Adventures In Dentistry

I have replacement fillings now.

The process was not so bad. I self medicated with the rum before going in. Two shots. I was getting ready to run back to the truck for a third shot when I was called.

So I go to the back room. Sounds of wirring instruments were all over the place. Apparently Tuesday afternoon is a great time for everyone to get a cleaning. But I had to go to the real dentist room. In the back. With the real drill.

The drill.

Anyway I got a Novocaine injection. I think that is what it was. They jab the needle in the back corner of your jaw, where the lower jaw bone attaches to your skull. And then they plunge the needle back and forth while injecting the stuff.

Not fun.

And then after the stuff soaks in, the drilling begins.

The drilling.

But I could still feel stuff - a fact I quickly communicated. You see, I came expecting the worst. So I got a second injection, this time along the gum below the offending teeth. Two injections with the same syringe. Half the dose each time.

And then there was more soaking in time. At this point half my head is not there anymore. I could not feel my lip. I could not feel my tongue. I could not feel my gums.

And then the drilling resumed. Now the truth is I could still feel something. I do not know what. It was like a dull pressure. Not really anything that hurt, but I was still a little concerned that I could feel anything at all. The rest of the area was dead after all. So why could I still feel anything?

But I did not say anything. It really did not hurt, I could just tell something was there.

Now by this time I can see this fine mist of old filling and just a very little bit of tooth enamel flying out of my mouth. And then there was the smoke, and the smell of burning bone (which smells similar to burning hair for some reason).

And then it was over. Here I was expecting some horrible experience and the actual drilling was over very fast. Well hell I probably did not even need that second injection!

I was expecting far worse.

Anyway I opted for the silver metal fillings. I had the white fillings before. But the silver stuff lasts longer. The dentist recommended it because it was for the molars. You use those to chew with more than your front teeth. And the ugly silver filling is not as noticeable when it was way back in the back of your mouth.

The white porcelain fillings I had wore out.

And then as an added bonus, the dentist "rounded off" some points on my upper molars, above where the fillings were placed.

All in all, it was not so bad. I just have to get used to the way everything feels now.

Filling Replacement

I hate this shit.

It seems that a filling put in years ago is wearing down. Can they do that? Anyway, it has to be replaced.

So that means the dentist has to use the drill. I HATE the drill. It is the worst.

I can handle the cleaning. Really. No problem. Even when I do not do a great job brushing the back of my lower teeth so they need to use the ultrasonic water thing AND the metal hook. What is a little blood? No big deal.

But I HATE the drill!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they are going to have to use the drill. The old filling has to be drilled out and replaced with a new filling. This was supposed to be done in January. I had an appointment scheduled for the beginning of that month. But nobody called to remind me. So I took the opportunity to chicken out.

Actually I sort of forgot. I mean I remembered I had an appointment, but not the exact day. It was the holidays. The dentist was closed for two or three weeks. And so on.

I chickened out. Nobody called me, and I did not call anybody.

But this time I can not chicken out. I have to go. I could put this off, but if the filling fails it will hurt.

But that is not all. OH NO! You see, if I keep screwing off then this COULD turn into a root canal. And that costs $1500 and is not fun.

So Ill go. Even if there is going to be drilling.

So here is my plan!!!!!!

It starts off with Flor De Cana Grand Reserve.

Now this is some good shit. Aged for 7 years, this is some darn good rum. It has complex and subtle flavors. I suggest sipping this fine rum neat. That means by itself with just a splash of water. On the rocks works too. Do not bother mixing this stuff with anything except a splash of water. You will ruin it. If you must mix it with Coke, do yourself a favor and just buy the aged 5 years Flor De Cana Gold. The Grand Reserve is far too good to ruin with Coke or any other mixer that is not water.

It also makes for a fine shot. But really it is not made for shooting. It is great as a first shot (maybe the first two shots), but after that you should probably switch to something else. Otherwise you are just wasting this fine rum.

SEE!?!?! Now I need some rum with a splash of water. One moment please!!!

Like I said - excellent stuff. I am telling you, with the splash of water this stuff is super smooth. No burning feeling at all. Just a slightly warm feeling in your stomach.

Anyhow back to the plan! Here is how it works!!!

1. Stuff (what is left of) the bottle of Flor De Cana 7 Year Grand Reserve in the truck tool box.

2. Drive to the dentist.

3. Take a shot in the parking lot.

4. Contemplate the wisdom of a second shot.

5. Walk into the office, feeling better than I was during the drive.

6. DEMAND the happy gas! The happy gas is just fun. I like the happy gas. It will make everything funny. Between the rum and the happy gas everything should be going well by now. I may not even care about any drilling.

7. Get the injection of Novocaine. I hate this too.

8. Try to not move while the actual drilling is going on.

9. Leave. Get back to the truck. Stop off at the booze depot because I need more rum (current bottle is almost empty). Drive home. Put the rum away for later.

See?? The master plan. I think it is a great master plan. There are good parts (rum and happy gas) and shitty parts (drilling) but the good may cancel out the shitty so it will end up neutral.

If the dentist mission does not take too long, then I may be able to FINALLY finish putting the boat back together. I took the floor lockers out for some reason. I do not remember why. Anyway they are back in - but not secured. So I need to pull them out again, attach more hose clamps to various hoses in the bilge so whatever is leaking does not leak anymore, maybe goop the hose connection points up with silicone sealant to really make sure nothing leaks, put the lockers back in, screw them in place, then finally secure the hatch covers in place.

But I do not want to do it. I am tired of boat projects. They never end.

Project Photos

It is time. For photos of the latest project. From start to finish.

First I had to go to the place of curse, and get the raw materials. Which consisted of wooden poles. Like this.



This is the raw material. Plain old boring pine poles. Now I could have just used them like they were. But as someone once said in a comment here "nothing finishes a project like paint". Or something.

But I did not want to use paint. I thought that some wood stain would look better. Plus stain is easier to use. You gop the stuff on. No need to worry about brush strokes or over application. Just slop it on there! Let it sit for a few minutes (15 max) then wipe it off with a rag. The rag removes excess stain, and what is left is only the stuff that soaked into the wood.


Here is the pole, sanded and stained. I also cut the notch in the bottom of the pole, which you can sort of see. The notch is important because it keeps the pole from turning in the rod holder.

But you can not just stain something and call it done! Oh no. You have to apply clear varnish over the stain! It seals the wood and makes it all shiny any stuff. So you have to apply one coat, let it dry, lightly sand the finish with very fine grit sandpaper, then apply another coat. Repeat as desired. Three coats is probably enough, but I went with 4 or 5.

Here you can see a staff hanging from my fancy high tech drying apparatus. Notice how it is sort of shiny? Well that is wet varnish. But the pole is hanging outside and dries quickly. I used heavy fishing line and the kayak wall mount thing to make the fancy drying apparatus.
Now this is more like it! The close up shot reveals the staff in more detail. See how nice the stain looks? You can still see the wood grain. Paint covers up the grain. But this is still drying.

And now, the finished product. This is not the same staff as the one in the above photos, but it was done with the same steps.
Now this is starting to look finished! You can see the stainless steel eye bolt, and my fancy high tech flag attachment method. Cable ties. MUCH nicer than plain unfinished wood!!


The end result. From a plain boring pine pole, to a drilled notched stained varnished boat flag staff.

And they want $50 for a boring aluminum pole flag staff. HA! That wood was $1.30 a foot. Each staff is two feet. So that is a whole whopping $2.60. The stainless hardware was three or four bucks. So that is what - $6.60? The stain and varnish were $3.50 each - but I do not need an entire can for one staff. So lets figure I used 50 cents of stain and varnish. Up to $7.10! So I have less than $10 locked up in each staff.

Now - if I can just manage to not have these fly out of the boat when it is being towed home........

Building Stuff

My latest DIY project is pretty much done. 2/3 done anyway.

I like these sorts of projects. They are fun. But the problem is that I tend to suck at DIY things that are not REALLY easy.

But no matter what, the project ALWAYS progresses as follows. First I have to think up something to do that I figure I can handle on my own. Then I have to decide if doing it myself will be cheaper than just buying whatever crazy thing it is that I need.

Once I figure that it IS cheaper to just get the item in question than to attempt to build it myself, I then have to decide that I will build it anyway.

The latest project was simple. Make some flag staffs that fit into the boat rod holders.

Sounds easy huh? Well it was. But after the first ones were built I thought up ways to improve them. And then they fell out of the boat on the highway.

So I had to go back. I got two more poles. BUT the Home Depot was out of the stainless steel eye bolts I needed. So I go to another Home Depot and they had the correct eye bolts. I also got some locking nuts and washers.

So I am up to three trips.

But then I think up more things I can do with sticks. And I think that some wood stain and varnish would make the flag staffs look better.

Four trips.

And then after applying stain three times (it is way easier than painting, just slop the stuff on, let it sit for a few minutes, then wipe off the excess with napkins or an old shirt or whatever) I apply a few coats of varnish.

BUT.....the gloss is just not right. Because I did not sand the poles before each coat of varnish.

So - back to Home Depot! I need some 220 grit sand paper. And while I am there I decide to get another unfinished pole to make another staff. I also get a sanding sponge to see how they work. And they work very well!

Five trips to the cursed place of improvement. But I am pleased with the end results.


And I learned something! First I should have sanded the first two poles before applying the stain. I sanded the third pole with the sponge which has medium and fine grit. Then I hit it with the very fine 220 grit paper. Before the stain was applied it was smooth as could be. The stain took very well. One application is all it needs.

The other two were already stained and a few applications of varnish were applied. So I sanded them with the 220 and applied another coat of varnish. Then when it dried I sanded them again and applied more varnish. They are drying now.

The third staff will have the first coat of varnish applied sometime later today.

Ill have photos of my handy work tomorrow!!!!!

By the way, 5 trips to the place of curse is about right. I never get all the stuff I need on the first trip. Call it poor planning. Call it screwing up and having to go get more stuff because I destroyed the first batch of stuff. Call it whatever you want. It ALWAYS happens.

Why I Hate Home Depot

So why do I hate Home Depot? Well lets see.

Could it be the RETARDS who work there? NOPE! They are annoying but at least working at the Home Depot keeps them off the street.

Could it be the HORRIBLE customer service? NOPE! I just get my own stuff. Lets say I need chain cut. I just measure it and cut it myself. Then take it to the register and say "I have no idea how much this is. I asked for help in the chain isle but when nobody came I just cut it myself". Then the manager says "customers are not supposed to mess with the dangerous equipment" and I say "well if it is safe enough for the RETARDS that do not know what customer needs help in the chain isle then why not just allow anyone from off the street to operate it".

Could it be the loose hardware that is all mixed up? NOPE! That makes looking for the nut and bolt you need like a treasure hunt.

Could it be the long checkout lines because the manager is only slightly less retarded than the employees and think that you need 4 people working returns but only one at the registers? No. I am used to that.

How about that "stainless steel" that rusts? Naaa. I know that crap rusts. If I need real stainless steel I know where to go.

No, the reason I HATE that place is that it is an ASSHOLE MAGNET. It seems I am the only non asshole to shop there. Seriously, I can not go to that horrible place without encountering a GAGGLE of ASSHOLES.

By the way, a gaggle is a group of geese. You have a herd of cows, a swarm of bees, and a gaggle of geese.

And the last trip to Home Depot, to get two more sticks (the last few little projects have been VERY stick intensive), this is what I find when I get back to my truck.


That red thing is my truck. And that orange thing is a Home Depot lumber cart. Some ASSHOLE left it right in front of my truck.

Gee, I am done hauling lumber out of the Home Depot! Should I take the cart to the "return carts here" place?? HELL NO! Ill just leave it in front of the car parked next to me!

So I have to move the cart to the "return carts here" thing. Which by the way was very close by.

I saw the guy who left it there. I was parking when he was loading the lumber in his vehicle. His FAT ASS was WADDLING, much like an obese walrus, down the parking lot. But did I run him over? No - for that would be rude. Did I shout "hey you fat piece of shit, get your fat ass the fuck out of my way so I can drive! Your ass is so wide it is clogging the parking lot like a 10 pound turd clogs my toilet!!". No, for that would be rude. It would be the truth, but sometimes the truth is not appropriate to say. This is why lies were invented. For the times when the truth is just not what you want to say. Did I do what every other asshole in Miami does and just lay on my horn?? No, that pisses me off too. When people pull that crap on me I move SLOWER.

No, I waited. Patiently. One day I may be old and fat too. Not THAT fat because I would have my stomach removed first.

And then - the cart was left in front of my truck. Where I had to move it.

Some people deserve the mega atomic super hanging from the flagpole wedgie.

Foreign Stuff Is Strange

You know what DirecTV needs? TV channels from Japan. Heck, I may even be willing to pay for a Japanese TV channel subscription. Why? For stuff like this.



Now I do not speak Japanese. So I really have no idea what is going on. Best I can figure it, this is some sort of strange "game show" type thing. But instead of answering trivia question or solving a word puzzle by picking letters, you get hit in the nuts.

I guess. I wonder what you win? Besides a hit to the nuts.

And then there is this. I have no idea what it is all about.



OK really - have no idea what that is all about. All I know is that the water is hot. Like 120 degrees hot or something. Or maybe it is salt water chilled to below freezing. Comments are mixed. So it is either water that is really hot or really cold.

The object seems to be.....uhhh...making that chick's seat bounce so her goods jiggle? But to make the seat bounce you have to be in the tub of either very hot or very cold water. And of you think cold water is not so bad, get some salt and make a few gallons of salt water. Put the water in a container. Now add a bunch of ice. Empty the freezer - you can always make more ice. Then stick your arm in it. See how it feels.

And we think "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" is a good TV game show. HA!

If you get the G4 network (channel 354 on DirecTV) you can watch "Unbeatable Banzuke". It is another wacky obstacle course show. Only there are a bunch of different courses designed to be completed in different ways. There is the stilts course. The mountain bike course. The "walk on your hands" course. The pogo stick course. The "walk on top of foam dominoes" course. The crazy cat wheelbarrow course. The "balance a metal pole on two fingers and walk through the course" course. And so on. I think there are 9 in all, but I am not sure about that.

Unfortunately there are no good You Tube videos of Unbeatable Banzuke yet.

Hot Stuff

Tuesday was somewhat exciting!

Sometime in the afternoon, I noticed a strange blue car across the street. It had no front bumper. That made it stand out somewhat.

But - whatever. Lots of people here drive pieces of shit. Can't really blame them, sometimes economic reality catches up with all of us. Cars can be expensive after all.

However, this car stood out. So I go to take a closer look. And what did I see? This.

This is where the engine should be. Notice how there is nothing at all there. No radiator, no engine, and no transmission. This can only mean one thing.

This is a stolen and stripped car.

So I decide to look for more stuff. Why not. I did not steal it. It is already stripped! It is not like I can take anything else of major value here. So I open the door. It was unlocked, and I used my shirt tail so as to not leave any fingerprints.

I may be dumb, but I am not stupid.


Well now, isn't this special. No interior at all. Well there was this concrete block where the drivers seat should be. This car used to have a manual transmission, as I can see where the stick used to be. No door panels either.

By the way, I could see the inside was stripped out without opening the car. But the windows were really dirty and it was impossible to get a clear photo without opening the door. So I did.

Where the back seat should have been I found a shirt. It said "University of Miami School Of Medicine". There was also a name on it.

So I assume the car was stolen from a UM medical student.

Anyhow I called the cops and the po po showed up. The first cop showed up in an unmarked truck. He took a look at the car and then said "Do not touch or look at this car". Well a little late there! I did not really touch the car as I know better. But I doubt the crime lab will bother much with this car. The police are too overloaded with other more important cases. The car thieves know this, and this is why the car was not set on fire.

But what the hell is up with the "do not look" part of the demand?!?!? I can look at whatever I want! This is America!

So out of spite I looked some more. I got a lawn chair and opened a beer and looked at the car. TAKE THAT! I am looking at the car!!!! And what exactly are you going to do about it?!??! As if I need to ask.



The second cop to show up was in a marked car. He hung out till the tow truck showed up. In the meantime I busted him drinking coffee and, of course, eating a donut.

Don't cops know about the stereotype? They must. But they do not care. Did he HAVE TO be drinking Dunkin Donuts coffee and eating a donut?!?!?! Really now?

So anyway, it seems my hood is a good place to dump off stolen cars. If I see this happen again, I will try my best to get a picture of the tow truck so I can give that evidence to the police.

Car thievery pisses me off.

DIY Improvements.

Slowly the process of fixing all the crap I broke / lost during the last boat mission is getting resolved. Monday I managed to swing by the Home Depot to get more stuff to make two flag staffs.

But there is an interesting thing that happens with home DIY projects. You get an idea to construct something. So you do.

And then after you are done, you think of something you could have done differently that would improve the design. But you already have a first generation item.

Now sometimes you can modify the item to incorporate the improvements. And sometimes you can't. To implement the design improvements you have to start all over.

And such was the case with the flag staffs. The new and improved design includes locking nuts (they have a nylon insert) and TWO ty-wraps holding the flags on the stainless steel eye bolt. This is an example of a design change I could have made to the old ones.

But now for a design change that was impossible to make with the old staffs. I cut them slightly longer. So now the groove that prevents the staffs from twisting (there is a metal pins in the rod holders to keep fishing equipment in place) is cut deeper. About 1/2 inch of staff extends out the bottom of the holders. So now I can drill a small hole and put a small bolt in the part of the staff that sticks out the bottom of the rod holders to prevent them from flying out again. Even when towing.

I also improved the bow tie down thing. It broke too, but not because of anything I forgot to do. Some of the hardware came loose. What I had was two lengths of stainless steel cable. One length was wrapped around the trailer and held in place with cable clamps. Attached to the other end of the cable was a turnbuckle. And then on the other end of the turnbuckle was more cable, more cable clamps, and a stainless steel S hook.

The way it worked was I would put the S hook on the bow eye, then tighten the turnbuckle. This prevented the boat from bouncing up and down on the trailer. It did very little to hold it on the trailer - that is what the winch is for.

Well the cable clamps came loose and the S hook cable slipped and the whole invention quit working. Not a big deal, I did not really need it.

Well the improved design eliminated one of the cables. I bolted the turnbuckle directly to a part of the trailer, so there is just one cable going from the top of the turnbuckle to the S hook. And 4 cable clamps. I used the red lock tight in the hardware this time. This stuff is glue for nuts and bolts. Once the lock tight cures the nuts will not be able to come loose. Not even with hand tools. Supposedly, according to the package, the hardware will have to be heated to 500 degrees to break the lock tight. In reality you CAN get stuff loose with hand tools, but you really have to work at it.

I really need to photograph more stuff like this.

Anyway now the bow tie down will be easier to use (the dual cable system with the turnbuckle really needed two people because the cable would twist and so it helped to have one person hold the cables while the other person tightened the turnbuckle. Well now there is only one cable so I can easily just grab the one cable and tighten the turnbuckle myself.

But mostly, I like it when a DIY project works out.

Anyhow both these were simple projects. 30 minutes or so for everything. Not a big deal. A nice somewhat relaxing way to end the day.

I Was The Asshole

I missed a day again. I was beat after the bay thing. As usual I did nothing to prepare for the time on the water, option to wait for the last minute to do things.

So I was pretty tired when I got home. Blah blah blah.

And I also have to fix stuff I broke. Yes, there was boat carnage! I broke stuff. And lost stuff.

It seems that I forgot to lower my VHF radio antenna before trailering home. I also forgot to remove a flag. On the way home the antenna smacked something. I do not know what. Maybe a highway overpass? Maybe a sign? Hapless pelican? UFO?

Well whatever it was it broke about two feet of the fiberglass antenna shell, exposing the antenna element that was just sort of hanging. SHIT! There goes $40. I managed to get a new antenna for about 1/2 the price of a new one or else it would have been more. Closer to $75 or $80.

And where the hell is the flag? The brand new flag I had just obtained? And the wooden flag staff I made for it?

Probably still on the expressway. I hope I did not cause any accidents. The cops have not tracked me down so I guess nobody took down the trailer license plate and reported me for causing property damage or personal injury.

So I had to buy another 8 foot marine VHF antenna. And another flag. And the stuff to make another flag staff.

The bow tie down also gave up. But that can be fixed. I just need to tighten some cable clamps and put some lock-tight on the threads. This will glue the nuts in place preventing them from becoming loose. I should have done this in the first place.

Other than this, the event went off without a hitch.

On the bright side, I now have a broken fiberglass antenna that I can cut the jagged edge off of and create another flag pole out of. Now I have a place to display a divers down flag. I think I have another ratchet antenna mount around here someplace.

I really need to pay more attention to what is going on. I can not afford to buy a new antenna every time I use the boat.

I wondered why people were passing me on the breakdown lane on the highway. Here I was thinking "what an asshole that person is" when in fact two foot wooden poles were flying off the boat. I was the asshole after all!

One thing is for sure - it is not likely I will forget to lower the antenna and stow flags away again!

Baynanza 2008

The day is here! Baynanza is upon me.

So, at some unholy hour in the morning I have to rise from my slumber like a zombie rises from the grave, and stumble about grunting noises looking for some fresh brains to eat. Like a zombie, only less stinky because none of my flesh is rotting and I showered recently.

The alarm is set for 6 AM. Now under NORMAL conditions if I am awake at 6 AM is it because I have not gone to sleep yet. But normality is for sane people. Nobody ever accused me of sanity.

Most of the grunt work is done. Today at the last minute (as usual) I managed to get the boat stereo bracket made and bolted into place. So the stereo will not bounce all over the place when underway. I also bolted down the satellite radio thing. Sure I could have done this a while ago. But have we already forgotten SLOTH is my favorite deadly sin? Always put stuff off to the last minute, or else is it no fun.

The truck is cleaned out, so my crew can fit in it. This was done at about half past midnight. The trash was thrown out, everything else was crammed under the seats or put into the tool box. But whatever. There is room for people in the truck once again.

The boat is ready to go. All I need to do is unplug and remove the automatic battery charger. I also want to open all the locked compartments and remove any crap I will not be needing, so there is more space for other crap people will bring. But most of the crap is already removed.

The truck is hooked up to the boat trailer already. Ready to go.

When I awake, all I have to do is make the coffee, dump it in the thermos, put the beer and cans of fizzy water in the cooler, put the cooler in the boat cooler holder, check trailer tire pressure, load one more life jacket in the boat, grab the electronics bag and toss it into the boat, go to the gas station to get ice and possibly more air for the trailer tires, and then go to the ramp. No problem. Sounds like a lot but it is really not.

There will be photos of the bay cleanup. The camera battery is charging now. In fact, it is done charging now.

Boat battery number 1 seems to be low. I think it is on the way out. This sucks. It means I will need two new batteries soon. When I get new ones Ill get one starting battery and one deep cycle battery. Probably Optima style AGM batteries. I am done with wet cell boat batteries. AGM batteries never need water added.

I Knew This Already

So I was at Teri's blog and I came across the seven deadly sins test. My results are PROUDLY posted above. No wonder I rated "high" in pride huh?

Anyway, from greatest to least here is how I rated.

SLOTH - Very High
LUST - High
GLUTTONY - High
GREED - High
PRIDE - High
WRATH - Low
ENVY - Low

Note that I scored almost the same for pride, gluttony, and greed. Lust is the clear 2nd place winner, and sloth is number1.

Of course I already knew this. In fact I am on record telling people that sloth is my favorite deadly sin. Hell I am The LAZY Iguana. Not the active iguana.

Notice how I rated lowest in wrath and envy. Again - not a big shock to me. These two deadly sins require the MOST EFFORT! Being envious and wrathful all the time requires far too much energy. Energy I could NOT spend by being slothful.

Lust is easy. I can be lustful AND full of sloth at the same time. All I need is a beach chair, a beach umbrella, and some beer.

Gluttony and sloth go hand in hand. Apparently my habit of eating a lot of prepared and/or processed foods makes me a glutton. So be it. You know how much effort it takes to cook your own food? A lot - that is how much.

As for greed and pride - who is not greedy and proud? Why are these even "deadly" sins?

Of all the internet quiz things I have encountered, this one is by far the most accurate. Give it a try. See how you rate.

Maybe I will get some anonymous comments from people who I have told in person that sloth is my favorite deadly sin. I am best at it.

Work Games

OK I see how it is. I put up photos, and.............NOTHING!

No comments huh? Wow.

So I will not get even. I found a new way to waste time. It is called "Magic Pen". The game play seems very simple on the surface. It is very simple really. You use a magic pen to draw simple shapes. Rectangles, triangles, squares, and circles. Of course there is an object to the game! You have to move a red circle to the goal, which are marked by flags.

You can also use pins to fix shaped together, and hinges to allow shapes to swing on a pivot point.

And of course there is gravity. Larger shapes seem to weigh more than smaller shapes. You can drop objects onto other objects to get things moving, or construct a crane with a thing that swings from a hinge to get things moving. Whatever you think will work!

Anyhow, I made it to level 12 where for some reason the red circle was not there. So there was no way to pass that level. I must be missing something. So if you play and get past level 12 let me know what the heck you did to get the circle to appear!

So go on and click the link. It is a "game" but you can justify playing it because it DEMANDS critical thinking. If you ask me, it is a good game to play at work. Ill bet your boss is ALWAYS going on and on and on about "thinking outside the box" and shit. I would like to kick the ass out of whoever came up with that term. How useless is that? Think outside the box. What if it is cold outside the box? What if only retards are outside the box?

Anyhow this perfectly good at work game increases critical thinking skills, so it is not "wasting time". It is valuable training in thinking outside boxes and shit.

And here is the best part. If you get busted playing the game and the boss does not buy the "it helps sharpen my critical thinking skills" lie, and tells you something like "critical thinking is not important" then you have it made! At the next meeting you are off the hook. The boss can ask you "what do you think about this problem" and you can reply "nothing. I was not paying attention. You said not to think critically anymore".

This reminds me of a story. A friend of mine has a supervisor that sent a memo out to all employees that if you did not take your break exactly at 9 AM then you could not take it later. Use it or loose it. Well this was retarded, and everyone knew it. So one day my friend was driving somewhere with the supervisor in a company vehicle. Well at 9:00 AM he pulled over on the expressway. The supervisor freaked out. So my friend just points at the vehicle clock and then hands the supervisor a copy of the memo that the supervisor wrote. Then he announced "I am taking my break now", turned off the vehicle (no engine = no AC) removed the keys (no keys = no radio) and stepped out to smoke a cigarette.

For the next 15 minutes he just had fun watching the supervisor freak out and yell into the cell phone and whatnot.

The next day the break policy was amended to allow people who were busy with a "critical task" to take a break after the task was over, or at a point where a break can be reasonably taken.

Using official policy against the person who wrote the policy is the pinnacle of workplace games. You are just sticking to policy, so you can not be written up. But if you can skillfully turn that policy AGAINST whoever came up with it....well then you are the MASTER!

And then there was the time the boss told him to go look at some piece of equipment that was not working. This boss was an ass and berated everyone to do EXACTLY what the boss said. So my friend goes and looks at the equipment. It was in fact not working. So he continued to look at it. Well an hour later he gets called. It is the boss wanting to know what he was going. Well he was just doing exactly what the boss said - looking at the thing. Not doing anything about it, just looking at it. The boss did not say "fix the thing" or "find out why it is not working". Just to look at it. As in with your eyes. You do not look with your hands now do you???

Sometimes, work can be a lot of fun.

Today will be fun. Got a lot of stuff to do. Then after that, I have to finish up some stuff here. Then Friday more of the same. Then Saturday is the bay cleanup event.

Photos At Last, Photos At Last.

Well its PIX TIME! Hooray! I have discovered that I can upload shit to Photobucket, and then somehow the photos are resized and stuff. I suspect witchcraft.

So....without further delay or bullshit........

This is one of the first photos of the trip. Here I am, at the bow of the sailboat heading towards party spot 1. You can see some of the cable stays, my feet, and the anchor windlass. The boat is moving south along the ICW, getting ready to pass under the Port Of Miami causeway. Government Cut and the turning basin are just behind me. I am looking at the Bayside area.

The boat I was on has been all over the place. This is the flag flying off the stern. Why is it not the American Flag? Because the boat is not registered in the USA. The flag on the stern is ALWAYS the national flag of the country of registry. In this case the UK. You also fly the flag of the Country whose waters you are in on the mast or flag staff. It is called a courtesy flag. Upon entering foreign waters you hoist the yellow "Q" flag and request customs clearance. The foreign customs agency tells you where to go and you go there. Then you are cleared into a port of entry. Your yellow "Q" flag signifies you are awaiting clearance. Once you are cleared, you lower the yellow flag and hoist the courtesy flag. When you enter international waters again you lower the courtesy flag and can fly the national ensign for the country of registry from the main staff.

Or something like that. The point is the boat I was on has been all over the place. The regular crew are well seasoned. They have been all over the place with the boat. It really is a different and cool lifestyle. You only have the stuff you need, and not a lot of extra crap. You have no room for a lot of crap, so that prevents you from collecting too much junk. Everything you have, you need. And everywhere you go, your house is with you. Want to go to Aruba? Just go! Pull up the anchor and go! When you get there, drop anchor someplace and there you are! Who needs a hotel room? Get sick of the place, or a revolution breaks out? LEAVE! No airport needed.

I kind of like this photo. It is the main sail and a yard arm.

Now this is another cool photo. Notice how the horizon is level. But that is all that is level. The boat you see in the wake is heeled over. And so is the boat I am in. That blue line is the tender. The angle you see the tender at is the same angle the whole sailboat is at. It takes some time to get used to walking around. But you get used to it fairly quick.

And finally, the boat cat. This cat lives on the boat. I think his job is to keep the birds away so the boat is not covered in shit. He looks nice - but piss him off and you will bleed. How do I know? Oh - no reason. I know better than to piss off a cat. But yet somehow I managed to end up bleeding. I was playing the "you try to bat at my hand while I try to touch your foot" game and lost. Should have known better. NEVER play that game with a cat that still has claws. You loose almost every time. But he is really a nice cat. He would come visit from time to time. You could pet him - to a point. Just do not piss him off and it was all good.

I am ready for Baynanza! I will be out in my boat Saturday. I will try to get some neat photos.

Taxes, Sailboats, And Construction. Not Necessarily In That Order

Still no photos. I am lazy you see. I have a fair number of sailing trip photos, but I have to resize them and shit before I can post them here.

WAY too much work. Now Blogger has a nifty tool where I can easily add photos, and it will even resize the photos, but I do not know if the resize tool requires the whole original image to be downloaded or not. If so, then it is not that great. The original images are large.

My older digital camera had a cool feature where it would take two pictures. One at whatever resolution I would set the camera to - and another identical image sized for the web. That was awesome.

The new camera which is waterproof and all does not do this. OH WELL!!

Sooner or later I will get around to messing with the images so I can post them to the web. Or maybe I will resort to photobucket?
That seemed to work. This is the boat I was on. So let me know how long it takes to download this image and I may add more! If it takes too long then Ill have to resize the images.

The picture sucks. The light is all wrong. I took this photo in the afternoon after the race. I was in the ships dingy leaving to go to shore where there was a swimming pool FULL of fresh water. Was that ever nice.

In other news, I got my taxes filed. Sort of. I requested an extension. I seem to have spaced a W2 somewhere. I should have two, I can only find one. Now I could say "screw it" but with my luck the IRS would know about it and then put my ass in jail or something. So I filed for an extension. Now I have more time to find the missing W2, and misplace the other W2. Then I can file for another extension.

Anyone ever ask for a second W2? How does that work? Will it be a pain in my ass?

And now for the construction part of this post. I made two flag staffs for the boat. Now I can fly flags.

I made the staffs to fit in the T-Top rod holders. Out of sticks. Well not really sticks so much as wooden poles meant to hang curtains or whatever from. I cut them to be 2 feet 2 inches each. Then I drilled 1/4 inch holes in each pole at pre-measured locations. Then I put some stainless steel eye bolts through the holes and bolted them in place. Now I can use nylon straps to attach the flags to the bolts. Pretty simple really. Really short project here. All I have to do to finish them is cut a notch in the bottom of each staff so they do not spin around in the holders. There is a bar in the rod holders for this purpose. Then maybe some paint? Or wood stain and varnish? Or nothing. Screw it. It really does not matter.

I also have to redesign the litter sticks. The glue I used sort of sucks. It is good glue, but not really the right stuff for the application. I may try again with this stuff I have called "5200". It forms a plastic like permanent waterproof bond. It is made for below the waterline fittings. It is strong, so maybe it is the right stuff to use?

Or maybe thing of a redesign. I can remove the glued in nails, then drill a pilot hole into the other end of the staffs. Then drive a nail in an inch or so using a hammer. Then using a grinder reshape the nail head so it is pointy.

Back Home

It seems I survived the weekend adventure.

And what an adventure it was. Sailing is cool. Slow, but cool. The boat I was in has been all over the place. It has crossed the Atlantic Ocean a few times. Cruised around Africa. Cruised around Europe. Gone to the island Napoleon was exiled to. Gone to South America. And so on. It goes where it wants to go.

But in this case it did not really go anywhere. Just Key Largo.

Anyhow we got off to a slow start. We had to tack twice because we sort of fucked up the first tack.

But then it was all good. The boat remained on the second tack for almost the rest of the race. We were on the "high side" and passed many boats. So we made good time. The boat had a rating of 177 which meant it had 177 minutes taken off the time.

There were two critical areas. One was the Featherbeds. In this area the safe water channel is narrow. You have to use it, or else get stuck. Many boats had to tack to get through this channel. Not us.

After that there was one more narrow channel further south. Again - no tacking to get through this area.

It was a lot of fun. I like sailing.

Ill post more photos tomorrow. Right now I am pretty beat. Sailing is hard work.

Weekend Off

The day has arrived.

I still have to do some shopping. Of course I have done ZERO up to now to prepare. Sort of.

I did obtain an air mattress. So that is something. But here is what I still need.

1. BEER. Lots of beer. Beer for up to three days of heavy parting. That is a lot.

2. A bottle of good rum, as a boat gift. I have to bring something.

3. Food. For up to three days. I am thinking sandwich material for lunch and snacks and everything not dinner, and some manner of more substantial food for dinner.

4. If I can swing it, I may also bring some buffalo steak as a boat gift. But I do not know about this. Can I even find it? Who the hell has that?? And second how much does that stuff cost?

5. A sheet of plastic, so I have something to hide under if it rains. I will not even check the weather because there is nothing I can do about it.

I think I have the rest of the stuff I need. ICE! I forgot the ice! I need that. I wonder if it is OK to lug two coolers? Ill bring em and then ask. If not then Ill leave one ashore. No big deal.

So.....there may not be any more posts till Monday. Internet access may be hard to come by. Of course my phone has internet, so I may be able to get access there. But writing a whole post on the phone is a pain in the ass. And typing on that small keyboard when drunk is not exactly easy.
I am bringing the waterproof shockproof boat digital camera. I hope I remember to use it!

Slow And Steady

There are two ways to get things done. Madman style and on a geologic time scale.

Madman style is what most humans are into. You have to get something done. Time is money! So hurry up! Work faster, so that you can do more work! YOU! You are not being productive enough! So do something. It does not matter what, just so long as you are doing SOMETHING. Even if you are making things worse that is something.

So buildings are constructed, on a schedule. Take too long and it costs more, as there are penalties and stuff. Roads are built or resurfaced, at what seems like a snail pace but in reality it is all done fairly quickly. Pretty much EVERYTHING done on normal human scales is done under the "madman style" pace.

On the geologic time scale, things take a very long time. Unbelievably long time scales. Think hundreds of millions of years. Billions of years. Or at the very shortest, tens of millions of years. But in these extended periods of slow and steady productivity, entire mountain ranges are created and eroded away. Continents drift about on a sea of magma, shifting position and among climate zones, as well as colliding and/or moving away from other continents.

On these time scales, even the mighty Mount Everest is doomed. One day it will stop getting taller. Then wind, rain, and ice will slowly chip it apart. One day it will be nothing more than a stump of what was once the highest peak in the world. Life forms on the planet at that time (if any) will walk / crawl / swim over it and not even notice anything special.

One day there will be more Hawaiian Islands. One day Antarctica will be a forest again. Right now there is an inconsequential pile of dirt that will one day be the next Mount Everest - maybe even taller. Yellowstone will erupt again. The sun will run out of fuel and swell in size - cooking the Earth and anything left on it. Yes, one day this rock will be vaporized and become part of a planetary nebula. The elements on the planet - the ones we have not already launched off into deep space - will join the other elements cast off by the dying sun and drift in space, maybe becoming part of a new solar system. The leftover core of the sun will slowly cool, becoming dimmer and dimmer - till it shines no more. It will just be a dense, dark, and cool lump of stuff floating in space. Forever falling around the center of the galaxy, but never hitting anything.

On a geologic time scale, humanity is irrelevant. Everything humans have done - everything humans will do - will be undone by geology and the cosmic clock. Nothing we do will amount to anything as far as the universe is concerned.

I think I work best on a geologic time scale. Of course in my lifetime I would get very little - if anything - done. But what little I did would be added to hundreds of millions of years of additional little bits of work - and one day the results would be plain to see.

All the wiring is done on the boat. I have done a little here, a little there. With extended break periods in between the very brief periods of productivity. But now it is done. And done right. Since I was never rushing to finish - there was no reason to take shortcuts. When I encountered a problem I could think about it. For days if need be. I got one thing done at a time.

But now the grunt work is over. The hard part is done. The wires are all run and connected to either a fused positive lead or a common ground.

All that is left is to install the LED red and green side lights. This is easy. And Ill get it done sometime. Sometime. Two bolts is all it takes for each light. And then connect them to power.

The power leads are already wired in and connected to the switch. Simple to finish. I could have done it today.......but why bother. I do not need the boat tomorrow or the next day or even next week. So why rush?

Yes, you can indeed get a lot done by working slowly. Productivity experts are all morons. And long after their bodies have been reduced to dust - Mount Everest will still be growing as the Indian Subcontinent continues to push into the Asian Plate. But these "experts" today would say that the mountain is unproductive, for in their short time on this planet they will look at the mountain and not see any change. No progress. But yet there is progress.


We would all live longer if everything did not have to be a big race to the finish line.

Booked Passage

It would seem I have something to do this weekend! Something that will be a new experience. A trip to Key Largo. Now I have been to Key Largo plenty of times, so that is not new. But the mode of transportation will be new!

I am getting there on board a 40 foot sailboat.

It all begins Friday! Here is the general cruise itinerary.

FRIDAY:

1. finish any last minute shopping. I should have all the food and booze and beer and water and whatever I will need for the weekend.
2. Arrive at the Yacht Club at around 4 PM. The ship sets sail at 5 PM.

PORT OF CALL:

Hobie Beach, somewhere on the causeway beach or the Virginia Key portion of the beach. There shall be a beach BBQ and massive amounts of alcohol consumption.

My "cabin" is going to be an air mattress on top of the helm. Out in the open night air. If it rains it is going to totally suck.

The sea, she be a harsh mistress. If thar be rain thar be rain.

SATURDAY:

Race to Key Largo begins at 8 AM. I may or may not be awake when this happens. I assume I will be awake however, because sleeping out in the open means that when the sun rises it will probably wake me up. Unless I relocate to other sleeping quarters where the sun can not annoy me.

And then I get to sail south on Biscayne Bay. All the way to Key Largo. That should take 4 or 5 hours. Along the way there shall be more drinking and general fun having.

Arrive in Key Largo sometime in the afternoon. Then the party continues.

PORT OF CALL:

Who knows. Probably none. Like it matters.

Sunday:

Wake up when the sun annoys me, then maybe relocate to another area. Or remain awake. Party on!

Arrive at the Yacht Club whenever I get there - sometime in the late afternoon. Unload the remainder of my supplies and load them in the truck - if there are any left. Finish up any last minute party matters that still need to be attended to, if anyone is still alive. Try to grab some sort of de-grunging. Like maybe a quick shower / rinse down at the pool. Or whatever. Then return home.

It will be an adventure.

On the 19th, I am going to look at something.

Computers

It is about time for a new computer. See the computer I had developed some sort of mystery problem. Whatever. So I had to borrow one from my dad.

And you know what? It is not a horrible computer. It is an older Dell laptop. It works. I upgraded the memory to 2 gigs, and after that it seemed to work a little better. It was the least I could do.

But now - the return time is drawing near. So I have to get something.

And here lies the problem. I DO NOT want anything to do with Vista. Vista sucks. It was released before it was ready. And there is already talk of Windows 7.0 (the successor to Vista) hitting the market early next year.

If this is the case, then Vista is just another Millennium Edition flop. Something to be AVOIDED. Something you install, and then wish it never existed. Something that will never work properly, and so you wait for the next operating system to be released so you can install it and HOPE it works. But you are reasonably sure it will work better than the shit you have now.

Speaking of shit, you may notice my Cuss-O-Meter. I am doing very well! As you can see, 44.3% of the pages on this blog contain cuss words. Mostly "shit" I would imagine.

Only a paltry 8% of the sites that take the Cuss-O-Meter test contain cuss words. 8%??!?! Seems low to me. I guess most people get the Cuss-O-Meter so it shows how they do not use foul words. Like shit.

So anyway, I have 454% more cussing than other sites that took the test. I think this math is FLAWED. See if a website has no cussing than I have an infinite percentage more cussing. Infinity times zero equals zero.

So the geniuses who created the Cuss-O-Meter should change the wording to read I have 454% more cussing than the AVERAGE website that took the cussing test. Which if you ask me is an accomplishment to be proud of.

People who do not understand simple math concepts sometimes annoy me.

Anyhow - back to the computer conundrum. I like using the word "conundrum". Almost as much as I like to use the word shit. But I do not get to say "conundrum" much. Go figure.

ANYHOW, getting back on point - again - without getting distracted by something, the computer conundrum.

I do not want Vista, so this pretty much just leaves XP. But finding computers with XP is a pain in the ass.

Well not really. Dell still offers them. But not on all the models. So here is what I would like to get.

1. A laptop
2. With 512 megs dedicated video memory, although I would settle for 256 megs video memory.
3. Physical ram is not as important, as I can always add more - but 2 gigs minimum. 4 is better.
4. An operating system that does not suck ass
5. To spend the least amount possible

I should also consider a Mac. Fuck Windows and everything Microsoft. If that company can not do something as simple as releasing a product that WORKS WITHOUT NEEDING 50 SERVICE PACKS then that would be one thing. But they can not even handle that.

I hate this shit. It used to be simple to get a computer. But now it has to be so complicated. And anything you get is old in 2 weeks anyway - no matter what you get. So get something one generation behind! Yea - that does not work. Because then in 2 weeks you have something about as useful as a stone tablet you have to chisel data into. Might as well just bang rocks together there caveman!

Floating

Welcome to the rainy season!

Well at least if you live in Florida. It is raining right now. I sort of like it when it rains at night. It is soothing. At least to me.

But - the rain totally kills the satellite TV signal. Which sucks. I was watching some crap about how the universe began and then the signal just cuts out. It is almost like the universe wants to keep its secrets to itself, and does not want me to know too much about how it all came to be.

So the universe sent the rain, to mess up the satellite TV signal. Better than the universe sending a massive solar flare that takes out the satellites I suppose.

In other news, I have created a pro and con list for a life at sea.

PROS:
no lawn to mow
no trees / hedges to trim
no neighbors
no barking dogs
no assholes knocking on the door trying to sell me Omaha steaks
no chance at all of stepping in dog shit when I walk out the front door
I can fish anytime I want
I can have a live bait pen in my "front yard"
I can use a dingy to get around, which would be really cool
The party spot on Monument Island is always just a short ride away
I can pee off my porch if I get drunk
when the power goes off, I will not even notice it
If I get a wild hair up my ass, I can set sail for the Bahamas and bring my house with me.

CONS:
my house can sink
If it is raining and I need to go somewhere, I will get soaked because I will need to use a dingy to get to land, and then go to the vehicle - at which time there is no way I will still be dry.
hurricanes will suck even more than they already do
assholes throwing out a wake will rock my house
when it is raining and the wind is blowing like it is right now, the house will rock back and forth which could lead to sea sickness
friends will find it to be a pain in the ass to come visit
birds will shit all over everything, so I will be always cleaning up bird shit. Unless the cats can keep the birds away.
the boat will have to be hauled out every so often for bottom painting and whatnot. Bottom paint is expensive. Like a hundred bucks or more a gallon.
I will not have a lot of space.


There may be more pros and/or cons too. I still do not know if the current situation will allow a floating lifestyle.

And now.....for a NEW TV SHOW DISCOVERY!!!

This show is on the G4 network, DirecTV channel 354. From the network that brings you Ninja Warrior comes another wacky import from Japan! It is called "Unbeatable Banzuke". In this show, people have to impossible things. Like complete an obstacle course standing on their hands. Or challenge the "quick muscle" champion to see who can do the most push ups in 3 minutes (the champ pulls off over 200). And other wacky things.

The craziest thing is that there does not seem to be ANY fabulous prizes. No money. No million dollar recording contract. No washer and drier. No new kitchen. No new car. No vacation package in Hawaii. Nothing.

Apparently, if you win all you get is honor - which in America has no cash value.

Sofa King Worth It.

OK so maybe I should not have driven home. But fuck it - I did. So what of it??? Wanna fight about it????

So here is what went down. I have secured passage on a sailing vessel for a Miami to Key Largo regatta. This is really cool.

See I have never been on a sailboat of this magnitude! This is a 42 foot boat. A REAL sailboat. And if I want to go, I am there.

Well fuck! It seems I am going to Key Largo this weekend. I mean why the hell not?? I already have passage - all I have to do is make the formal request.

I may also have another opportunity to fulfill a dream of about 1 year. To be a homeowner. And of course by "homeowner" I mean a sailboat. It seems some Canadian croaked.

Pitty party on three. One. Two. Three!

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Thus ends the pitty party.

Anyhow someone with a sailboat in Miami kicked the bucket. The boat is still here. The family of the bucket kicker is in Canada.

Now here is the good part. It is possible that I may be able to get said sailboat for a song and a dance.

So....should I do it??? Should I live on the water in a 40 foot sailboat? Can I live OFF THE FUCKING GRID!??!?!?!

Who knows. But I am not going to get too excited about it right now. I think I can exist on a sailboat off the grid. Skipper and Fat Fred can keep the birds from shitting all over everything. In theory. Maybe.

At any rate, this is an interesting proposition. Canadians with sailboats living in Miami do not die everyday. So if I am going to do this I need to shit or get off the pot. Do it or not do it.

But in the meantime, I really think I am going to be crew for the regatta from Miami to Key Largo. It will be an adventure.

UPS Tries Again

I got my side lights today. So all is well. I have no idea why the first set of lights never got here, but whatever. I got my stuff. So now I can install the stuff. And then get more stuff.

Such is the cycle of stuff. You order the stuff, wait for the stuff, install the stuff, then it starts all over again.

I also got to spend a few hours out on the water. The po-po had to train new people on how to conduct boardings. So I went out in a boat, and got to play the part of someone on a boat getting stopped by the po-po. It was pretty cool, as I have never been stopped before. But should I get boarded, I know what to expect.

You should ALWAYS make sure you have all the required safety equipment on board. Just saying.

The real fun part was watching everyone scatter when the po-po boat showed up. Before they showed up, there were a bunch of jet skis and stuff zipping around. But once the marked police boat showed up with the blue flashing lights the skis vanished. Everyone vanished.

This weekend is supposed to have crappy weather. Spring is here, but it feels more like summer. It is warm. And this weekend may mark the start of the rainy season. We shall see!

Black Racer

It was a banner day here!

First, I had to rescue and relocate a snake. Fat Fred found the snake in the yard. Fat Fred is my big orange cat. Anyhow he found a snake, and was chasing it. For fun. Cats are like that.

But once the snake was on the patio it just coiled up and quit running. So Fred lost interest in it. He sucks at hunting. Fatso has never had to hunt anything in his life. So I picked up the snake, rescuing it. Then I put it in a box and relocated it.

Most people here are retarded. So they do not know how to do the most simple thing. Like for example, how to identify common snakes. Is the snake poisonous? Well you should know that! Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. And lets say you get bit. Can you identify the snake that got you? Because if it is poisonous, knowing what bit you helps the doctors give you the RIGHT anti venom.

This is the snake I had to capture and relocate. Well not this snake, but one just like it. I stole this photo off the internet. What you see here is a very common black racer.

The adult racer is a slender, satiny snake, plain black or slate gray with a white or gray chin and throat. Maximum length is about 70 inches, but most are 36-60 inches long. Persons otherwise familiar with snakes are often "stumped" by young black racers, which are colored very differently form the adults. For a year after hatching, racers are slate gray with regular rusty brown blotches running down the back. Black racers shouldn't be mistaken for the threatened eastern indigo snakes, which also are large, shiny and black. Indigos are much heavier, have a rusty or red chin and throat, and are much more local in distribution.

In South Florida, there are only snakes you have to be able to identify. And the black racer is not one of them. If you know the coral snake, eastern diamondback rattlesnake, pygmy rattlesnake, and cottonmouth water moccasin then you are on the right track. These are the toxic critters. Therefore once you learn these 4, you can assume that anything else is not poisonous. If you live in North Florida, then you have to add the copperhead and timber rattlesnake to the list.

I also managed to create the litter sticks! I got some wooden poles from Home Depot. Each pole is 4.5 feet long. Then I drilled a hole in one end of each pole. Not too deep, maybe 3/4 inch to 1 inch. The holes were large enough so that the head of a nail would fit inside it. After that it was simple. Dampen the hole, insert a 3 1/2 inch nail head first into the hole, then fill the hole with Gorilla Glue. The glue turns to foam on contact with the water, and then hardens into this plastic like stuff.

Now I have a litter spear. I can stab the litter with the nail on a stick, then pick up the litter without having to bend over. I made 4 such devices. They will all fit in a boat floor locker so that the sticks can be stowed out of the way. If I can beach the boat then I will use one stick. My crew will use two more. The fourth stick is going to be auctioned off to the highest bidder.

It Is Better To Do Nothing Than To Make Things Worse

Welcome to Wednesday! Half the week is pissed away, and what have you accomplished?

Chances are you have not accomplished anything. Don't worry about that however. This is the way I look at it.

If I have not accomplished anything, at least I have not made anything worse! Makes me feel better about things.

Accomplishing shit is overrated anyway. Far too much effort is involved. And you may end up making things WORSE

I have decided that my hat light rules. What is my hat light? It is a LED light that clips under the brim of a baseball style hat. When it is on, there is light wherever I happen to be looking . Which most of the time happens to be EXACTLY where I want the light pointed at. And I also have both hands free because I am not holding the light! It is clipped to my hat.

The hat light has proven itself on night fishing trips. It has proven itself when working on rigging wires and crap in unlit areas. It would probably also be useful for working under a car.

It is so useful, I want to get another one. One with RED lights. Red lights do not screw with my night vision. I may also want to get blue lights, for blue does not screw with night vision as bad as white light does. Green light is actually what your eyes are most sensitive to, so a green LED hat light would appear to be brighter than my current white hat light.

Now for something scary! I am to be used in some manner of training exercise. Some sort of cop training thing. I will go out in a boat (not mine) and pretend to be some sort of whatever it is they tell me I am pretending to be. Then the cops will stop the boat, run my ID, search the boat for whatever it is I am supposed to be hiding, and whatnot. I think anyway. This will be the first time doing this. I hope I get to pick what I get to be. Ill pick "Russian Spy". And just to throw the trainees off Ill wear a clown suit. Nobody would EVER expect a spy to be wearing a clown suit!

But hey - FREE BOAT RIDE! Count me in! Don't have to ask me twice. Ill get the chance to do these exercises again. There is apparently a demand for such thing. I may even be able to use my boat for this in the future.

Hey no problem! I do not mind. Anything to help. I get to accomplish something, and not really make things worse off in the process.

UPDATES!

Time for another update post! A lot of shit has gone down - and the only way to get it all out is with an update post. So here it goes!

First on the list, the beer tasting event. I was called back on Monday. So I had to open the mystery packet! I had to rate my overall opinion of the beer - which I rated as 5. Neither like it or hate it. I also had to rate how well the beer met my expectations - again I went middle of the road here. Then I had to give a reason for my opinions. Next I had to estimate how much of the mystery beer I might drink during one drinking occasion in the future. Then how drinkable was the beer? And there were 5 more pages of questions.

For this, I got an extra $15. Which will buy at least one pitcher of Sam Adams (a real beer) this Friday when I go do my weekly thing at the Miami Yacht Club. So all is good.

I also registered with this outfit to take part in future market studies. Apparently I am on the "drunk / alcoholic" list. So if there are future alcohol studies I will probably get called. But I would also take part in other studies. So long as I get the ca$h. There is no W2 form to fill out, so I am thinking this is ca$h the tax man does not need to know about. Hey one study a week would not be too bad. It would keep gas in the truck. I suppose.

And here is another fun thing! YOU TOO can sign up! Apparently they do research studies using just the phone. The person who called me said that they have people from all over that are on their list. So if you are so inclined, go HERE and then click "recruitment". You may never hear from them, but you may also get some scratch for answering questions over the phone. You never know.

SECOND on the list, I got the boat tunes functional. The electronics box is under the T-Top and there is power in the electronics box (I ran the wires) and the speaker wires are running from the center console to the electronics box and the stereo is connected to everything it needs to be connected to and the satellite radio thingie has power and the satellite radio antenna is put somewhere out of my way (NO MORE TANGLED WIRES!!!!). The stereo WAS installed in the center console where it was not exactly easy to get to. This setup is so much better.

I still need to install the electric dual horns. I also need to get something to bundle all the wires that are now in the electronics box, so everything is all neat and tidy up there. I would hate for the boat shot glass to get wrapped up in the stereo wires, or not be able to find the boat beer bottle opener! For that would suck.

THIRD - I got my registration in for the Baynanza cleanup thing. I had to call DERM because the web registration thing did not work. But I called and spoke to a person and got signed up.

I had to be very patient with the person who I spoke to. Apparently, the person rides the SHORT BUS to work. Because they are special. Maybe too special. Or maybe I suck at communication.

But this can not be. I am a communications master. I have a radio license and everything. So that must mean I can communicate. Therefore I can discount the "I suck at communications" theory and play up the "someone rides the short bus to specialville" theory.

Without getting too long winded, the special person got confused. I said that I was bringing three people with me. Myself plus two others. I also said that the boat can carry 7 people, so I have room for 4 more volunteers.

Now I thought this was clear. We are not talking about advanced calculus here. 7 - 3 = 4. That is some 1st grade stuff.

But there was confusion. Was I bringing 7 people? 4 people?

No, THREE people. Me plus two more. The boat holds 7 people. So I am bringing 7 people? NO - the BOAT holds 7 people. I am bringing myself plus 2. I can take on 4 more volunteers. So I am bringing 6 people?

Anyway, I think that eventually any confusion was cleared up. I have room for 4 and maybe even 5 more people on the boat. I suppose that slightly overloading the boat is OK as the trip will be short and in calm waters. Ill have to see how the boat sits in the water once everyone is in. If I have to, then I will just make two trips.

I have to construct litter sticks. Bending over to pick stuff that is NOT gold coins and other things that can be converted to legal tender sucks. So I will get me some sticks and put a nail in one end. Then I can use the nail to stab litter. The litter will be impaled on the nail, and then I can pick it up. And then convert it to garbage.

Now I know you are thinking litter and garbage is the same thing. Well it is not. When you throw something out a window, are you "littering" or "garbaging"? When you get fined for throwing stuff on the ground, is it a littering ticket or a garbaging ticket?

Litter is trash just thrown on the floor, and garbage is trash IN A GARBAGE CAN. Got it? Litter is on the floor, garbage is in a garbage can. Litter is never in a garbage can and garbage is never on the side of the road. Litter and garbage are in fact not the same thing. It is all trash, but where that trash is located determines what sort of trash it is.

So when things say "please place litter in its place" what are they saying? Well if you ask me they are saying "throw this crap on the floor when you are done with it. Or just pitch it out the window of you car. Because the "proper place" for litter is pitched out the window.

The proper place for GARBAGE is in the garbage can. And the people who write "please place litter in the proper place" on things are IDIOTS!!!!! They are TELLING people to litter! Which last time I checked is illegal.

But what do I know about words and meanings and stuff. Nothing, thats what. I am just some random idiot who might be slightly retarded.

Ill have photos of my litter sticks once they are constructed. Which will be soon.