Calling Bullshit

I am pretty good at calling bullshit. "Calling bullshit" is when you say "bullshit" when you hear something, as opposed to saying "that might be true" or "that could work". Here are some examples of things I have called bullshit on.

1. Pat Robertson claimed to have invented a magical potion that allowed him to leg lift 2,000 pounds. I call bulshit on that one. If I were to bitch slap Pat him and his 2,000 pound lifting super body would run away crying.

2. The Segway was going to "change human transportation forever" and that "cities would have to re-design streets and sidewalks". I called bullshit on that one.

3. Nukes in Iraq. I called bullshit on that one.

4. People with handheld laser pointers blinding pilots. I call bullshit on this too. I do not think it is possible to track an object moving as fast as a jet with a handheld pointing device. I can not even keep my laser pointer steady on an object not moving at all and only 50 or so yards away.

5. Conspiricy theories. I call bullshit on them because I find it unlikely that the same government that can not keep a simple domestic spy program a secret could keep alien bodies in a McDonalds freezer a secret. But it could explain why Chicken McNuggets come in exactly three shapes!

6. Anything James Dobson (Focus On The Family) has to say I call bullshit on.

7. Remember "Mission Accomplished"?? I called bullshit on that. I remember yelling things like "what a F$#%ing LIAR!" and "Why not just tell us that the moon is made of cheese?" at the TV when that famous banner was put up on the aircraft carrier.

I could go on and on. My powers to call bullshit on things are without reproach. Every so often I do call bullshit on things that turn out to hold some amount of truth, but for the most part I am usually proven right given enough time.

And yet - people still doubt my abilities. This is why humanity is doomed to keep making stupid little mistakes. Once my abilities are accepted by all, I can pooper-scooper at least 20% of the bullshit off the front lawn of the planet.

OCD

Everyone has heard of "obsessive compulsion disorder". You know, people that feel the need to wash their hands every few minutes, or have to tap their foot 5 times on every wood floor. Or something like that.

One of my cats has this disorder. Sake. The Siamese looking cat has OCD.

Sake *WILL* piss on anything left on the floor of ONE of the two bathrooms in the house. She prefers towels or the small shower carpet, but she will also wizz on socks or whatever.

If the floor is bare, then the cat pisses in the bath tub.

She seems to always be ready to pee, no matter what. And I do not think she knows that she can piss outside. She will scratch at the door to come inside, then bee line it to the litter box - or check to see if the bathroom door is open.

Sake is not known to piss on anything else other than the litter box, towels on the floor, or the bath tub. A towel on the floor anywhere other than the bathroom is safe.

And one, or possibly ALL of the cats LOVE to shred the toilet paper.

For all these reasons, the bathroom door MUST remain closed at all times. And I am sometimes forced to get out of the shower and have nothing to step on to dry off my feet. I hate this.

Memorial Day Post

Memorial Day is a confusing holiday for me.

It was not always confusing. When I was younger, I could get by without thinking about stuff. Maybe it was the weed. Who knows.

Anyway, once I started to think about stuff I realized something. Memorial Day is one F-ed up holiday!!

On one hand, why not get drunk and have a BBQ. Why not go out in the boat, drink beer and frolic in Biscayne Bay! After all, this is "freedom" right?!?!?!

On the other hand, this is a solemn time, a time when we are supposed to remember those who died for our freedom.

Which brings me back to point #1. What better way to honor those who died for our freedom by going out ant having a ton of fun being free! Why not go get stewed, then pass out somewhere!
On the other hand, maybe getting drunk at a BBQ is the WRONG thing to do for this holiday.

So, which is it? Drunken mayhem or a solemn occasion? BBQ or little flags everywhere?

Clearly, to most of the population drunken BBQ wins out. This is more fun, so this is what most people are into.

In Miami, this is a horrible time to launch your boat. On Memorial Day, EVERYONE is out on the water. Alcohol sales spike. Drunken mayhem in the tourist areas peak.

I will be working. My days off are Tuesday and Wednesday.

The point I am getting at is that society is fucked. Nobody knows their ass from a hole in the ground. There is a WAR GOING ON right now, and still Memorial Day is (to the vast majority) just an excuse to get drunk and have a three day weekend.

And the sane minority wonders why the world is insane.

But the point is - how do we REALLY honor the war dead? Is it better to just pretend that everything is OK, get drunk, and party for the three day weekend - or is it better to spend the weekend being all solemn and stuff?

I just do not know. I can argue for either view point.

Mystery Post

Behold! The mystery post! Marvel at it's....uhhhh...Mystery!


And what could be more mysterious than my August vacation plans? Allow me to clarify the situation.

1. I like boats.
2. I like the sea.
3. I have NEVER been to sea in a large boat. By "to sea" I mean far enough offshore that I can not see any traces of land and by "large boat" I mean anything larger than a 72 foot charter "party" fishing boat.

So my supervisor gets these emails from Florida International University. Apparently she once send them money. I have never sent that place any money after getting my degree.

Anyway, she got a email about an alumni cruise to her work email account and was going to delete it. I asked to have it forwarded to my work email account.

The deal was pretty good. I figured I could afford it. Sort of. And why the hell not go? I could not think of any reason to not go.

Now to ride solo, I would still have to pay for a cabin - and on cruise ships cabins are based on double occupancy. This translated into the "$380" for an ocean view cabin really costing me $760

So once I add in tips and booze and video poker and something to do in Mexico and a passport and whatever else, I was looking at $1200 - $1400. Or less. It all depends on how much booze I decide to consume, and how much I loose at video poker.

Going alone would be sort of boring. What the hell would I do? The reality of this is I would probably drink more, gamble more, sleep more, and generally have less fun.

But which of my friends would go? Which COULD go?

There was only one I could think of. She currently lives in North Carolina but is talking about moving back to Florida due to a job offer. Plus she does not really like North Carolina too much.

So I fire off an email. The next day I called and asked "HEY! How would you like to go to Mexico on a big ass ship?" - half expecting to hear "what are you crazy? I have to work and stuff!".

And this is how I found someone who could go. It will still cost me fare for two - but it was going to cost me this anyway. I have a better employment situation, so the other person can not really afford to pay half the cost.

At any rate, this is the deal. I have someone who will go on the ship with me, and who wants to go on the same shore excursion (visit Mayan ruins). I have to cover a lot of the cost, but it is either that or I do not go - or I spend almost the same amount and go by myself. Having some company is important, or else I might just end up spending the time sleeping and looking out my ocean view window. I can be fairly introverted if left to my own devices.

And I am tired of this "I can go later" shit. Who knows if there will BE a "later"? I might spend the next 10 years waiting for the "later".

Sometimes, you just have to do stuff. So I am. In August. It will be OK.

The Tale Of Two Vacations

Today I found out the verdict for the time off I requested this summer.

My vacation request for Sanibel Island was not approved. I will still go, just not for the full week. I have my weekend, and maybe one or at the very most two more days. My weekend will be Sunday and Monday. It is a given that Saturday will be next to impossible to get off. But if I can score a Tuesday off, then it will be worth it to go. I could leave after work on Saturday, and be in Sanibel three hours later. I could leave after dinner on Tuesday and be back at work Wednesday.

If I can not get Tuesday off, I will probably not go.

But my August request was approved. Now I can finish paying for my cruise, and plan what the hell I am going to do once I set foot on Mexican Soil. I would like to see Mayan Ruins. I can go to the beach in Florida, but I can not see pyramids in Florida. I will also find out where on the ship I will be staying. I want a cabin with a picture window, not a porthole. I would also like to be located somewhere midship to the stern. Why not the bow??? In the event of foul weather, a good captain will ALWAYS keep the bow into the wind. The wind drives the waves, so most of the time keeping the bow into the wind also keeps it into the waves.

So the bow of ANY boat in foul weather will pitch more than the stern of the boat.

I would not want to have a cabin on the stern, because then my picture window will overlook the ship's wake trail. I would rather see off the port or starboard, where the water is not churned up by the massive propellers driving the ship.

More on my shore leave once I figure out exactly what I want to do.

Tax Free Crap

Here in Florida it is tax free crap time! For some items anyway. You know, for hurricane preparation.

So if I buy a flashlight I do not pay sales tax. WOW! That will help me prepare for a hurricane! Not paying sales tax on a flashlight costing less than $20 is just what I need when the wind is blowing at 120 mph outside.

Here is a list of some of the crap us people in Florida can buy sales tax free.

• Flashlights and portable, self-powered light sources — $20 or less
• Portable radios, two-way radios and weather-band radios — for $50 or less
• Flexible waterproof sheeting (tarps) — $50 or less
• Gas or diesel fuel containers — $25 or less
• Batteries — $30 or less
• Non-electrical food storage coolers — $30 or less
• Portable generators — $1,000 or less
• Carbon monoxide detectors — $75 or less
• Storm shutter devices — $200 or less
• Cell phone batteries — $60 or less

If you want a complete list, you can CLICK HERE.

Now what kind of CRAP is this??? Do you know how many hurricane shutters you get for a measly $200? Cell phone batteries? So now the UNRELIABLE cell phone is a hurricane supply? I might as well send up smoke signals - at least I know that I *CAN* start a fire.

Now I think that if one were to go and buy 7 hurricane shutters for $150 each, no sales tax would be due. That helps somewhat.

But you know what would help more? Doing something about the insurance situation. Insurance companies are a gang now. The law requires us to carry insurance, but there seems to be no law that requires insurance companies to you know....pay people. All they have to do is say "you have windstorm coverage - but all I see is flood damage! We do not write flood policies! What we will do is give you a pittance to cover the windstorm damage, and you can pay for the rest! And by the way, your premiums just tripled".

And FEMA will say "Flood insurance? You live in a floodplain! We can not write you a policy!" or "you have insurance already! You do not need our flood insurance". When you tell them your insurance company will write you a windstorm policy, but not a flood policy FEMA tells you "BLAH BLAH NOT LISTENING NOT LISTENING LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA ARE YOU STILL HERE???"

And even if you can get FEMA flood insurance, they only write policies for those who do NOT live in a flood plain. So if you live in the Arizona desert overlooking a valley - you can get flood insurance. But if you live IN the valley you can buy......uhhhh.....a bunch of towels to soak up the water.

I have a radical solution to this mess. EVERYONE stops paying for insurance. A nation-wide insurance strike. No car insurance. No property insurance. The companies would break like a twig. Once the premium checks stopped flowing in, the executivesxecutivies would wet their pants and cry like little girls.

But this is not possible. If you are paying a mortgage, your lending institution WILL add a policy for you. And they will charge you on top of what the policy costs, to make a little themselves themselvs. Perfectly legal!

And if you do not pay for car insurance and you live in Florida, the state suspends your license.

The law is rigged to prevent the people from cutting off insurance companies. We have no power to fight anything. Insurance companies rule us all.

So enjoy your $70 savings on a $1,000 generator! That is all we are going to get out of this deal.

And if you live in Florida, just so you know in the time you spent reading this your policy premium just went up $50 a month. And yourdeductibledeductable went up by a couple of thousand bucks. And rain damage counts as flood damage.

So what good does your insurance do you? Not a whole lot. If you are paying a mortgage, the lender will get the bulk of your policy. You might get back some of your equity, minus the deductible. The lender looses very little if anything at all. You do not own your house until you have the deed in your hands. As long as a bank holds the deed, you are just renting.

But I still got myself a generator! What the hell. I saved $70, plus another $50. I got a Honda EU2000i generator. It is portable (weighs just under 50 pounds with a full tank of gas), it is quiet for a generator. I think it will run a small portable AC.

Over The Hedge

Words can not even begin to express how I excited I am about this. It is a DONE DEAL. This post is in serious need of a THEME SONG.

My ass is going to OLD MEXICO. By the way, it is pronounced "Mehico" or Me (short e) hi (short i) co (hard C long O).

Yes, it is a done deal. Im stoked. Yo bebo MUCHO tequila. Super mucho. Grande super legendary mucho. I am going to climb the steps to the mayan Pyramid Of The Sun. I *AM* going to do this. This is not a threat, so much as a promise.

By the way, the verb "Beber" means "to drink". Beber is a regular verb. What this means is that "I drink" translates to "Yo bebo". You (informal) drink translates to "Tu bebas". You (formal) translates to "Usted beba". So "Bebo mucho tequila" means "I drink an ass load of tequila".

By the way, "we drink tequila" is " nosotros bebemos tequila" en espanol. But the "nosotros" is optional, it is OK to simply say "bebemos tequila". It means the same thing. Spanish is a fucked up language. Words have gender.

At any rate, I am going to Mexico and you are not. I am going to see mayan ruins, and you are not. I bought an ocean view cabin for DOS (two). I might also have to buy airfare for one from Charlotte North Carolina to Miami.

But what the hell! The point is I get to go to MEXICO!!!!! I get to see mayan ruins!!!!! I get to get on a big ass boat and experience the open sea.

ARRGGGG! Ye scurvy bilge rats not be knowing the call of the sea! The sea, she be a harsh mistress!!! Aye, but I be havin me SEA LEGS! Ill see all the Lilly livered scurvy dogs keel hauled once the jolly Roger be hoisted up the jib!!!

I have secured passage for two to Calico Mexico. I have already told Ericka that this is no longer an option - her ass IS going no matter what. If that means airfare, I will fly her ass to Miami International and then catch a cab to the ship. I can park at the airport for gatris (free) because I have a parking permit!!!. Backing out is not an option. I can afford to fly to North Carolina, tie her ass up, and smuggle her to Miami. Ill say I am a US Marshall and she is a criminal. Nobody will question me. I know airport security. I used to work for TSA!

But I will not need to kidnap Ericka. She has already indicated that she wants to go. And this is great - because come hell or high water I want to go! And I would rather go with someone than go solo.

Here is the deal.

I leave the Port Of Miami on the Carnival "Imagination" on Thursday August 24. I arrive at Key West Florida on Friday. Saturday I am in Calico Mexico. Sunday I am at sea all day. Monday I arrive back at Miami. Tuesday I am back at work.

This is going to kick major ass.

Hoy Es Sabado

It is Saturday again! At least for ME it is Saturday again.

I have the power to create my own reality. Your "reality" has no bearing on me. In effect, I reject your reality and choose to replace it with whatever the crap I decide to make up.

Kind of like The President! How about them apples? Except my reality is not insane.

Today I WAS going to get some service done to my truck. The ball joints are still under a recall, which I have not done squat about. I should also probably have the trannie fluid drained and replaced, just to be on the safe side.

OH YEA! I almost forgot! I did buy that Meade LX90 telescope. It is pretty nice. It has the UHTC optics and the LNT thing. The LNT thing uses the FM principle to level the scope AND point it north, so I do not have to do these things before it goes into automatic alignment mode. The FM principle is also known as "F___ing Magic". With the LNT thing and the Autostar go to computer thing I can find the Ring Nebula even if it is washed out of the night sky by the light pollution, I have no idea WHERE in the sky it is, and I have had multiple beers.

How good are the optics? Lets just say I can resolve Castor as a double star with a 20mm eyepiece. The telescope focal length is 2000mm. To calculate magnification you divide the scope focal length by the eyepiece focal length. 2000 / 20 = 100. The two stars that make up Castor (which looks like a single point to human eyes) are fairly close together - so the resolving power of the scope can be measured in arc seconds.

Chick Problems

It seems that the Dixie Chicks are still in the line of fire. At least they are according to CNN.

As you may remember, at one point they were the hottest thing to happen to Country Music since.....well since Johnny Cash set his ring on fire.

I did not know this, but they were the biggest selling female group in music history.

But then they dared to disparage the Emperor. And just like that the same people that made them the biggest selling female group in music history started sending in the death threats.

Country Music format stations will not play anything by the Dixie Chicks anymore. Here is a quote from one country radio programmer, (the song is) "a four-minute f--- you to the format and our listeners. I like the Chicks, and I won't play it."

So this programmer knows how everyone who listens to country music thinks? The format of country music requires you to kiss the ass of The President? What is that President is Clinton? If the Chicks had said in 1998 "Clinton blows goats" would they have been banned?

No, of course not.

So to recap, if you are a country music fan and you do not support Bush - then you better swap formats before other listeners find out and start to send you death threats. And you should NEVER EVER think for yourself. You should let some station manager think for you.

Right now Bush's approval ratings are under 30%. Even when Fox News takes the poll, approval is under 30%. Simple math leads one to conclude that for approval to be as low as 30%, people that listen to country music MUST be part of the 70%.

And that 70% ought to STOP TUNING into FM country stations. Let the ratings fall. Play CDs. Or if you are in the 70% and you still listen to country stations, lie when you get a ratings diary. Say you listen to the smooth jazz station - even though nobody does. When the numbers drop, the message to the station managers will be clear.

Stop F___ing with your music.

That or the Dixie Chicks need to change their name to The Non-Geographic Specific Chicks.

Big Ass Boat

It seems that it will not be possible to meet a friend of mine in Europe.

Not that I had made big plans to do so. The timeframe to plan was too short. Getting the days off, getting a passport, getting airfare, finding a place to crash - all this stuff requires time.

Anyhow - no big deal. I did not seriously expect it to happen.

But then something else was sent to me via email.

I get all kinds of crap from the university I graduated from. Pleas for money. Propaganda about the new law school, or the new medical school. Sales pitches for useless seminars designed to brainwash me about some "new method" of doing something. Even exclusive invitations to kiss the ass of H. Wayne Huizenga - who at the place I got my degree from is a Demi-God worthy of nothing except out highest praise.

But the latest email made all the other spam almost worth it. A 4 day cruise for only $380 for an outside (OCEAN VIEW) stateroom. Double occupancy. Ports of call are Key West and Mexico.
The price includes all port charges and taxes and crap. Also included is "2 category upgrade". I have no clue what this is, but what the hell! FREE UPGRADE! HOORAY! Ill take it!

There is also a private FIU cocktail reception. So free booze is in the deal too. And then there is the $150 worth of onboard coupons.

All this for $760 huh? And I get to go see Mayan ruins in Mexico PLUS ride in a big ass boat? Out in the open sea? With the wind and the waves and dark skies? And a stateroom with an ocean view?

Anyway, I already sent my $400 deposit in. I am applying for a passport next week. I put in a request for the days off. I know someone who moved off to North Carolina that wants to come along. She will have to either fly to Miami Airport, rent a car and drive here, or take a Greyhound Bus. Flying is probably the best option, because taking a bus totally sucks.

Why I Support Public Flogging.

Today when I stepped off the employee shuttle bus, I found someone's ABC gum. With my shoe.

This happens ALL THE TIME at the airport. And not just at the airport, but a bunch of other places as well.

Today, I did not even have to take more than three steps to find someone else's gum with my shoe. On the third step off the bus I could feel my heel ever so slightly stick to the ground.

"Shit. Some nasty F$#KER spit his or her gum on the floor, and I just stepped in it!". So I had to walk to the terminal building like I have polio, scraping my heel along the sidewalk and pavement in an attempt to get the gum off. Again.

Concourse F is the worst place for gum. Almost every time I walk into Concourse F I step in some gum. And that concourse has a carpet floor! What the crap are people thinking when they decide to just spit their gum on CARPET!?!??! Here are my theories:

1. I am so important, everyone else will think it is a blessing to step in my gum!

2. I am a nasty pig sub-human scumbag with no manners. I think I will spit my gum on the floor.

3. I am in transit. Since I will not be staying in the United States, I might as well just spit my gum on the floor.

4. My gum has lost its flavor, and seeing as how my ass is very large and massive because I live in America and eat nothing but McDonalds I will just spit my gum out here. The garbage can that is only 10 feet away is too far.

I propose PUBLIC FLOGGING for this kind of crap. The rule would be pretty simple - get busted spitting ANYTHING on the ground and a kung-fu master flogs you with a wet bamboo rod.

But Lazy One - would you flog a kid because they spit gum on the floor? No, of course not. That would be barbaric. I would flog their parents. If parents will not teach their kids manners the easy way, then they get flogged. If you do not think you can teach proper manners to your kids, and you do not want to be flogged, DO NOT HAVE KIDS! Ask your veterinarian to "fix" you.

Clearly, basic manners are lost with this society. The only way to bring back manners is with flogging. Once you see someone get flogged because they spit a loogie on the sidewalk, or tossed a cigarette but on the ground - you can bet that YOU will not do those same things. With my flogging initiative enacted, the streets will be clean. There would be no litter. There would be no nasty gum on the hot sidewalk for me to step in. Poopy baby diapers would not just get buried in a shallow grave on the beach for someone else to discover.

And America would have some of the most bad ass Kung-Fu masters on the planet. Kung-Fu team America would win the gold, silver, and bronze at the Olympics. Shaolin Monks from Asia would come HERE to train. With the current lack of manners in America today, the masters would have to soak their bamboo rods often or else they would catch fire.

Is this a bit extreme? Possibly. But America is in a manners crisis! Desperate times call for desperate measures.

By the way, we all remember the American punk who was flogged in Singapore for spray painting someone's fence. And guess what? If you go to Singapore, you DO NOT see graffiti. Nor do you see people flick cigarettes on the ground. You will NEVER find chewing gum on the ground. Why? People have manners and respect for property. And they know if they do not have manners or respect for someone else's property, there is a Kung-Fu master with a bamboo rod waiting for them.

Some Crap

Today, the topic is some crap. I grow weary of complicated topics and issues and stuff. Most people can not handle what I have to say anyway. They either do not want to think about stuff that hard OR they lack the grey matter to comprehend what I am saying. They just want to listen to music on an I-Pod and drive like a jackass and complain about gas prices.

I have a license to complain about gas prices because UNLIKE most people in Miami I have modified my driving style. I go slow. I accelerate slow. I brake before I get close to the red light - or at least I let off the gas before I get close to the light. On the expressway, I fail to see why going faster than 55 mph does me a darn bit of good. And Monday when I left work late I got stuck at a train crossing - at which time I cut the engine off.

As opposed to flooring it when the light is green, and driving at least 10 mph above the speed limit, and so on.

But I am getting sidetracked here. I was talking about some crap then I went off on a complicated issue tangent.

It rained for both of my days off. This kind of sucks, because I was planning on trying to do some more sailing in my kayak yesterday. But nooooooo it had to rain all F-ing day. And today same deal. Rain.

So what I did as an alternate activity is buy a new video game for my PS2! Hey, it keeps me off the street and inside my home where I can not possibly cause any harm.

I got "The Godfather". Not the movie, but the video game. It is pretty cool. You get to start mob wars and extort business for protection money and take over rackets and stuff. Some of the cooler things you can do is throw people (usually but not always other mobsters) out of windows, in front of cars, and even into ovens. You know - mobster type stuff.

Yea yea I know that crap about "violent video games" - and it is just that. Crap. There were no video games in the middle ages, and yet "witches" (women who could add) were often burned at the stake. I call that violent. Also the game is rated M, so IF a parent is being a PARENT their kid can not get this game anyway. And if their smart ass kid mows lawns and buys the game - the parent can always take it away. Nobody ever said democracy begins at home! Parents should be Dictators.

You do not want your kids to grow up thinking that anything they buy with their own money is OK. What?? You DO think it is OK?!?! Fine - go buy some pot. When the cops bust you, say "but officer I bought this marijuana with my own money - therefore it is OK!".

Anyway, all this is more of that boring "issues" stuff.

The game plays a whole lot like the Grand Theft Auto series. You can even car jack people, but it is not really a big part of the game.

I rate the game as OK. It is something to do when it rains for your entire weekend.

Flop-Flops And Other Beach Footwear.

I think that flip-flops could be the best of all beach footwear. Unless you want to walk into the ocean - in which case they totally suck because they tend to float away.

There. Now that the NSA has lost all interest in this post, I can get to the good stuff! The subject changes to ECONOMICS in a bit so if you want to skip the first part just skip down exactly two paragraphs. I do not indent here, I leave a blank line. It makes this more readable. I indent only when I intend to print something out.

Remember Bush saying he never flip-flops? Well maybe he never said this, but the spin machine did. Every day on Fox News and Clear Channel radio stations across the nation.

Now remember Bush pushing for illegal immigrant amnesty, while oddly enough being against Amnesty International? Well today in his election time damage control speech he reversed that. Now he is saying he is not calling for illegal immigrant amnesty. Of course I could go on and talk about how in 2000 he ran on an isolationism platform. You know, America should not be the world police and stuff. Of course the "excuse" is 9-11, and that "everything changed". In reality, nothing changed - except for the theory that isolationism makes for a good foreign policy. But we are all supposed to just dummy up, forget all that stuff, and NOT count it as a flop.

But why is he still hell bent on the unpopular "guest worker" idea? The short answer is that the man understands how our economic system works. Bush may speak like a fool - but the man DID go to Yale business school. No matter how much beer drinking you do in the frat house - it is not possible to go to Yale and not learn anything.

Here is the straight dope - which you will only hear from a few sources. The dirty little secret of capitalism.

Capitalism ONLY WORKS so long as there is something to exploit. Think about it for a second. How is capital created? Where do profits come from? You have to exploit something. For many years, natural resources were the exploited item of choice. There were vast reserves of all kinds of good stuff, just waiting for someone to harvest and sell. Iron. Steel. Oil. Gold. Trees. You name it, and it was there. All you had to do was find it, mine it, and sell it!

And life was ok. But there was a problem. The early industrial revolution saw a vast disparity in the distribution of wealth. The barons of industry were rich beyond imagination. You think Bill Gates is rich - well he is. But compared to just how rich the early barons were Bill is just well off.

Meanwhile, the workers had almost nothing. They lived packed into little tiny apartments. Home ownership? Not for factory workers. You were a renter, and your rent went to make the building owner richer. If you got sick, you missed work. When the rent was due, if you were short you got the boot. All your hard work could be wiped out by a two week illness.

So the labor movement was born. And things got better. At the end of WWII, everything came together. People could work, earn a decent wage, become a home owner, buy a car, and go on a road trip. People had things like vacation time, sick leave, and insurance. Stuff was made - HERE! Exports to war-ravaged Europe and Japan created an economic explosion here.

At this point in time, the "trickle down theory" would have worked. People at the top of the economic food chain, if given extra money to invest, would have invested it in more factories here. This would create more jobs. The demand for labor would drive wages UP. People would make more money, and the government would make more money with a lower tax rate.

So what was being exploited? War-ravaged Europe and still abundant natural resources.

But then it all started to unwrap. Asia and Europe rebuilt. Natural resources available in the USA started to become more expensive than overseas resources. Why? Well American Steel required iron mines which are ugly. And smelting plants are ugly and stinky. People with nice houses in the burbs wanted nothing to do with that stuff - and can you blame them?

But overseas - people were more concerned with other things. Like for example a job of their own. The strong value of the dollar meant that labor overseas became cheaper - and all other things being equal it became cheaper to buy from somewhere else than make raw material here. So the great American steel industry started to die.

And this became a pattern that all industry followed. The jet aircraft meant that cargo could move across the globe very quickly. Cargo ships got larger and larger. Ports got deeper. It became feasible to shift large scale production overseas, where the labor was cheaper.

But nobody really noticed. There were still many jobs in the USA. People could still make a good living. But as the 1970s turned into the 1980s, there was a clear trend - jobs were going across the border. Corporations were going multi-national. Cheap labor was the resource of choice - and the corporations were ready to exploit it. As for jobs - multi-national corporations are NOT loyal to any one nation - they are around only to make shareholders money. That is it. If they can bump up stock value or profit margin by moving a factory to China - they will. And even if people in the nation the corporations "live" in can not afford to buy the stuff they sell - no big deal! As long as someone buys it, the system still works. As long as it is NOT your job that moves to India that is.

It is this reason why the trickle down theory is total horse crap. Capitalism says that you exploit the cheapest thing, and right now that is not oil or gold or trees - it is labor. You have no choice! If I can invest my money in place X to make 5% or place Z and make 8%, I go for the 8% return. Numbers - its all about the numbers. Companies MUST make their earnings estimates or else suffer a stock hit. And if your competition moves overseas so must you - for unless you follow you will not be able to compete.

But yet people still insist that if you give the richest massive tax cuts it will create jobs and help the economy. Who insists this? Mostly the rich and the pundits on TV they pay off. And of course the current government. It did NOT work for Reagan - no matter what anyone says. The 1980s boom was built on junk bonds and junk theories - and it crashed in 1988. The boom of the 90s was built on a slump overseas, and the fluke of the internet. And people in general were hopeful about the future, and felt good about what was going on. Loan rates were low, so people could afford homes. While little if any of this stuff was because of Clinton - it was NOT the late results of the trickle down. And Clinton was able to play along with the situation and not screw it up. The stock market bubble DID pop while he was in office, but that was going to happen no matter what. I am sorry, but "Pets.Com" stock was NEVER worth $300 per share. People got crazy, and the day trade revolution allowed this crazy attitude to reach the market.

Still think I am wrong? Lets take a look at today. Bush has cut taxes right? How is the economy right now? Where is all that extra money going? Where is it being invested? Where are the jobs being created? If lowering taxes means more tax revenue collected - then why do we have to borrow so darn much?

The fact is that if you cut taxes at the top, the top sends the money overseas where it can earn a higher return. Jobs ARE being created - only those jobs are not here. They are somewhere else, where people work for cheap and do not have unreasonable requests like American workers have. Sick days??? You mean you want me to pay you because you do not feel like going to work? People in India do not ask for sick days!

To fix things here what needs to be done is to put the top tax rate back where it was, and give those at the BOTTOM the larger cuts. Trickle UP. And it will trickle UP. The poorer you are the more of your income you spend. Consumer spending is the problem here - not investment. But this is not a very popular idea because the corporations and those with deep pockets buy off both parties. Also, it sounds too much like "communism".

And now you have a basic understanding of why Bush can not drop his "guest worker" program. He knows that the ONLY WAY to bring some production back to America is to allow workers from south of the border to come to the USA to work for a few pesos per hour. Business in America NEEDS cheap labor to exploit. And we all know Bush is more loyal to his pals in business than he is to anyone or anything else.

But in the end, the biggest problem capitalism has is that it creates a system where corporations become more powerful than government. Government is accountable to the people, a corporation is not. We are at that point now.

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day. So I took ma out to the 1200 Courtyard Grill which is located in the historic Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables.

The 1200 is a nce place, but not exactly cheap. Of course it IS in the Biltmore Hotel, the place where Presidents and Popes stay when they are in town. The building is fantastic and the atmosphere is that of an Italian mansion. The bill including tax and a 20% tip was $163.

But I suppose ma is worth it.

Hope everyone had a good day!!

Pigs And Pseudo Pigs

This is just one example of why things suck so bad these days.

One of my co-workers, who could be described as my "supervisor" even if I do not really have a supervisor per-say, was in a car accident. Here are the details.

She drove to a La Carreta, which is a somewhat popular cuban restaurant in Miami. There are La Carretas all over the place. They consist of a coffee window with walk up service and a restaurant with tables and sit down service.

Being there for the coffee, she parked in a parallel parking space by the curb in the parking lot. When she opened the door to get out, someone hit the car door and bent it back towards the hood.

Her car was not moving when the accident happened. She was in a parking lot, in a marked parking space, trying to get out of her vehicle.

The driver of the other car is a cop. He was off duty in a private vehicle. A public service aide showed up to the scene because there were no injuries and the accident happened off any major roads. Public Service Aides are like cops, only without guns and powers of arrest. They have a badge and a car with police markings, but they have orange lights as opposed to red and blues. They are employees of the police department.

At first, the cops was Mr. Nice Guy. All "Im sorry" and "lets not involve the police with this because you are at fault" and "I just had a car accident last week and really do not want to get involved with this" and stuff. But the PSA was called anyway. MANY people at the La Carreta saw the accident happen.

When the PSA showed up, all the witnesses vanished faster than illegal immigrants at a Customs and Border Protection picnic. The cop and the PSA got to paling around.

You can probably guess what happened nest. My co-worker was told to sign a report stating she was at fault. When she balked, suggesting that something was not right, the PSA said "You want to do this right? Good! Here is a ticket for wreckless driving". Wreckless driving is a 4 pointer. A MAJOR moving violation. Just one step below felony evasion. When she asked why she was getting a ticket when she was parked and the other car was moving, she was threatened with arrest.

So she signed the ticket and plans to take this to court.

This is what is wrong with this society. People who think the laws do not apply to them. I do not have to obey traffic laws, I am a cop! I can speed and drive poorly and shit, and should something happen someone else gets the ticket.

OR

I am the president. Federal law is for common people, the Constitution is only for Congress - I am above it all.

OR

I can throw a football. I can rape women on campus and the university will cover up for me, because I might cause the team to win the national championship.

OR

I am a multi-millionaire. I can get drunk and mow people down in a car then hire a good lawyer who gets me acquitted on the charge by calling a series of A-List Hollywood movie stars to talk about how great I am.

OR

I am a fat turd with a radio show who said many times all drug users should be sent to jail for life. Then I became addicted to "medicine" so I checked into rehab. But I was never addicted to "drugs" therefore I should not go to jail at all. Any attempt to lock me up for drug use is politically motivated because I am 100% innocent of all charges.

As long as ANYONE is allowed to be above the law - no matter how little the law they are above is - things will just get shittier and shittier.

Why not just be honest and start writing new laws that include a list of who does not have to follow them. Or better yet, create a separate set of laws that apply to people based on their job and/or their economic level. Why not just have poor people laws, rich people laws, black people laws, and so on. That way when a cop is not given a ticket they deserve it will not be special treatment - it will be part of the law! Or when a poor person goes to jail for having one crack rock but a rich person can have hundreds of illegal pills and not go anywhere it will be part of the law! Or when a baseball player shoots up roids it is OK, as long as they keep hitting home runs. And so on.

Then at least nobody will be held above "the law". The law will simply change depending on who you are or what class you are part of. At least this would be honest.

Ides Of June

A friend of mine is thinking of going to Spain for two weeks or so. His mother was born in Spain, and she wants to go see old friends and stuff.

Anyway, there is a little side trip planned. My friend knows someone going to graduate school in Belgium, and is planning a little side trip.

The status of the side trip is not exactly worked out yet. The master plan is to go from Spain to Belgium on the train, and then possibly off to Amsterdam.

Now this got me to thinking. Martin Air flies out of Miami with non-stop service to Amsterdam. Amsterdam is a mere 95 miles from Brussels. And Brussles is pretty close to a whole bunch of other places.

Now lets consider these situations:

1. The side trip to The Netherlands / Belgium will last at least four days.
2. I can manage to get four days approved leave (plus my usual weekend).
3. I get a short notice passport.
4. I can book a round trip flight from Miami to somewhere in Europe and get a rail pass.

The airfare alone is looking like it will set me back at least a grand. I would probably need at least another grand in cash - maybe more because of the value of the Euro compared to the Dollar. It all depends on the budget I decide to stick to. But it will not exactly be a budget basement deal. It will cost something.

Of course it will not be a first class luxury trip either. Coach airfare and a hotel room split at least three ways. Normal resturants - not 5 star places that come with a pirvate chef.

At this point all this is just nothing. Just a thought.

No Comments???

Not one comment for yesterday's post! So before I post anything else I will give the 30% "majority" another chance. If you support Bush please explain why! What has this man done that you support?

OOPS!

I Think I Pissed My Pants!

To The 30%

This post is directed at the roughly 30% who still say The President is doing a good job.

What exactly do you still support? I am having trouble understanding here.

Is it the way the war in Iraq is going? Or how about the way the war in Afghanistan is going, keeping in mind that the Taliban is still there. Maybe not in power right now, but they are still there. And nothing is rebuilt. Military deaths are adding up, and anywhere from 17,000 - 25,000, depending on which source you believe, are injured. And there is no end in sight.

Maybe you like the way Bush protects freedom in the USA by ignoring federal law and an established legal process to wiretap anyone? Lets not forget that even at the height of the Cold War, President Reagan managed to follow these laws. Are the "terrorists" more dangerous than the Russians who had nukes AND the means to send them over here by the hundreds?

Maybe you like his fiscal policy of tax cuts for people with incomes in the top 5%, and soaring debt for everyone else. Lets not forget that Bush Sr. once called the trickle down theory voodoo economics - before he was tapped to be Reagan's VP. The idea is that the people at the top use their tax cuts to invest and create new jobs. The problem is that in these times the investment usually happens overseas. Jobs ARE created - but in China and India.

But surely you must like the way Bush is making America safe from those who would do harm. By not securing our borders I suppose. You know, amnesty for anyone who gets into America illegally - so long as they agree to work for cheap. And how about all that intelligence collected that keeps the free world safe? OOPS! Forgot about the bombings in Madrid and London! I guess those little plots slipped through. If they can slip through, what else can?

Ah - but Bush is Mr. Homeland Security! He put all the agencies responsible for keeping us safe under one roof so they can communicate better! And it worked great for FEMA! Oh wait - it did not work at all for FEMA. And it does not work for anyone else either. Nobody is talking to anyone else. FEMA could not even communicate with the Coast Guard to confirm that New Orleans was flooding. Both FEMA and the USCG are under Homeland Security - but neither agency has cell phone numbers for anyone outside their organization.

And how about the growing number of people Bush has appointed to jobs, only to have to leave in total disgrace? Why anyone would want to take a Bush appointed job at this point is beyond me.

The latest victims of Bush are the former CIA director and none other than Florida's own Katherine Harris. In 2000, Harris could not certify the Florida vote fast enough in favor of Bush. And she got her way, happily handing the State's 25 electoral votes to Bush. Later she would win a seat in Congress, in the House. But today Jeb Bush, the man who appointed her and his brother George will not even be seen with the woman. Her senate race is doomed to fail. When Bush came to FL recently Harris was there to meet him - uninvited. Bush's own staff said that Harris spoke to Bush for only 5 minutes, about the weather. And she did most of the talking.

Poor stooge. She was used up and then discarded like so much trash. Now she had no other choice but to sulk away in disgrace - like so many before her.

I must be leaving stuff out. So this is your chance, if you are in the 30% that still supports the man. What do you support?

Pre-Monday

I invented two new days of the week. I call them Pre-Monday and Post-Friday. Here is how they come into play.

The standard work week is 5 days, with 2 days off. The first day of work is "Monday" and the last work day is "Friday". Now your first day of the work week can be ANY day. Work Monday and real Monday do not always fall on the same day.

Post-Friday is when you work on that 6th day. Pre-Monday is when you work on the 7th day.

Today was Pre-Monday. Tomorrow is Monday. And so on. 100% pure, uncut, overtime.

Primero Dia

The first day of spanish class went fairly well. I learned how to ask people what their name is, how to count from 0 - 39, the days of the week, and the months of the year, how to ask for a phone number, how to tell someone what my name is, and how to tell someone what my phone number is. My best guess for stoping the numbers at 39 is that I really do not need to know numbers past 31. Last time I checked, there is no 45th of May. Oh yea I also learned the spanish alphabet. Some of this stuff I already knew.

So if someone asks me "es este Julio?" I can say "Si, este es Julio.". Then I can run away, for I will know the person asking me the question is crazy. I can deal with not remembering what day it is, but you should at least know what month you are in.

Of course in class the answer to the above question is "No. Este no es Julio. Este es Mayo." Class is often not as much fun as real life.

But now for the important part. There are people older than me and younger than me in the class. I am not the old fart, and I probably have a better job and make more money than those younger. Most of the people in the class seem to be new transplants to Miami, so I have a bit of an advantage. My accento is not nearly as horrible as some of the others, even if my accento gringo is pretty heavy.

The class is not a sausage festival. There is only one other dude in the lot. Most of the other students are in my age group. There is a place to get cafe cubano or cafe americano in the bookstore. Oh yea the class meets in a Borders Bookstore. I may have neglected to mention that.

So far so good.

Aprender Espanol

My non-credit spanish class starts tomorrow. It is part one of a five step process to learn to speak spanish. In theory anyway.

I have taken spanish classes before, in junior high and senior high school - but I was not really into the whole learning spanish thing. Yea, a lot of people in Miami speak spanish - but so what.

Cuando usted esta en America, usted es supuesto hablar ingles.

In theory, anyway.

So I learned squat in high school spanish class. Well not exactly squat, I did learn some verbs and stuff. Just not very much. Mostly I simply lacked the motivation to learn.

But now the language class is important for my job. I got my job on a technicality - and as a result my classification and my pay scale is not the same as everyone else in the office. To keep doing what I do it is vital to pick up at least one more language.

My quest to learn spanish will take roughly a year and some change. The community college offers spanish 1 - 4, plus another class called "advanced conversation". Since it is all non-credit the classes are cheap. Spanish 1 is only $88. The same class for credit would be at least twice as much, and possibly more. The quality of instruction is about the same - the difference is that you get a grade for the credit class.

After I pick up spanish, I still need one more foreign language. I am thinking about italian. But this is off in the future. It all depends on what happens to my classification at work, and if I can continue to do what I do.

It will be worth it in the end.

Drugs, Alcohol, And Cars In D.C.

You may not have heard about this - but Patrick Kennedy crashed his car at 3 AM Thursday morning. CNN is not talking about it every 15 seconds or anything.

Oh wait - they ARE talking about it every 15 seconds. Maybe because Patrick Kennedy happens to be a representative from Rhode Island. Or maybe it is a good diversion from the CIA guy that recently quit, the price of gas, or whatever else is going on that may be important. Who knows.

What I thought was a bit odd was that when the story first broke on Thursday morning, the very first press release said "no alcohol was involved". But at the time, all we knew was that there was a car accident. Car accidents happen all the time without alcohol being involved. Anytime you drive in a car, there is a chance you could be in an accident. Even sober! Yes, sober people crash cars. Some people are just bad drivers.

So why go out of your way to say "HEY! I was not drunk!!!!"? Huh? I mean, if you were not drunk you really do not need to include that info. At this time, nobody was talking about alcohol or drugs or anything. Kennedy brought up alcohol all on his own.

My cynical brain decided that the man probably did have something to drink, and that the "I did not drink anything" was just the first shot fired in the "trial by media" thing that happens so often. By saying he was perfectly sober, he can then say that anyone who says otherwise is engaged in personal attacks.

More evidence for my theory? It was THREE IN THE MORNING! The late vote was at midnight. That leaves three hours - more than enough time to get a bit toasty.

Anyway, as it turned out he now says he was on prescription drugs. This could be true. LOTS OF PEOPLE have problems with prescription drugs. Doctors hand the stuff out like it is Halloween candy. Even well meaning people can get addicted to the stuff without meaning to.

Kind of like some formerly bloated, balding, right wing talk radio hosts. Radio hosts who, I like to add, once said that "all drug users should be locked up" and that rehab did not work. Until HE became a drug abuser - then suddenly not all drug users needed to be locked up, and rehab was a great thing.

Anyway, Mr. Kennedy is going back for more treatment. Maybe this time he can be helped. Until then maybe it is better if he hires a driver.

The Homeless Lady At The Airport.

This is supposed to be a true story. It happened a few years ago.

My department has a fairly nice lounge set aside for our use. The lounge used to be an ultra-premium club for the best customers of an airline that happens to have its Latin American and Caribbean hub where I work. The lounge was only open to first class passengers who were also platinum Plus frequent fliers - often paying thousands of dollars for their seat. Invitation only here!

Anyway, the airline could not keep up the payments for the space. After 9-11 there simply were not enough people paying $5,000 or more for an airline ticket. So the department I work for took the place over once the airline split.

Now the space is still very nice. You get a great view of the ramp - one of the best views of the ramp operation in the airport. It is only opened up by special request, and then only for people fairly far up the food chain.

Anyway, the cleaning people were doing their thing in the lounge one day. After they finished the cleaning crew left the door unlocked. Not really a big deal, the place is tucked out of the way and not exactly out in the open.

In spite of this, a homeless person that decided to hang out in the airport found the open lounge. The lounge has a kitchen, bathrooms, showers, sofas, a nice glass table, a great view, and even a TV. Pretty nice digs.

Needless to say, the homeless lady decided that it was a nice rent free apartment. So she just hung out there. During the day she would go out in the main terminal and panhandle or collect luggage carts then sell them to people for a buck (it usually costs three bucks to rent a cart) and so on. When it was time to chill, she would go "home" to the lounge and watch TV or whatever. She probably drank up all the non-perishable items kept in the club (sodas and bottled mineral water and whatnot).

It took almost a week before anyone noticed. The police knew about the lady that would pop in the terminal daily, thinking she was simply using the public bus to get in and out. She never caused a security concern because she never tried to access restricted areas - she would remain in the public area. As long as she was not pestering passengers too bad, they sort of let her be. Homeless people have to go somewhere after all, and if I were homeless a big air conditioned building where I would not have to worry about street violence would seem to be a good place to go.

Word is that there was one thing in the lounge that she did not use - the showers.

And The Winner Is...........

So today I managed to find the energy to take the kayak out.

Now before you say "big deal! I found the energy to go to work you lazy bum!" let me say this.

1. It was my day off. So Sunday when YOU are being a bum I will be at work having office chair races because all the bosses on the floor are gone.
2. That's it.

Anyhow I loaded the kayak rack into the truck bed, tied it in place, got the kayak out from the backyard, put it on the rack, tied the kayak in place, then loaded all the other stuff that goes along with the kayak. Like the paddles and the Mirage Drive and the cooler full of beer and stuff.

But I forgot the kayak seat. That sucked.

I need to modify my nifty beach umbrella holder thing. When I first launched it was not long before the umbrella flew out of the holder and sank. So I had to drop anchor and go swimming for it. Then I had to climb back into the kayak without flipping it over. The second time I lost the umbrella was in deep water near the Key Biscayne channel - but the umbrella landed in such a way that it floated so I could get it. I also lost the lower legs for the holder. I need to glue my PVC holder together, and drill a hole to pin the umbrella in place.

The important thing was that I did not loose any beer. I took along Samuel Adams Summer Ale and Cherry Wheat.

Under VERY STRICT scientific conditions I experimented with both beers to see which one was the better boat beer. Here are my scientific findings.

1. Cherry Wheat has a very light and refreshing body. There is more than a hint of cherry flavor in the stuff, but yet it is still beer - as opposed to cherry Kool-Aid with some alcohol in it (frat boy drink).

2. Summer Ale is also a light refreshing beer, with a trace of lemon flavor in the background. Like Cherry Wheat it is fairly light on alcohol content, which is good for the boat. Heavy high alcohol beers are just too much when you are out on the water. The idea is to kick back, relax, and have a good day out on the water - not get bombed and crash into a day marker.

The picture above is an example of what NOT TO DO when out in a boat. By the way, according to the info this happened in Biscayne Bay. This guy was either running at night, or had too much to drink. Either way, it does not look like very much fun was had by anyone on that boat.

Time to announce the beer winner!


The Cherry Wheat is good - but not exactly boat beer good. The cherry flavor is too strong. It is not overwhelming or anything, but it just does not taste like beer. Cherry Wheat is the kind of thing you might order after dinner - or kick back with while hanging out under a tree after mowing the lawn.

So the winner is Samuel Adams Summer Ale. This is the official beer of the summer, and the beer of choice for a day out on the boat.

Ho-Hum

Today was a lazy day. So lazy that I have a THEME SONG for it.

What a great theme song for today! I was going to do something today - but then I decided not to. It is hot outside, and I have more than enough beer right here! Why leave? Why do anything?

So I spent a good deal of time today hanging out under the tree in the yard. I also ran the boat engine for a few minutes, and got Max some more food. Other than that - NADA!

Tomorrow I am going to try very hard to get up and take the kayak out somewhere. Possibly to Key Biscayne. Maybe. I will try very VERY hard, but I will not promise anything. I might squander both my days off, doing nothng but sitting under a tree. With a few beers. When that gets too boring, I take a nap - still under the tree.

Sweet.

Work

I have time to post about what I did Saturday! A little late, but whatever.

My request for a day off was approved at the last moment. But there was a catch. I had to be at work at 5 AM - 6 AM to take care of some business. At 6 AM I clocked out and drove to the Habitat For Humanity job site.

The project involved building 10 homes in 2 weeks. The 10 homes were all sponsored by various organizations. Miami-Dade County sponsored one, Publix Super Markets had one, Florida Power And Light had one, and so on.

For the County sponsored home, each day a different department had to supply the labor. My department was there on the final day of the build blitz. The house was there, the roof was pretty much finished, the windows were in place, the doors were hung, and so on.

What was left to do was green the place in, and do some finishing work on the house. Shelves had to be hung, windows needed to be cleaned, all the construction mess had to be cleaned up, baseboards had to be glued in place, tile had to be put down, and so on.

Somehow, I managed to draw the "green the place in" jobs. The site was stripped bare by all the building. Not a blade of grass to be found anywhere. But this was OK, because the forklifts dropped off piles of sod and a truck came by with oak trees in pots. How lucky!

I started off the day laying sod. This is actually very easy. You just take a hose, wet the ground till its all muddy and nasty, plop the sod in place, then water some more. Not too bad. There were also some little plants that were already in the ground around the front porch. This area was to get some mulch. And of course water.

So I put down some sod - but not much. The women on my team did most of this. Early in the day my main job was to shovel mulch into carts, and then dig holes.

Digging a hole in South Floirda is a bitch and a half. You get about a foot down - IF you are lucky - then you hit limestone. The good part is that limestone is soft and easy to break up with some simple tools - the BAD NEWS is that there is a whole lot of it.

But the trees needed about a three to four foot hole to be planted in. Someone painted some circles on the freshly laid sod, and I got to work digging it up. At first I made pretty good progress with a shovel, but it was not long before I needed the pick axe.

It is not a mental challenge to dig a hole. You shovel the loose dirt till it is too rocky to dig, put the shovel down, pick up the pick, break up the rocks, then use the shovel again. Inch by lousy inch you dig the hole. My house had three trees to plant. I dug one of those holes - mostly on my own but I did have some help.

After doing such a good job with the pick axe, they had me dig the mailbox post hole. For post hole digging you need a trenching shovel OR a post hole digger and a breaker bar. A trenching shovel is similar to a regular shovel only the blade is very narrow and longer. A post hole digger looks like a giant ear wax removal tool. It has two long handles attached to some steel blades on a pivot. You bring the poles close together, stick the blades (which are in the "open" position at this point) into the dirt, move the handles apart (closing the blades so they grip the dirt), then remove the tool from the hold and dump the dirt out.

The breaker bar is simply a large heavy steel pole, with a chisel point at one end. You use the breaker bar by beating the crap out of something with it. Kind of like a jack-hammer only MUCH slower progress.

but I dug out the post hole, which was deeper than the tree hole - but not at wide. It was not as hard to dig out. The mailbox post was set in place, concrete mix was dumped in the hole (one whole bag), and then water was added to the hole. Then the dirt was replaced.

Next job for me was tree staking. For this I needed some tree stakes (in this case cut up sections of steel re-bar), a sledge hammer, and a regular hammer. I used the regular hammer to start the stake into the ground. When the regular hammer stopped working I used the claw part of the hammer to hold the stake, stepped on the handle of the hammer to prevent it from moving, then used the sledge to drive the stake into the ground.

This was work. I put in the stakes for all three trees, and then tied the trees to the stakes. This wil give them a chance to root without a strong wind blowing them over. After a few months the new homeowner will have to remove the stakes.

If you want to stake your new trees - you must remember to do one thing. SET THE STAKES AT AN ANGLE AWAY FROM THE TREE! This is very important. Driving the stakes straight in will make them easy to pull out. All you need is a 15 - 20 degree angle sway from the tree.

All this made me remember something. At "work" I really do not "work". I am inside an air conditioned building wearing a suit. Yea I have to walk a lot - but big deal. I have legs and feet. But I am in an air conditioned building wearing a suit! How much work can I possibly be doing!

The answer is not much. Real work is digging a hole in South Floirda. You do not see people wearing a suit ever doing this. When I go home from a regular day at "work" I do not wake up the next morning sore. Well Sundaty I was a bit sore here and there. And a little sun burnt.

But it was a good experience. I will do it again the next time Dade County sponsors a Habitat For Humanity home. I am getting to be a fairly decent hole digger.