The Story Will Just Not Die
Taking up where I left off yesterday, this Larry Craig thing will just not die! Now the news channels are playing the police interview with the guy. Do we really need to hear details of exactly how this guy takes a dump? I do not think so. And what the hell kind of crap is the "bust" all about? Shoes touching? That is it? I did not want to listen to the whole tape because frankly it is boring. Who cares. Not me.
Now I may have posted here how much I hate using public cans. I would much rather just use a tree. The tree is cleaner and the woods do not stink. Now I want to use the tree even more!
The cops are trolling the bathrooms? Is this really such a huge problem? Are bathrooms really a great place to pick up a date? All this is very distressing. I would think that with all this internet stuff and Craigslist personals, nobody would have to troll the bathrooms anymore looking for something.
And what if I go in to a public toilet to drop a duce in the brownie bowl? I guess I should keep my feet planted in front of the toilet! Which is what I was doing anyway. You see, personal space is very important. I keep all my stuff well away from my stall walls, and you keep your stuff in your stall. Never should anything touch anything else. Ever. Not even to pass the important papers from one stall to the other. I check BEFORE I go in if there is a supply of the important papers in there. If I am going to need them that is. If not, then I pick another stall. Or I use the woods and a leaf or something. Or I get some of the hand drying off paper towel things from the sink area. Self sufficiency is the name of the game in the men's room. Never should one ask for any sort of assistance or help.
IMPORTANT DETAIL! Learn how to identify poison ivy. NEVER use poison ivy to wipe with if you use the woods. You will be very sorry if you do.
And you also never try to talk to anyone else in the room.
But really what I want to post about today is how there is no real news in the USA anymore. This Larry Craig thing is not news! His interview tape is not news. His press conference is not news. Nobody gives a shit. Or at least I do not give a shit. This is something that belongs on some lame daytime TV show ala Jerry Springer or Oprah. Not "the news". The news is SUPPOSED TO BE informative and relevant. But what we have is bullshit about unimportant crap that nobody really cares about.
The "news" has become an all day, never ending, gossip show. And the public is buying it up! No wonder the nation is getting dumber and dumber (and wider and wider). People are watching this crap and THINK it is news! Well it is not.
I need to hold up a Brinks truck and get a few billion dollars so I can buy my own news network. I will install an electric zapping device on all the chairs used by people on the air. Whenever they cover non-news - ZAP! 50,000 volts at low amps to the ass. What counts as non-news? Whatever I say counts as non-news. It would be funny to watch my news network!
Is there not a WAR going on right now? Could have fooled me - because if I turn on CNN or Fox or whatever right now all I will hear are details about who did what in the bathroom. Is there nothing more important going on? I guess not.
Labels: non news