Powell Sees A What?

In case you are wondering, I stole this post title from Dr. Seuss "Horton Hears A Who". Then I modified it slightly so as to not get sued. So there.

As you may be aware, CNN reported that Colin Powell said (in so many words or less) that Iraq is in a Civil War. The three stooges (Bush, Cheney, and whoever replaces Rumsfeld) will walk over hot coals to AVOID saying that.

But what would Colin Powell know about wars anyway? I mean, he was only a General in the US Army. Hell, a cook is of higher rank! Only 4 stars and he DARES to make such a statement? Who does he think he is to say stuff like that anyway? He must think he is some sort of expert in military stuff or something.

No, I do not believe it. I trust what Bush has to say about the state of affairs in Iraq over some highly decorated former 4 star General who had a long career of military service to the USA. Bush is the REAL expert here! When a lot of other people were going off to Vietnam, Bush could be heard saying THIS - even after he got his soft duty in the Air National Guard in Alabama. Maybe he should have a minstrel follow him around singing a tune similar to THIS?

But whatever. And here is why I think Bush is right about there not being a Civil War in Iraq. First off - there are NO MUSKETS! Everyone who reads US History knows that you can't have a civil war without a musket! Likewise, there are no cannon. And do YOU see any video from Iraq of people wearing blue or gray uniforms? Hell no! There are no horses, no Confederate Flags, no Emancipation Proclamations, no tall presidents wearing top hats, no steam trains, and no steam river boats. Look it all up - it is a FACT none of those things are in Iraq! And ALL of these things were around at the time of the American Civil War. I can fully understand why Bush refuses to use the term "civil war" in reference to Iraq.

So how could a mere retired 4 Star General say what Powell said? Obviously, he does not know what he is talking about. Good thing we have a President now who REALLY understands things!

Changes.

As confidence in my HTML editing skills increases - so does my quest to tweak the template.

So as you may have noticed, I dumped the dots. All the dots. Even the little tiny dots by the comments link. The page should load a little faster now that the background is a simple solid color. But this is NOT the end! Oh no! The ultimate goal is to move this entire mess to my lazyiguana.org site - the possibility of this becoming a reality is under research now. And by "now" I mean "tomorrow". Or maybe "sometime next week". Or to be realistic, "now" means "sometime when I feel like it".

In the short term, look for more background changes. It will never be something complex, simple backgrounds without a bunch of colors are best. Otherwise, it is hard to pick a font color that is readable. So look for a snazzier color, or even a background with a simple texture.

In the not so distant but not so soon time period, I think I want to move the sidebar thing to the right side of the page. And maybe remove some stuff from the sidebars, for faster loading reasons. It all depends on if I like the preview after I edit the template.

The most important thing is to not loose the archives! There is some good stuff in there.

Satanic Symbols On Earth, Goodwill To Men

As we are all aware from the sheer mass of the Sunday newspaper, the holiday season is upon us. This past Sunday the paper came in TWO plastic bags - one for the news and an even larger one for all the sales fliers.

But what is the real meaning of this time of year? Not buying crap - it is supposed to be about more intangible things. Nobody would object to things like this.

Except people HAVE complained about that peace symbol wreath. The person whose house the wreath hangs faces a fine of $25 a day by a Denver homeowners association.

But what is so horrible about the wreath? First, a little background on the situation. In Archuleta County (outside Denver Colorado) the Bush-Cheney ticket carried with something like 65% of the vote, according to THIS SOURCE. The association president Bob Kearns claims that "three or four" people complained (there are 200 homes in the association) and also makes the claim that one person "believes the (peace symbol) is Satanic".

Well - in that case if I lived there I would claim that I believe mowing the lawn is Satanic and demand that all mowing activity cease right away. I mean if one person (who is unnamed and so far has not come forward) can just believe that the peace symbol is satanic and get the homeowners association to fine someone then what about the things I "believe" to be satanic in nature?

I suspect that the "person" who believes the peace symbol is satanic does not exist. The association president made it up to justify the fine he imposed.

It seems that Mr. Kearns, when first alerted to the wreath, asked a committee to take action and fine the homeowner. The committee investigated, and concluded that the wreath was a "seasonal display" and that it held no special meaning. So they decided to do nothing. Imagine that! A group of people deciding that a wreath is a wreath, and just another holiday display put up because it is Christmas time? What the hell were they thinking!??!?!

Mr. Kearns then used his powers as association president to fire all the members of the committee and issued the notice of violation to the homeowner himself. I wonder which President he learned this tactic from? Who do you think he voted for?

So there you go. If you live in a homeowners association outside of Denver forget about any holiday displays! Christmas Trees? PAGAN! Ancient pagans would decorate LIVE evergreen trees at the time of the winter solstice because they thought the trees contained powerful spirits. After all - all the other trees lost their leaves - yet pines remained green!

Wreaths? Also pagan. For the same reasons as the Christmas Tree. Add to that list mistletoe, the yule log, and for that matter the timing of Christmas itself. The Bible does not mention any dates, so why December 25? The Winter Solstice celebration (pagan as can be) had to be replaced by something. Therefore, ALL DECORATIONS are pagan / satanic. And by the way, while we are on the subject - that little plastic baby Jesus used for a Christmas decoration is cute and all, but the real baby Jesus was NOT lily white. He was Middle-Eastern. Maybe not Al Sharpton dark, but certainly not "King of England" white. Just saying. If the real Jesus were lily white, he would have had a grand old time living in the Holy Land without a drop of sunblock 2000 years ago.

Come on now - satanic symbol? Mr. Kearns - you are a moron. You should fine yourself $50 a day for being dumb.

I hope this story turns out to be a hoax - but if it is real for some reason I am not too surprised.

Survival!

Welcome to Survival Monday! The long weekend madness is over. Things will be almost back to normal till about December 8. Then the madness will begin anew. And with a vengeance. The closer it gets to zero hour - the more desperate people will get. It will be safe to drive for another week or two AT THE MOST. After that - who knows. It could get ugly.

So if you need to buy crap, best to get it out of the way now. Sunday I was able to go in a Best Buy, grab the new Family Guy PS2 game, and make a hasty retreat - all in a few minutes. No wait at the checkout counter or anything. No mobs of idiots. Of course, if you want a PS2 or Wii forget it. Ain't none there. But there is a lot of other crap. But the point is that you may want to call in sick Monday or Tuesday. Everyone will be at work, leaving the stores open for you to invade. But woe to he/she who waits!

So there you go. Ye are warned! Or something like that.

Now on to other more important things. It seems that Everglades season is back! Yes, there was a nice cold snap that lasted a few days over the holiday. So the bugs should be a little bit groggy. In theory. Sometime this week I may go ride the loop at Shark Valley.

But not today. Today I got crap to do. Important crap. I have to distribute literature downtown in the morning (by morning I mean noonish) and then be at the dentist office at 3 PM. Something about a cleaning. It will not be too bad.

By the way - before I forget. If you run Windows XP or Vista, there is this cool free download available from Microsoft. It is called "windows defender". It removes pesky spyware and adware. It also provides real time protection against new stuff installing itself. You should get it. It is free. Google "Microsoft download center" or just "microsoft downloads".

Al Snore Movie

So here I am, watching that Al Gore movie on global warming. And here is what comes to mind.

1. Why is the current president unable to articulate ANY point without sounding like he is a total dumbass? Really now. Yes, Al Gore is pretty boring and stiff and wooden. Notice how I called this post "Al SNORE Movie". But at least Gore can string together a few words into a complete sentence without sounding like a total idiot.

2. Regardless of what you think about Gore, you really need to watch "An Inconvenient Truth". Consider the evidence presented in the film. Yes, Gore will take a few stabs at Bush. But now that you know that - you can ignore it. What about the evidence? Can you really ignore that?

3. Face the fact that globalization will FAIL. There are simply not enough resources. Making money is fine - but making money at the expense of conditions the next generation will face is just WRONG.

4. Yes, it will cost money to change the way things work today. Yes, renewable carbon negative methods of energy production will cost more than burning fossil fuels. But here is my question to you. If sea levels rise by 20 feet how much will that cost? What will the cost of every coastal city in the USA going under water be? If weather patterns change and the Bread Basket of America becomes arid - what will that cost? How the hell will you eat? What will a loaf of bread cost if Nebraska is turned into Arizona?

5. Even if global warming and cooling is a cycle, do you really think that what is going on today is helping or hurting that natural cycle?

It is clear to anyone with more than a few brain cells to rub together that there IS a problem. And it seems that we are the root cause. Yes, there are natural cycles and no humans can not stop those cycles. But at the same time we have the technology to truly change things. Consider this - a few men using large machines CAN take a mountain and level it. Could this be done 500 years ago? 100 years ago? 50 years ago?

Yes, there are things like volcanic eruptions. And yes, these events can release vast amounts of crap into the atmosphere. But so can we. Volcanoes are natural events. How natural is burning coal? How natural is an economy based on pumping oil out of the ground?

So rent the DVD. And watch it. Put politics aside, if you can. Just consider the evidence presented in the film. Allow yourself to draw conclusions based on the evidence. And consider the evidence from the other side. Remember that from the 60s to the 90s the other side said "there is no evidence. Environmental liberals are making it all up". But now they are saying "there is no evidence humans have contributed to what is being observed".

Yes - the truth is very inconvenient. But is a truth we have to face. We can not afford to ignore it. Miami will be gone. The Florida Keys will be gone. Mobile Alabama will be gone. Gulfport Mississippi will be gone. Galveston Texas will be gone. Boston will be gone. Pick any port city and it will be gone. Can we really afford that?

War Spy Report

So, the annual holiday shopping war is FULL ON.

What this means is everyone is starting to go just a little bit crazy. It will only get worse. People will be driving around, yelling horrible things at other drivers - on their way to the post office to mail off all those "peace on Earth" cards to friends and family.

TIP TO MIAMI DRIVERS! World peace begins with YOU! So put the gun down and stop pretending you do not see the person with the turn signal on trying to pull out of the parking lot. Think "world peace" and do not block the intersection. Let em out. One more car in front of you will not slow you down at all.

And remember the hundred "Goodwill towards men" cards you mailed off before you get into a fight over the last "TMX Elmo". And what are you thinking getting your kid one of those Elmo things anyway? Don't you know it uses batteries and makes a lot of noise? Do you want to be driven into the depths of insanity by a little red furry laughing bastard thing? Do you? THINK PEOPLE! It will be in your house!

Now if you are going after one of those horrid devices to give to the kid of that douche bag in accounting who stole your idea and got your promotion - BRAVO FOR YOU! Do not forget to also give that kid a whole lot of extra batteries. Revenge via Elmo is a cold dish indeed. That jerkface will never get any sleep! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

But this time of the year is not about being evil. It is about being drunk! Yes, drunk. This is spiced rum season. You never see more than two or three bottles of that nasty crap in the booze depot 11 months out of the year. But come the end of November and there are whole boxes of that swill open and ready to sell. They do not even bother to make up a little display - they know you are going to buy it to spike the egg nog.

But I say if something is crap 11 months out of the year, it is also crap in December. No, I am not a very big spiced rum fan. I would much rather take my egg nog virgin, and just do a few shots on the side.

But I was going to post a spy report about the shopping war! It is totally INSANE! People were lined up outside the Best Buy near my house at 11:30 PM Thanksgiving night. By 3 AM it looked like a football game tailgate party. I have no idea where they found all the cops at - because EVERY big retail store had some there, on top of the normal amount of cops usually on the roads.

And for what? Well there was the $250 laptop - marked down from $750. And the $10 bluetooth headset thingies, normally $50 or $60. But of course there were a limited number of these items, so most idiots camped out all night did not get one.

As for me - I resisted the propaganda. I did not buy anything. I did not run anyone over going after that last parking spot. The only place I went to was ye ole chicken wings and beer hut. I had come chicken wings and a brown ale.

And if you did not get the flu shot, here is a spy report on what to expect. You will get the slow acting funk this year. It starts out with a little tiny bit of a sore throat. Not so bad that you can't eat and feel like rushing out to see the doctor - just enough to be noticed. One of those things where you say "if it gets worse, Ill do something about it" then report to work.

And it does not really get worse. It just kind of lingers. It gets you wrapped around its finger. You wonder "does it really have to linger? Does it have to? Does it have to? Does it really have to linger?" And apparently it does. It lingers like that house guest you invited over for dinner but now it is 2 AM and they still have not taken the hint that it is time to get the F out so you have to bust out with the cattle prod and get midieval on their ass but you go too far and they and up in the hospital and the cops arrest you. Not that this has ever happened to me or anything.

Then a few days later - who really knows the time scale because like I said, the soreness is more on an annoyance than something painful - your head will start to hurt. You will take aspirin, but it will not really help that much. But the head ache will not be that horrible. I mean you will want to wear sunglasses outdoors, and you will not feel like dipping too heavy in the holiday cheer - but you will not want to die.

Now keep in mind this will all happen over a span of at least a week and a half. Maybe even closer to two weeks. It is the SLOW ACTING funk. It is not the ninja funk that hits you hard in the middle of the night - then goes away. Think geologic time scales here. A week is but a mere fraction of a nanosecond. That kind of deal. You will be able to function and all - there will be no need to dip into your sick days - but you will not feel great. You will feel "sub-OK". You know, not exactly horrible but not OK either.

When stage three hits - assuming there is a stage three - Ill post it here.

Black Friday

Welcome to "Black Friday"! You know, the day when you rush out with all the other morons good consumers and buy stuff. Lots of stuff. The more stuff you buy, the better off the retailers are. SO DO NOT BE STINGY! This is not a good time to be cheap! Tens of highly paid CEOs of various big box retailers are counting on you to make their bonus! If you do not spend at least a grand, the terrorists win! And we do not want that to happen now do we? Of course not!

So lets all go out and fight for parking spaces! Some old lady is going to take that spot near the entrance to the mall that YOU were waiting for? Shoot her ass! This is no time for the timid! Only the strong shall survive! Well the strong and those armed with Colt .45 pistols! Or better yet, pack a Thompson sub-machine gun. Get all Al Capone on someone's ass. They probably deserve it for all you know. I even have a pen striped suit! All I need is a cool Al Capone style hat, a cigar, and the Thompson. And a 1920s style Fleetwood or Studebaker. Either one, although the Fleetwood wins for style.

Today starts the most dangerous time of the year! Come on everyone - sing along! You know the tune! With the crazies all shopping and everyones driving like they want to die (and take YOU with them), its the most dangerous time of the year!

Seriously, I do not know about where you live, but here in Miami the crazy time is going to start soon. People in this city are mostly rude and crass to begin with - add in the "holiday hysteria" factor and it is downright dangerous to be in a parking lot! Or on the roads. If it looks like you are walking back to your car, WATCH OUT! Drivers hunting for a spot will see you and race to where you are. Then they stalk you, the bumper of their car inches behind you. And if you are just going back to your car to put stuff away then go back into the stores to buy more stuff? You may get shot. Or at the very least cursed at.

Sometimes drivers get into honking matches over the spot you are walking towards. He with the loudest horn wins. Usually. When I drove an old beat up Dodge Daytona I would win a lot of these matches, because my adversary was driving a much nicer car worth at least $50,000. They could tell by all the dents and missing paint that I had no problems just running into things, so in a game of parking lot chicken who knew what the hell I would do? And would someone driving such a crappy car have insurance? Do you want to find out? Well DO YOU? I thought so! The spot is mine!!!!

But now I have a truck with only a few minor battle scars. The biggest battle scar is from a #@#%$%$# rock that shot out of the side of the lawn mower, crashing into the drivers side door right by the door handle. Did I ever mention I HATE having to mow the stupid lawn!?! Let the grass grow man! Why must suburbanites try to control nature with primitive, dangerous, gas consuming, loud, polluting, and pointless machines? I for one can not wait till grass evolves to be harder than steel. THEN lets see how that lawn mower works! And no way in hell am I going to pay for a titanium blade!

As for me - I shall not buy squat today. Actually, I take that back. I may buy something, but it will be food and/or beer. I could use a nice pint of White Star IPA or Britannic Bitter. Perhaps a Captain Smith's Rye Ale? Or what the hell - a Boiler Room Brown Ale or a Shipbuilders Oatmeal Stout. It is the holidays after all. Might as well start with the whole "cheer" thing.

I am a horrible capitalist. By NOT rushing out to the nearest retail store and buying a bunch of crap, I know I am letting the terrorists win. And I know that I will not be doing my part to help the CEOs make their 4th quarter bonus. So it is up to you to take up my slack. Just think of the poor executive level management! Why, they might have to vacation in Jackson Hole and not Aspen!!! THE HORROR!!!

Buy early and buy often. It is up to you.

Thanksgiving Fun!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! If you are reading this from outside the USA, then allow me to explain. Thanksgiving is a National Holiday upon which we are all supposed to give thanks for the stuff we have. Originally the holiday was created by Puritan Pilgrims from England, to thank the Natives who showed them how to farm stuff and not starve to death. The Puritans were so grateful to the Natives that they were invited to a massive chow down of epic and legendary proportions. Then the next day, the ethnic cleansing resumed. Seriously, the Natives were shafted in a BIG way. But it is OK now because they are allowed to have casinos - as long as the casinos are NOT in Las Vegas or Atlantic City. See how everything worked out?

So for the first item of today, we will play a little game! I call it "spot the turkey". If you think you can see the turkey in the photo below, leave a comment!

HA! Got you! This is a trick photo! There are actually multiple turkeys here! See how much fun this Thanksgiving Fun post is turning out to be?

Now there is another think I thought of just today. It has to do with the racist tirade from that guy who played "Kramer" on that TV show. Al Sharpton was on some cable news channel, giving his feelings about the whole thing. And they did one of those "in depth" reports that usually turn out to be useless - only there to fill air time. Anyhow they showed Bush talking to the NAACP about race relations. When Bush said "I know that African-Americans distrust my party" the crowd erupted in cheers and applause. Bush just kind of stood there with his usual facial expression. You know, the "uhhh...what do I say now?" one.

Then it hit me! WELL DUH! ALL the turkeys Bush pardoned were what color? WHITE! Come to think of it, all the turkeys pardoned (that I can remember) have been white. Now why is this? How about throwing in a token pardon for this guy?

But no. At least not this year. But if you ask me, the bird above looks more like what a turkey is supposed to look like than the pale, overgrown chicken looking thing in the first photo. HA! Got you again! When I said "pale, overgrown chicken looking thing" which thing was I talking about? Who knows. It shall remain a mystery.

And for the final touch for today's fun post, another photo of a pardoned turkey. This photo was taken AFTER the press had gone home for the day, but one of my vast network of spies was still there. With a special camera that captures word bubbles. Remember how Rumsfeld was fired? Well say hello to the NEXT Secretary Of Defense!

This is just too easy. The fun could continue for days!

To all my USA readers - Happy Thanksgiving! For those outside the USA - Happy November 23! Or maybe November 24, depending on which side of the International Date Line you are on.
The important thing is not what day it is, just that YOU have a great day. And don't forget to rush out to the malls tomorrow and buy stuff! It is your consumer duty!

New Dollar Coin

It seems those wild and crazy guys at the U.S. Mint are at it again! They have plans for a new $1 coin.

Stealing their own idea from the 50 state quarter program, the new $1 coins will feature all the US Presidents. Even the ones nobody remembers - like James Garfield, Martin Van Buren, Millard Fillmore, and even Zachary Taylor. Then there are the presidents we would rather forget, like Nixon and Mr. "Aids is gay cancer" himself - the hero of the neo-conservative movement - the one and only Ronald Wilson Reagan. Every year there will be 4 president coins released. The coins will be released in order of who was in office, starting with George Washington. The exception will be when we get to presidents still alive when their number comes up so to speak. There is a law that says no living president can be on a coin, so at some point the coins will stop. The mint has no plans to skip the living presidents to issue coins for dead presidents that held office after them.

Of course, there have been attempts at the $1 coin before. There is the Susan B. Anthony coin from the 70s. But the SBA coin flopped, unless you ride mass transit a lot. The SBA coin is almost exclusively used as a subway token. But why was this? Well the people at the mint forgot to make the SBA coin NOT look like a quarter. It is almost the same size as a quarter. It is the same color as a quarter. People got them mixed up with quarters as a result. Except for the blind. Blind people almost never get the SBA coin confused for a quarter because they learn to identify coins by feel - not sight. The SBA coin has a hexagonal border on it - the quarter does not.

OH YEA! I forgot to insert the famous Eisenhower "silver dollar". Well that does not count. Why? Because I say so. I do not think that coin was ever intended for mass circulation.

So then there was the famous "golden dollar". It was way larger than a quarter, and a totally different color. But not enough of them were made. Clinton had a hand in this. I have my theories as to why, and they revolve around titty bars. Say you like to frequent such places. You know you have to tip the girls. So you have your stack of $1 bills. If a coin replaces the bill - what do you use as a tip? A coin? Where are you going to put that? Not the "coin slot" I hope. So you would have to use $2 bills or even $5 bills. That would get expensive 2 - 5 times faster.

So the mint did not make enough of the coins. Collectors snatched them up by the roll, and prevented them from making circulation. And then there were the people that would flat out refuse to accept them as change. They would get all hostile and think you were trying to rip them off somehow. So between the titty bar problem, the collectors, and the hostility of the public - the coin never took off.

But the mint hopes to correct all these problems, except for the booby bar issue - which I seem to be the only one who dares to acknowledge - with this new $1 coin. First off, a whole lot will be produced. This means that at least as many $1 bills will be collected by the FED and destroyed. So with fewer bills people will have to use the new coins. Also, the golden color scheme will remain - so there will be no confusing them with quarters. The mint is banking that the "limited edition" scam will cause people to want to collect the coins, driving up demand. And once you collect a few Millard Fillmores, you will start to spend the rest you get. This will place them in circulation, and the more in circulation the faster the public will accept them.

Now there are great reasons to dump the bill. First off, there is that creepy Masonic pyramid eyeball thing on the back. And there is the phrase "New World Order" or "A new order of the ages" written in Latin around the creepy pyramid thing (novus ordo seclorum). Creepy stuff man! What "new order" is that talking about? Maybe that 80s synth-pop band? Probably not.

Then there is the problem that dollar bills wear out fast. Check your wallet for singles. Chances are, they are all series 2002 or higher. Paper money wears out fast. The average life span for a dollar bill is about 18 months. Tens hold up for about the same amount of time. Five dollar bills hold up for about 15 months, twenties for about 2 years, and fifties and hundreds even longer.

Coins last at least 25 years. Or longer. Check your quarters on the nightstand. You will find coins much older than your paper money.

The mint prints tens of millions of notes per day. A good many of these are singles. The vast majority of this printing is done to replace worn out notes. So by replacing the most common note that has a short average life with a long life coin, we will save a lot of trees. Well not really. US Currency is printed on what is more like linen than paper. So we will save a lot of cotton. Or whatever. You get the idea.

With less paper needed daily by the mint, they will also need less ink. So the government will actually save a large amount of money - which can then be squandered somewhere else. I vote that it should go to me so I can promote the new coins!

I do not think the public will accept the new coins. People like that paper money. Also most other nations have done away with single unit paper currency. Is there a 1 euro bill? Hell no, its a coin. How about the UK pound note? Nope! Coin as well. So because Europe is doing it, automatically many Americans will be against it.

But really - it is time to dump the bills. So if you work for the mint and you are reading this, here is my tip to you.

Give a rap star some 24 inch rims made from the new golden dollar coins. It will INSTANTLY ramp up demand for the coins so high that there will be a metal shortage.

Talk Of A Draft

It seems one of the Democrats uttered the "D" word. Draft.

And why not. Someone has to utter the word. At one point, nobody thought that Vietnam would require a draft. Washington just stomped in, figuring that the USA could do what France could not. Vietnam was a French territory at the time. You know, can't let those commies get more land! And the French suck! We can do what they can't!

Except for the little problem of loosing the Vietnam War. The commies took over anyway. And now it is the fastest growing economy in Asia. If not a single American died in that jungle, everything would be the same today. And maybe we can't do whatever the French also can't do.

More to the point a BIG selling feature to the public, other than the lie about weapons of mass destruction, an active nuclear program, and Iraq being 45 minutes from launching an attack against the USA, was that the all volunteer military could do the job. No way there would ever be a draft! All that talk was just anti-war pro-terrorists trying to scare people! Now lets get back to those nukes that Iraq is fitting onto ICBMs right at this instant!

So it was easier to sell to the public. We the public were going to be safe from phantom weapons, and someone else's kid was going to fight. Win win situation!

But would the public have supported the war if there was a draft bill attached to it? Would there have been REAL debate about the merits of going to war? Would the public have demanded more information from the White House? And now that the reasons have changed from "we are all going to die" to "spreading democracy" to "OK maybe no democracy, but.....OK OK so it is possible it will be an Islamic Theocracy" - it is possible that the public would want to know what the hell is up with that? And by "the public" I mean 90% or more of the population. Not some wimpy 40%.

People seem to not give a crap about anything, unless it directly involves them. Case and point - stem cell research. A lot of people are opposed to it. But what would the people opposed to the research say if someone they loved was stricken with a disease or injury that could be cured or repaired using methods obtained from stem cell research? Would they choose to let their child, wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother , or them self die? Would they choose a life in a wheelchair with no use of any limbs for that person? Or would they gladly accept the stem cell research derived cure?

My money is that they would accept the cure. Then once everything was OK again, go right back to advocating for a ban on any more research. That seems to be the new American Way.

If the Democrats want to end the occupation right now - it would be easy to do so. Make the war supporters put their money where their mouth is. Propose to either bring the troops home, OR have a tax hike to pay for 100% of the costs. No more running up debt. Pay for it all right now in cash. Lets start with a special "war tax" of 10% on the richest 2% of Americans. If that does not cover it, bump it up a few notches. After all, it IS important right? Our national interest and security is at stake right? Halliburton and the other companies profiting from this mess deserve all that money they are getting right? So why not pay for it now?

And had there been a war tax proposed when this whole mess was to start, would the Republican run Congress been so quick to rush into the war? If it was going to cost them and the people that they represent (the upper 2% - 5% income bracket) real money? Would the middle class who by a HUGE margin supported the war but are now starting to have second thoughts supported the war if it was going to cost them an extra 5% or more (just to pull a number out of the air) on top of the taxes they already pay?

But now it is too late. Even Henry Kissinger said recently that a "military victory" as defined by Bush is not possible. But does that mean we can just leave? Well not exactly. Leaving now would just make things worse. But staying and sticking with the current policy is not going to work either. So what do we do?

I do not know. I am not an expert on such things. Really, there is no good solution. Staying will just cause more people to die, and leaving will allow a full on civil war to happen, along with a radical government taking power (think Iran in the 80s here). Either way, the people of Iraq are bound to just love the USA. What did we do to them anyway? They would have no reason to hate America just because we created the conditions that they live under today. Bush said that everything is OK over there! So it must be true.

All I know is that when going into Iraq was just a policy that the President was pushing hard for I thought it was going to be a mistake. I did not see why the French or Canadian proposal was such a bad idea. All these two nations said was "lets wait a bit on this war thing, as our evidence is not the same as yours. We will put Iraq on an even tighter leash and send in more inspectors. If there is ANY evidence of a WMD program uncovered, then we can act". But no. This was no good. Probably because Bush knew that nothing would be found because nothing was there. And that would have ruined his grand plan.

So yea, why not use the "D" word. Next war, the "D" word might make the public demand that Congress do its job and have real debates. Make the war hawks prove beyond any doubt that there is a real threat. And not like they "proved" it last time. When you know that a vote for war means your 18 - 25 year old son could very well be called up if things do not go exactly as planned, you might pay a little more attention to the matter. And no loopholes for the "D" word! No sneaking out of the deal by joining the Guard. Only active duty people would have the option of going into the Guard - AFTER combat. College deferment? Sorry, we are all out of those. If your number gets pulled you go. Money, connections, acceptance to Harvard - sorry but National Security is more important. Lets see who wants to rush into a war then.

And next war also needs to have a war tax provision to cover ALL costs involved. Modify the tax rates by adjusting up or down monthly if needed. Leave NO COST to add to debt. Pay for the whole thing in cash. That might make people pay more attention as well. And no loopholes either! Everyone pays something. The more you make, the higher your tax percentage is - IN ADDITION to whatever normal taxes you pay. Corporations too. Everyone and everything shall be taxed. Leave no tax source untaxed! Freedom is not free right?

Then lets see who wants to just rush off into a war all willy-nilly.

Two Weeks

Two weeks ago today Cornelius vanished. He must have run out of a door sometime during the day. He would do this from time to time, but he never left the backyard. He would not stay out for very long either. He did not like being outside that much. All the strange noises would spook him. The only thing I can think of is he got loose, got spooked, got into another yard, and could not find his way back. Someone may have managed to get him to get in their house and just kept him - but I don't know. People he did not know would also spook him. One of yards that borders the backyard has a mean ass dog. If he got in that yard, he would not have lasted too long. But if he was captured by people, they would have known he was not a stray. He was fixed, he was well fed, he had no fleas or ear mites, and his claws were trimmed.
One would think that they would have just let him go to return home. Unless he was injured and they took him to the vet then decided to keep him.

So I put up a bunch of signs with a recent photo of Cornelius.

Nobody called. The signs have been up for a while now. I just put up a fresh batch Thursday. Everyone on the block has to have seen the signs.

Well almost nobody called. Last Tuesday or Wednesday I got a call at 10:30 PM from some people that live three houses down the block. They said there was a cat in their backyard that looked like the cat on the posters. The Cornelius sign contained a description of the cat. Male neutered cat, 11 pounds.

So I gather up a flashlight and head out. I found Max. Max is a very nice gray and white blotchy cat that lives down the street. But no Cornelius. Max looks nothing like the photo. But the people said that was not the cat they saw. So the guy went off to search the front yard, where he found the cat that "matched the description of the lost cat sign". And what did I find? Cornelius? Not exactly.

This pathetic little cat not only does NOT look like Cornelius (Cornelius had shorter hair and was more gray than brown), it is a female and a kitten. The sign said "11 pounds". This little kitten is nowhere near 11 pounds.

But she was skinny and pathetic. And friendly. Not afraid of people at all. It seems that someone on the other side of the block moved out and abandoned at least 4 kittens. And maybe the mother cat too. Who knows.

It was obvious that nobody was taking care of this cat, it was skin and bones. No fleas or ear mites (amazingly enough) but it has the squirts - which means some sort of intestinal parasite. More than likely those of the protozoa variety. And I suspect that there are other worms up there as well.

Anyway, I fed the thing. I had to go off and find kitten chow and cat litter at 11:30 PM. The sick cat would just infect the other three not sick cats - then I would have four cats all with the squirts. It would be like a soft serve ice cream factory in here, only WAY stinkier. And warmer. And not much like an ice cream factory at all.

The little cat does not seem to want to run off. She is here now, sleeping while I type this. After a few days with unlimited kitten chow, she seems to have more energy.

I guess Ill take her to the vet today, to get the squirts problem fixed.

But - I have no idea what happened to Cornelius. It is possible he will turn up, but that is not very likely at this point. I do not think Ill ever find out what happened to him. Two weeks is a long time for a cat that hardly ever goes outside and never leaves the back yard to be missing.

Biggest Asshole on CNN

Seeing as how it is Sunday and all, I do not want to post anything too heavy.

Yesterday, Actionbell commented that Nancy Grace is the worst person on CNN. I disagree.

I think the WORST person on CNN is Rick Sanchez. Hands down. There is no competition. To find anyone in Rick's class you have to change channels to Fox.

Sanchez is from Miami. He got his first on air job in this market. And what do we remember him best for?

1. Crime check with Rick Sanchez. He would ride around in the worst areas of Miami in a Channel 7 van and listen to a police scanner for the latest crime. Then he would go and report it. Often there was still blood on the ground. Of course being a fresh crime scene, the cops never had anything to report. The van was full of hundreds of thousands of dollars of stuff, and enough hair gel for the entire band "A Flock Of Seagulls". Too bad he was never robbed. It would have been fun to see Channel 4 or 10 report from that crime scene.

2. Iraq War Part I. He had this thing called "War Map with Rick Sanchez". It was a giant 3-d map of Iraq and Rick would squat over it and release his own gas attack. It was horrible. He would move little plastic tanks, planes, and army dudes around like he was some kind of General or something. Too bad he never stepped on a plastic land mine.

3. Hurricane Andrew. Reporting the instant the winds died down from his trusty Channel 7 van he is best known for lamenting "where is the National Guard!??!". Now keep in mind the guard was on its way, from bases out of the storm area. And when the Guard did get here, he reported that the Guard were not carrying live ammo - setting up the stage for armed gangs to confront the Guard. Once you know the machine guns are not loaded they are not so scary to looters. Needless to say, after this report some Guard troops WERE issued live ammo, and they went looking for Rick. But Rick had already fled to Broward County where the electricity was working.
4. Running over someone and getting away with it. Rick was reporting from the then Joe Robbie Stadium for a Dolphins game. A stench of cow manure hovered over the performance of the Dolphins, so Rick attempted to rid himself of the stink by getting drunk. On the way home he ran over someone. He fled the scene, which was supposedly very close to his home. The guy he his was also supposed to be drunk. Anyway, the story goes that he left the scene on foot. When the cops got to him he had poured booze all over himself and claimed to be drinking to "calm his nerves" or something. Anyway, he was never jailed. It seems he had money and connections and the dead guy did not.

5. The awful "Rick Sanchez Show" that aired on the independent Channel 6 for a few months after he got fired from MSNBC and crawled back to Miami. His old news channel did not want to hire him back. His show tried to be like the equally horrible classic "Geraldo Rivera Show" from years ago. You may remember "The Secret Of Al Capone's Safe" debacle. Anyway, the Rick Sanchez Show was worse. And yes, it is possible to be worse than Geraldo. Just ask Rick - he will tell you how its done.

There are many more reasons why Rick is the biggest asshole on CNN, but if I keep going this post will crash blogger due to its length. The post would get so long that it may end up crashing the entire internet. All the memory from all the servers on the web would be sucked up, and all the bandwidth would be needed just for one person to download the whole thing.

So you will just have to take my word for it. He is the biggest asshole. Miami wants him back about as much as Europe wants The Black Plague back.

What The Hell Is Wrong With People?

Really. What the hell is wrong with people? Is there some kind of chemical that makes you stupid in the drinking water? My "stupid chemical in drinking water" would explain some world leaders still in office, but can it explain today's items?

Item 1: Thousands of idiots standing in line to get a new PS3 console. Police have had to respond to all manner of big box retail stores to control crowds. People have been trampled and seriously injured as crowds mobbed stores. And for what? A game system?

If you KNOW that a store only has 30 consoles in stock, and you see there are already over a hundred idiots camped out waiting for the store to open - guess what Einstein? They are not standing in line to buy a package of blank CDs or one of those mini USB drives. They are probably there for one of the 30 PS3 units. And with a hundred people already there - fewer than 1/3 are going to get one. You might as well just go home.

But no. What do idiots do? They join the crowd. And by joining the crowd, they REDUCE the chance that they will get a game console. Explain this level of stupidity! I can't.

EDITORS NOTE - yea I want a PS3. It is not only a game system, it is also a blu-ray DVD player. But I do not have a 1080p TV, so I do not really need a high def DVD player. Even if I had one, I would only be able to watch movies in regular resolution anyway. And the games? It is not like there is a shortage of PS2 games.

Item 2: The rich crazy people getting married. Who cares? Why is this story even on the national news radar? Is there nothing else going on in the world more important than Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes having a crazy cult wedding? Do people really give a crap? We all know that unless Katie is also insane she will dump Tom's nutty cultist ass in a year or less. And aren't you supposed to get married BEFORE the baby is born?

Not that this latest round of mass stupidity has not had its entertaining moments. CNN had a Scientology cult leader in the studio for a short piece. The cult leader (he calls himself Reverend something or other and claims to be the pastor of some sort of church) claimed that of all the "religions" he can think of, Scientology is the "most open". Oh really? Is that so? Well then how about you let me read the OT3 materials? Can I just walk into the cult center nearest to where I live and simply ask for any cult materials and they will give them to me? Without asking for lots of money and years of bullshit?

But the goon on TV let the cult leader get away with it. I would have said something like "you claim that Scientology is open. Well I can get a Bible for free. All I have to do is go to the nearest church and ask for one. If that fails, the Gideons will gladly give me one. Or the next time I stay in a hotel I can just take the bible left in the room. It says you can take it if you want. So can I get Scientology text for free? Huh? Can I? Can you provide the material distributed on your cult cruise ship?"

I so need my own TV show. But the problem is that after two or three shows it would be hard to find guests to appear.

Item 3: I am watching "How It's Made" on The Science Channel. One of the things they featured being made were mannequins. The mannequins being made were named "Mr. X" and "Lady Swing". The molds were first made in the 1970s, and are often used to display athletic stuff.

Now we all know mannequins are not anatomically correct. Yea they have bumps and bulges here and there, but you would never see one in a medical classroom. They only have bumps and bulges because people have these same bumps and bulges to some degree. And for clothing to fit on the mannequin properly, they have to be able to fit into said clothes.

But on The Science Channel, they blurred out Lady Swing's boobs. WHY? They are not even real boobs! They were made out of foam. There was no detail to the boobs, for detail would cost more money, and the extra money would mean less sales because a department store is NOT going to pay for that detail. They would buy from some other supplier.

Are we THAT repressed that we can not have mannequin boobs on a cable TV channel? We have to blur them out? Are fake foam no detail except for a tiny plastic nub that is supposed to be a nipple boobs that offensive? This is even worse when the former Attorney General John ASScroft had the statue of Lady Justice covered up because of the bare statue breasts.

Item 4: Do we REALLY need a car that can parallel park itself? Are you that bad of a driver that you can not friggin PARK YOUR OWN CAR? If you need a car that parallel parks itself, you should probably not even be driving - as driving is not a skill you have mastered. And why even advertise the self parking Lexus? It is going to sell for the $70,000 range. The fact there is a mass market for such cars in a nation where most people do not make more than $50,000 a year PROVES we are all insane. Why the hell would you pay more than you make in a year of hard work for a stupid car? If you pay more than you make in a year for a car - you should consider chemical castration so you do not pollute the gene pool any more than it already is.

I have said for years that the gene pool is in serious need of a massive shock treatment using concentrated chlorine.

So what is it that makes people so stupid in the USA? I already proposed my "chemicals in the drinking water" theory. This theory could be expanded to "chemicals in the air", "chemicals in the food" and so on.

But really - it has to be something? Can it be that America is a LOT more stuffy and repressed than anyone wants to admit? Or is someone putting stupid chemicals in the Coca-Cola?

I think that Congress needs to hold hearings right away.

Can You Read Me Now?

VERY IMPORTANT! I got a spy report that some people can not read my posts. OK OK fine - one person can't. That I know of anyway. So if you can read this, leave a comment so that I know the blog is working.

There is other news, but I am too lazy to post it here at this time. This post will be short.

Help Plan My Excursion!

This may come as a major shock to those who are frequent readers to this blog - but the truth must be told!

I am fairly lazy.

Now this presents a problem. You see, it seems that I am expected to be "in charge" of all forms of trip planning. From how to get there, where to stay, what to do, and where to eat - I am supposed to do it all. She just wants to "relax". Whatever that means.

And what happens should I pick the wrong things to do? Somehow, it will be my fault. See how this works?

But this trip planning is easy. For starters, there is only one full day to plan. And that day will be mostly spent drinking. All I have to do is pick some Key West bars. Now seeing as how you can not walk a block on Duval Street without passing at least 5 bars, this will be easy. Anyway, here is the plan so far.

1. Friday. Arrive somehow. Either by land or by air. I kind of want to do the air thing, but right now that is under research. I have to do my cost-benefit analysis. And when I say "by air" I am NOT talking about American Eagle, TSA, and dealing with a massive airport!

I have a friend who has a single engine pilots license.

2. Find some cool places to hang out ay upon arrival. I am thinking THE LAZY GECKO!!! This Iguana has turned into a Gecko, what with the staying up late every night and such. I plan to see just how lazy a night lizard can get!

3. Find other bars. There is Hogs Breath Saloon, Green Parrot, Sloppy Joe's, Two Friends Bar (with much live karaoke), Schooner Wharf Bar, The Afterdeck At Louie's Backyard, and about a hundred other places.

4. MALLORY SQUARE! This is a must see for Key West. So what is it? A seawall. And what is so special about this seawall? Looking out from the seawall, you are facing west. And what does this have to do with the price of tea in China? West is there the sun sets. Every day, there is a mini circus at the square. There are all sorts of street performers doing all sorts of things. You go to watch the sun set, then enjoy the free show. If you like the act, you tip a few bucks. Ill do this Friday and Saturday.

5. Hemmingway House. I kind of want to check it out. There are six toed cats there, descends of Ernest Hemmingway's own pets. They need to inject some fresh DNA in there if you ask me.

6. Lighthouse Museum. It may be cool. There will be all sorts of nautical historic stuff. But my friend is not really into boats that much.

7. Treasure Museum. Real treasure from the glory days of the Spanish Main - all found on the wreck of the Spanish Galleon "Atocha".

Now not all of this stuff will be done. I do not want to run myself ragged trying to do too many things in the short time I will be there. For the most part, the time will be spent walking Old Town Key West in search of the next place to get a drink, or a cool looking shop to check out.

And if I plan the wrong thing, it will somehow be my fault.

Disposable Income

You may remember that before the election, Republicans and pundits on Fox News were warning everyone that the Democrats will raise taxes. And make the nation less safe.

And after people did not listen and the Democrats won, Fox News managed to get Jessie Jackson for an interview. As if he was even running for office, or will have any say in the new congress.

The goon on TV asked Jessie Jackson "would you favor raising taxes on the rich". The reply was something along the lines of it being better to raise taxes on those most able to pay them than on the working class and the poor. The trap was set. The next question was "well what do you consider rich?"

What Jessie Jackson should have said at that point was "me and you. Both of us. We are rich". That would have shut the asshole up. But no, Jackson tried to brush off the question with the whole "that is not up to me" line.

Here is what I would have said! I think it is amusing that the Republicans keep saying they are lowering taxes. I have not seen ANY evidence of this. My taxes have gone down by maybe a buck or two. But if I made several million a year, then my cuts would be worth counting. And how does this help? The lower on the income scale you are, the larger portion of your income you spend. And not on luxury goods either. I am talking bread and milk here.

But the trickle down theory! What about that? Ill tell you what - it is bullshit. Here is why. Say you cut taxes only for those at the top. The money they keep will not be spent on needs, it will be spent on luxury goods OR invested. But investment is good! BZZZZZZ! Not always! Investors place their money where it gains the most return. And guess where that is? If you guessed CHINA you get a cookie! So what the trickle down theory does is send vast amounts of investment overseas. Along with jobs. Think I am full of it? Find something in your home NOT made in China. GO! The clock is ticking! I rest my case.

And the estate tax. The wealthy want to dump that too. They have convinced a lot of people that it is "double taxation". Oh really! I do not think so. First off, the first million bucks is not taxed. This covers the vast majority of Americans. Most people will never pay any federal estate tax. You only pay if you get more than a million bucks. So it is a reverse scale! The person that is left $100,000 pays nothing, but the person who gets $100,000,000 pays a whole lot.

Unfair? I do not think so. First of all, the person paying the estate tax DID NOT WORK FOR THE MONEY! It was left to them by someone who croaks. The person who croaked may have worked for it (or may have inherited it from someone else), but you did not. So it is NOT double taxation. What did you do for that money, other than wait for someone to die?

If the estate tax is dumped, than so should any taxes paid for winning a lottery, or slot machine mega jackpot. After all, how is being born rich any different than winning the lottery? And it takes more work to go to the store and buy a lottery ticket than it does to wait for some rich relative to die.

Just the fact that the Republicans tried several times to get rid of the estate tax tells you where their loyality lies. Not with working class people - but with the ultra rich and powerful. They are the party for the 0.5%.

Another reason why the rich should pay a higher percentage of their income than working class people is because they have more to loose. Roads are worth more to the rich, because those roads move the goods and services they need to make more wealth. The police are worth more, because should the police vanish guess where the rioters are going to head to? My TV cost $88 at Target. So if you have a $5,000 super TV you need the police more than I do. You have more to loose. My truck cost around $22k. So if you drive a $70k Lexus you have more to loose. I can drive on crappy roads - I have a truck. Potholes? Just a little annoying. But lets see your Ferrari take on those potholes! So if you can afford a $250k car - then you should be WILLING to pay more for good roads than I am. You need them more.

And lastly, there is the war. For the most part people that identify themselves as "conservitive" supported the Bush case for war. The talking heads on Fox News still think the war in Iraq is a great idea. And they think cutting taxes is a great idea.

But there is a problem. The war is costing several BILLION dollars a month. Which leads me to wonder - if the democrats had more power in 2002 and had introduced a bill that raised taxes to pay for the war, would the Republicans been so fast to vote for war?

After all, if you support the war you ought to be willing to pay for it. So how about it Bush! War tax!!! YEA!

The USA would not be so quick to go to war if there was a law that required an instant tax hike to pay for any conflict. The war hawks would become doves in a hurry if it were costing them money. But as it is now, they are making money off the war.

No Upgrade For Me!

It seems this blog can not be switched to Beta. I am guessing this is because I have more than "a couple thousand posts and/or comments". None of the other reasons fit. And what are those other reasons? "Team blogs" and those who did the "Blogger Plus" premium service thing - which was done away with years ago. So only one reason fits.

But whatever. There are far more important things going on than blogger beta.

Like the beer situation. Three weeks ago I went out in the boat. I took the standard provision of 12 bottles of Samuel Adams on board. I never unloaded them. This past weekend I went out on the boat again, to provide support for a kayak race thing. Upon return to port, I took inventory. I am down to TWO BEERS. So I need to get more. And one of these days, I have to unload the remaining beers from the boat!

And then there is the rum situation. I am pretty much out of that stuff too. And with the holidays approaching, I should probably get more "holiday cheer". One of these days. No hurry.

Oh Come On! I Have To Think Up Another Post Title?

Got a few things to cover here! But first I want to make an announcement.

I will resist the urge to make jokes about the "Curious George" movie that is going to hit the big screen soon. We already know the sitting President kind of looks like Curious George. And they both have the same first name. At one point in his life, Dick Cheney probably wore a yellow hat. And so on.

But no jokes! Someone else probably already made them. Plus, it would be far too easy. Making Curious George jokes would be like....uhhh....canned hunting. But who would take part in a canned hunt anyway? Sounds boring.

Now on to Fred. Fred is my fat orange cat. He likes to bite the crap out of you. And by you, I mean me. Right now he is here with me, hanging out and being all nice and purry. But should I do the slightest thing to pester the fat ass, he will bite. He will not stop purring, he just puts his ears back and bites. While purring. Like he enjoys it. I would just kick his out, but I am afraid that if I try to move him he will get even. With his teeth.

What else is there?

OH YEA! That's right! I may be going to Key West right after Thanksgiving. For the weekend. I could drive there, but what fun is that? It would take like three hours! Or something like that. The plan is to go with a friend who lives in Central Florida. She is going to visit her brother, and then arrive here Friday. We could take her car (it gets better fuel economy and has leather seats and stuff). But again, three hours. And not really cool.

So what I need to do is come up with an alternative mode of transportation. I am working an angle here. More on this later.

And that is not all! I have a whole slew of things to do Monday. And by "whole slew" of things to do, I mean like two or three max.

What To Do?

According to my sources it is Saturday. I believe them. My vast network of spies and informants do not always provide good information, but they do an excellent job with the "what day is it?" report.

And now to pick something to do for the day. For more information about that, I will reveal one of my spy sources! NOAA! Here is what they have to say about Saturday.

"EAST WINDS AROUND 5 KNOTS BECOMING NORTHWEST IN THE
AFTERNOON. BAY WATERS SMOOTH."

Well that about does it! It is obvious to anyone that there is only one thing I can to. Hook up the boat to the truck and head to the ramp!

So it shall be! The boat is attached to the truck, everything is tied down, I ran the engine Friday afternoon, I still have beer that I never unloaded from the last trip out, and I still have cans of carbonated water I never unloaded from the last trip out. So I got more ice in the freezer and lunch in the fridge.

But there is another reason to get the boat wet. Something about a kayak race to benefit the South Florida Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. I am going to be one of the support boats for the event. My primary duty is communications and logistics, but should there be a need for direct kayak support then that falls on me as well.

Too Much Bullshit

A lot of people say money makes the world go around. Some people say love makes the world go around.

However, all those people are wrong. Bullshit seems to make the world go around.

And this is a good thing! There is far more bullshit in this world than anything else. I do not know if there is enough money to keep the planet spinning, but with bullshit as fuel the planet will spin for many billions of years to come. Even if the human race wipes itself out, we will leave more than enough fuel behind for whatever other animal takes over.

Not only am I surrounded in the stuff, but it is piled far above my head. As a result, it is very difficult to figure out what is going on. I can not see through the stuff, and my ship's radar can not penetrate it. In effect, I am adrift in the fog - without a clear idea of where I am. All I can do is sound the fog horn and hope I do not run into the reef. Or a larger ship.

My Happy Dance Video!

Sar of Belle Of The Brawl fame, has challenged everyone to post their happy dance video. So here is my happy dance video! I hope you like it.

Now for some background information on my happy dance video. Ren is wearing a helmet thing. Stimpy placed the helmet on Ren in order to make Ren happy. You see, Ren is always in a grumpy mood.

Add Rummy To The Requiem Mass.

This just in. Rumsfeld is OUT. Gone. No mas. Outta here. Fired. Downsized. Given the boot. Let go. Sacrificed. Driven away by angry villagers wielding pitchforks, axe handles, and torches.
Remember about that door Donald! Do not let it hit you on the ass!

And the Democrats took the Senate seat in Montana. The balance of power is now 50 (D) 49 (R). Once the process of counting is done in Virginia, those numbers will be 51 (D) 49 (R). Both houses have been returned to America.

And notice how the Democrat winner in Virginia is not talking about a sore looser? Notice how he is supporting the re-counts? Notice how he is not all "we must certify the vote NOW!!!"? Notice how he is saying that we MUST wait for the entire process to be validated before a winner can be declared?

Talk about a contrast!

Requiem For Kathrene Harris And The GOP

So what the hell is a requiem? Why, it is FUNERAL MASS! Don't you know your Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart? By the way, Mozart wrote today's theme song!

Now onto today's business. Farewell to Kathrene Harris. Mrs. Harris, in 2000 you were the most loved person on Earth. You were the one to certify the Florida vote. And you could not certify it fast enough!

You were loved by the Republican party. You helped give the election to George Bush. And as a reward, you were allowed to run for the US House.

But what happened then? When you ran for the Senate, the Republican party would not support you. Nobody would campaign for you. Even your buddy Jeb Bush cut you loose.

And when George Bush came to Florida to campaign for Charlie Christ, and Christ failed to show up, you were not allowed in the building. Even when you tried to latch onto an unpopular president, you were not allowed to do so.

So, how do you feel now? You lost by a large margin. You are nothing now. I would say we miss you, but that would be a lie. NOBODY misses you Kathrene Harris. So here is the message to you Mrs. Harris - don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. We do not want ass prints on our new door. You lost. Please go away. The further the better.

How does it feel? How does it feel to be a tool? How does it feel to be used, and then abandoned? Not so good huh? Well, you deserve it. So now please just crawl away.

In other news, the verdict is in. Democrats took back the House. It looks like the Democrats also have a Senate majority by one seat. There are only 2 seats still up for grabs now, and it will be close. There will be recounts - but this time the recounts will be requested by Republicans.

I look forward to piles of crap with "no spin zones" on Fox News claim how the Republicans asking for recounts are not sore losers.

AND THIS JUST IN!!! The Senate seat in Missouri is Democrat! The Republican incumbent lost, by 1 percentage point. The Senate is now dead even! And in the remaining two seats, Democrats are leading - by narrow margins. It looks like Montana will also go Democrat, as will Virginia. So the Democrats could take the Senate.

Better late than never. George Bush - time to come up with new catch phrases. You are going to have to actually show up to work - for the first time in your life. No more "vote the way I want you to, because I am the President" bullshit. You will now have to come up with something of REAL substance. Good luck with that.

And Democrats - I hope you learned a lesson here. Do not allow the party to go too far to the left. Stay in the center. Choose your leaders with GREAT CARE. The choices Democrats make in the next few days will determine how long this trend lasts. The people want change. POSITIVE change.

The nation is still divided along party lines. Remember this. Democrats have to use their new power carefully. It is OK to hold the Executive Branch accountable for the actions it takes, but there should not be any witch hunts.

My Lazy Voting System

Welcome to election day! I hope that you are going to perform the traditional election day celebration ritual.

NO NO NO! Not that traditional celebration! You know, the one where you sit on the sofa, resting on your fat lazy ass ¹ and make up excuses to not vote - then bitch about the results.

I am talking about the OTHER traditional celebration. The one where you get up, put on some clothing, get in the car, start the car, drive to some church or park or school or whatever, and fool with a mysterious electronic and/or mechanical/manual operated machine. Then someone else fools with the same machine, a few goats and chickens are sacrificed, some magical wands and a super magical talisman is waved around, and a winner is selected by the Supreme Court.

We call this process "voting".

And it is VERY important that everyone vote this time around ² !! So important that I have a system that you can feel free to steal. My patented voting system works in every state. And it is very simple to learn. I call it.....

VOTING BY SUBSCRIPT!

Here is how it works. When you have your ballot, look for the subscript (D) and vote for that person. If there is no (D) then pick any letter that is NOT (R).

The (R)s have held the government hostage for 6 years now, and what has been done? Nothing that is what. The working people are not better off, no matter WHAT the rich say. The economy is not better, no matter what the stock market says. The only thing the (R)s have done is get the USA stuck in a war for which there is no way out. Some idiot saying "we will win" is NOT a battle plan for victory. Placing the blame on Generals who advised against going in the first place is also not a plan.

My system will place more (D)s in office. This will make Congress a check and balance on the right now unlimited power of the executive branch. The "rubber stamp" congress will end. The executive branch will have to come up with some better material. Some new catch phrases.

And best of all, they will have to explain themselves. No more of this "just vote for what I want" crap.

Once again, not a perfect system - but at this point what choice do we have? Those who think one party rule is great should just move to China. There is only one party there.

<sub>1. I do not know that you actually have a fat lazy ass. I was speaking
in the collective here. Your ass is just fine.
2. Unless you are going to vote Republican, in which case stay home.
Voting is stupid.</sub>

Everybody Neat And Pretty? Then On With The Show!

Guess what phrase from a classic TV show is printed on all the little bars of soap and shampoo left in the rooms of all Disney Resorts?

Anyhow, I am back. So here is my spy report!

Friday I checked in at the Pop Century Resort. I was in the 70's area. The stairwells were hidden by giant 8-track tapes. There were mood rings and platform shoes and all kinds of crap all over the place. On top of the building were phrases from the 70s such as "polyester" and stuff. The pool is called "The Hippy Dippy Pool". Of all the value resorts, I like Pop Century the best. They are all pretty much the same as far as the room goes, but the decoration vary. Pop Century has a 50s area, 60s area, 70s area, 80s area, and a 90s area. With room to expand.

From there it was off to Downtown Disney to see the Cirque du Soleil show La Nouba. It is a good show, worth seeing if you are ever in that area.

That was it for Friday night.

Saturday was Wine And Food Festival time!! So after all the people with kids had already vacated the place I decided to get up and start moving around. You can tell when the families with kids get up because the kids are all running in the halls. And making "excited" noises. The trick is letting them do their thing, then you get up. That way the food places are not as busy and lines are shorter.

Upon arrival at Epcot, I went to the new "Soarin" thing at The Land. It is a movie where you "hang glide" over California. You sit in this thing, strap in, and take off. If you are in row 1 (I was) you are about 30 or so feet off the ground. Once airborne, you do not really move - it just seems like you are because of the movie screen. And your hanging thing can tilt forwards (when you climb) backwards (when you loose altitude) and to the left and right (when you turn). It is pretty cool. The ride is in "smell-o-vision" so when you go through the orange groves and forest take a whiff! The line was 1 hour so I got a fast pass and left.

Then it was off to Test Track. This is the General Motors sponsored ride where you get to experience a vehicle test track. There is the hill climb, , cornering, suspension test, heat and cold test, and so on. Oh and the crash test. And then the high speed loop where you hit close to 70 mph - making Test Track the fastest ride at Disney. And the longest ride.

After that it was off to get loaded. First stop....

ARGENTINA! This is not a usual place in Epcot. It will only be there for the festival. I did not get any food but I did get some Bodegas Salentein Malbec wine. It was very good. Red, and semi-dry.

Next stop - MEXICO! Mexico is a regular part of the World Showcase, but it has some extras for the festival. I had some Dos Equis Beer. I should have had some wine, Dos Equis is not that great. It is a lager style beer, while I am into ales. But still - it was cold and it was fizzy.

Next stop - FLORIDA! Yes, Florida has its own little booth for the festival. It makes sense, because if you ask a resident not all of Florida is actually part of the United States. I am kind of like Puerto Rico. I have a US passport and am counted as a citizen - but I live in South Florida. More like a commonwealth than part of a state. Anyhow, I had some garlic and ginger shrimp (GREAT!!!) and some mango wine (BETTER!!!!!). The Florida Riesling wine sucks. Avoid it.

From there I hit Soarin with my fast pass. Then off to.......

NEW ZEALAND! I had a "lamb slider" (little hamburger thing with lamb instead of ground beef) and a Nobilo Merlot. Excellent all around. The wine was dry, but it retained just enough sweetness to make it extra yummy.

Next - GREECE! No food there just some Greek wine. Now the Greeks have been making wine for 4,000 years OR MORE, so I was not going to settle for any second rate crap here! I went for the Ampelou Gis Red, mostly because I could pronounce it. It was good stuff. I could drink more of it.

Then it was CANADA! Canada is a regular part of Epcot. Of course I had to have the Ice Wine. No brainer there. I got the Mission Hill Reserve Riesling Ice Wine. Very very good. Possibly the best of all wines at the festival. Really - if you EVER get a chance to sample some Ice Wine do it. Do not think about it, just get it.

Next stop - POLAND! I had to have some Polish Beer, so I got the Okocim Beer. My friend got the Raspberry Wine. The wine was better than the beer. The Polish need to get some beer lessons from their neighbors the Czech Republic or their near neighbors Austria. But it was ok. Once again, it was a lager style beer where I am more of an ale kind of person.

Then it was....IRELAND! YEA! Now we are talking! Me roots are in Ireland. Well some of them at least. I went right for the Bunratty Meade Honey Wine. Meade could be the oldest fermented beverage in the world. Older than beer or wine. My friend had already guessed I would order the meade. She knows me too well it seems. I am VERY predictable. I wept when the meade was gone, for there was no more to drink. It was THAT good.

I skipped the "Great Beers Of The World" booth because none of the beers were that great. Labatt Blue a "great beer of the world"??!?!?!? I THINK NOT! Sorry Canada, but Labatt sucks. Stick to your awesome wines please. The closest to a "great" beer the booth had was Bass, and that is not so great. Plus I have drank gallons of Bass over the years - so I do not need more.

FRANCE was next. France is a regular part of Epcot. I had some French Beer. Kronenbourg 1664. It was ok. I have to wonder if the beer they had was the same stuff I could get in real France or if it was some export crap made for American taste. It was not so good beer. But I did try some Escargots! The snails were good, the beer not so good. I sampled some wine my friend got, that was some good stuff! She got some Sparkling Pomegranate Kir. I recommend that stuff over the beer.

Next time I go to Epcot, I am going to skip all the wine and beer in France in favor of a brand new booth they have! You can now get a Grand Mariner slushie! Holy crap! How cool is that!!!!??!?! Very cool.

I skipped Turkey, because I got a spy report that the wine there is not very good. Same for Morocco. Morocco is always at Epcot, so next time I go I may try some. But my wine spy reports are from a good source.

But SPAIN! I had to stop there! And I got some Condesa de Leganza Crianza red. Excellent. The Spanish rock.

INDIA was up next. No wine there, I was still savoring the Spanish Wine. But I did have some Curried Butternut Squash Soup with Naan. Awesome. Indian food could very well be the BEST FOOD in the world.

JAPAN was just around the corner at this point. Japan is always at Epcot. And this is good, because I can always get some sake and sushi. Usually I get hot sake, but this time I had the Ozeki Dry Sake, which was cold. And some spicy tuna rolls. The sake was good, but I like hot sake better than the ones served cold. Still, not bad!

Next, off to the HOPS AND BARLEY MARKET! There was a USA booth, but I skipped that. It was just American Wines. While they are not bad, there was a Samuel Adams booth right next to it! I could not decide what to get, so I had the Samuel Adams Pale Ale and the Samuel Adams 11th Year Anniversary Festival Beer - which was brewed special for the Epcot Food and Wine Festival. The special beer was a "porter" style. It was great. So was the Pale Ale.

My friend got me some mystery champagne while I got a seat for The Contours show. Who are The Contours?!?! Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance). That was their one and only hit, but now you know who they are.

That was it for the festival. I skipped Italy (always there, I have had the wine tour of Italy aready), Oktoberfest, Australia, South Africa, Thailand, China, Scandinavia, and Chile. I ran out of time. Between the show, the pit stop my friend had to make at the doll shop in Germany, and the fact that we had dinner reservations at The Land we simply ran out of time. I could have made it to all the booths had we not stopped. But there is ALWAYS next year!

Sunday I hit Animal Kingdom to check out the Everest ride. It is cool. You start off with a very mild train ride - no big deal. Not too fast, but not slow and boring either. Then you go up. Way up. There is some more not so fast stuff, then the train stops. The tracks ahead are all twisted and broken and stuff. You hear something roar, then the train shoots BACKWARDS! You have to escape the Yeti at this point. The tracks switch and you go into the darkness where the train starts to do some wild stuff. Then you stop and go forward again. The Yeti is pissed off because you invaded his home. There are some drops. There are tight turns. You see the Yeti and he tries to swat the train off the tracks. Then you are safe back at the train station.

That is about it really. I plan to go back seeing as how I got the Florida resident seasonal pass.

How To Greet Paris Hilton

So what is the proper way to greet Paris Hilton should you ever run across her?

Hi ho!

And on that note - hi ho, hi ho, its off to Orlando I go (dwarves whistling) hi ho hi ho hi ho.

Yes, it is time for the "Food and Wine" festival in Walt Disney World. In Epcot Center. Friday I leave Miami at around 10:00 AM to start the drive. I have to make a quick pit stop along the way to collect an out of town friend then it is off to give the giant rat some money. The giant rat never has enough money.

I have tickets to see the Cirque du Soleil on Friday. It should be a good show. On Saturday I will be stumbling around the World Showcase, drinking wine from every country there. I may not remember the whole day. Sunday is recovery day, where I shall take the time to visit the new "Everest" attraction in Animal Kingdom (Ill provide a spy report about the Yeti that supposedly lurks in that attraction) then spend the rest of the day at the Disney MGM Studios. I want to see the new stunt show and stuff. I might even go on the terrifying elevator of doom if the line is not too long.

So no new posts till at least Monday. Then there will be many spy reports and stuff.

It Keeps Getting Better!

So maybe you have been exposed to just a little tiny taste of politics, South Florida style. It is great. In Miami-Dade County, just about anything can happen. Citizens can pelt Miami City Hall with bananas while the police watch. Mayors can pelt their wife with teapots. Commissioners can be busted in crack houses and with prostitutes, then skip off to Australia to avoid jail time. Mayors can be found guilty in federal court of accepting $1 million for selling votes in zoning issues, then be re-elected (but there could be more to this story, who knows).

And so on. There is never a dull moment here.

So the latest political no-no involves one Republican congressgoon Arza. This genius called the superintendent of Miami-Dade County Public Schools a nigger. Dr. Rudy Crew, being a decent guy and above all this 1940s crap, just considered the source and declined to get involved. I call that tactic "taking the high road" or "staying above the bullshit". Anyone who uses that word to describe another human being is nothing more than a big festering pile of Bill O'Reilly that the neighbors dog leaves in my yard so I have to wash it down into the lawn using the garden hose.

But someone else ratted Arza out. So what did he do? He called the rat (also in the Republican party) and left threats on his cell phone. Then Arza's cousin called and left more threats. You know, stuff like "I am going to F___ you up bitch", and other highbrow stuff like that.

So the guy called police and released the recorded voice mail messages to the media. It is all over national news.

Azra blamed alcohol. As if it was alcohol's fault he is a bigot. I mean, I drink. Sometimes I get drunk. You have never seen me on national TV using racial slurs against anyone. I do not call people and leave "I am going to kick your ass" messages on voice mail. So he gets on the TV and does the whole "Im sorry" bit and "I was drunk" and so on. I am not buying it. And it seems nobody else is either, because.........

Today Arza resigned. His name is still on the ballot, as it is too late to have to removed. It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that any other Republican will be able to hold onto his seat. People will have to vote for Mr. Racist McLynch Pants, or the other guy.

Bum bum bum...another one bites the dust! Sing along everyone! And another one gone and another one gone, another one bites the dust! Hey, were gonna get you too (Kathrine Harris), another one bites the dust...

That is IF the electronic machines are not pre-rigged. But now that reports are out that a company from Venezuela might own some stock in the electronic voting machine company, you know what that means! Hugo Chavez will be the next Governor Of Florida!

My Project.

So what have I been up to? Not a whole lot. You know, keeping up with this blog, feeding cats and a lizard, "looking for a job" to keep the State off my ass, and checking up on the status of any possible new jobs.

And fooling around with the truck. Now that I have the time. This project was on the list of things I wanted to do, but never got around to doing.

This is what the factory reverse lights look like. Of course, in the photo they look a lot brighter than they really are. With it being dark outside and all and the auto shutter on the cell phone camera being not so good.

And this is sort of what it looked like when the factory lights were on. In this photo I had to crank up the brightness a tad and the contrast even more, but you can see the sidewalk. And the grass behind the sidewalk. Not very well of course, the factory reverse lights were pretty much useless to the driver. All they did was alert anyone behind the truck that it was in reverse. Unaltered, you could not see anything in this photo.

This is what it looks like standing behind the truck with the extra lights on. The extra lights look only a little bit brighter than the factory ones, but they are much brighter. The factory bulbs are like 15 watts or something. Maybe less. The new lights are 55 watts each. That is as much power as the headlights draw.

And now you see the difference. This photo has the contrast cranked up to the same level as the other photo - so that a better comparison can be made. There is a lot of difference.

Now, all I need are some fog lights! Well not really "fog" lights because it does not get foggy here that often. So by "fog" lights I mean extra headlights, pointed very low and slightly off to each side. This will light up the side of the road better. And it will look cool. And it may or may not be street legal. But who cares - in Miami "street legal" is a joke. Nothing is done to enforce it. I have seen groups of cops around another cops personal Ford truck jacked so high off the ground that a child can walk under the thing without having to duck. By law in Florida any vehicle with a bumper more than 2 feet off the ground can not be on the streets. I see monster trucks all the time driving around with bumpers 4 or more feet off the ground.