far leftist.

And he has handed his vote over to the radical left. All because he disagreed with the party on ONE issue. One. Not 10. Not 1,000. One. One single vote.

As recently as April 9th, Senator Specter said he would run in the Pennsylvania primary next year as a Republican. Why the sudden change of heart? Clearly, this was an act based on political expediency by a craven politician desperate to keep his Washington power base -- not the act of a statesman."

Once again - I do not agree. A statesman is supposed to represent ALL of the people they represent. If you are a senator - this means the whole state. Not the base of your party - unless the base of your party happens to be the majority. If the base is going to reject him in a highly partisan primary, then why not change parties? Why not switch to the more moderate party? Let the primary voters of that party decide who they want - then run in the general election. Or run as an independent. If you truly represent the people of your state, you will win the general election.

His defection to the Democrat Party puts the Democrats in an almost unstoppable position to pass Obama's destructive agenda of income redistribution, health care nationalization, and a massive expansion of entitlements.

Arlen Specter has put his loyalty to his own political career above his duty to his
state and nation."

OK OK got it. Far left voting record, going to pass the destructive agenda, automatic vote, and so on. Even if he is a moderate, usually leaning to the right on most issues. OK.

You and I have a choice. Some will use Specter's defection as an excuse to fold the tent and give up. I believe that you are not one of those people. When Benedict Arnold defected to the British, George Washington didn't fold the tent and give up either.

He grit his teeth more determined than ever to succeed. That's what I'm asking you
to do today."

Uhhh...so now the RNC is George Washington? Specter betrayed his nation to a foreign power? Other Americans are the British?

Really? Is this not just a little tiny bit of a stretch here?

Join me in this fight by making a secure online contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500 or $1,000 right now to build our army of supporters and defeat Democrat candidates like Arlen Specter in next year's elections.

Stand with me. I need your support today.

Sincerely,

Michael Steele
Chairman, Republican National Committee"

And now we get to the real reason! Send us money! To defeat the far left and people like Specter.

Mr Steele - you need more than my support, which as someone closer to the center I can not give you anyway. You need to get a grip here. I know you have nothing else to go on, but that is not my fault. I did not decide to label anything I do not agree with as "the far left". Now I may not know everything about politics - but I do know that Specter is NOT the "radical left". You, and people who think like you, helped push me away from supporting any Republican long ago. You see, I did not agree 100% with everything. I happened to disagree on some issues. most notably, the "wedge" issues. So I was part of the "far left" too. A radical. Like Specter.

P.S. Lazy, we need to respond to Senator Specter's decision to join President Obama's efforts to change America into a European Welfare State. Please help our Party move forward by making a secure online contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500 or $1,000 to give our Republican leaders & candidates the political muscle they need to resist the Obama-Pelosi-Specter agenda. Thank you."

Another pitch for money huh? You just made a pitch a paragraph ago.

And I like how it is now the "Obama-Pelosi-Specter agenda. What happened to Harry Reed? I thought it was "Pelosi-Reed". But now it is "Pelosi-Specter".

And of course, another pitch for money. Just in case I missed the first one.

Simply amazing. If you do not agree 100% with EVERYTHING the base of the Republican party (as heard on talk radio) says - you are a far left radical. A communist. Or at best, a socialist.

This is why the Republican party is losing in the polls. People are sick and tired of hearing about how they are "far left" just because they happen to not agree on even one issue.

Moderates have nowhere else to go. As the base turns harder and harder to the right - candidates that hope to win a primary will have to adopt harder and harder right wing views.

Moderates are unlikely to do so - meaning they could lose in a Republican primary.

And if by chance they win the primary - if their hard right positions are not what the majority in their state want - they will lose the general election.

One of two things will happen. The moderates left in the party will have to take it back, then clean house. Make the party more inclusive.

Or else the party will have fewer and fewer seats.

If I could pick one of the two - I would pick the more moderate party option. It would keep the Democratic party from swinging too far to the left, as moderates on the Democrat side would also have someplace to go if the day ever comes when their views are not welcome. But right now the Democrat party is looking more like the party that WANTS the moderates.

Summer Is Here

Yes, summer has invaded.

Now I know what you must be thinking. How the hell can I tell when summer is here? It is not like I have indicators like 10 feet of snow and shit to tell me winter is here. The leaves never change colors - unless there is a severe drought. And by the time there is a hurricane somewhere - summer has been around for months.

So how do I know?

The simple answer is the fish finder tells me. It measures the water surface temperature.

But I do not always have advanced sonar technology with me. Or a thermometer. Such was the case last weekend. The vessel I took out lacks advanced electronics.

So I had to just jump in. The swimming area picked out is closed to the Waverunner - so I had to leave it tied up and hitch a ride on another boat. Once at the sandbar there was just one thing to do.

Test the water temperature by jumping in.

The water will get warmer. But as it is right now it is not exactly "cold". One can jump in and there is no shock to the system. No moment of clarity where one realizes "shit, this water is cold".

I no longer require the shorty wetsuit when riding the Waverunner.

I was able to just do what I always do when swimming. Toss a life ring attached to a rope overboard. Then you stick one leg through the hole in the life ring. The ring will keep you floating without you needing to expend any energy. The rope keeps the current from taking you too far away.

Safely floating and attached to the boat - the swimmer is now free to drift around while drinking beer.

By the way - beer cans that are not open float. I suppose with enough unopened beer cans one could construct a raft.

This summer I hereby pledge, before the Gods of the sea, that I will obtain and use one of these devices. So the cold beverages can float nearby.

H1N1 Is Here

I figured this would happen.

The first confirmed H1N1 case in south Florida. She is a high school senior at Hallandale High School. She is 17.

No big deal. The doctors gave her some anti viral flu medicine. The school is closed till Thursday while it is being decontaminated. I do not know if the place has to be decontaminated, but they are doing it anyway. Probably just to make people feel better.

And lets not fool ourselves here - the air conditioning units of ALL schools could probably use some decontamination.

But you know what did not happen? A mass outbreak of students and faculty of the school.

So I am not really worried about this whole thing. So far, there have been only 17 confirmed deaths. While this still means 17 people, the common flu kills some 30,000 per year just in the USA. Thousands are suspected of having contracted the bug by the way.

But even so, I feel it is time to take some proactive action. People are generally not found out on the water. At least not in the numbers they are found on land. And it is pretty easy to stay away from people on the water.

So Ill be out on the water. For part of the time. I actually have a thing to go to. Some kind of picnic. By the water.

I plan to arrive by sea.

Do All Posts Really Need A Title?

I can see not many people were impressed by the video of the home built fully automatic lawn mower.

I was impressed. I think that video could change my life forever. Lawn mowing sounds a lot more appealing if all I have to do is hang out under the tree with a beer while I watch my home built robot go around in circles.

Then I can laugh at the neighbors. They all said it could not be done. That I could not build an automatic lawn mowing robot. It was impossible! A fool's errand.

Ill show them. Ill show them all.

Or not. The yard is really not that big. And there is crap in the yard that will make building the contraption more trouble than it is worth. With the trees and bird bath and shit - there is no place for the center pole. The circles would have to be pretty small.

So maybe it would not save any labor at all. It might actually require more labor.

And now....VISTA NEWS!!!!!!

Adobe Photoshop 7.0 runs under Vista. This is good news.

In fact, so far Vista seems to be working better than expected. I still can not seem to get the wireless printer to connect, but other than that it has been crash free.