The Dentist

You know how they say "your gums should not bleed when you brush your teeth"?? Well, my gums bleed.

And why not? I mean I AM taking this brush and scraping crap off my teeth. And flossing! Oh hell. How are you not supposed to bleed when you take this string, cram it into little gaps in your teeth, then move that string all around?

So anyway, I made an appointment for the dentist. I have to go today at 2:15 PM.

I know the routine. I go, they say "never stick anything sharp into your mouth!". Then they cram a bunch of sharp crap into your mouth.

And it seems like it is some dentist law to have decent looking technicians. You know, the chicks that do the routine cleaning. All the dentist does is poke at your teeth with a sharp object looking for soft spots to drill out.

Not that I complain about the chicks that do the routine cleaning. But it does kind of suck. It is IMPOSSIBLE to flirt with a chick that has just removed a bunch of rancid crap from the little gaps in your teeth. There is the little bits of food, plaque, and tiny chunks of bloody gums, and whatever else she can find in there. And it gets all over that clear plastic welding mask thing they wear!

Gross. Mega gross.

But at least I will have some clean teeth. Ill let you know how many cavities need to be drilled.

Post 426

Welcome to post number 426! I should know. I counted them all.

Actually - that is a lie. I did not count them. Blogger counted them. I will just take their word for it. I am far too lazy to verify this number. On top of the laziness, I am not obsessive-compulsive. OCD and laziness are mutually exclusive.

Then again, I do fall for those stupid web based "tests". Like this one for example.

I'm a Porsche 911!

You have a classic style, but you're up-to-date with the latest technology. You're ambitious, competitive, and you love to win. Performance, precision, and prestige - you're one of the elite,and you know it.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

And all this time I thought I was a 1967 Camaro, or possibly a GTO. Go figure. What I need to find now is a "what kind of boat are you" quiz. I would probably be a sloop.

Off to another subject! Some smart-ass types commented that the whole "I like my job" post was the result of beer and tequila. While I can not say there was no beer or tequila involved, the message is still correct. I never wake up and think "oh crap! I have to go to work!". Going to work does not put me in a bad mood - so I am in the same mood on a Monday morning as I am on a Friday afternoon.

Another thing - SOMEONE needs to invent a "drunken spell checker". Standard spell checks work OK - but when you have to spell check a drunken post all the laws of spell-check physics break down like molecules in a black hole. For example, you try to type "cosmic". What you actually type is "clsmuc". Spell check suggests "clumsy" or "chasm". Clearly, humanity NEEDS a drunken spell check. The computer geek that invents one will make a lot of money.

Now for the last thing for post number 426. How lazy am I? Well today at work I came to a conclusion. While going off to a gate one of the moving walkways was not working. So I mutter "shit" to myself. Am I so lazy that I MUST use the moving walkways and/or escalators? Yes I am! Most of the time I walk on the moving walkways, but sometimes I just stand there and let the sidewalk move me.

Editors Note

The post below is the result of much beer drinking, and possibly some tequila.

I love My Job!

When I was in college, I used to think that it was not important to like your job. After all, a job was just thinking you do to earn a paycheck. Nothing more, nothing less.

You know what? I believed that crap. Really. I truly believed that no matter what, ANY job I had would be nothing than something that I had to do to get by on this planet.

But then I got the job I have now.

Let me tell you, I am blessed. I have a job that I would have NEVER imagined that I could get. If you would go back in time and tell me "you will have a job you will like going to" I would have laughed.

But somehow I managed to to get a job I like. Do not ask me how. Through the grace of some cosmic force, I was selected. And believe me, not a single day passed me that I do not contemplate just how lucky I am.

So there. I love what I do, and I do know how blessed I am to have the job I have. I could not have a better supervisor OR a better manager.

So no matter WHAT happens - I want to sat this now. I am proud to do what I do. I am honored to be able to do what I do. Every day I go to work I think to myself how lucky I am.

So that is all. I am lucky to do what I do - and I realize that. I know that I am lucky. And I am honored! Every day I go to work thinking how lucky I am. Every day I count my blessings. And most importantly I think how lucky I am.

I know this cosmic force is here. I have no evidence, yet I have more evidence than I need.

So I have just one thing to say something to this comic force.

May your house ALWAYS be too small to hold all your friends.

I raise my glass to this. May your house always be too small to hold all your friends.

Back To Work.

It seems that the mini-vacation to Sanibel Island and Fort Myers FL is over.

But the four days were not a total loss. Far from it. It is always nice to get away, even if it is for a short time. I got lazy - the digital camera was never unloaded from the truck. There are no photos. Oh well. I will dig up the photos from last year at some point and put em on lazyiguana.org - unless I forget.

The next vacation is the cruise. And then beyond that it really does look like the planned invasion of Eastern Europe will happen! I have pretty much narrowed it down to two cities. Dresden Germany and Prague in the Czech Republic. More on this when I book my flight!

By the way, allow me some time to plead for donations to my newest favorite charity. Imagine the discomfort of having to fly from Miami to London in the back of a 777, with all the other people in coach class. Back in coach, seats are cramped. The food is not as good. But YOU CAN make a difference for one person! For just a few bucks, you can contribute to a business class upgrade for one person! The business class upgrade also allows that one lucky person access to an airline club, where they can relax in style before the flight.

If you would like to sleep better at night knowing that you DID make a difference to make the world a better place for one human being - email me and Ill float you the info needed to make a PayPal donation!

Remember - you CAN make a difference!

Anyway, I plan to donate as much as I can to the cause. But by myself, all I can do is provide for coach airfare for one person. Your help is needed. So do not be cheap.

Anyhow, as of today it will be business as usual here on my site. As soon as I can come up with more stuff to post here. It might be political. It might be about Pimms (stay tuned for my Pimms post, it will be great!). It might be about how the cats chewed a hole in the cat food bag and when I went to pick the bag up to feed them ALL the cat food went all over the place. Who knows.

Last Day For This Year!

Today (Tuesday) is my last day for this little mini-vacation on Sanibel Island. I will be back next year - so it really is not that bad.

My friend from Lakeland had to leave early Monday afternoon. Some people have to be back at work today. I do not. I get to go back to work on Wednesday.

But the time I was able to spend with my friend was worth the trek across the State for! I went to eat at some places I would otherwise would not have gone to. And I went to a Fossil Factory Outlet store and got a new wallet. The factory outlet shops were not my idea, as I do not really need a matching wallet for a Coach purse. But I found some stuff there anyway. Not at the Coach store. The wallets at the Coach store were all $70. If I bought one of those, I would have nothing left to put into the wallet and therefore no reason to have one.

After my friend had to leave, I was left to my own devices. So I lugged out the yellow kayak for the first time this trip. Beach launching the thing is easy - but using the thing takes some effort. You see, YOU are the motor! If you want the kayak to move, YOU have to find a way to push on water. I can use the paddles, or the Mirage Drive. With the paddles, my arms and upper body get to move the thing. Under the Mirage Drive my legs move the boat.

The sail kit lets the wind move you, but for it to work there has to be wind. But not too much wind because the kayak is too narrow.

But I am leery about going into the water anyway. At the boat ramp there was a dead manatee. It was not chopped up by a boat, so the likely cause was RED TIDE. This year the red tide is pretty bad. Almost every morning there are dead fish on the beach. Charter fishing boats report the bottom is dead out to 25 miles. Of course to a charter boat skipper "dead to 25 miles" does not mean there are NO fish at all - it means that there are not enough fish to make customers feel like they at least had an honest chance to catch something.

The bicycle is still locked up downstairs. It is probably not going to get used.

I have totally neglected to charge the digital camera, so there are no photos. I may try to fix this when the sun is up.

Too Darn Many Spies!

I had long suspected that the CIA was reading my random postings on topics ranging from complex geo-politics to what kind of beer I like best (which by the way remains a good IPA).

Anyway - now I have proof! There is a blog that I read fairly frequently that was written by a former spook who was fired for daring to state that (get ready for this major leaking of super top secret stuff) torture may be wrong.

I read Blog X and the person who writes Blog X reads my stuff. You can find out what Blog X is by simply clicking on my links, it is there. You will know it when you see it. But there is the proven known CIA link to this.....well this crap. Honestly, what I write is mostly crap. It will not change anything, and there is NO EVIDENCE I know what I am talking about. Of course, according to some squinty, beady eyed people in positions of power the absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. So maybe I do know what I am talking about after all!

But the end result is I thought for a bit about torture. You know, the thing that "makes America strong and able to fight the war on terror". After all - the terrorist use torture! So we must use torture methods to be on a level playing field.

If this makes logical sense to you, then you have failed Lazy Iguana Logic Class. Here is why.

Remember those old westerns? You know, the ones where the guy in the black hat is up to all sorts of no good things and the guy in the white hat has to save the woman tied to the railroad tracks?

Lets just assume America is the guy in the white hat, and the terrorists are the guys in the black hat. That makes America the "good guy" and the terrorist the "bad guy". With me so far? GOOD! I will now slay the "we must torture" argument once and for all.

The GOOD GUY is at a disadvantage. He must follow all the rules and play fair. The bad guy is the BAD GUY! He is the bad guy because he lies, cheats, steals, kills, and tortures. He CAN ignore the laws and rules because if he followed them he would not be the bad guy!

If America wants to take on the role of the good guy, then we must wear the white hat. We MUST play by all the rules - even if the bad guys don't. This is what makes US the good guys!

If the nation resorts to the same methods as the bad guys, then we are no better from a moral standpoint.

I would love to hear a talking head on Fox News spin this one. They would probably just say I am a moron who does not know squat about crap, or I am just a liberal who wants America to loose the war.

And all because I think that the good guys ought to play by the rules.

HA HA! I Am Here And You Are Not!

That is right. I am here and you are not! Day 1 on Sanibel Island went pretty good. I was able to sleep till something like noon or something. At least. The kayak and bicycle are unloaded. I do not know if I will use the bike, but I lugged it over here just in case. SUE ME OK?!?!?! I just do not have a lot of time over here as I have to leave in time to be at work on Wednesday.

So here is what I managed to do today!

1. Met up with a friend of mine who is visiting from Lakeland Florida. Meeting up with old friends kicks ass. We were able to catch up on stuff and stuff. There was much merry making and alcohol consumption. We went on an adventure to find sushi in Fort Myers. We did find a Japanese steak house where they cook at your table and crap - but no sushi. There was this one place but it was just a little too "trendy" for me. I had a good 10 years more of drinking experience than the average person at the sushi place. So I just ordered two vodkas NEAT (no ice, no olives, no soda, no red bull, no ANYTHING other than VODKA) and left.


2. Spent over $100 on booze. I bought some Parrot Bay coconut rum, some Barbancourt Haitian Rum (pretty good shit by the way), Chopin Vodka (premium crap from Poland), Bacardi Limon, and some Bombay sapphire Gin (the BEST gin on the planet by the way). Hell Yea!

3. Got the satellite radio working in the apartment.

4. Opened the bottle of wine from Spain. This is some EXCELLENT shit. It is not too dry, but not fruity either. Truly, it is a very good red wine. And now that it is open (this is the best part) I have to drink it ALL before it gets nasty. So guess what I get to do when I wake up!

That is about it for now. Ill try to take some pictures and post them on lazyiguana.org - but right now the digi cam is in the truck with a low battery. So in other words, unless I get UNLAZY quickly it is unlikely there will be many photos taken when I wake my lazy ass up.

And to rub salt into your knife gash - just finished drinking a pineapple juice, coconut rum, and bacardi limon concoction. HA! I so rule.

Made It!

Well - I am on the island. Somehow or another.

My day off request was approved sometime on Friday. I showed up at wprk with the kayak tied to the roof of the truck. I had to return home after work to finish packing and stuff.

I got home at about 8:00. Three beers and 3.5 hours later, I left Miami. I have my bicycle, all the kayak stuff (except for the anchor, I forgot that - I will have to fill a milk jug with sand or find a big ass rock), and most importantly some Myers Rum, a few beers, a bottle of Spanish Wine, and such.

Anyhow, I got to Sanibel at 4 AM. I stopped in Naples to get some food, and drove through some foul weather. There was a cool lightning show, but not good driving conditions. So I got in at 4 AM. It took a little longer to get across the state. Oh yea and I had to swerve to avoud running over an alligator on (you guessed it!) a section of I-75 known as "Alligator Alley".

And Gigi outsmarted the humans! When it was time to collect the cats to take em to the vet for boarding, Gigi hid somewhere. Sake was the first cat captured and sounded the "humans are putting cats in the cages" alarm. Fred had to be pulled from under a bed hissing and spitting. Gigi was nowhere to be found. The cats were rounded up by my parents while I was at work. I told them to capture Gigi first but they failed to listen.

So Gigi is still at the house. She was left with extra food and water. I was told that when the humans returned Gigi was hanging out in plain sight - safe in her cat knowledge that she was not going to be stuffed into a cage and driven to someplace that smells of strange cats and dogs. She was doing her "I outsmarted you!" victory prance, and meowing for some food. She likes to nibble on very small amounts of food frequently.

Up In The Air.

All I know is that I know nothing.

I am still awaiting the results of "operation ditch work".
I still do not know if I can leave Friday after work.
I do not know if I can take a half day Saturday if I can not leave after work Friday.
I do not know if I will have to leave Saturday after work.
I am not packed.
The kayak is not strapped to the truck.
The hitch hauler and bicycle is not on the truck.
I am still awake.
I do not have nearly enough vacation beer (Ill have to buy that later).
I still have not watched the movie I rented that is due tomorrow.

In other words, I am a total mess here. This is the price one pays for the deadly sin of SLOTH.

Willy-Nilly

This is going to be "one of those crazy all over the place" posts. I have a lot of things to get out of the way. So if you get bored skip to the next number!

1. We need the NEXT President of the USA to know how to CHEW WITH HIS/HER MOUTH SHUT! You have probably seen the video footage of Bush dropping the S bomb. I really do not care that he said "shit". More on this later. But come on! KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN YOU EAT! He looked like a horse eating barley. And Mr. President, there are these things called "forks" and "spoons". You do not have to shovel food into your noise hole using your hands. Really now. Chewing with your mouth shut is so simple, even a caveman can do it. In fact, most children get their first lesson in proper manners by learning to not chew with their mouth open.

2. Who cares if Bush said "shit"? EVERYONE says shit! I say shit all the time! Shit is one of the words I use most frequently. To be blunt, I do not give a shit that Bush said shit. And using the Alberto Gonzalez / US Justice Department logic of "the president is never wrong" EVERYONE can say shit on the TV and radio! It is now OK! The FCC can not fine you for saying shit, unless they fine the President first. This will not happen. The word shit is now de-classified and no longer off limits! Go at it!

3. Stem cells. Bush, for the first time ever, used the veto over the stem cell thing. The Senate and House passed the bill, but he did not sign it into law. You see, a lump of cells is a human life - and human life is sacred. So I will go with his "logic" on this. IF these stem cells are a sacred human life, what gives with keeping them in a FREEZER? And if the cells ARE a human life and they can survive in a freezer, then ALL HUMAN LIFE can survive in a freezer right? And what about the babies he had show up for a photo-op? The babies were the product of frozen cells transplanted into a woman. So clearly the cells ARE a human life. Slavery is banned. Yet the cells are for sale! You have to pay up thousands of bucks to get a lump of cells! Is that NOT the same as trafficking human life? I mean, they are SELLING this life right? And other people are BUYING the life. Sounds like slavery to me!

4. No matter how hard I try to see it the other way, a lump of cells in liquid nitrogen is just not "life". It is "medical waste". This is what will happen to the vast majority of these cells. And when they ARE thrown out, if that murder? If the power cuts out and the cells defrost, is the power company guilty of murder? Couples that have the cells created by artificial means in order to produce a baby have THOUSANDS made. So if they only bring one lump of cells to life and have the rest tossed did they "kill" thousands of people? It is just crazy.

5. Try to imagine the same speech Bush gave after the stem cell thing - only in the place of the snowflake babies lets put in some people with spinal cord injuries. Or people with M.S, M.D, ALS, in need of a liver or kidney transplant, suffering from cancer, or whatever. Not good enough? OK then lets stick in children suffering from all those things. Would his "we must protect life" speech fit?

6. I want to be EXCLUDED form the President's, or ANY politician's view of religion. I wonder what Bush would do if someone in his family had an illness that stem cell research might be able to fix. No doubt he would say "let them die, for it is God's will". And if he does, fine. It is really up to the individual. But I do not hold such views. Let those opposed to stem cell research shun ANY medical procedure that resulted from stem cell research - and let those of us who DO want the research be able to use it. See how easy that is?

7. Last point on the subject - if human life is really all that great, how about national health coverage for the poor and uninsured? How about free pre-natal care for all women - even the poor ones? How about free health care for all children up to age 18? Cost too much you say? But life is priceless right?!!? Plus, it will give us more strong healthy 18 year olds to draft into military service, so that they can go kill or be killed somewhere else. It seems that human life is only worth anything when that life is in a freezer. Once it is breathing air, it is cannon fodder. Or eligible for the death penalty.

8. The evangelical crowd is flocking to "support" Israel. And of course by "support" the evangelicals mean "speed up the end of the world". These people have been saying "this is the last generation" for decades now. They just can not WAIT for a major war in the Middle East because then Jesus can come back and they can all be raptured in an instant to Heaven. Crazy huh? You bet it is! Lets kill a bunch of people so a man of peace can return! And they expect him to not be pissed off. Of course a man of peace could never BE pissed off, for that is not very peaceful. So keep this in mind of you are Jewish. The evangelicals will support you ONLY to serve their ends, which is the stuff they think is written in the Book Of revelations. And by the way, they might not tell you this but they believe Jews will not go to Heaven - unless they accept Jesus as the Son Of God.

9. If you believe in all this "end of the world" crap do me a favor. Go to wherever you think the final battle will be - and fight the battle YOURSELF. Leave me out of it. Lets get all the people that want a Holy War together in the same place and let them go at it. When they are done killing each other the rest of the world can get on with the 21st Century.


I could go on but I grow weary. All this stuff just sucks. It all sucks except for the "we can say shit" thing that is.

Show Me The Money!

First off, I want to begin with something I swiped from The Devil Uno's blog. Here it is.

Pretty good huh? Now usually these kinds of things are only mildly amusing. But in this case the computer code came fairly close! I do like instant gratification, and I like to get all my analysis done at night. When I have to get up before noon I resemble a zombie. And so on.

Anyway - on to the good stuff! Unless you are Amish and do not own a TV, radio, or computer you are probably aware that Israel is bombing Lebanon. Depending on which side you ask, the other side is at fault for everything. Nothing really new here.

But stuck in the cross-fire are foreign nationals. I keep seeing the figure of 24,000 US Citizens. Some of these citizens may in fact hold dual citizenship (it is always handy to have a US and a fill in the blank passport). Others are just there for a variety of reasons.

Now in 2003 the Congress seems to have changed the rules for citizens who found themselves in an instant war zone. It seems that the republican held (hostage) government thought that people ought to PAY for their evacuation. Clearly it is the government's job to START wars, not evacuate people stuck in one (NOTE - the USA did not start this war, UNLESS you ask Hezbollah, but in the opinion of the Lazy One Hezbollah is the most guilty party here).

So at first, Citizens were told to pay for their own way out. Either via commercial means (keeping in mind one of the first things Israel bombed was the international airport so that the soldiers kidnapped could not be moved out by air to Iran or something), or through State Department provided means. And by LAW, if the US Government provided for your evacuation you were to be billed "commercial fare plus $1".

But now it seems that the 2003 law is being questioned. And the White House is doing the waffle here! Yesterday the press secretary was all "its US law here! We HAVE TO charge people for getting them out of a war zone!". And now it is all "nobody will not be evacuated because they lack the funds". Who knows what the position will be tomorrow.

Will the government decide that they should evacuate the people that (used to) "own" the government? Will the president and members of congress remember that it is the PEOPLE that are the boss (at least they were, back in the days when there were these things called "elections" where people would "vote")? Will people displaced by an unexpected war need a credit card to get on the military helicopter? Will those unable to fork over a few Franklins be forced to take out a loan or else be left behind?

Or will Bush just decide that once again, he does not have to worry about "the law" and simply order everyone to be evacuated?

Well folks, judging from the way the federal government evacuated people after Hurricane Katrina, if I were stuck in Lebanon I would try to pass myself off as British and get my ass on a Royal Navy ship.

Blog Spam

Is there anything more pathetic than blog spam? I get it from time to time, but I just delete it and forget about it.

But just now, while deleting some blog spam comment - I could not help but wonder what the hell that crap is all about. Do people click links they see in comments, comments that are obviously spam?

And what about the people that create the stuff? How pathetic are they? I mean, all of 10 people MIGHT read comments here. Maybe. Who knows the exact number, but I am fairly confident that it is not a very large number.

So if 1% of people who read spam click links, and 10 people read comments here - then the spammer can expect that ONE TENTH of a person is likely to visit a link.

And yet, from time to time, I have to delete some blog spam. Go figure.

Stuff To Do Before I Can Leave

The clock is ticking.

This is the WORST part of the whole vacation thing. The days before you leave. There is so much crap to do, and not a whole lot of time to be lazy and put off doing stuff.

For example, a while ago I bought a Standard Horizon MST70 that I never bothered to install in the boat. Well today I put the thing in. I got the thing brand new for $25. The new radio sounds much better then the old one.

But that is not all! The bilge pump decided to not work so well. So I had to fiddle with the automatic float switch. I got the thing to decide to work again. The raw water pump, navigation lights, and critical electronics still work.

I still need to get some pins for the bimini top. The old ones keep falling out. Then the trailer tires need some air. So I have to remember to get that taken care of.

Anyway, why is it that going on vacation requires so much work? It is like I need a pre-vacation AND a post-vacation to recover from all the crap I have to do before the ACTUAL vacation. There is the packing, the cleaning out of the vehicle, the getting everything ready, and so forth.

OH CRAP! I also need to remember to get some cable to secure the kayak. See what I am talking about?! Another thing to do. Oh yea and I need to re-supply my stash. I am pretty much out of booze. I can do this right before I leave Miami. It is a tradition that I hit up Travoli's Booze Emporium on my way out of this pace.

And then AT Sanibel I have to haul everything up four flights of steps! There is no elevator, or even a rope and pulley!

This is another reason I kind of want to get this cruise thing over with already. All I have to do for that is pack! That is it! No getting anything ready. No stairs. I just drive to the Port Of Miami, park, get out, walk to the terminal, get on the boat, dump my crap off in the stateroom, then commence the festivities.

But for now I have one more day off - and crap still left to do. There is no time left to be lazy!

Updates And Stuff

Wow! A lot of stuff has happened since the last post! And when I say "a lot of stuff" I mean a few things. A lot of things sounds better.

1. My passport arrived. Now I can start collecting cool immigration stamps. There is one thing that worries me a little bit. The front cover looks normal, as does the ID page. But the page after the ID page has this logo and is stamped "NOT VALID FOR RE-ENTRY TO THE UNITED STATES".

2. Syd Barrett died at the age of 60. Syd was one of the guys who started Pink Floyd, the other one of note being Roger Waters. David Gilmore was brought into the band to take up the slack for Syd Barrett when he started to loose his grip on reality. Syd came up with the early band's signature sound by playing his guitar with a Zippo lighter, and fed the guitar into an echo / distortion machine. Syd songs are so different from the stuff Waters was writing, that it is easy to pick them out of the early albums. Here are some Syd Barrett songs when he was with Pink Floyd.

1. Scream Thy Last Scream (unreleased bootleg thing - not good audio quality)
2. Bike.
3. See Emily Play. (VIDEO!!)
4. Arnold Lane. (VIDEO!!_
5. Astronomy Domine.
6. Apples And Oranges (released as a B side single)
7. Scarecrow. (VIDEO!!)
8. Vegetable Man (another B side single. Good luck finding this one in print!).

And then there is the Syd Barrett solo work! This was done after he left the band. It seems he did not leave willingly, his unpredictable behavior caused the band to sort of leave him behind.

1. Effervescing Elephant.
2. Birdy Hop.
3. Word Song.
4. Milky way.
5. Terrapin.
6. No Good Trying.

It is pointless to try to "figure out" what these songs mean. If they have any meaning at all, it was only to Syd himself. You either enjoy his stuff or you do not. It really is that simple. Syd was one of those people who will just never come around again.

3. My Generals and Chiefs Of Staff have begun to plan my conquest of Europe. The invasion date is top secret, so as to catch everyone off guard. Nobody will know when I will arrive by air! I will just show up, probably in London. I want to have a long layover at LHR Airport so I can leave and go to the city for the sole purpose of having many pints of ale. As long as I am not flying the plane, I figure I might as well be drinking. Many tankards of ale shall meet their untimely demise! Anyone who wants to join my army is welcome to enlist - I need many troops to pull off my plan to drink all the beer in London.

4. My war planners also came up with "Operation Ditch Work" that will allow me to go to Sanibel this Friday after work! All I need is a life size, full color, cutout of myself. I will put this cutout in my cubicle Friday night. Nobody will realize I am not there Saturday! Nifty huh? If Operation Ditch Work is a success, I will have four days on the West Coast of Florida. I will arrive Friday night, in time to stop by The Jackaranda for a drink.

Man VS Nature

It is a classic theme in literature. Man VS Nature. For centuries, nature was the enemy, something that needs to be beaten. Nature would cause your crops to fail, and therefore cause you to starve. Nature would cause your drinking water to dry up. Nature would flood your village. Nature would cause disease.

Nature was better off cut down, burned out, tunneled through, displaced, or removed. This is one reason why back in the "good old days" nobody cared about pollution. Bears could hide behind trees, therefore to protect yourself from bears the thing to do was cut down the forest and make houses and furniture.

But today, nature is no longer the enemy. It seems MAN is the enemy, pushing nature into a corner and giving it no other option than fighting back. Global warming. Climate change. More and stronger hurricanes. Depleted food stocks. And so on.

So today when I was going to work, I looked at the lawn and thought to myself "shit the lawn needs to be mowed - again". Then it occurred to me. Does it REALLY need to be mowed? I mean, why bother. It is just going to grow back again. I will NEVER defeat the lawn, no matter how hard I try. It will win - sooner or later. I am powerless against the raw, primal force that is the lawn.

And WHY do we mow lawns? Because society says so? So our lawns will conform to some accepted social standard? So your lawn will look like all the other lawns on the block?

This is not for me. I desire the lawn of a free thinker. I desire the lawn of a revolutionary. I desire a lawn that says to the world "I am me and I do not give a crap what you think!". I want a lawn that breaks all social norms and starts a NEW trend! I want a lawn that reflects the fact that in the end, man is powerless against nature. I want a lawn that acknowledges the reality that man must learn to live WITH nature, and not try to fight it so much.

And I can do all these things by not mowing.

Cats Are A Pain In The Ass.

So it is close to 1 AM, I have a spanish class to attend at 9:30 AM, and I am still up. What gives?

First off, I got out of work at 11 PM. I have to work the late shift two days a week for this bid. Not really a problem, I like the late shift. I am more of a night person than a day person anyway - so getting out at 11 PM is perfect. If I had the late shift before my days off, it would rule. I could get out of work just in time to go do something! When the sun comes up I would be going home. Life would be great. I would be that grumpy guy who yells at kids for "making too much darn noise" at 2 PM on a Saturday.

Actually, it is probably better that I do not have the late shift 5 days a week. I would likely never see much of the sun (meaning I would be even whiter than I am now and I would lobster-fy myself to a severe degree on my cruise), and I would end up arrested for doing something crazy, like attaching a flashlight to a lawn mower with duct tape and then mowing the lawn at 1 AM. When the neighbors bitched I would say to them "Well YOU mow YOUR lawn at 1 PM when I am trying to SLEEP! Payback is a bitch huh?". Then the cops would come and tazer and/or mace me.

By the way - I came up with the idea of attaching a flashlight to a lawn mower for some midnight lawn trimming when I worked for TSA and had the 4 AM shift every day. This was in 2002. I would go to sleep with the senior citizens at 6 PM, but unlike the senior citizens I could not simply remove my hearing aid and sleep. People would often keep me up with their cuban bongo music parties and stuff.

But what I wanted to post about today is a warning. Cats are a pain in the ass! Avoid the temptation to get cats. This is what happens almost nightly.

Before I go to sleep, I usually watch a little TV and sometimes write posts. At this time Fat Fred usually tries to get in my room to hang out. I let him in so I do not have to listen to his pawing at the door. Then Cornelius meows to get in. So I let him to shut him up. The girl cats seldom want in, they like to stay out of my room and just run about the rest of the place, knocking stuff over.

Sometime in the night, Fred and Cornelius decide to play tag (which for them involves running all over the room knocking stuff over, climbing objects, and doing anything else to necessary to wake me up). On days that they do not decide to play tag they find something to hunt - either a hapless gecko or palmetto bug that gets inside. I live in South Florida, small lizards and palmetto bugs indoors is just a reality of living here.

So Lazy, just leave your door open! Yes right. If I do that I end up with ALL FOUR cats in here playing tag, or hunting stuff. The games of cat tag can be everyone for themselves OR "girls VS boys" OR on the rare occasion Fred and Sake or Fred and Gigi VS Cornelius and Sake or Cornelius and Gigi. Another popular game for them is "everyone VS Gigi". Gigi likes to start crap with the other cats then scream loudly when they give her crap back. But either way it keeps me up. So the door has to remain shut.

So why not just keep Fred and Cornelius out? That would work - except that they will sit outside the closed door clawing at the door and/or meowing loudly. All night if they need to.

Just about every night the same ritual plays out. And like an idiot I put up with it. I keep saying to myself "maybe tonight everything will be calm" - but it hardly ever is.

So what did we learn today? Nothing. It is not like I said to myself "hey! I got a great idea! I am going to get four cats!". It just kind of happened.

Broke.

Today, I am broke. I am one broke ass lazy guy. But I got a lot done! Lets review the day!

1. Stay up till 2 AM watching Cartoon Network. This was free, but is important for the set up. Sunday is a good day for Adult Swim.

2. Wake up at 7:30 AM. Take the truck to Toyota for the ball joint recall.

3. Go to spanish class. Free. Buy a horrible Borders Book Store "green tea" - cost $2

4. Go back to the dealer to get my truck. Sit there for almost 2 hours because it took them 4 hours to do a two hour job. Order a transmission cooler - COST $110. I have to fork over another hundred or so later when they install the thing. This will be done later this week.

5. Go to the eye doctor. Walk in being able to see. Leave half blind because of the drops they put in to dilate your pupils. Pay them $150 to screw up my vision.

6. $80 for 6 months of contact lenses.

7. Rescue my mother, who had a flat tire. While half blind and trying to hide my eyes from the bright ass sun (pupils are still dilated like a woman squeezing out a 15 pound mutant baby - not even my Ray-Ban polarized shades were cutting it) attampt to find the proper tools to drop the spare tire from under the Durango. Cuss a lot. Realize that the blacktop pavement is hot as beer tossed into a campfire. Cuss more - this time in a language I just made up. Find the proper tools. Discover that the lug nuts were welded on the studs. Nothing I could do would break the lug nuts loose. Cuss more in english. Loudly. Abandon Ma after calling AAA.

8. Rush to the mice store to buy Max's weekly feast - cost $10.

9. Rush home to feed Max.

10. Go back to the flat tire Durango, which the AAA guy had already found.

11. Discover that the AAA guy could get all the lugs off - EXCEPT ONE. Even with his cool air impact wrench. Some monkey put the lugs on WAY TOO TIGHT! One of the lug nuts is now damaged and has to be removed by a tire shop. The tire was still flat.

12. Hope the AAA guy can plug the rip in the tire - which is almost in the sidewall. The goop patch stuff just barely works to plug the hole.

13. Follow Ma as she returns home. Hope the tire holds pressure long enough. It does. Promise to wake up early tomorrow to drive Ma to her bowling thing.

14. Go to Vision Worls to buy glasses. COST $275. Remember to ask for the anti-reflective coating, then fall for the "scratch warranty" upsale. Pay ANOTHER $120. Total glasses cost - $395. But I got some nice stuff! High index EV 4.0 lenses (thinner than poly-carb lenses) WITH Transitions coating (lenses that get dark in sunlight and go clear indoors), Guess frames WITH some cool magnet stick on polarized things. With the magent polarized stick on things stuck on the glasses look like regular sunglasses.

15. Go to Outback Steak House with Ma because I was hungry. And her car has a flat tire. Cost - $51. I was thirsty or the bill would have been lower. I needed those Sam Adams! In fact, I think I need another one. I will have to raid the fridge when I am done writing this. OR BETTER YET, raid the fridge now. Do not go anywhere! I will be right back! I am still a little thirsty. It was hot as hell today.

OK I am back. Now do I dare do the math? YES! Yes I dare do the math! Here it goes! You can follow along if you like!

Yesterday's total $611 + horrible Borders Books green tea $2 (NEVER order the green tea at Borders - it sucks. Next time I am there I will try the Earl Grey or English Breakfast) + transmission cooler $110 + eye doctor $150 + contact lenses $80 + food for Max the Lizard $10 + cool glasses $395 + dinner $51. That works out to......uhhhh......one plus zero plus 8 plus 6....carry the one.....and we have.....

$1409! Holy crap! That is some kind of new record or something. And the paycheck I juist got - all gone! Finished like the French National Soccer Team! Gone! Done! No more! Cashed out! Spent! And so forth.

Tomorrow I go back to work. The weekend is over. And I am happy. I NEED to get back to work now! I done spent all the work money I just got. I need to make more money. At work. Which I will go to tomorrow. But not until 3 PM. So I can stay up late and sleep in. Except that I have to remember that I have to drive Ma to her bowling thing. But the bowling alley has PINBALL! I think I have some quarters around here somewhere.

Price Gouged

So today I got price gouged. Big time. I feel like I bought a 1984 Yugo at a used car lot for $10,000. Yes, I got screwed that bad. And they did not even bother to use any lube! I know they had lube, because of all the ads everywhere for a "Jiffy Lube".

Anyway, here is the skinny. I need new tires. I have needed new tires for a few thousand miles now. My old tires were not totally bald, but the tread was getting shallow. The wear indicators were clearly visible, and flush with the tire. What little tread there was could be measured in millimeters. So I had to drive extra careful on wet roads. And it rains EVERY FRIGGIN DAY. Remember that cool telescope I posted about buying? Well I used it ONCE. When I have time to set the thing up it is either raining or too cloudy to see anything.

So I go to the Pep Boys place (which SUCKS ASS - NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GO THERE). They had tires for $91, plus another $10 to mount and balance each tire, and they also wanted to sell me an allignment. But they could not put the tires on today because they SUCK ASS and hire employees from the "special" school that uses the short bus to transport students.

I do not need an alignment. First off, my alignment is good now. The truck has an ever-so-slight pull to the right, but not so bad I can not drive with my knees. Also Toyota has recalled the ball joints for my truck, and I am going to have the dealer replace those tomorrow. They will have to do an alignment after that - so why pay some grease monkey to do something that another grease monkey is going to do for free?

Anyway, I went to Sears. They had tires. For $115 each. Plus the mounting and balancing, the disposal fee, the road hazard warranty, and the discount on the tires for getting all that other crap - so for $611 I got 4 new tires. That is like $150 per tire! What the crap is up with that?

Granted, my truck has some fairly hefty tires on it. Dunlop 265/70/R16 tires. And I got tires with a treadwear of 500 (60,000 mile tread warranty), a tempature rating of A (whatever the hell this means) an a traction rating of B (whatever the crap that means).

But still, my asshole is a little sore after this .

And here is the BEST PART. While my truck was on the lift I decided to take a look at a few things. like my shocks. Then I noticed something.

The monkies had put the WRONG tires on my truck. They had put 235/70/R16 tires on. I noticed that the tires looked a bit small. So I had to wait for them to take ALL four tires off, then re mount and balance them.

All in all, I was at Sears for several hours. I was able to walk through the International Mall, grab lunch at the food court, and watch the World Cup game.

Tomorrow I take the truck in for the ball joint recall, and to have a transmission cooler installed. I will have to rent a Yaris while all this crap is done. I am going to ask for the hatchback Yaris.

And I have to go to the eye doctor. The paycheck I just got is all gone! None left for beer or pizza or anything!

But at least I have new tires in time for Sanibel. And by the way - it is raining now. It just started.

This Only Happens "Over There"

As many of my loyal readers know, I have this thing called a "job". Five out of every seven days I go to it. And while I am there, I get to do many exciting things. Like walking around. A LOT.

But that is not all! I also get to compile reports and stuff. Not every week, only on special occasions. Report duty is rotated among the staff. But this week was my week for THE READING FILE!

I like reading file week. What I have to do, as a real part of my job, is keep a finger on the pulse of world news. You know, who won what election. Or what sort of important conference is going on, and where. Stuff like that. My source of choice is the BBC World Service.

And speaking of elections - did you know there was one in Mexico? I learned this while working on the reading file. Some sort of crazy things happened in the Mexican election - the kind of stuff that could NEVER POSSIBLY happen here in the USA.

It seems that there was a problem with the election. There were a bunch of guys running for President, but only two were serious contenders.

On election day, turnout was rather high. Of the two contenders, Felipe Calderon's main supporters are Mexican business owners, and the wealthy. Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador has the support of the poor, and the working class. Mostly. You know how it is, some wealthy people probably voted for Mr. Obrador, and some working class probably voted for Mr. Calderon.

Now here is the part that could never possibly happen here in the USA. The vote results are is dispute. Mr. Calderon is claiming "victory" with less than 1% of the tally in his favor. The other guy is challenging the results and refuses to concede. The "winner" is calling the other guy a "sore looser" and that it is important for everyone to just accept the results and get over it. The other guy is calling for a full manual recount, ballot by ballot.

Wacky huh? Why here in the USA this could never happen. I mean, we INVENTED democracy right? OK the ancient greeks invented it - but the average American does not know this.

The winner, who by the way only got about 36% of the total vote (that part is not really in dispute) is claiming total victory. But then 3.5 million UNCOUNTED ballots were discovered. Now this really screwed things up. But will it? Lets ask Armand Peschard-Sverdrup, an expert for the Center of Strategic and International Studies - a center-right wing think tank in Washington DC. He says "I think that given the margin, it will be very difficult for the vote to be overturned". (Miami Herald).

Strange huh? The right wing think tank guy from Washington DC saying that the less than 1% margin will me very difficult to overturn even with 3.5 million (about ten times the margin by the way) votes uncounted. I suppose that it does not hurt that the "winner" so far is the right wing guy in Mexico.

Anyway, the center-left wing guy will not concede, and probably never will. His supporters have taken to the streets in protest. They tend to believe, for some strange reason, that the results were rigged. Political corruption is not exactly news in Mexico.

And according to the other guy, 36% of the vote is a clear mandate by the people for him to be El Presidente for the next 6 years.

And of course, nothing like this could ever happen in the USA. Right? At least, not again.

15 Questions

So for today's post, I decided to come up with 15 questions to ask during the life boat drill on Carnival Imagination. Enjoy!

1. Can I just sleep in the lifeboat so I do not have to wake up if the boat sinks?

2. Do I get a free cruise AND a refund if the boat sinks?

3. What kind of food can I expect on the life boat?

4. Will I keep my same seating time for dinner on the life boat?

5. Where the hell is the bar on this thing?!!?!

6. You mean to tell me there is not even a mini bar on that dinghy?

7. Would it be OK if I raided the nearest ship bar BEFORE I get on my lifeboat? All that booze is just going to end up on the bottom anyway - your insurance company will cover it.

8. No casino either?? Where did you get these life boats from? Afghanistan? Its like a puritan designed these things!

9. If the ship is called a “fun ship” is it OK if we call the life boats “crappy ass not fun floating things with no beer or video poker”?

10. Is it too late to go home and drive back to the port with my boat, and use that as my personal life boat? At least then I will have satellite radio, marine VHF radio, a GPS chartplotter, and a cooler with ice and this “beer” stuff. And I will be able to do some fishing!

11. Is the bottom of this thing shark proof?

12. Where exactly is the bathroom? I like to eat a lot of beans and greens. I can produce PILES!

13. Can I be the guy who beats on the drum while everyone else has to row? I hate rowing!

14. Hey this looks like a drain plug! Mind if I just remove it and keep it as a souvenir?

15. Where is this “brig” place you are taking me to? Will it have a casino and a bar?

49 Days

In 49 days, the cruise ship I booked leaves port. I have an ocean view (outside) cabin, category 6C. I will be on the so-called "upper deck" which has several decks above it and only two below it. President Bush must have named the decks, I would have called it the "too cheap to book a nicer cabin" deck or something. The deck above me will contain the 6D rooms (which are pretty much the exact thing I will have). One more deck up is the first public deck with the galley, some lounges, and so on.

ALL the inside cabins suck. You get a view of nothing, no windows, and the room is pitch black when the lights are out.

Other than this - I have no idea what exactly to expect. The largest boat I have ever been on is a 72 foot fishing charter "head boat" - unless the fake steamboat at Disney World is longer than 72 feet and counts as a real boat (which it does NOT).

Leaving the Port Of Miami will be sort of neat. I have navigated Government Cut many times in the 18 footer. Leaving the cut in a ship that has a propeller larger than my boat will be something new. I have seen the ships leave port a bunch of times and everyone on board is out on the deck, looking very happy and stuff. The party begins the instant you board the ship and find the nearest bar.

If I go. Things happen. Plans can change. Hurricanes can form. People can flake out. And so on.

Workin'

well I hope everyone had a decent 4th of July. And by "decent" I mean you did not blow your hand or fingers off while trying to look cool by throwing M-80s around after drinking your weight in beer.

I had to work, so I did not even get to have one Samuel Adams Boston Lager. Can you believe that crap? Oh well. At least I got to see every fireworks display in Dade County. From where my office is I can get to a decent vantage point, above the hotel at the airport. Almost to the gate control tower.

Anyhow - if you are not in the USA the 4th is just another day. But regardless, I hope that at the minimum it did not rain / snow on you too hard. That is unless you NEED the rain because of wildfires or something.

And yes, members of the Executive Branch that may or may not be spying on anything they want to without warrants or anything like that. SNOW. You see, if you go south of the equator seasons are reversed. So when it is summer in Ohio it is winter in Argentina. I will pause now while you go get your world map coloring book and try to find Argentina. HINT - it is in South America!

How UN-AMERICAN of me! Here it is, not even one full day after America's Birthday and I am posting stuff like this. Of course, I will post more!

This is from Sky News (Canada) right after Hurricane Katrina hit the US Gulf Coast, flooding New Orleans.

Pretty good huh? Those Canadians!

And this is from the U.K. Daily Mirror, November 2004.

Classic! And the question is still lacking a good answer. But I still like the classics. Stuff like this.

I have to wonder if any of this stuff will ever get old.

Independence Day

Time for a THEME SONG!

Well go on now - CLICK THE THEME SONG LINK!

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION??!!?!??! I said click the link!! I went through all the trouble of downloading today's theme song, and then uploading today's theme song to my blog support website (which I pay for by the way) - the least you can do is download it!!

-- PAUSE --

HA! GOT YOU! Ill bet you never knew the theme song to Monty pythons Flying Circus is AMERICAN! That is right - today's theme song is pure American. 100% Yankee. You downloaded John Phillip Sousa's "Liberty Bell March".

And you can not get more American than that! So there!

Anyhow - today is July 4th. On this day in 1776 the American declaration Of independence was signed.

And what better way to celebrate independence Day than to list the things we are STILL DEPENDENT on!! So I will start the list. You can continue the list in the comments! HOORAY!

1. Foreign oil
2. Cheap foreign labor
3. French wine (it is good stuff!!!!)
4. Spanish Wine (also good stuff!!!)
5. Italian olive oil
6. Canadian maple syrup
7. Techno gadgets from Japan
8. Cheap crap MADE IN CHINA!
9. Illegal Immigrants to mow our lawns.
10. British Beer - OK maybe the USA is not dependent on this stuff but I am!

Seriously United Kingdom - us Americans still love you! At least we love your beer. OK OK! I love your beer. I am glad we can still be good friends even after the whole nasty war thing and all. Just keep the beer flowing. And to be honest, if the Queen was on American currency (as opposed to a bunch of dead white guys) I do not think things would be any worse.

End Of The Line

Wow. My four day weekend is drawing to an end.

If not for the two visits to my second home to pick up my friend returning from Spain, it would be like I do not have a job anymore! It was a nice one of those "vacations" where you do not do anything or go anywhere.

Speaking of which, lets review what I managed to get done over the past 4 days!

1. Feed Max.

That is about it. Short list. Now for the list of things I was going to do, but decided to put it off.

1. Train the motors on my telescope. I upgraded the LX90 with a GPS thing, and also upgraded the Autostar software. Part of the upgrade process is resetting the thing, so I have to re-train it so it can find stuff. It was just too cloudy to do this!

2. Take the truck in for the ball joint recall AND transmission cooler installation. I also need new tires. And I need the TRD supercharger and 7th injector. And so on.

3. Sign up for Netflix. I think I am going to just get Vongo instead.

4. Put the cover back on my kayak, and construct a hoist thing under the eve of the house. You know - to get it out of the way somewhere out of the sun.

And so on. But all I did over 4 whole, massive, whopping days off was feed Max.

How To Book Your Flights

Today my friend was supposed to return from Spain. Because I can park at the airport for free, and I had the day off anyway - I was supposed to provide a ride home. No big deal.

So I get to the terminal, my second home, and go to the exit of Concourse A. Then I decide to use some connections to find out if my friend was booked on the flight.

As it turns out, he was not. American Airlines had the booking, but my friend never checked in for the flight.

Anyway, this set off a whole chain of events. First I had to find out if he made the Iberia flight out of Madrid to Puerto Rico, or if he had to take some other flight or whatever.

Lucky for me, I can find stuff out at the airport. So I found out from Iberia that my friend did leave Madrid, but that the flight was 3 hours late.

His connection layover was 2 hours. So the flight from San Juan to Miami left 30 minutes before he landed in Puerto Rico.

But that was it. That was all I could get. I figured I would wait for the last flight to arrive.

However, I got a call from my friend who was stuck in Puerto Rico. I kind of already figured this out. So I have to go back to the airport tomorrow at 11 AM.

So what did we learn here? A few things.

1. ALWAYS book the direct flight

2. If you can not get a direct flight, you do not really need to go there. Pick another destination.

3. If you MUST connect, remember that a 2 hour layover is not very long for an international to domestic flight. It is better to schedule a 6 hour layover. That way your departure flight can be late and you do not miss the connection.

4. If 6 hours is too long to lay over, remember rule 1 and 2.

5. Seriously. FLY DIRECT!

6. OK FINE! Be that way! Argue with me and insist that you must catch a connecting flight. And complain that 6 hours is too long to sit in a terminal. Find out if the airline you are flying on has a club. Buy a day membership. The airline clubs are nicer than the public terminal.

Best Left Alone

Today, I went to a R.M.S. Titanic exhibit at the Miami Museum Of Science. There was actual stuff from the actual boat on display. There was also some cheesy crap, like an "iceberg" that you could touch. Come on now - icebergs in South Florida? What is next, Tiki Joe's Surf Shop Cambridge Bay, Nunavut (Canada)?

Anyway, I went to see the stuff that was there. There were instruments from the bridge, the ships whistle, and so forth. There was a mock up of a first class stateroom, first class china and other table ware, a fake first class hallway (the halls on the ship were apparently very narrow. I guess that back then there were fewer fat people??) and so forth. They also had a re-creation of a third class (steerage) cabin. What a pile of CRAP the third class cabins were! Third class cabins were the size of a bathroom, with two bunk beds. Passengers were separated by sex, so it was either all dudes or all women in each cabin.

One more thing - TOO MANY people say "H.M.S. Titanic". This is just WRONG. H.M.S. stands for "His Majesty's Ship" - this title was reserved for WARSHIPS ONLY. Just like USS (United States Ship) is only used for American Warships.

The proper name of the ship is R.M.S. Titanic. RMS stands for "Royal Mail Ship" or "Royal Mail Steamer". To have this title, a ship must NOT be a warship and be allowed to carry royal mail! Most large ships registered to England were mail ships. Something had to carry the mail and there were no jet aircraft. And it was a LONG SWIM.

Now I will talk for a little bit about Maritime Law. When a ship sinks, whoever finds it first can claim the salvage rights. This is important, and it applies to any ship - from a 20 foot sailboat to a nuclear submarine.

The man who found Titanic was REALLY looking for the USS Scorpion. Scorpion was a nuclear submarine lost in the North Atlantic. Deep sea expeditions are VERY expensive, but since the primary mission was a classified US Navy thing, funding was not a problem. There was no profit motive at all - as the bill was paid in full by the government.

Anyway, the guy found the Scorpion. The exact location of the sub is still classified, due to the stuff that was on board.

But a cover story was needed. So the guy said "HEY! Why not look for Titanic!" So all the technology used to find the sub was used to find Titanic. A perfect cover story, so the Russians would not think that other top secret goodies were in the general area.

The guy never claimed salvage rights. He wanted the wreck site to be left as it was - and made a silent, dark, memorial to all those lost at sea on the ship the night it sank.

Fast forward a few years. ANOTHER group of people, with private money, go to the site. THEY DO claim salvage rights. And they begin to bring stuff up.

I think that nothing should have been salvaged. I agree with the original finder. There is not a lot of historical significance to the stuff salvaged. I mean, the first class China on Titanic was the exact same stuff used on Olympic or Britannic (the sister ships). The original blueprints for the ship exist. We know how it was built. We know what was on board. There are photographs of the state rooms, the lounges, the grand staircase, and so on.

But - some of the wreck was salvaged. Nothing can be done about that now. The stuff travels around, and people pay to see it. Obviously someone is making money off all this.

I just think that maybe the stuff was better off left alone. 12,500 feet under the North Atlantic, where it came to rest on April 15, 1912.